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Ju-on: White Ghost

When a family moves into a haunted house, the man is cursed to do the unthinkable onto his family and then himself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-06-2022
7

Simple but effective

It is told in a somewhat plain and unimaginative way, and for the most part feels like a collage of mini story's leading to a jump-scare. But the pieces do come together, and the movie did work. It has a uncanny atmosphere without being hysteric about it, and the scares came through alright.
7

Killers of the Flower Moon

A tribe of Indians, wealthy because of the oil on their land, is overcome by of a plague of murders

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
7

Oscar material and it knows it

A slew of triple A actors are seemingly competing for who has the most acting prowess, almost up to the point of overacting. The story is one of those 'little known story that needs to be told' affairs. Undoubtedly a good movie - but there is something very self conscious and Oscar hungry about it.
7

Act of Valor

Seal team hunts down a terrorist across the world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-06-2013
7

Wicked action saved the mission

One the one hand, we have very peculiar acting, misplaced slo-mo shots and indigestible patriotism and voiceovers. On the other, we have exquisite action scenes and a Call of Duty-style story telling that works very well.
7

Exodus Gods and Kings

The story of Moses, who sets out to free his people from egyptian oppression, with a little help from divine intervention

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-04-2015
7

Good yet linear and flat

Well made, acted and tightly shot, it is let by a very slow middle section, a failure to evoke deeper emotions and a rather uninspired depiction of the plagues, as if they are checking them out on a list; Yeh ok so that's the frogs, what's next? How many more?
7

Insidious

Family moves into a home, soonafter which paranormal things happen and the boy falls into a chronic sleep (but it's not a coma!)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2016
7

Half great, half ok

Starts of terrifying indeed. But then the inevitable ghost expert team moves in and sort of break the tension with misguided humor, along with the cliched medium and a tacky explanation for it all, and it sort of drifts into a slightly messy Poltergeist clone.
7

Love and Monsters

A monster apocalypse forces people to live underground. One not so brave dude decides to travel over te surface to reunite with the love

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-05-2021
7

Layed-back but amusing monster film

I found it to be a bit slow-ish and perhaps lacking some real suspense, but overall there is a nice, friendly atmosphere, a good sense of adventure and some well done monster brawls. Suitable for a younger audience without being childish.
7

We Are the Flesh

In an apocalyptic ruin, siblings mingle with a man offering them perks, but also descending them into nightmarish sexual depravity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
7

A trip for some of us

Perhaps it is not fair to rate this without having had subtitles, but I doubt it would have made more sense with them. Being uncomfortable, strange and vile, it's hard to rate movies like this. But in the end,I think I appreciate the vision, the boldness and the tripyness about it.
7

Robocop (2014)

Robocop manrobot must pave the way for an evil corp to deploy soulless crimefighting robots in America.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-11-2014
7

Point of view is too boring for what is happening

A darker, more serious version of the original, that is actually quite classy at times. Unfortunately, the story is focused almost entirely at the marketing of Robocop and influencing public opinion about automated crime control, which I did not find the most exciting perspective.
7

Isn't it Romantic

no-life woman bumbs her head and wakes up in a Romatic Comedy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2019
7

I just wish it was nastier

It's a great idea that will yield a few laughs. But ironically, it's not really funnier than the movies it is making fun of, and even comes up with the very moral lesson I thought it was revolting against.
7

Osmosis

Futuristic clinic develops an implant that will help people find their soulmate. But there are plenty of problems as the grand opening comes closer.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-03-2023
7

An original but sterile scifi drama

These series score with originality, a gloomy atmosphere and a couple of interesting storylines. However, the scenery, characters and atmosphere are so ice-cold and sterile that it is hard to empathize any with it - nor did I find everything very logical.
7

Sightseers

A rather daft couple goes on a dopey UK trip, which gradually turns into a Bonnie and Clyde rampage through the countryside

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2015
7

Unique, uncomfortably funny

An oddball movie with a strange but ultimately successful combination of comedy, violence and utterly boring vacation trips.
7

Dante's Inferno

Animation about Dante who ventures into hell to get back his wife

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2020
7

Nice hell

The movie delivers quite chilling and imaginative visions of hell, and the biblical and historical references give it intelligence and depth. However [SPOILER], the fact the Dante just hacks his way through any and all kinds of demons without ever getting into real trouble means it lacked tension.
7

The Ruins

A group of beautiful people goes to a secluded mayan ruin, where doom awaits

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2023
7

A pretty good and pretty original horror

This movie manages to overcome my allergy of horror movies with those witty, young, beautiful perfect people, and delivers a pretty solid and entertaining watch, with some gore, mystery and reasonably fresh ideas. I loved the mimicry concept in here.
7

