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V/H/S aka VHS

A collection of stories, glued together by a horry story, involving various videorecordings of horrific events .Though not all on VHS it seems.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-12-2017

Loud noise but plenty to make up for it

The hard, restless cuts and loud music can be a bit much, but I did think they have a unique mood going on, there are enough memorable shock moments. And what really struck me was the natural and believable acting throughout, which made the entirely adolescent cast bearable for once.
7.5

Climax

Party with dancers goes haywire when all of them appear to be drugged by something causing really bad trips

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-03-2022

Masochism

All the dancing in the beginning was almost too much for me, but slowly the Gaspar Noé camerawork, shocks and nausea unfold, making this an intense and courageous 'experimental horror' indeed. I am beginning to think watching this kind of stuff could be a form of masochism.
7.5

The Call

Woman gets a call from a woman living in the past. Friends at first, they end up hunting each other in different times

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2021

A well executed idea

A great idea that is played out interestingly and excitingly without overdoing it. Some horror, some thriller and smart tricks with time. I couldn't ask for more.
7.5

Benedetta

Nun in Monastry developes sexual feelings for another nun. And stigmata, too.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-12-2021

The mix works

Lesbians nuns would seem like a recipe for disaster, but I don't think it is. The mystery of her divinity and stigmata is interesting enough, the religious habits give it some weight, the supernatural elements give it some spice, and well - it can be sort of erotic. Interesting package deal.
7.5

The Visit

Brother and sister document their first a visit to their grandparents. Including what happens with them after 21:30.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2016

Evolves into something good

What starts of somewhat doubtfully as yet more mockumentary by cute rapping teenagers, gradually evolves into a rather dark, vile, nasty and scary movie indeed. It's slow pacing and lack of gore/fx only make it stronger.
7.5

Triangle

Shipwrecked friends climb onto a passing ship, but it is hardly an improvement....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2015

An great story, executed slightly dull

Direction and performances are a bit uninspired, contrasting with a really nifty and clever story that keeps your attention all the way. Even my wife stayed awake for this one.
7.5

T-34

A Russian ace tank commander is captured by the germans, but gets a unique opportunity to escape. With a tank, of course.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2020

Tank porn. It exists.

A rather bold action flick showing loads of tanks with super slowmo shell penetrations and sweaty screaming Russians. I feared it was more of a videoclip than a movie, but the story catches up and makes it worthwhile and quite exciting indeed. Perfect for tank aficionados like me.
7.5

Midnight Mass

A new priest comes to a small island with a deeply christian community. Alongside miracles, he brings something more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021

Reli horror story with pleny of class (and monologues)

Very atmospheric, with a calm but steady pace, a slow but addictive built-up of mystery and loads of interesting characters. Many tend to talk in long, long, monologues which impresses at first, then starts to feel unnatural, then slowly become too much and even get in the way of the finale.
7.5

American Sniper

About the 'legend' sniper who killed over 160 people in Iraq missions

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2015

Very good war movie, even moreso if you like Texan cowboydreams.

I wasn't too keen on the Texas-cowboy-American-hunt-with-your-son-patriot-there's-always-vacant-pretty-girl-just-sitting-at-the-bar elements. Not overly successful as a war commentary either. As a war movie though, is filmed with class, sincerity and restraint and hits hard.
7.5

Underwater

People have to find their way up to the surface when something assaults and crumbles an underwater station

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2020

Not much new but still good underwater thrills

This was unexpectedly solid in fact. Not much wrong with the underwater and alien excitement at all. It is let down by the rather linear story with no real surprises, and looses an entire point for awful appearance of Stewart. God I wish she looked like she did in Camp X-ray in this.
7.5

The Secret Life of Pets

When humans leave their pets at home during work, the pets start their second live and embark on an adventure

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2016

Fun and heartwarming

Another original, joyful, colorful and funny animation that is hard to fault. Pet owners will get some extra laughs out of the recognizable pet quirks shown. These animation movies are constantly of such a high quality that they will have to come up with something new to stand out.
7.5

The Conjuring 2

A haunted house, based on a true story

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2017

Very fine horror that is just a bit too long

A good horror that impress with plenty of scares accentuated by great camerawork, and refrains from too much cheap jump scares. Like it's predecessor though, I thought it went on for too long so my 'get scared' supply ran out and I was just taking it in. Too bad.
7.5

