BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

The Hallow

A couple movies to a secluded house in Ireland for forest research, but awaken the stuff from local folklore lurking in the woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-06-2022
7

A fine horror that manages to set itself apart

Although it does not offer anything radically new - but which horror does - the intimate atmosphere, the genuine characters and a tendency towards true tension over cheap jump scares (of which there are some), make it a worthwhile little horror. But geez, go easy on the cute baby sounds.
7

Tokyo Gore Police

A special police officer is on an assigment to take care evil modified humans, which involves a lot of bloodshed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
7

Entertaining blood fountains

For the most part I was very entertained by the bizarre atmosphere and blood fountains. It's a nice doze of insanity that is so over the top you can enjoy without remorse. After a while though, it did get a bit pointless and clueless.
7

Seeking a friend for the end of the world

With a few days remaining before a world apocalypse, two people go on a roadtrip to pursue their last wishes.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2013
7

The end of the world should have been nicer

Good to see people preparing for the end of the world in a reasonably calm and peaceful fashion for once. Starts of great, but then sort of loses it's pace and is neither witty or dramatic enough to really keep interest. I couldn't really attach to either of the main characters or their supposed relationship.
7

Into the Heart of the Sea

The 'true' story of Moby Dick, of whale hunters becoming hunted by a whale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
7

Well made but not engaging enough

It has a nice look and feel to it, and it was clearly made with much love and dedication. But these grumpy and dirty men harpooning whales were hardly sympathetic, so their misfortune was hardly engaging. The thick arty layers of unnatural colors take away a sense or realism too.
7

Brain Dead / Dead Alive

An exotic rat bite turn the dead into zombies. An dorky man and his girlfriend fight them with all their might.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
7

A classic, but has lost some impact over the years

It reached new levels of splatter-gore when it came out, and it still is quite a bloodbath today. The humorous tone helps to make the somewhat campy effects acceptable, but prevents it from becoming really scary or gross.
7

Malignant

After the brutal death of her husband, a woman starts to experience equally brutal murders in other people's homes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
7

Uninspired horror saved by a pretty cool twist

For the first half I was just sad, fearing that James Wan has nothing more to offer than formulaic cliches and boring movie characters. And while this IS a big problem of this movie, I have to say the reveal/plot twist was great, put things on it's head and managed to redeem some of the movie.
7

Pacific Rim

To combat giant monsters from the sea, mankind built equally giant robots. Really GIANT.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-08-2013
7

Also a ferocious battle between great CGI and a great movie

Even a spectacle of this caliber, with such magnificent visuals, still would need a better story and characters to leave a lasting impression and score higher. But the dumb 'n fun factor sort of works here.
7

What We Do in the Shadows

Mockumentary about group of vampires trying to get by in daily life

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2015
7

Funny and unique

A sassy movie with a nice sense of humor a great atmosphere. Could have used some killer jokes though.
7

The Red Turtle

Adult animation about a man stranded on an island, and his attempts to escape appearantly being blocked by a large turtle.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2020
7

Beautiful and intriguing animation

Drawn in a beautiful minimalist but expressive style, tastefully flavored with some supernatural elements and manages to make you curious even if nothing is being said. That's quite something, even if the open ended nature felt a little easy to me.
7

Greenland

With comets heading for earth, a family tries to make their way to a shelter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-07-2021
7

Decent, restrained disaster

While it doesn't set out new frontiers in disaster movies, I thought it was a pretty good one. It kept us hooked, it doesn't have overly complicated stunts and escapes, and it conveys a message that is such situations, the comets are hardly the biggest problem.
7

Pi

A man obsessed with numbers looses his mind where he tries to find patterns in both the stock exchange and the Tora

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2024
7

A pleasant fix of gloomy weirdness

I wonder if it's just because of the black and white that it reminded me of Eraserhead? Or was it also the sweaty claustrophobic cinematography, the insanity and otherworldlyness of it all? Who knows. It's a cult niche thing, but a worthy one for sure.
7

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

One man can claim the magic sword and challenge the evil king

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2018
7

Watch out for splinters

At times a majestic and grandiose movie that definitely has it's moments, but also has some distracting dissonants like the weird fast paced conversations and inconsistent character of Arthur himself. Sometimes he was sincere, sometimes a goofball. It failed to latch on, already I am forgetting it.
7

Hunter Killer

American submarine is sent to rescue the Russian president... without starting a world war

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2019
7

Decent macho stuff

It tries a little too hard to be macho and has everyone talking in super tough guy one liners... all at the expense of realism and true tension. But what's left is still an entertaining, action-packed submarine movie for us to jerk off to the glorious American military.
7