The LEGO Batman Movie

Batman must not only face the usual enemies (all at once), but also his inner self

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2017
7

Too fast and furious

A colorful blast of action and endless jokes. Maybe I am getting old, but I found everything too fast and insanely frantic, making it impossible to follow and keep up. The few moments of silence (mostly also intended as a joke) felt like I could breathe again.
7

Glorious

Broken man takes a stop during a car trip, but gets locked in the restroom with a god occupying one of the stalls

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-08-2022
7

Refreshingly mad

While it may have some trouble keeping the simple setup engaging the whole time, I did find that this is a wonderfully crazy and refreshing flick. It has a nice dash of horror and scifi elements, but is mostly suitable for those seeking something absurd and trippy.
7

Crimson Peak

Woman marries a man who brings her to his spooky mansion, where she finds out what a ghost in her childhood tried to warn her for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
7

The good bits are mostly a side dish

With almost every scene a piece of art, this is quiet a looker. The ghost scenes were great too. But the story holding it together is mostly a costume drama of love, crime and passion, which I found quite slow and pale by comparison. I really liked Jessica Chastain's performance, though
7

Immortals

Gods select mortal man to act against the havoc of King Hyperio

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-10-2013
7

Too nasty

It looks fantastic and was made well. But the brutality and sheer nastiness in the movie left a bad taste in my mouth. I am still having nightmares about Brazen Bulls.
7

Safety Not Guaranteed

Three reporters go on a trip to seek out the story behind an man advertising time travel. Just how whack can he be?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-02-2013
7

a bit cold

Characters and atmosphere are a bit cold and unsympathetic, in an otherwise amusing and nicely found road/drama/love-movie (with a dash of sci-fi).
7

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Our lego friends venture into strange new worlds so there can be peace between two lego realms

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2019
7

More of the same

I could see all the things I loved about the original, yet I felt a bit indifferent about it without knowing exactly why. I guess it really is more of the same, which - even if that means more of a good thing - means the initial excitement is not here. But hey: it's still a dazzling lego movie!
7

De Slag om de Schelde

On how the allies regained control of the Dutch Schelde during world war 2, a crucial supply route to Antwerpen harbour

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-07-2021
7

Decent for sure, but somehow didn't really land

I quite like how it is built around more personal and intimate stories of several people involved, and was impressed by the glider footage. However, it suffers a bit from the "we have just a few sets and locations" sensation of smallness, and somehow it didn't really pack a punch emotionally.
7

Das Signal

An astronaut dissappears mysteriously after returning to earth. Her husband slowly learns what she discovered in space.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-03-2024
7

A pleasant scif mystery

An amusing scifi thriller with a pleasant mellow atmosphere and enough question marks too keep you attached. Through it's fanatic attempts to deliver unexpected twist, it did become rather far fetched and illogical at times.
7

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Because he broke some rules, John is now declared outlaw and the entire underworld seems to be after him.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2020
7

The core of the franchise

The story serves as a carrier to deliver oodles of John Wick-style fights and not much else. It can be a bit too much and absurd at times, but I must say there is also something mesmerizing and satisfying about these endless, beautifully choreographed, flowing violent dances of death.
7

Crimes of the Future

In a painless future, a couple performs live operations as an artform and are asked to operate a very special case. He also has strange new organs growing inside of him, by the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2022
7

Appealing forbidden fruit, but did not fill me up

I dig this strange word, including the body horror and filth, simply as break from the mainstream. But I did not find it really engaging. Perhaps because we are simply thrown into the weirdness without a narrative, but more importantly the characters themselves seemed apathetic about it too.
7

Paranormal Activity 2

(mostly) securitycamera footage of a family being haunted

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-01-2016
7

Novel en successful idea approach to a horror flick

Probably a rehash of part 1, but since I have not yet seen that, I will honor this one for the brave, effective and chilling way of telling a horror story. The actual events and pacing are a bit under powered for it to become truly terrifying, though.
7

Veronica

Ouija board. Trouble.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2018
7

Familair but with it's own sauce

Story wise it is familiar material, but the scares are quite subtle and less hysteric than usual. I liked the Spanish vibe on this and especially the three kids were great. But why it's hailed as one of the scariest movies ever made, I have no idea. The music sounds outdated and isn't helping.
7

Stepbrothers

Two senile and failed men must coexist in one house when they become stepbrothers

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-06-2013
7

Embarrasingly funny

Part of me thinks it could have been funnier given the two lead actors, but it is sill good fun.
7

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Folks buy an old town to turn it into something hip, but one house still contains the freaky villain from the seventies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2023
7