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence

An investigation into pleasure robots that start to kill their owners

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-06-2018

Not for everyone, but a joy for some

Once again it will test your endurance for coping with long, poetic, endless metaphors and contemplations about technology. And once again it will reward you with a fabulous combination of drawn and CGI graphics and a fascinating atmosphere. A bit too low an action maybe, but worth it.
7.5

Raya and the Last Dragon

A girl sets out the unite a divided nation, but needs to revive the last Chinese dragon to do so

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-03-2021

A sweet adventure with some new and some familiar stuff

A competent, colorful and quite exciting adventure. I liked how the appearance and behavior of the dragon wasn't 're-imagined' and stays close to the Chinese originals (even if they somewhat resemble Little Pony's®). The humor and inevitable morals in the story are a bit much, but ok.
7.5

Tomorrowland aka Project T

A rebelious teenage girl is the chosen one to glimpse into a future world - and save it too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2015

Gorgeous but Disney

For younsters, this is a splendid and exciting space adventure with a great spirit. Grumpy old men like me need to deal additionally with the miles thick morals, and the over-smart main character and her indifference towards the amazing things she encounters.
7.5

Skyscraper

Man is going to save his family from the highest skycraper in the word. On fire. With one leg. With crooks inside.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019

The fun to be had!

No doubt we could make a long list of things that are dumb or preposterous about this movie. But I thought they nailed that lovely vibe of action-disaster movies of yesteryear, and I honestly can't think of a recent movie that made me enjoy myself and sit on the edge of my seat like this one!
7.5

Rogue One

How the rebels stole the plans for the Death Star

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-12-2016

Staying loyal to the franchise has it's drawbacks

Despite exquisite action scenes and many memorable Starwars moments, something felt tired. How many dramatic Vader entrances must I care for? How many nameless (and still incompetent) stormtroopers killed? How many shields disabled just in time? How much dangling in high shafts?
7.5

Baskin

Turkish movie about a police squad ending up in a devilish mansion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-04-2018

Original, effective and hellish

While the actors may not be very likable, at least their character are unique and distinct, and we are given the time to get to know them. The finale is truly hellish, the atmosphere is ominous and there's some interesting stuff going on in the time line as well.
7.5

The Sadness

Boy tries to find his grilfriend, as the town is overun by a virus that turns people into violent, sadistic, sex-hungry zombies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2022

A painful but highly amusing take on the zombie genre

The gore is quite shocking, but it is a welcome take on zombies (although technically I don't think they are dead?). It worked for me - I was amused, appalled and quite into it. The ending features slower, deeper contemplations instead of a bloody grand finale; courageous if not a bit anticlimactic.
7.5

The Raid 2

Martial-arts wonderboy goes undercover to infiltrate the local mafia and gets involved in quite a bit of brawls and the powerstruggle between and within clans

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2015

Ouch

Loaded with an insane amount of painful fighting, with faces cracked and banged against walls, bones snapped, and knives, hammers and bats smashing and hacking away. It gets you nauseous and uncomfortable. But my my, it is also expertly choreographed and shot.
7.5

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

The IMF team, suspended by the government, still carry on to take down a secret terror organisation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2015

Another solid episode

As always, these movies guarantee plenty of really solid slick and tense action. This one starts to lean towards a James Bond vibe, skimping on the outrageous impossible stunts. It's still fab, as long as you can take in the endless layers of "HAHA it was all part of some amazing plan!"
7.5

Short Peace

4 short anime tales

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2021

Puts some full-length anime's to shame

While they are too short to really have an impact, I quiet enjoyed these original and beautifully drawn anime's. They are a big step up from the usual, similar looking and sounding anime stuff and I am ready for more!
7.5

Us

A family is assaulted in their vacation home by... themselves?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-03-2019

An interesting horror that is adequately scary

An original, gripping and quite tense horror movie that had me talking and pondering long after it was finished... which is a good thing that I find increasingly rare. I just thought that it felt short on being truly scary or under the skin, the way I thought it would be.
7.5

Skyfall

This time it's an inside job aiming for M and MI6 headquarters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-11-2013

Dark Bond

A solid, slick and quite dark episode. Something remains, however, that keeps Bond films from rising above being good.
7.5

Nope

When a horse ranch family finds a otherworldy presence is lurking in the skies above them, they set out to capture it on film and get rich

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2022

somewhat odd and different but very tasty

The main thing going through my mind was how slightly odd and different this is. The characters, the story, the humor, the flow, it's all a bit odd, but in a refreshingly blunt way. It provides plenty to ponder on, and contains some of the most interesting and well done UFO scenes I know.
7.5

