BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

Last Stand, The

Sherrif spents his last working days in a quite bordertown near Mexico, until an escaped criminal plans his escape route straight to it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2013

Solid

A somewhat uncomfortable mix of blood spills and goofy humor degrade this otherwise solid and gun fun action movie.
7

Iron Man 3

Iron man takes on a terrorist

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-10-2013

Iron mess

Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.
6

After Earth

After crashlanding on a hostile planet, a boy must embark on a dangerous journey to save himself and his father.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-10-2013

Decent scifi survival adventure

I thought it was an original and good looking adventure that kept me interested all the way.
7

White House Down

Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-10-2013

Quality goes down too

Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.
6

Only God Forgives

Drug dealer in Thailand gets caught up a bloody circle of revenge when his brother is killed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2013

Bloodred

Dark, bloody and mesmerizing movie that views like a comicbook, the way it slowly serves it's mostly static scenes one by one.
7.5

Upside Down

Two lovers, each on different but nearly touching planets with opposed gravities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2013

West Side Story turned on it's head

It's a wonderful movie with a big heart, but the lovestory in it just doesn't quite reach the same level as the visuals and original ideas.
7

Paranormal Whacktivity

Sexually frustrated couple is haunted by ghost (also sexually frustrated)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-10-2013

A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad

Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.
3.5

Skyline

Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013

Good looking B movie

An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?
6.5

Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass), The

Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013

Too much mysteries

Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".
6.5

Skyfall

This time it's an inside job aiming for M and MI6 headquarters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-11-2013

Dark Bond

A solid, slick and quite dark episode. Something remains, however, that keeps Bond films from rising above being good.
7.5

TrollHunter

Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2013

Could have been much better if we believed in any of this

The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.
6.5

Last Days on Mars, The

Mars mission is about to wrap up, when they find something in the rocks....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013

So close to being great

This would have been a bomb if it had a more original, imaginative story. Now it's just a good, quite scary and beautiful looking movie.
7

Scary Movie V

Spoofs, mostly about Mama and Paranormal Activity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.
3

Human Centipede

Man makes a human centipede by stitching people together ass-to-mouth. No really, he does.
average 6.8

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-11-2013

Still feeling slightly nauseous....

Although it has been quite some time since I actually watched this movie, I still get an awkward feeling remembering the gross scenes. Which is, on the other hand, rather impressive since I do not associate many movies with such enduring and intense (negative) emotions....
6.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2013

A horrendous but lasting experience

Effortlessly falls into the category: why the hell did they make this... and why the hell am I watching this? Painful, vulgar and almost unbearable to watch. But I remember it better than the average multimilliondollar super FX movie that I have seen lately.
7

Elysium

Man fights his way up to a spacehaven for the wealthy, so he can get cured from a disease.
average 8.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-11-2013

Action packed scifi

This movie adds a whole new dimension to the term bullet time (great scene on how to shoot up robots for dummies). The story line is somewhat overly dramatic at times, but man... the action and visuals are impressive!
8

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2013

A very intense, thick a great looking science fiction action flick.

A treat for action scifi enthusiasts. Wonderful designs, fine acting, cool robots and ships and a high paced adrenaline story.
8.5

Wolverine, The

Wolverine visits an dying admirer in Japan, but gets caught up in evil plans (and ninja's)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-12-2013

Grumpiness in Japan

It's not bad, but it is let down by too many slow scenes, a constantly grumpy staring Wolverine (yes we get it, he is a lonesome tormented hero!) and a story that feels like you have seen it many times before.
6.5

Man of Steel

Superman can no longer remain hidden when Zod arrives on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-12-2013

Superman remains tough to beat, and tough to make a good film out of

They have given him some worthy adversaries other than kryptonite, resulting in some really smashing showdowns. But the storytelling is messy, and Hollywood still doesn't realize that an overdose of fast, blurry and over the top destruction only leaves viewers bored and cut off from the movie.
7

Casablanca

World war II, boy meets girl (again), Germans doing their bad-ass stuff, self-sacrifice and true love

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
07-12-2013

Perfect movie for a sentimental mood

Obviously this movie is a classic according to 95% of the world population, but until today I never seemed to be in the right mood to actually start watching it. The first minutes it felt somewhat dated, but soon I was fully drawn into the story. Overall an immersive experience, a classic indeed!
9

Kapringen

The negotiations that follow after a ship is hijacked by modernday pirates

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-12-2013

Strength by purity

Very well played and realistically shot drama, that cleverly switches between the cold, calculated negotiations and the sweaty, messy situation on the ship. It disposes of all ornaments, which makes it a honest if not somewhat sterile experience.
7.5

Kick-ass 2

The normal superhero joins a group of fellow citizin-heros and gets back into action

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2013

You may not get it

It is hard to connect with this strange mixture of crazy outfits, ridiculous people, bizarre plot, lessons in life and bloody violence. But once I did - way into the movie - I started to laugh and was quite entertained.
7

Machete Kills

Even the government needs Machete

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2013

Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.

