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Death Valley

Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
4

Uninspired and stolen

A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.
4

Dos

Man and woman wake up in a strange hotelroom, with their belly's sewn together

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
6.5

Tasteful, but ultimately doesn't make the impression it could

Despite the horrible premise, it stays away from torture porn or excessive gore, focusing instead of the story and mystery of how this came to be. It certainly kept me keen to find out, but performances, the story or big reveal all were a bit mellow to me, leaving me slightly underwhelmed.
6.5

Prisoners of the Ghostland

A convict is chartered to rescue a woman from a mysterious group that is held captive by ghosts. If not he explodes.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-12-2021
5

Weird is not always good

Some pretty colors and scenes aside, this is mostly uncomfortably odd and confusing. You could argue that is to be commended for being different and broken free from the mainstream, but not in a way that I found pleasing.
5

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

During the familty vacation to Florida, the kid accidently ends up alone in New York - as do his nemesis crooks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-12-2021
6.5

Faithfully more of the same

I'd say it successfully manages retain the same atmosphere, jokes and story line as the original. So if you are in need of more of the same slapstick humor, and warm family friendly Christmas vibes, this will do.
6.5

The Last Duel

Story behind the last official duel of the middle ages, when there were almost no colors

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2021
7

Well made and interesting, but know it's basically lengthy love drama

What a great idea to explore what was behind these duels: Who were these people? What were they fighting for? And while the movie is made with much class and great acting, it still felt like a love-triangle-jealousy kind of thing which almost is a bit soapy at times.
7

Reminiscence

When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2021
5

half decent idea failed

The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.
5

The Head Hunter

Medieval solitary warrior is combating demons and collecting their heads

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2021
7

Nice surprise that dares to do things differently

I quite liked this little nugget. The way we see him going about his work without even seeing the demons, and without any pampering explanation, is pleasantly mysterious and makes us observers peeking into his life. It keeps it intimate and compact, and the visuals are nice.
7

The Other Lamb

A small cult with a single male leader herding only females lives in seclusion in the woods. Revolt looms.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-11-2021
7.5

Minimalistic but not

The cinematography is as sober and plain as the cult members live their lives. It's almost a collage of images and unspoken emotions instead of a traditional story, but you still can feel the revolution building up beneath the skin. Good.
7.5

Warning

A bunch of (related?) stories, with perhaps future technology and mankind as a central theme

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-11-2021
4.5

Vague unrewarding stories

Incomprehensible at first, I got some ease of mind when I realized it's just some vague ideas and separate stories glued together in a movie. In itself still a feasible concept, but in here it was just a bit pointless and directionless, without any payoff.
4.5

Mulholland Drive

Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
6.5

Should have triggered me, but didn't

The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.
6.5

Midnight Mass

A new priest comes to a small island with a deeply christian community. Alongside miracles, he brings something more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
7.5

Reli horror story with pleny of class (and monologues)

Very atmospheric, with a calm but steady pace, a slow but addictive built-up of mystery and loads of interesting characters. Many tend to talk in long, long, monologues which impresses at first, then starts to feel unnatural, then slowly become too much and even get in the way of the finale.
7.5

Short Peace

4 short anime tales

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2021
7.5

Puts some full-length anime's to shame

While they are too short to really have an impact, I quiet enjoyed these original and beautifully drawn anime's. They are a big step up from the usual, similar looking and sounding anime stuff and I am ready for more!
7.5

Brand New Cherry Flavor

Young movie director has her movie stolen in Hollywood, so she asks a witch to help her take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2021
7.5

A remarkable and bold series that features quite a few novelties

A bit filthy and bizarre, somewhat reminiscent of Lynch/Cronenberg weirdness and I like it. It walks a remarkable line between strange humor (puking live kittens?) and gory violence. I also like the modern day approach to witches and witchcraft.
7.5

Kin Dread

Traumatized guy, confined to a room making soundseffectcs, discovers something strange in his apartment and about his past

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-11-2021
4.5

Could't follow or care

There might be a clever and interesting idea in here, but I am afraid it didn't quite come out for me. It was just to hard to follow, too vague to make sense and often got stuck like a car in a the mud.
4.5

Squid Game

Out of money and out of a future, a small-time hustler accepts an invitation to mysterious game that offers a great price

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-11-2021
7.5

Unique, dark and bright

While the viral success and hype it generated may seem a bit much, I would agree that it is a fresh, well made series that make you eager for the next episode. The bright colors contrast nicely with the dark theme, you get to like the protagonists and loathe the bad ones.
7.5

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fox and friends engage in a war with local farmers when they steal chickens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2021
5

Did not push my buttons

It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.
5

Wall-E

Humans have abandoned a badly polluted earth where one robot little tiresly tries to clean it up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
9

