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The Heat

Uptight FBI agent must work with streetsmart cop - both females this time.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2014
7

as is

The feminine variation on the buddy-cop theme gives it a slight edge over the expected experience: funny but not hilarious, entertaining but not engrossing, good but not great.
7

Sharknado

A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
6

Succesfully bad

With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.
6

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
4

Pretentious, boring and annoying

I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.
4

Phantom

Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
6

Good intentions drowned in mistakes

Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!
6

Blue Jasmine

Woman becomes emotionally unstable after her wealthy, cheating and fraudulent husband goes to prison, but tries to get on with her life anyway

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
17-03-2014
7

Typical Woody Allen movie?

I heard rumours that some Woody Allen movies are actually not that bad. This certainly is a movie aimed at character building and slow story telling, but nevertheless kept me interested till the last scene. Eventually, I even felt sorry for the main character, played by Cate Blanchett.
7

The Campaign

Cocky congressman suddenly faces competition from an unlikely candidate in the elections

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-03-2014
7

Nice, but could have used a smarter story

Funny and witty spoof of contemporary politics, that's probably not far from the truth either. Slightly let down by a simplistic and predictable story.
7

Independence Daysaster

Aliens strike from above and below, smalltown folk (and president) scramble into action

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-04-2014
5

Bad - but sympathetic and unpretentious

You B-movie you! With your continuous bombastic music blasting over shaky camera shots of people constantly jumping in and out a car! But it's sort of all right, it does what it can. Effects are sufficient. Fair game.
5

The Impossible

A family tries to survive the 2004 tsunami in Thailand

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-04-2014
8

Terrifying and heart shattering

A terrifying and heart shattering experience throughout. Very well done, although maybe a little over eager to bring the viewer to tears.... but goodness did they succeed!
8

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

An office nobody frequently gets lost in his daydreams, but for a last assignement and a love interest, his adventures must become real

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-04-2014
7.5

Wonderfull movie that had even more potential

Great idea, beautifully done in a movie with a big heart. I thought the pacing was not quite right and it could/should have been even more magical.
7.5

Sucker Punch

Girl is institutionalized, but lives violent fantasies while dancing which help her escape it the end. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
7.5

Violent video clip, done with much love

Easy to fault, but I was amused by the violent, fabulously stylized, unearthly, anachronistic action, as well as the moody and steamy atmosphere. Absorb it like a videoclip, then you may get it.
7.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

Escape Plan

A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
6.5

Too cliched to be great

The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.
6.5

Pompeii

Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
6.5

Fine, but not all it could have been

Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.
6.5

47 Ronin

A bunch of samurai revenging their master
average 6.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
7

Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be

Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.
7

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
06-05-2014
5.5

Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie

Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....
5.5

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Again, a terminator comes back in time to secure the future. Again, he is hunted down by an advanced terminator model

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
7

A lesser but stilll adequate episode

Not as epic and overwhelming as the preceding parts, in part because of the rather dull main characters. Still, there's plenty of Terminator goodness in here to have a good time. Average actionmovies back then still were more fun than the soulless fx bonanzas we get nowadays.
7

Man of Tai Chi

In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
6

Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird

Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.
6

Godzilla (2014)

Monsters attack (was that a spoiler already?)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-05-2014
7.5

Still too much Hollywood for it's own good

Big and bold monster rampage is the easy part, making it count is hard. Some surprisingly stylish scenes are overshadowed (I think it had two artdirectors) by the usual movie laziness en cliches - like people constantly briefing each other about things everyone's already doing. A fun ride though.
7.5

Catwoman

Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
4

Maybe girls like it

The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.
4

Django Unchained

Bounty hunter frees slave, together they go on a violent trip set things straight and rescue the slave's wife.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-06-2014
8

Up with Tarantino's standards and trademak style

A bold, daring and violent way to address slavery, full of Tarantino-style endless chit-chat and under-the-skin tension that somehow keeps you on the edge of your seat. I thought Django himself was overshadowed and flat, but then again I am not a big fan of Foxx.
8

I, Frankenstein

Frankenstein's monster's chosen profession, being alive and all, is demon hunter. Together, with gargoyles!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-06-2014
4.5

Pointless and quite uninteresting

The creation of the monster is briefly told in flashbacks while the opening titles are still running. The fact that he is Frankentein's is hardly relevant. He is basically a strong, civilized dude fighting demons, in a dull and stiff copycat of Underworld and Van Helsing Gothic stylistics.
4.5