Jurassic World

In order to keep the customers coming, the parc scientists built a new kind of dinosaur. Of course it stays happily in it's cage!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2016

Worthy addition, great adventure

The awe and excitement of seeing realistic lifesize dino's on the screen may never be what is once was, but this movies still manages to capture the highly entertaining and plain fun adventure vibe of the franchise. Good 3D too.
7.5

The lighthouse

Man gets a job at a lighthouse, but the isolation, darkness and mad supervisor can only lead to madness

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-03-2021

Depressing, in a good way

Gloomy and dark, with a well constructed sense of desolation. You can almost smell the humidity and feel the suffocating scenery. Acting is intense if not a bit over, but somehow it seems right for this movie.
7.5

13 Hours

On the 2012 attacks on USA compounds in Benghazi

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2016

Chest pounding action with suprisingly restrained Bayism

The beginning was restless for the wrong reasons, everyone was chatting and doing stuff I could not follow. There's also a fair dose of Bay kitsch en patriotism, albeit less than I expected. But it's still an intense adrenaline rush - so much so that I had trouble falling asleep afterwards.
7.5

Upstream Color

Woman is force drugged some sort of maggot. From there on, you figure it out.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2014

Unique experience if you're up for it

Confusing, strange and distant. But at the same time, by shutting the viewer completely out, you can just observe like a fly on the wall, and become intrigued in the process. Did I sound like I swallowed the maggot just there?
7.5

Suspiria (2018)

Talented ballet dancer is accepted in a mysterious danceschool, were something occult is going on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019

Uneasy

While not as deeply disturbing as the of hype would make you believe, it was uneasy for sure. I liked it; photography was beautiful, and the slow tension and mystery keeps you hooked. But at the same time, I was slightly disappointed for not requiring therapy afterwards.
7.5

Brand New Cherry Flavor

Young movie director has her movie stolen in Hollywood, so she asks a witch to help her take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2021

A remarkable and bold series that features quite a few novelties

A bit filthy and bizarre, somewhat reminiscent of Lynch/Cronenberg weirdness and I like it. It walks a remarkable line between strange humor (puking live kittens?) and gory violence. I also like the modern day approach to witches and witchcraft.
7.5

Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters

When space survivors find no habitable planet, they have no choice but to return to the earth they fled because Godzilla was on it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-07-2018

Bad ass

Godzilla is only showed sparingly, instead building up mystery and an ominous atmosphere surrounding his presence. It has gorgeous drawings of awesomely designed space warfare in it. So all in all, despite the usual hysteric acting, I thought this was rather successful and was quite impressed.
7.5

Candyman

Artist gets fascinated by the urban legend of the lethal Candyman, who can be summoned in front of a mirror

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022

A classy horror

A higher tier horror, which proves painfully clear how many others are just brainless scarejump pulp. This is more more interesting, well done and well told throughout. I do feel though that some scenes could and should have been more hair-raising.
7.5

Open Water 2: Adrift

People on a yacht trip jump in the water to go for a swim, but forgot to put down the ladder first

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-11-2015

It will pull you in, too

I didn't want to go see this movie, but the terrifying story and suspense did keep me glued to the screen. The confusing ending with mixed memories from a past wasn't really necessary.
7.5

The Invitation

Introvert man is invited to a party, at which something feels not quite right

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-06-2018

Party sucked, movie did not

One of those movies that plays out in a single place with a single group of people, and a good one at that. The main goal of slowly building up a feeling of discomfort and anxiety to resolve what's going on is successfully achieved by the fine actors, story and no frills.
7.5

Antiviral

In the future, loyal fans want the diseases of their idols. A broker in such sicknesses gets a bit too involved.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-10-2014

Sickening - in a good way

A nasty and slightly disturbing premise that is cleverly neutralised in a clean, bright white scenery. An intriguing watch.
7.5

Nymphomaniac I

Man brings home a woman he found lying on the street, who then shares with him her life as a nymph.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2015

A succesfull approach for a subject like this

I needed some time to make up my mind. Never quite sure whether it is erotic or just plain nasty, whether it is pretentious or unique and brave. Overall, not a pleasant experience, but one with impact and substance, and some images that keep on haunting me.
7.5

Naked Lunch

Cockroach exterminator gets intoxicated by the poisonous gas and a surreal, bizarre story starts. Like typewriters that are mucus producing alien heads.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2014

Bizarre, they way some like it

A little slowish perhaps, but pleasantly bizarre, strange and filthy in true Cronenberg style.
7.5

