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When his girlfriend reappears after being murdered before his eyes, a man discovers his world is not what it seemed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2025
6

A decent scifi story lacking magic

It's a pretty cool story, and it feels like a passion project in which everyone did what they could with a limited budget. I just wish it had some more energy and sense of wonder in it - it's all a bit dull and lacking stand-out moments.
6

Bad Moms

A mother refuses to live up to the high standards and schedules of modern motherhood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2025
7

Fun with some kick

Rather than playing it save and becoming an average comedy, the jokes are saucy enough to give it some personality. Near the end I was afraid it was going to sink itself in morals and lessons of life, but that remains within acceptable range.
7

Heretic

Two missionary girls ring the wrong door

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2025
7

Nice

A really decent thriller with some mystery, interesting religious discussions and horror puzzles. using Grant was great casting; he didn't even need to really alter his style - his friendly demeanor combined with sinister undertones work great.
7

Black Eyed Susan

A broke man takes up a job to test a lifelike sex robot suitable for abuse. Will he be up for it? And will the robot?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2025
7.5

Who knew: Existentialism and softporn do mix

Even though it looks and sounds very porny, and looks like it was shot in 1970, it still manages to be a fairly interesting philosophical movie about being human. Remarkable.
7.5

Dirty Angels

A team of female specialists sets out to rescue kidnapped girls in Afghanistan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-01-2025
5

Fake tough girls

I starts of pretty intense and serious, only to evolve into a rather average and unconvincing action movie. All of the characters feel forced and flat, and even my beloved Eva Green, with just a single grimace and zero emotions can't make her character comes live .
5

Konferensen

A group of government officials goes on camp for brainstorming about a new shopping mall, where a serial killer comes after them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-01-2025
6.5

entertaining comedy-slasher

The goofy characters and their petty quarrels make this somewhat of a horror-comedy, even if some of the takedowns are fairly brutal. Quite entertaining indeed, but also quite shallow and volatile.
6.5

Squid Game 2

In an attempt to uncover the island and dismantle the games, the winner of the previous run gets stuck in them allover again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2025
7

A good fix, but for how long

I guess it does a commendable job of bringing some new perspectives as well as delivering on the core material. But some fatigue kicked in with me as well; especially the dragged-out nature of everything, and the ultra clunky overacting and dialogues.
7

90 Minutes in Heaven

A priest experiences heaven after a car accident, but is prayed back to live and now faces a long medical recovery

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2025
5

Heavy handed drama with insufficient payoff

I was hoping for some interesting footage or concepts about heaven, but this mostly a long, quite boring Christian medical drama. The heaven stuff does come up, but it's banal and unremarkable. There was one live lesson that stuck with me though, which is more than I can say about most movies!
5

Bad Taste

An team of men try to hold of an invasion of aliens who look like men

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-01-2025
6

You'll have to meta-watch it

You may enjoy this as Peter Jackson's first movie, for the practical and juice gore effects or just for the cheeky 'some guys with a camera made a movie' vibes. But I mostly found it a bit filthy in the wrong way, unfunny and was actually a bit bored at times.
6

Nosferatu

looking for a lost love, a vampire comes to town.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2024
7.5

A beautiful but not terrifying loveletter

The bleak 18th century surroundings, beautiful costumes, the miles thick and dark atmosphere make this an impressive movie, but also make it more of a dark fairytale than truly scary. Perhaps it is not trying or to be, but I am still awaiting the first truly scary vampire movie.
7.5

Divinity

I think it's about two angels coming to earth to stop mankind's obsession and potions for living forever

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2024
5

You can't fix a lacking story with art

Only at the very end the movie gains some momentum, and I actually liked the stop-motion scenes in there. But up until that point it is rather slow, vague and pleased with itself - so much so that the finale is unable to make up for it.
5

Inseminoid

A researcher on an alien planet is inseminated by something mysterious and then terrorizes the entire base

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2024
4

Close to 80s cheese, but not close enough

This got pretty close to the campy but highly entertaining 80s scifi bargain-bin material I have grown to like, but the endless scenes of people running around pointlessly through the same hallways, doing vague actions according to a vague script, ruined things a bit.
4

Nutcrackers

A business hotshot unexpectedly needs to take care of his hillbilly nephews. It's just for the weekend.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2024
4.5

Familiar story without new inspiration

Something in the atmosphere feels off, the jokes tend to fall flat, it lacks a punchy script and dialogues. If you're going to do such a predictable story, at least make it good.
4.5

Ascendance (2017)

A girl becomes aware of angel-like beings guarding tunnels, and upcoming doom for the world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-12-2024
3

Amateuristic, repetitive and vague.