Edge of Tomorrow

A not so brave solider gets killed on a beach fighting aliens, but then gets to relive that day over and over again, get better at it each time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2014
8

Slamming scifi with a twist

A neat thrill ride based on a great story, cool action and splendid visuals. Maybe the story was over-centered at the main character and story, making it feel like the suffering of the rest of world wasn't an issue. But who cares.
8

300 Rise of an Empire

Greeks vs Persians fight slomo. Mostly on sea.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2014
7.5

Beautiful painting of heroic bloodshed

This side effect of the wonderful style is that is also creates veil that blocks connection with the people and story. But as a glorious ode to violence and bravery, I thought it was impressive, intense and beautifully crafted. Also: Eva Green.
7.5

Eagle vs. Shark

Nerdgirl in pursuit of a nerdguy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-07-2014
7

Touching

The lead actress steals your heart the minute she appears on the screen, and takes you into a funny, touching and quite unique love story. Looses some momentum as it progresses, though
7

Ender's Game

A youngster is the chosen one to be trained as spacefleet admiral and repell alien threat

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-07-2014
4.5

Kids in space

These kids are trained for space command by having them play a pointless Harry Potter floating game! This unwatchable movie is full of such nasty face palm moments, burying the sharp looking visuals deep beneath the surface. "He has a complicated response to authority" - who talks like that?
4.5

Carrie (2013)

Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
5.5

Identical yet inferior to the original

Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.
5.5

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Human survivors of a global virus outbrake need access to a dam, but this is the realm of the apes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2014
8.5

Strong and proud

This movie is like the apes in it: strong, proud, majestic, thrilling and mystical. Very well balanced stuff. My only gripe is that the apes started talking too much with needlessly accurate grammar. The little words and hand signs were more impressive.
8.5

Snowpiercer

Survivors of a frozen world found shelter on a selfsupporting train, driving endlessly circles. But a war of classes rages.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2014
7

Interesting

At first I was put off by the cliched revolt of lowerclass people in dirty clothes and low lighting conditions. But as they fight their way to the higher class front of the train, color comes in literally and figuratively, bringing to live this interesting metaphor of real live society.
7

Under the skin

Alien version of Scarlett Johannsson looking for men who will not live to tell about their close encounter
average 7.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-11-2014
7.5

A pleasant mystery

The mystery of not quite getting what is going on really adds to suspense and intrigue and this stylish scifi. Low profile in an effective way, but the many long scenes can be a bit much at times.
7.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
04-08-2014
7.5

Bit weird and unsettling, but nevertheless interesting and sensual

A must see for those interested in original alien movies, Scarlett Johansson, or both. Partially filmed with standard digital cameras, providing a successfull hidden camera experience. Visual effects from the eighties and creepy sounds throughout the movie provide the cherry on top.
7.5

Mama

Couple takes in two little girls that have been living alone in the woods for many years. Or have they?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2014
8

Fine, original and well made horror

Like many horror movies, it sort of keeps you occupied with somewhat isolated scary scenes and jumpscares until it's time for the finale. But it did so in a more stylish, original, creepy and effective way than most.
8

Lucy

Woman gains acces to full brain capacity after a drug is accidently spilled in her body - giving her remarkable skills

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2014
7.5

Survives its many flaws

I wish the superpowers were a little less extreme, the science a bit more refined, the pacing a but more delicate. It's also unfortunate that the superpowers are only used for fighting goons, not something more poetic. Despite all that, it still is a very entertaining, smart and quite a cool movie.
7.5

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Demigod kids confront Kronos because their precious summercamp is in jeopardy. No really.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-08-2014
6

I doubt even teenagers will really fall for it

It just - BAM- puts you in this fantasyworld with gods and magic without ever introducing us to anything, without building tension of mystery. There's some charm in the fantasy elements, but mostly it is a childish bunch of whining teenagers. There's also a lack of sea monsters.
6

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Hydra has infiltrated the safety of SHIELD, and there's a new enemy as well

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-08-2014
7

A really mixed bag

It's more mature, confident and less hysteric than most superhero movies, due to restrained superpowers and lots of attention to the story. But, all characters are flat and unlikable, and the brawls are a bit tedious. This quality popcorn amusement feels like it could have been more than that.
7

A Scanner Darkly

Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
6.5

Less than meets the eye

The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)
6.5

Naked Lunch

Cockroach exterminator gets intoxicated by the poisonous gas and a surreal, bizarre story starts. Like typewriters that are mucus producing alien heads.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2014
7.5