Nekromantik

Couple has a fascination for collecting bodyparts, but when he brings an entire corps to have sex with, it puts their relationship to the test

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-07-2022
7

Unpleasant but enticing curiosity

It is made poorly and looks amateuristic, but the sight of someone licking the eye-socket of a decayed corpse still makes this have an impact way bigger than it's budget would have you believe. Vile and uncomfortable, but also unique, brave and an interesting niche product to have experienced. Once.
7

Lifeforce

Space mission takes samples from inside a mysterious space derelict, but brings home terror doing so. Space vampires, no less!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
7

Entertaining mix of nonsense

Back from when actors were ugly and sweaty, and people were interrogated by slapping them in the face, comes this remarkable mix of scifi, horror, zombie-outbreak and soft erotica. And it's remarkably entertaining at that.
7

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When almost all GI Joe's are taken out, it's up to the remaining 3 Joe's to save he world and restore the team.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
7

Succesfull action silliness for adults

Sure it's over the top silly. But there's something right about this movie. It doesn't claim to be more than it is, some of the action is just plain cool, and it has the right amount of violence and gloominess to prevent you from feeling like you're watching PowerRangers.
7

Alien: Covenant

A colonial spaceship decides to do an unscheduled stop at an unknown, potentially habitable, planet when they pick up broadcast from it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2017
7

Another great alien movie that is also a huge disappointment

It still manages to shock and awe with intense alien encounters en space tech porn. But the more it wants to elaborate on the story and origins of the creature, the more it destroys. I wish I had never seen a live engineer - the single dead one was 100x more intriguing.
7

Contracted

After a onenightstand, a woman's body starts decaying rapidly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
7

A decent little shocker

Overall, the woman's decay is shocking enough and wasn't overdone. Her struggle with it, and the oddly apathetic reaction of the people around her, adds to feeling of isolation and helplessness. The story is a little straightforward though, hardly going anywhere.
7

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Again, a terminator comes back in time to secure the future. Again, he is hunted down by an advanced terminator model

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
7

A lesser but stilll adequate episode

Not as epic and overwhelming as the preceding parts, in part because of the rather dull main characters. Still, there's plenty of Terminator goodness in here to have a good time. Average actionmovies back then still were more fun than the soulless fx bonanzas we get nowadays.
7

The Last Stand

Sherrif spents his last working days in a quite bordertown near Mexico, until an escaped criminal plans his escape route straight to it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2013
7

Solid

A somewhat uncomfortable mix of blood spills and goofy humor degrade this otherwise solid and gun fun action movie.
7

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities

A bunch of horror stories

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-01-2023
7

Fun, not terrifying, dark tales for adults

While some of these stories can get quite gruesome - there's a lot of full frontal decaying corpses - the overall atmosphere is more akin towards mystery and dark fairy tales for adults, in terms of style and music. Two I found rather weak, but rest of them quite enjoyable.
7

Gun Woman

A crippled man turns a meth woman into an assassin to avenge his past. Now - where to hide to gun?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-09-2015
7

A bizarre and painfull plan. But will it work?

A rather sad movie with a lot of blood, suffering and necrophilia that provides an uncomfortable watch. The gun woman, however, does manage to drag you into the story, and make you anxious to see whether it all works out as planned.
7

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Sentinels threaten the existence of the mutants, so they sent Wolverine back in time to prevent them from ever being built. Sort of like that one movie.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2014
7

Freaks!

Smooth, sparkling and good looking entertainment. But these mutants and their adventures are stereotypes by definition, that won't lock in emotionally. I also thought Wolverine was out of place as the sensible mediator trying to get people to change their ways.
7

The Dive

Two sister go on a dive at a remote site. One of them gets stuck.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-09-2023
7

Pretty and suspenseful

For a while I was skeptical whether I would care enough about these girls, or seeing them struggle around the single plotpoint for an entire movie. Turns out I did. It looks great and becomes quite a nail biter indeed. It's also quite savvy about diving equipment and procedures, adding to realism.
7

Marionette

Psychiatrist moves to Schotland after a trauma, but her new patient appears to be predicting the future with drawings

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2020
7

slightly dull but ultimately satisfying

It's starts a bit pale in terms of colors, performances and pace, but certainly interesting enough to keep you aboard. Then it goes quite deep in terms of layers and plottwist, yielding a rewarding and fulfilling experience for sure.
7