I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.
6.5

Free Birds

Turkeys travel back in time to wipe their species from thanksgiving menu forever

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2013

Somehow it didn't really work.

It's a vibrant, original, good looking adventure with plenty of good jokes... yet still it doesn't quite take off. Something flat and distant remains, and maybe relating to turkeys in a time machine is just a bit too much to ask.
6.5

Croods, The

Caveman family must explore new grounds in order to survive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013

Great prehistoric graphics and fun

Not overly successful in setting up characters you start to love, but beautifully rendered, quite exciting and good for a few laughs. I deduction half a point because it failed to make a lasting impression on my kids.
7

Dark Shadows

Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013

Surprisingly boring

Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.
6

Cottage Country

When an idiot brother is about to ruin a romatic weekend of two lovers, one bloody accident leads to another

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013

A naughtly mixture of humor and bloody murder

Successfully plays out comedy and murder throughout the movie in an unusual but successful cocktail.
7

Olympus has Fallen

Terrorists take over whitehouse, fallen security agent comes to the rescue

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2014

The same old mistakes

A dark atmosphere and some hefty gung-ho warfare could have made this intense, were it not for the inevitable patriotism and flag waving, annoying Hollywood plot conveniences and stereotype terrorists (oh come on - nuclear launch codes, again?).
7

Bad Milo

When people agitate this man, a demon comes out of his ass and eats them. No Shit.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2014

Naughty and pleasantly bizarre

but the constant rectal suffering could make you nauseous.
7

Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, The

Hobbits reach the mountain and Bilbo confronts the dragon

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-01-2014

Beautiful failure

You have to admire the sheer beauty and magnitude of this spectacle. But there is also a feeling of disappointment, as I cannot really get into this movie, feel for any of the characters, appreciate the campy slapstick action or take in the wash of special effects.
7

2 Guns

Two undercovers get into a corrupt mess and need each other to fight their way out again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2014

Solid chemistry but forgetable

A solid action comedy with good chemistry between the main players. It lacks standout moments though, I have already forgotten this movie.
7

We're the Millers

Smalltime drugdealer assembles a fake family as a coverup during a drug transfer in mexico
average 7.0

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
06-01-2014

Easy-going uncomplicated comedy

Original jokes, more than the occasional laugh, and Jennifer Anniston doing lap dances, what else could you possibly want from a movie nowadays?
7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2013

A feelgood wih a bite

Funny actors, deliciously embarrassing moments and some wicked jokes easily lift this feelgood movie above average.
7

Gravity

When a spacewalk goes terribly wrong, astronauts need to find a way home
average 9.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
11-01-2014

Completely blown away (even in 2D)!

Seeing is believing, incredible experience!
9

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-10-2013

Breathtaking

Gorgeous visuals, breathtaking story and cinematics. Stunning.
9.5

Cosmopolis

During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014

Mindbending by chit chat

I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.
6.5

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When almost all GI Joe's are taken out, it's up to the remaining 3 Joe's to save he world and restore the team.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014

Succesfull action silliness for adults

Sure it's over the top silly. But there's something right about this movie. It doesn't claim to be more than it is, some of the action is just plain cool, and it has the right amount of violence and gloominess to prevent you from feeling like you're watching PowerRangers.
7

American Hustle

Con man and con woman doing a lot of conning, with Feds, politicians and mobsters involved

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
17-01-2014

Great acting in a movie filled with conning

Conning, trickery, treason and seduction with a thin layer of comedy showing through occasionally, in a balanced movie with great acting by the main characters
8

Expendables 2, The

A simple recovery job quickly turns into something big for the Hollywood A-team of self proclaimed dinosaurs

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-01-2014

Guilty pleasure

I liked it. Brutal, dumb, heavy duty action with some laughs thrown in.
7

Wolf of Wall Street, The

Fraudulent stock broker for whom the sky seems the limit eventually loses his family and fortune

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
21-01-2014

Convincing view on Wall Street life to the extreme

Memorable movie that provides a surprising but convincing view on the extreme life style of the (hopefully) atypical stock broker Jordan Belfort. At times it is difficult not to like the main character, while at the same time feelings of disgust may surface as well. Worth the 3 hour watch!
8.5