It's all painfully amateuristic, repetitive and vague. The misleading artwork must have been the last resort to have people watch this, which unfortunately did the trick for me.
3

La Palma

Nordic people on La Palma face vulcanic disaster

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-12-2024
7

Disaster that delivers

Some of the actions and motives of the people involved may be dubious, maybe even infuriating, but overall this delivered what a disaster movie should: tension, screaming at your television and a good time.
7

Livid

When three friends sneak into an old ladie's mansion looking for treasure, a haunted past finds them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2024
5

Not scary and out of fashion

Despite a few decent moments, my main impression was that it is very dated: the old mansion with vines and cobwebs, a pale lady, creepy dolls and stuffed animals, little ghost girls. Even the music sounded out of fashion. Perhaps it is an ode to those days, but then at least make it scary.
5

Starry Eyes

An actress desperate for a role auditions at a cult movie company, that slowly alters her behavior and even herself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2024
6.5

Decent but immature

It's quite original and has some some nice mystique and a pretty dense atmosphere. But it wasn't too scary, and the story felt a bit underdeveloped, like some ideas not fully formed into a well flowing script.
6.5

Wild Robot, The

A robot designed for serving humans crashslands in a forest with only animals and needs to reinvent herself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2024
8

Great movie with a big heart

If you want to call it 'Wall-E in the woods' that's fine by me - it still is a great movie that made me laugh and even cry a bit, and the remarkable 'paint' style looks great. It has pleasant, sensible life themes that are well balanced and never overdone.
8

Crash (1996)

A couple comes into contact with a group who are arroused by wrecked cars and people, preferably both at once

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2024
7

Forbidden pleasures

As uncomfortable as it sounds (and is), there is something exciting about peaking into this subculture. It's definitely a peculiar and pleasantly forbidden movie, but it would have been more involving if the characters themselves were at all impressed with their newly found fetish.
7

Foundation (season 1)

In a galaxy ruled by powerful emperors, group of rebels rise - who use math to predict the future and stay one step ahead

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-12-2024
7.5

Series with epic grandeur but some distance

This show features plenty of interesting and well casted characters, some unique scifi designs and plenty some subplots that work well together. It's a bit cold and distant though, which may fit in the cold universe this is, but makes it less involving.
7.5

MaXXXine

She finally gets her big break to play in a non-adult movie. And there is a killer on the loose

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-12-2024
6

A dissapointing end of the trilogy

On itself it already was a rather meaningless movie that can only you make you shrug. But seeing this as a part of the trilogy with the remarkable Pearl and X, really makes you wonder how this ended up here and what they were thinking. Mink needs a better finale.
6

Tous les Dieux du Ciel (All the Gods in the Sky)

A man takes care of his disabled sister, working towards a mysterious resolution for the both of them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2024
7

Remarkable and uncomfortable.

A gloomy and twisted movie that is not about sensationalism, but a more subtle sense of sickness and discomfort. It effectively uses some scifi and horror elements to create an interesting mix.
7

Blood, Sweat and Terrors

Several short stories about.. fighting?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2024
3

Chocolates were emtpy inside

I usually like these short stories, like a box of chocolates. But these were pointless, poorly acted, badly choreographed, bad looking and just utterly boring.
3

Don't Move

A woman goes to the forest to end it all, but ends up paralized by a kidnapper and needs to fights for her live without moving

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-12-2024
7

An orignal and tense story. Not great but perfectly fine.

While it never quite reaches the nailbiting, unbearable anxiety the premise ought to have, it still did a good job of keeping me hooked and involved. Extra points for originality. That guy though, twas just too damn pretty. Somehow I think it would have worked better if he looked like actual people.
7

Banshee Chapter

A woman investigates the dissapearance of an old friend, who took a mysterious drug that allowed him to see... them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-12-2024
4.5

A semi-found footage flick that's messy and fails to impress

The mysterious broadcasts were creepy, I wish they had stuck with that. Instead it was a pointless addition to an underdeveloped story that actually got a bit boring at times. That reporter guy out-acted everyone and therefore almost seemed in the wrong movie. Misleading artwork too.
4.5

Elevation

Monsters have driven the last humans above 2400 meters, but they have to get below that for medicines