The Farm

Couple on a roadtrip ends up at a farm where they are treated like animals

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2023
7

Unpleasantly piercing you conscience, but as a horroflick a bit thin

Seeing humans being treated like animals is quite a clever move, because it is shocking and vile, yet you can't fully condemn it because we treat animals this way too. It gives an unpleasant feeling. Too bad the move has little more to offer. Still, I suggest part II - the abattoir could be huge.
7

Chosen

Girl in a sleepy Danish town meets people who investigate the truth behind a comet that landed ther a long time ago

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-05-2023
7

A sweet mystery

You tend to get this Goonie's adventure vibe when youngsters go on a secret mission, and here we get Danish serenity on top of it. It's a sweet mystery, even if things can get quite unlikely at times, and the main character is not very likable. That space costume looked 70 years too late.
7

Stowaway

When a mars mission equiped for a crew of three has a crew of four

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2021
7

Interesting and focussed, but a bit mellow

It brings down the story to the essence, features fine design and actors, and certainly had us entertained. But the big finale seems a bit cumbersome and unlikely, and part of me thought the impossible ethical decisions could have been more heart wrenching, and tension more nail-biting.
7

Anon

In a future where everyone's vision is recorded, interpreted and exchangable, a detective tries to solve a murder by a hacker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2021
7

Decent but cold future crime story

With some interesting tech and sober atmosphere, it has a decent film noire crime-story atmosphere going on. But everything and everyone is so lifeless and emotionless that it left me slightly cold as well. Everyone constantly checking their readouts makes it quite static and sluggish, too.
7

Overlord

A ww2 squad lands into German-occupied France to blow up a tower, but encounter dark occult nazi experiments on their way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2019
7

Meaty mix

A mixture of war, action and horror, delivering a meaty and enjoyable watch. It is, however, not super exciting nor super scary, and it is let down by some cliches and annoying characters, especially that damn kid.
7

12 years a slave

Another movie on slavery

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-01-2014
7

An African American living in New york is kidnapped and sold as slave

Based on a true story addressing the gruesome consequences of slavery in the southern states of mid 19th century America. Although I can appreciate this movie and the message it portrays, there are other movies on this topic that I find more memorable.
7

Side effects

After prescribing one betablocker too many, things go bad for both the psyhiatrist and the patient.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-08-2013
7

Far-fetched plots also have side effects

Good, but as the story becomes more and more unbelievable, your involvement in this movie wears off.
7

The Wind

On a desolate prairy, a woman starts seeing things when new neigbours arrive, but especially because of the endless winds haunting the fields

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2020
7

Good but very slow

Overall it is a fine, nicely shot and very moody mystery-horror. But I have to say it is taking the 'slow burning' up to rather extreme lengths, up until the point it almost it standing still and they somewhat loose the tension curve.
7

Based on a True Story

A writer with writers' block and pending depression meets a new friend that helps her get through, but how deep can she interfere?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2023
7

A fine psychological drama but nothing spectacular

This movie was quite a departure from my usual scifi and horror picks, but I have to say it kept my interest all the way. This is mainly because of the strong lead actresses, and a subtle anxiety woven through the story. But a little bit more spice would have been welcome for me.
7

Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle

Space colonists try to defeat Godzilla by luring him to the mechzilla facility

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
7

A somewhat mellow but fine chapter in this series

It really is an in-between movie without a convincing climax, and with less tension and mystery than its predecessor. But is also retrains enough of the unique style and excitement to make it worthwhile.
7

Child of God

A senile outcast, forced to live in the woods, discovers a sinister way to ease his sexual cravings

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
7

Disturbing. Good.

An uncomfortable, disturbing, taboo shattering movie that nevertheless remains gripping and within tolerance levels. It even manages to evoke some level of empathy for the outcast.
7

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

No point in describing this any other way than: the finale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2020
7

Perfectly unimpressive

What a perfect Starwars movie. It has everything you could possibly want, done in a tasteful and beautiful manner. Yet I walk out the theater feeling indifferent, numb and with no desire to discuss, read up, rethink or relive any of it. I wonder if it's just fatigue, or something more fundamental
7

El Hoyo

A prison (?) features a platform with food that is lowered across hundreds of floors each day. Will the upperfloors leave enough for the ones below?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2021
7

Not pleasant but rewarding in the end

It is a bit filthy and unpleasant by it's very nature, and I wasn't sure if wanted to experience this in it's entirety. Turns out I did. I became curious to find out how it ends and how it came to be. It's probably also a wise (but optional) lesson about humanity and 'spontaneous socialism'.
7

Monolith

The host of a radioshow about the unexplained, picks up on a story about mysterious black bricks - a story that comes close to her as well.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-03-2024
7