Tremors

Texas country folk dealing with massive worm-like creatures attacking their tiny town

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019

Cheesy at it's best

Even when it was made, it already was silly, cheesy and ridiculous as can be. But it also managed to be an irresistible and charming combination of fun and dumb action that make it a classic. Every time I stumble upon it, I just cannot switch it of.
7.5

Mobile Suit Gundam: Hathaway

Didn't really understand it. After a heroic rescue from terrorists, a guy is stuck with a myserious woman. Also, robots.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-07-2021

A mature and pretty Anime, with some problems

While there are some anime annoyances, like bizarre behavior of all females, this had quite a mature, restrained atmosphere in which the Gundam action was secondary. I couldn't quite follow it, but was impressed by some gorgeous visuals (like nature and downtown cities) as well as the music.
7.5

Gantz:O

A mysterious orb selects diseased people to fight monsters roaming the streets, and gives them a change to return to live if they do well enough

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-05-2018

Plenty of coolness in here

I will never get used to the sound of desperate Japanese women panicking. Otherwise, this movie offers neat graphics, a cool atmosphere, imaginative kick-ass weapons and great monsters - whose design is familiar like 'typical' ghouls, but brought to live with high details and uncanny lighting.
7.5

Astronaut: The Last Push

Mission to the moon Europa goes wrong. Surviving austronaut in a has to make it back, spending years in a single compartment.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2015

Mostly succesful

A risky movie concept, requiring a top-notch actor and scripts to make the switch from actual boredom to fascination. Despite the ill-advised decision to make the astronaut a rather cold lifeless character, and some moments of actual boredom, this movie also gets plenty of things right. Well done.
7.5

Finding Dory

It's actually more like "Finding Dory's Parents"

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-12-2019

For a sequel, this seems about right!

While it won't yield the awe of the first one, simply because we are used to it, I'd say it quite successfully finds a balance between delivering what made the first one so good, and introducing a new story, plenty of memorable moments and some new fun characters.
7.5

Eye in the Sky

Covert-op to in Kenya, seen from within the situation room as well as airborne droids, constantly balances taking out most wanted terrorists at the cost of civilian lives

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-07-2016

Exciting fly on the wall

A nail-biting experience that had me hooked and managed to make the legal ramifications of firing a missile quite exciting indeed. I just thought the crying, insubordinate drone pilots were ridiculous.
7.5

Blade Runner: Final Cut

Blade Runner is an agent hunting down hard to spot rogue androids

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-11-2017

A classic that is a little too slow for it's own good

A moody and stylish scifi movie that defined the standard for shaping futuristic dark cities and matched it with a great soundtrack. I like how it takes time for everything, including people simply going from A to B, but near the end the slow pacing isn't quite rewarded by the underwhelming climax.
7.5

Particle Fever

Documentary about of the events that led up to the confirmation of the Higgs bosson in the Large Hadron Collider

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2015

Interesting look at an incredible machine

There is a slight overload of scientific superlatives on how important and revolutionary it all is. But with a device like that, and theories like that, and findings like that, I suppose they are right! Quite fascinating.
7.5

The Neon Demon

Unbearably beautiful girl tries a career at modelling, but her beauty leads to a dark place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2016

Beautiful contrasts

The beauty of the girl amidst the cold neon lights and people, which I guess symbolizes the harsh nature of the modelling world, works out great. It then builts up to an even greater contrast with death and gore, without ever becoming cheap or revolting. Wow.
7.5

Realive

FINALLY a movie about what could happen if they indeed will be able to reanimate a cryonized body in the future

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2018

Find the purpose of live by ending it. Twice.

The movie is mostly a philosophical essay about life and death, told through voice overs, long flashbacks and some events in the future. It can be a bit slow and loaded, but mostly it hits the mark and provides an interesting watch with some great acting and a good atmosphere.
7.5

Eden Lake

Couple goes to a lake to have a romantic time, but a gang of youngsters turn it into hell

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022

Unpleasant weekend trip

Things really go south, and you really feel for the couple as it goes from spoiling to terrorizing and worse. Making the gang all kids makes it all very uncomfortable, as you want them to smash their heads against a rock but they sort of can't.
7.5

I Kill Giants

Outcast girl apparently is fighting giants and setting traps for them.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2018

A big little movie

A reminder that glimpses can be more effective than in your face CGI mayhem, and that simple stories told and acted with care can be just as engrossing as any. A rather nifty little movie.
7.5

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