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-12-2024
6.5

Average entertainment with no surprises

A scfi monstermovie will probably always provide some solid entertainement, even if it can be pretty darn average. The monsters are unimpressive, the characters okay but flat or unlikable, the plot is predictable. Even the music was run of the mill. Decent, but leaves your mind immediately.
6.5

Smile 2

This time, a pop diva is haunted by the smile

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2024
8

Great horror full of inspiration

I felt there might be some inconsistencies in the lore, and perhaps the script is even a little jumpy. But my my - what great and fibrant horror! Full of memorable scenes to give you the chills, not relying on lazy jumpscares. Fine performances and great sounds and music.
8

Megalopolis

One guy wants to redesign New York but the mayor does not. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2024
3.5

Extremely unclear and boring

Who knows - maybe in 10 years time this movie will have a cult following, pondering it's deeper meaning and misunderstood brilliance. But as it stands, I did not understand what was going on and was extremely bored by it - begging for it to end.
3.5

Vesper

A girl tries to get by and take care of her father in a ecologically destroyed world in the future

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-11-2024
6.5

Likable movie in need of a tad more spices

While this scores with a non-sensationalist approach, sympathetic characters and some pleasing effects and biological creatures, it is let down by an overall slowness and lack of dynamics in the already sober story.
6.5

Watchmen Chapter 1

When one of the watchmen semi-super hero's is killed, the now retired (and outcast) others are left with the question why

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-11-2024
7

Objectively good, but not involving

A very good looking animation, that - I think - retains the gloomy and underdog atmosphere and unique style of the comics. Nevertheless, I found it hard to get really moved by it, or get involved with any of the characters - except of course for the spectacular Dr. Manhatten.
7

Deadpool & Wolverine

They need to figth some evil person to escape some evil place with the help of other heros and so on and so forth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2024
5

A two hour long fart

I still think I get this humor, and could enjoy the anarchy and meta self awareness. But mostly it feels like two hours of immature teen jokes. Everyone's invincible so the fighting is pointless and boring as hell, and the story is just completely irrelevant. Hmmm, maybe I don't get it after all.
5

Slingshot

When a spaceship traveling to Titan is hit by a mysterious object, the crew's coherence is put to the test as to whether to continue the mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-11-2024
6.5

A reasonable scifi with a reasonable, but not entirely new, twist

The story and the twist were done before in another movie, but is still worthwhile. Up until the twist, it is okay, with decent performances, decor and a nicely accumulating sense that something is wrong.
6.5

Fly Me to the Moon

A marketing spindoctor goes to work for Nasa, where she needs to sell a product that weighs heavy on her conscience

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-11-2024
6.5

Another average comedy, albeit in a nice setting

It's fine. The 60's atmosphere mixed with space rockets emit a good vibe. But like all comedies, it seems, it evokes some light chuckles at best. For me, the stiff and lifeless character and/or performance by Tatum was the main culprit.
6.5

Trap

The police seal of a concert in a hunt for a serial killer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2024
6

Played cards too early?

It starts of pretty interesting, but pretty early on we already get what feels like would be the twist. After that, what remains is a mildly entertaining, but hardly believable or groundbreaking crime/thriller.
6

KAOS

The Greek Gods, and some mortals, plan to bring down Zeus

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2024
6.5

Unique but can be boring and slow

Reimagining the Greek Gods in a (very) modern setting was a great idea, and I generally liked the style and vibe of these series. But I also found it was rather dragged out, and at times very low energy, especially the scenes in the afterlife - during which my mind wandered of several times.
6.5

Witch

A woman in a medieval town is accused of being a witch, and with the help of a mysterious man tries to survive the hunt for her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-10-2024
3

Poor quality drab

Sometimes you are reminded how hard it must be to properly shoot a movie, because, as this movie shows, even people simply walking from A to B can look awful and fake. And that's before we come to the tedious dragged out screenplay and conversation, bad dialogue and complete lack of tension.
3

Exists Within

For her study project, a girls decides to investigate the mysterious sounds coming from the appartment above her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2024
6

Too tame, missed oportunities

I guess the charm of this movie would be an everyday urban girl unraveling horror and drama way bigger than she bargained for. The problem is the execution though: it is al quite slow and flat, potential nail biting moments fail to raise the temperature, worsened by mismatched upbeat music.
6

Wandering Earth II, The

A prequel showing the extraordinary hardships en technological global challenges to get earth moving

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-10-2024
6.5

Feels like a three hour trailer

The space tech in here is bold and looks stunning, and the movie feels more mature than part I. But the script and storytelling is exhaustive, consisting out of endless shots of people doing and saying techno stuff instead of really following a character.
6.5