Bizarre, they way some like it

A little slowish perhaps, but pleasantly bizarre, strange and filthy in true Cronenberg style.
7.5

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
6.5

Stunning and tiresome

There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.
6.5

The Monuments Men

In WWII, a specialized group sets out to save artworks from destruction or being stolen by the nazis

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-09-2014
5

A very boring movie

A moviesubject in danger of being boring. And despite the A-list of actors and undoubtedly good intentions, I am sorry to say that it is.
5

Vanishing Waves

Science team tries to save a comatose patient by connecting her brain with that of a a healthy subject.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2014
7

Kills it's darlings

Much to my regret, this movie kills most it's wonderful, imaginative and tasteful scenes, by endlessly dwelling in them. The unprofessional and unlikely science guy and his motivations are also a dissonant I wished they had left out. Too bad, as this had potential for becoming a mesmerizing gem.
7

Escape from Tomorrow

Familyman slowly looses his mind in Disneyland

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-09-2014
7.5

Succesful absurdity

Successfully achieves an uncanny atmosphere without over relying on effects, instead setting an ominous mood with black and white tones. I also dig the usage of a superhappy place for something twisted to evolve. Quite exciting.
7.5

Noah

God asks Noah to built a boat to save all animals from the upcoming global flood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
7

Strong but very religious (duh!)

Strong and well made epic. Once they are on the boat, the endless contemplations about God's intentions and whether killing baby's is ok, is quite a lot to take in.
7

No Country for Old Men

A sherrif, hunter and hitman get involved when a bag of money is left after a deadly showdown in the desert
average 8.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
8.5

Intense movie

This movie sucks you right in, forces the viewer to smell the desert and all the rotten things that will happen later on. Great acting, intense experience...
8.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
8

Hot and involving

The Texas desert heat oozes of the screen, as does a firework display of class acting. The slow pacing only contributes to the constant feeling of stress and dredd of things to come.
8

Oculus

Brother and sister try to get even with a mysticial mirror that causes supernatural drama and terror in their childhood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
6.5

Some scares, a lot of annoyances

They sure know how to do good scares, and there's some nice ideas for the story framework as well. But the present-past alternations gets tiresome quickly, and I was totally put off by the analytical, cold and utterly unconvincing attitude and going-about of the (present day) sister.
6.5

The Zero Theorem

Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2014
6.5

Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement

The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.
6.5

Stalingrad

In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
6.5

Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat

A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.
6.5

Sex Tape

Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
6.5

Little more than it's own tagline

Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.
6.5

Antiviral

In the future, loyal fans want the diseases of their idols. A broker in such sicknesses gets a bit too involved.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-10-2014
7.5

Sickening - in a good way

A nasty and slightly disturbing premise that is cleverly neutralised in a clean, bright white scenery. An intriguing watch.
7.5

Upstream Color

Woman is force drugged some sort of maggot. From there on, you figure it out.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2014
7.5

Unique experience if you're up for it

Confusing, strange and distant. But at the same time, by shutting the viewer completely out, you can just observe like a fly on the wall, and become intrigued in the process. Did I sound like I swallowed the maggot just there?
7.5

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Sentinels threaten the existence of the mutants, so they sent Wolverine back in time to prevent them from ever being built. Sort of like that one movie.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2014
7

Freaks!

Smooth, sparkling and good looking entertainment. But these mutants and their adventures are stereotypes by definition, that won't lock in emotionally. I also thought Wolverine was out of place as the sensible mediator trying to get people to change their ways.
7

Fury

The endeavours of an American tank team on German soil near the end of WWII

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-10-2014
8.5

Incredibly intense and tighyl shot

For a moment or so, I thought I noticed some story/character things to whine about. But the brutal, loud, incredibly tightly shot and exhilarating combat scenes made me forget all about that. Also proves that there's still merit in the 'rooky joins the team' story.
8.5

Transformers: Age of Extinction

The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
4

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.
4

Jarhead 2: Field of Fire

Supply mission in Afghanistan turns bad and turns into a mission of a very different nature

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2014
6.5

ok-ish, next time believe in yourself

It's not a bad war movie. It is, however, a little too preoccupied with setting up mandatory warmovie cliches and visuals, and showing how great and fun the military is. The Taliban apparently also have serious aiming issues.
6.5

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