A decent single location mystery

A risky movie, featuring mostly a single person in a single location, but I thought it succeeded pretty well in setting up an interesting mystery puzzler, with a dash of scifi. There was room for some more intricacies if you ask me, but all in all good job.
7

Sing

In an animal world, a koala arranges a singing contest talent show

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-12-2016
7

Delightful

A delightful movie with great music tracks and characters that will steal your heart. I did feel that the story could have used some more details, and they could have had some more fun with using odd animal species rather than the obvious choices seen here (monkeys, pigs, elephant).
7

Mosul

Young police officer joins swat team fighting ISIS

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2020
7

A raw, unpolished war story

There is something very loose about the story and directing, giving it a docu like atmosphere as you observe these brave guys like a fly on the wall. It also meant I was not over involved with them either, but it's a good watch nonetheless.
7

Delete

A woman and her secret lover get hold of a device that makes people disappear

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2023
7

ok mystery, but sluggish and slightly dull

Mostly a fine mystery and crime story, that adds some layers as we learn more about how the device works. But like many series, it can be very sluggish, almost as if it is struggling to fill up 8 episodes. Most actors are kind of flat, too.
7

Lights Out

Family terrorized by an entity that only appears in the dark

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-04-2017
7

Nice gimmick in an ok horror

I love the thing they do with dark and light, but it's not enough to compensate for the over familiar story, characters and performances - which prevent it from becoming truly scary. A fine horror though.
7

Danger Close

Australian soliders fight for their lives in Vietman during the battle for Long Tan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2021
7

A good war movie that's missing out on some areas

I am always reluctant to complain when a movie sets out to depict and respect true war events, but while it certainly is and engrossing and genuine movie, some part of it felt of. Unlikely dialogue, oddly undisciplined soldiers and a major who's personality is allover the place.
7

Bird Box Barcelona

A man and his daughter are trying to survive in a half-blind world, where seeing creatures means instant suicide

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
7

A fair addition to the tale

My compliments for staying true to the concept, yet finding a story from a new viewpoint, instead of just doing the same movie again (in Barcelona). Overall, it is a pretty tense and entertaining movie, even if it slightly dozes off during the bits between the action.
7

Dark City

Man wakes up in a city where the sun never seems to shine, is suspect of murder and he is hunted down by mysterious men

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-02-2022
7

A decent sci-fi-noire puzzler, but without real impact

The blend of film noir, sci-fi and mystery is my cup of tea, and I did enjoy it. But it also felt dated, it never was really scary or intense, and there was something almost childish and artificial about it. It somehow struck me as a clip they play to set the mood for a roller-coaster ride.
7

Logan

Wolferine is old and tired, rather be driving around for Uber than protecting this mysterious girl that crosses his path

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
7

Intense and different, but not necessarily likable

I can appreciate the grime atmosphere and action instead of the ridiculous and hollow bubbly colors of most superhero movies. But is does mean that there is hardly anyone to like in this movie, nor is Charles as a needy and deteriorating man any fun to watch.
7

The Plagues of Breslau

Female detective on a case of horrific murders, each copying an execution method of the 18th century

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2020
7

A fair Se7en clone

The story, of course, is somewhat similar to Se7en, but the atmosphere is different and not as dark en depressing. I thought it was okay, but it can be illogical at times, the detectives' flat, emotionless personality wasn't helping and the version I saw was let down by subpar english voiceovers.
7

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman decides to leave the secluded live with the amazones and help out in the human world war, thinking that war God Ares is behind it all

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-02-2018
7

Better than other superhero movies but still not very exciting

I liked this better than most superhero movies. It looks crisp, some of the fighting is nicely choreographed and shot, characters are sort of likeable and it isn't as hysteric or over the top as the others. But like most superhero movies, it struggles to reach deeper or really leave an impression.
7

The Terminator

In the future, killer robotmachines rule, and send a terminator cyborg back to the presents prevent prevent the human rebellion leader from ever being born.
average 7.0

robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
5

Not bad for such a wuzz

It lacks soul like i have. In the end, it is human decision making that settles things.
5

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
01-02-2013
7

Could have been better meow

This movie needed more latex I could have privided, as well as more meow. Anywway this review is a bit on the long side for testing purposes.
7

Show previous reviews Hide previous reviews
Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-01-2013
9

The definition of cyborg

This movie not only is still the final word in cyborgs, it also demonstrated how such a movie could be genuinly exciting and intellegent.
9

Movies found: 1046 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 451 - 500

Previous Next