Escape Pod

Two people escape a destroyed space ship in a pod, in which extraterrestial danger and hidden motives await

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-10-2024
5.5

Cheap, but they had some ideas that work

Most people probably won't be able to see through the no-budget quality, silly pod decor, and so-so actors. But something in the story managed to keep my interest, and even unfolds some layers that were quite amusing. An example of ideas being able to overcome limited resources. Barely.
5.5

Uncharted

A guy gets a change to find hidden treasure, and his mysteriously disappeared brother

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-10-2024
6

A half decent adventure, but without soul

I guess this will satisfy the basics of treasure hunting adventure movies, but that's about it for me. I found none of the characters particularly likable or able to carry this, the treasure finding was so convenient and lazy and the finale is a bit much.
6

Inland Empire

An actress starts to drift in alternate (sur)realities as she performs a role

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-10-2024
7

Divisive, not for everyone, but I am glad I experienced it

I am still not sure about this understandably divisive movie. Did I watch agonizing, slow and pretentious nonsense, or a harrowing, smart and artistic descend into madness? The first two hours felt like the former. The last hour I began to see the latter.
7

Subservience

With his wife in the hospital, a man takes in a robot nanny. Gee I wonder will all be okay.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-10-2024
5

A pretty tired take on a familiar story

It finds very little to add to the familiar story of androids becoming hostile, being predictable and plain. Perhaps the erotic tension earns it some credits, even though that could have been miles better too. Fox was cold, even for a robot. Madeline Zima was the warm highlight of this movie.
5

Kalki

Good versus evil epic scifi kind of thing

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-10-2024
5

Abort

I don't want to review movies I did not watch in it's entirety, but I am not sure I would have survived this exhaustive mix of epic but fake looking stuff, a dissonant slapstick hero amidst serious themes and a cardboard feel to everything and everyone, with nothing to care about.
5

Frontera Verde

A detective investgates bodies in the jungle, leading her deeper into the jungle, it's native tribes and jungle magic

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-10-2024
6.5

A strong concept shaped with a lack of energy

On paper this was amazing. A crime story set against the background of beautiful jungle footage, mysterious forces and tribal rituals. What's not to like? Well, the pacing for one, as it constantly looses momentum and wanders aimlessly through the story as she does through the jungle.
6.5

Andromeda

A man is called by Nasa to travel (?) into outer space to find a new home for mankind

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-09-2024
4.5

A poor movie about big ideas

Well there definitely are some wild ideas about space travel, even if they feel made up as they go. The problem is the presentation; guys needlessly standing in the dark, problematic dialogues and a lack of flow and good story telling. Hard to stay awake with.
4.5

Broken, The

One day, a woman sees herself. And discovers a terrible truth about mirrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-09-2024
7

A modest but pleasing sciencefiction thriller

While this movie may not be spectacular in terms of quality or script, it nevertheless has an intriguing story to tell, and does so with care and a gentle touch. There is something mature about it, not relying on trickery or spectacle, but on it's story.
7

Substance, The

When a star is dumped because she's too old, she tries a substance that promises to grow a younger version of herself. Out of herself.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-09-2024
8.5

A blast

An truly awesome movie, thanks to it´s nasty body horror, snappy imagery, great actors and crazy (but not so subtle) story. But what´s best is how loud and proud it delivers the insanity, making it just so damn enjoyable. I can't remember being this much entertained by a movie lately.
8.5

Parallax

A couple struggles with the depression and apathy of the woman, which turns out to have a mind bending cause

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2024
4.5

Weak potentials denied

There might be some interesting layers and scifi conundrums at the end, but you'll have to make it through the terribly slow, gutless and stale first hour to get there, after which I was too exhausted to notice or care.
4.5

Before Dawn

A young Australian boy decides to leave the farm and fight in the trenches of the first world war

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2024
5

A very average WW1 flick

I found the confrontations lacking tension, the drama felt forced (especially with the cheesy music), there was no sense of scale of the battles or battlefield, and the script felt a bit random. I am sorry mates: it's a no for me.
5

Oddity

A woman dies under mysterious circumstances. Her blind sister, and her creepy wooden man, investigates.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2024
7.5

An interesting horror/crime story with plenty of horror shenanigans

A creepy combination of crime and horror, that scores points for being unique and weird, and doing it's own thing. It can be ridiculously dark (who lives like this?) and perhaps a bit nonsensical, but it's one of the more interesting horrors of the year.
7.5

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