One of the best Pixarmovies

One of the best Pixar movies ever, rightfully praised for having almost no conversation and being about droids, yet still being a deeply touching, funny and engrossing. It is also dares to be a bit dark and cynical without ruining the mood. Brilliant.
9

The Spine of the Night

Animation about a power struggle involving witchcraft

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
7

Plenty to like but not to feel

Overall a satisfactory experience for animation enthusiast like myself, with some imaginative action and storytelling. But with no background story and no real character to know or love, it's doesn't really hit you emotionally.
7

Lamb

Couple who run a secluded sheepfarm get a very special lamb one day

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
8

Bizarre and modest at the same time

I think I'd call it horror, which is uncanny, bizarre and disturbing but at the same time very plain, pure and subtle and without ever becoming cheap. And I finally liked Noomi Rappace, who looks and acts fantastic here.
8

Zombie Lake

Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
6

Be ready for the worst and have a good time

Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.
6

Joker

How Joker, you know - Batman's nemesis, came to be

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-10-2021
8

Exactly what Joker's origin story deserves

It's done right. You can feel the man sliding off, the transformation is plausible and understandable, it's not simplistic right and wrong, and I sympathized with him. The movie also features beautifully lit scenery and of course world class acting.
8

Alien

On their way back to earth, a spaceship investigates a distresscall from a planet

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-10-2021
9

Redefining

I am going to rate it sky high for redefining (space)horror, design and science fiction in general. It is iconic, but I have to admit anno 2021 it is actually, finally, starting showing signs of aging. My son wasn't too impressed nor terrified. Some of that is a legacy from our memories.
9

Demonic

Woman is asked to communicate with her comatose mother in a 'simulation', but awakens demonic evil in doing so

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-10-2021
6.5

Fresh, but should have been better

It's a nifty combination of tech, occult and horror and I liked it. It's just unfortunate that it failed to really make an impression or become really scary. Like the story required some more twists and layers, and should have 'aged' more before making the movie.
6.5

Velvett Buzzsaw

A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Too sterile to make me care

I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.
6.5

Cryptozoo

Animation about a zoo housing cryptoid creatures, bad people that want them dead and good people trying ot protect them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Great for it's uniqeness, but utlimately a flawed trip

I wanted to like this more, with it's bold ideas, pleasantly strange story and willful drawings. I can see how people describe it as beautiful, but I could also make the case that it can look pretty crude an amateuristic at times. Everyone also seems a bit high and slow, making me sleepy eyed.
6.5

Forbidden World

Astronout lands on a base where an alien experiment get out of hand

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
5

Didn't turn out to be a classic

I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.
5

Dune (2021)

Clans fight for control of planet Arrakis and it's resources, both with other clans and with the native inhabitans

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
8

What the word 'epic' was meant for

Wow, this was quite an epic experience on all accounts. Incredible spaceship designs, compelling imagery, great music and overall an enticing story. Very very tasteful. On the downside, the sterile environments and characters meant it had only a limited emotional impact and didn't really stick.
8

The Guilty

Police officer must do 911 operator work as a disciplinary measure, when he takes a call that will keep him up all night

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-10-2021
7

A decent but not perfect single-person, single-location flick

One of those risky movies shot on a single location with a single actor holding everything together. It works - it is a thrilling watch. It lacks, however the craftsmanship or plot to really make it bite your nails, and would have benefited from more realism and a more likable lead character.
7

Cruela

How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
6.5

Well made, just not much in here for me personally

This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.
6.5

I am Thinking of Ending Things

Woman takes a long roadtrip to meet her parents-in-law, but the jounrey and visit get darker and stranger as it goes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
7.5

A strange but tasty slowburner

A well-acted and mysterious flick that makes you sense something is wrong way before it is. It is slow and without a manual, but near the end you wind up so clueless that it leaves a slightly unrewarding feeling though.
7.5

Magellan

Astronaut on a lone mission to investigate signals suddenly coming from various locations in our solar system

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
4.5

Unable to compensate for the little resources it had

An irresistible story and some of the space graphics are not too bad. But they contrast starkly with the amateuristic 'interior' of the spaceship, and the bizarre procedures of the space flight and handling of possible alien artifacts (plastic bag?). I also missed a point or clue to any of it.
4.5

Prey

Some guys just about to finish a hike through the woods, are hunted down by someone with rifle

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
6

Needed more

The scenery is pretty, and the plain, no-nonsense execution gives it some purity. But it's hard to connect with the characters who are also having irrelevant work-related quarrels, and the plot is really a very thin succession of shot-flee-argue over and over. It misses some sort of twist or payoff.
6

Risen

Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
5.5

Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions

The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.
5.5

The Stairs

Boy and grandpa find stairs in the woods and go missing. Years later, a group of other hikers find them, unaged. And the stairs. And some demon.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021
3