Spectacular Now, The

About adolescents and the challenges and choices they have to face during the process of growing up

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-01-2014

How to deal with adolescent hardships (in a non-comic way)

No action or comedy flick, but a nice movie when you are in the right mood for an insightful trip into the world of adolescents and the challenges they have to face. Key words: future plans and careers, (badly ending) relationships, and alcohol abuse (to name just a few we all know so well ;) )
7

Colony, The

Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-01-2014

Frozen B-movie

The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.
6.5

Frozen

A princess has to save her sister the queen, who has uncontrollable magical freezing abilities and brought disaster to her kingdom.
average 8.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2014

Already a classic

A gem. Loaded with great moments, beautiful songs, heartfelt emotion and it looks stunning. My boys ranked it number one, despite their general disapproval of anything princes-related.
8.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
15-01-2014

Beautifully animated modern fairytale

This one has the whole package: incredible graphics, lovable characters and convincing storytelling. Though I am not a big fan of main characters singing in movies like this, it did not disturb me too much....
8.5

Movie 43

Teenagers scout the internet for a movie that doesn't exist, taking them through various bizarre movies as they go

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2014

fascinatingly unfunny

In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.
4.5

Dallas buyers club, The

A macho man with hiv (illegally) starts selling alternative medication to help fellow hiv sufferers

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-01-2014

And the oscar for actor in a leading role goes to....

Great indepth acting by McConaughey (who apparently also did some serious preparation by not eating much during the preceding year) , in a compelling movie based on a true story. Oscar winning material!
8.5

12 years a slave

Another movie on slavery

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-01-2014

An African American living in New york is kidnapped and sold as slave

Based on a true story addressing the gruesome consequences of slavery in the southern states of mid 19th century America. Although I can appreciate this movie and the message it portrays, there are other movies on this topic that I find more memorable.
7

Internship, The

With no relevant skills, two sacked salesmen enlist for an internship at Google.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2014

404 humor not found

Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.
3.5

Philomena

A journalist and an elderly lady are on a quest to find her son who she had to give up for adoption fifty years ago

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
09-02-2014

Light hearted drama that is actually worth a watch

Sympathetic movie with a touching story based on true events (including the dubious role of the catholic church in child adoptions in Ireland), and very convincing acting by Judi Dench. Ideal movie for men who want to show their partner they actually have a sensitive side as well....
7.5

Iron Sky

Not realizing the war is over, the nazis on the dark side of the moon are preparing an invasion of earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2014

They should have gone crazier

Smart ideas and very smart looks, but ultimately it lacks the inspiration to really succeed as either a comedy or action adventure. A b-ish flavour remains. They should have gone whack.
6.5

All Is Lost

Solo sailer tries to survive when his ship is rammed by an adrift sea container.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-02-2014

Intimate and gripping

Very good and very close portrait of a man struggling against all odds. The absence of dialogue is mesmerizing and effective. I felt guilty opening a beer while watching this. I think that's a good sign (but I still opened one nonetheless).
8

Riddick

After being left for dead on a hostile planet, a ship full of mercenaries is Riddicks's only way off the planet

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2014

A B-movie in disguise

Non-stop pretty, but also painfully slow, tedious and full of uninspired really poor dialogue. They are too eager to portray Riddick as a mysterious, ubercool, enigmatic hero, instead turning him into an unsympathetic showoff.
4.5

Lego Movie

The insignificant life of a lego nobody turns on it's head when he is the chosen one to act against evil plans that threaten lego world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-02-2014

Fantastic frantic

Could have gone wrong in many ways, but did not. Loaded to the brim with action, jokes, fantastic visuals and brilliant 'real' animation. I did think it was a little to nervous and restless, and overcomplicated for kids to follow comfortably.
8

Heat, The

Uptight FBI agent must work with streetsmart cop - both females this time.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2014

as is

The feminine variation on the buddy-cop theme gives it a slight edge over the expected experience: funny but not hilarious, entertaining but not engrossing, good but not great.
7

Lone survivor, The

A mission in Afghanistan by American navy seals goes awfully wrong
average 7.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-02-2014

Okay these guys are tough

As these men are battered & bruised, smashed against rocks, cornered and shot, the increasing dread of death and hopelessness comes across very well. Intense movie that stuck for a while.
8

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
05-02-2014

Shoot 'em up between navy seals and taliban

Main part of the movie consists of Americans and Taliban chasing, shooting, injuring and killing eachother. Apparently a navy seal can sustain more injury than Iron Man ("is there a bullet in my head?"). Overall an okay movie for those of us not easily scared by bloody scenes.
6.5

Movies found: 804 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 51 - 100

Previous Next