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.
3

Exodus

After the rapture (apparently), a guy tries to find his way to a mysterious door to a better place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021
3

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.
3

A.I. Rising

For a long journey, a cosmonaut will be accompanied by a female android engineered to his taste

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
6.5

ok, but would have benefited greatly from better writing

With just a some fairly modest modifications in the dialogue and story line, such as more profound elements of philosophy, existentialism, psychology and perhaps some horror, this would have been great. As it stands though, it still is a decent sci-fi tale.
6.5

Ralph breaks the Internet

Guess where they're heading this time?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
7.5

As good as you could hope for

A fine sequel. I liked how the visualized the internet. It doesn't, however, manage to overcome the sequel curse and bring back the magical atmosphere, or the refined and diverse story line from the first part.
7.5

Alien Warfare

Specialforces team is scrambled to investigate what happened to some lab. (it was aliens!)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-08-2021
3.5

Almost abysmal

There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.
3.5

Free Guy

Backgroundcharacter in a game becomes self aware and fights for his existence with the help of some gamers

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-08-2021
7.5

Not for everyone, but definitely for some

You'll need some knowledge of contemporary gaming, the Youtube subculture, and mental preparation for a barrage of restless imagery and hysteric jokes. But if you manage all that, you'll find that it has it's heart at the right place, is enjoyable and sometimes a good laugh indeed.
7.5

Old

People trapped on a secluded beach get old very quickly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-08-2021
7

Attractive mystery let down by words and characters

I love Shyamalan's enticing and mysterious stories, as well as the way he floats the camera through them. So I will probably watch all of them, but unfortunately this one was let down by rather clunky dialogue, delivered unnaturally by odd characters. It felt like watching a play.
7

The Water Man

Boy travels into the woods to find the mysterious Water Man, for he may hold the key to healing his sick mother

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-08-2021
7

Pleasant and intimate modern fairytale

A pleasant modern day fairlytale with an intimate atmosphere and performances. Much more refined than big blockbusters, and the sickness is brought without sugarcoating. It's just that the twist at the end, although I can see the point of it, was somewhat abrupt and left me slightly unfulfilled.
7

Luca

Young sea monster like kid (mermaid?) secretly ventures above the surface where he finds new friends and adventures

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-08-2021
7.5

Just fine

A wholesome and warm feelgood movie that is hard to fault. The Italian setting and vibe is a nice extra touch which gives it some personality and validity. Can't say much bad about it really, although personally I would have liked a bit more edge and risk.
7.5

The Rebels of PT-218

During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
4

Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources

If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.
4

Bad Biology

Nymphomaniac with multiple clitori crosses path with a guy who's overgrown penis has a mind of it's own. Not porn. I think.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
6.5

Weird filth that does what it wants and I commend them for it

This was sort of rebellious and liberating in a way, but perhaps that's just because I watched too many generic and formulaic Hollywood movies lately. Sure it is bad, trashy and bizarre, but somehow it doesn't care and I sort of enjoyed the audacity of it.
6.5

Anon

In a future where everyone's vision is recorded, interpreted and exchangable, a detective tries to solve a murder by a hacker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2021
7

Decent but cold future crime story

With some interesting tech and sober atmosphere, it has a decent film noire crime-story atmosphere going on. But everything and everyone is so lifeless and emotionless that it left me slightly cold as well. Everyone constantly checking their readouts makes it quite static and sluggish, too.
7

Embrión

Attempts to tell a story about (mulitple?) people that went missing or weird after an alien encounter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2021
3

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.
3

Orbita 9

Woman on a long solo space mission gets a visit from a mechanic, after which she learns the true nature of her mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2021
6.5

Nice scifi with a twist. One twist - early on.

With a plotline that it's impossible to describe accurately without ruining it, this is a pleasant scifi done just fine. It's just that, after the big twist it's, sort of de-energizes a few notches. When the big reveal is almost at the beginning, it's harder to keep us hooked.
6.5

La Nuée

Woman can barely support her family with a grashopper farm, until she finds out they yield better when fed blood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2021
7

A sober animal horror that fails to push through

In a way, this is the eighties animal swarm horror movies re-imagined in a much more realistic, restrained and adult way. It works for the most part, but the same simple and slow atmosphere also had me yearning for some more excitement.
7

Tides aka The Colony

Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
6.5

Promising beginning, so-so rest

Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.
6.5

A Mother of No Destination

First, people that discover the immenent end of the world are hunted down, then the remaining people on a space ark are terrorized

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
2

Let's call it art

Listen, I really tried to look at this as a completely homemade, completely amateur movie, but even then I did not find any redeeming qualities. Maybe it's deliberately trying to be as bad as can be, so that it becomes art or intoxicating. I must admit I felt weird after watching it.
2

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