Succesful slasher

While I suspect fans of the original have plenty to complain about, in itself I found this to be a fairly solid slasher movie. It has some good gore, and the tension in some scenes is well done and certainly above average.
7

The Fountain

While trying to find a cure for his terminally ill wive, a man gets entangled in her manuscript for a story. Also, he is flying through space in a bubble with a tree.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2016
7

Over aware of it's uniqueness

A courageous and unique movie that dares to be different and strange. Beautiful and meaningful on the one hand, but hardly subtle as the symbolism is sort of rammed damned your throat and feels slightly too pleased with itself.
7

The Mitchells vs. the Machines

Chaotic family faces a robot invasion as well as the struggles with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-05-2021
7

Frantic fun

A bubbly and perky move that is good for a few laughs. It is really up to date with internet fun, memes and mobile phone lifestyle (So it will be obsolete a few years from now). Like other Sony movies, such as Hotel Transylvania, it is very fast and hysteric, sometimes tiring me down.
7

Spawn

Killed assassin makes a deal with the devil to lead his army with new superpowers, and in return he may see his wife again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
7

Not brilliant, but has plenty of tricks to make it work

People weren't to keen on this comic adaptation, but I am quite ok with it. There's a special kind overacting that seems just right for a movie like this, I liked the dark theme and some of the fx, the clown is just awesome and the movie simply entertains.
7

Afflicted

While documenting a Eurotrip, two friends also document one of them turning into a vampire

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2015
7

More interesting than scary

A combination of natural acting and convincing effects create some effective WTF moments. Well done, but it wasn't really scary - mostly because they seem sort of ok with the transformation.
7

Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045


Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-07-2020
7

More clean and comprehensible, but at the cost of atmosphere

I enjoyed another round of the adventures of this fabulous team. There is plenty of cool stuff in there, and I could actually follow the story this time. The graphics however, while crisp and clear, are also a bit lifeless, and the major somehow lost her mojo for me - even if she is an android.
7

Grotesque (2009)

A young couple is taken hostage and submitted to grotesque torture. Yeh, that's pretty much the story.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-08-2023
7

Ultrapainful and hard to watch, with no payoff or clue to any of it

I was never drawn to torture movies, and by God I hope this is the most painful one in existence. I am giving this 7 points for it is not necessarily badly made, it managed to rattle me inside, made me look away and almost made me give up entirely. But that does not mean I recommend viewing it.
7

The Croods

Caveman family must explore new grounds in order to survive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
7

Great prehistoric graphics and fun

Not overly successful in setting up characters you start to love, but beautifully rendered, quite exciting and good for a few laughs. I deduction half a point because it failed to make a lasting impression on my kids.
7

Robot & Frank

Grumpy old Frank is given a robot to look after him. What to do with it?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2013
7

Nice machine

Timid but witty comedy.
7

Non Stop

Air marshall tries to deal with a terrorist threatening to kill the passages on his flight, getting himself framed in the process
average 7.0

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
17-09-2015
7

Over the top in a nice way

I don't buy many aspects of the story, but I enjoyed it anyway!
7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-02-2015
7

Good old fashioned suspense

An reasonably intense thriller with a constantly high adrenaline level, and a pleasant 'old fashioned' simplicity of execution. Near the end they go a little overboard with the whodunnit game, and the far fetched motives and plans of the terrorist are yeh-right.
7

The Wonder

In the begining of the 19th century, a nurse is tasked with observing a girl who appearantly is able to live without eating

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2022
7

A sober and intriguing tale

This movie is at times very good looking - some of the indoor shots look like paintings - which help to set the mysterious mood. The story is intriguing enough. Part of me likes the fact that they kept it simple, fitting with the lives portrayed, another part wishes it had an extra layer or twist.
7

Noah

God asks Noah to built a boat to save all animals from the upcoming global flood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
7

Strong but very religious (duh!)

Strong and well made epic. Once they are on the boat, the endless contemplations about God's intentions and whether killing baby's is ok, is quite a lot to take in.
7

Aquaman

The story of sea-based superhero aquaman, and his quest to stop an all-out war with the dry people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
7

Sympathetic, fun and over the top

Like many superhero movies, it gets a bit too much and over the top as it moves towards the end (drum playing octopus did it for me) But I must say this has a heart at the right place, Aquaman and others were very likable, and overall it's an unpretentious fun adventure I enjoyed.
7

The Endless

Two brothers go back to a 'ufo death cult' they broke free from in the past. Strangeness awaits.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
7

Decent, but left a slighly unfinished feeling

Without overreaching within a limited budget, this manages to setup quiet a modest but enticing story and mood to make you curious. It can be a bit sluggish though and, while I find the open ended nature fitting, it did feel like it was a a bit insecure about it's own plot and meaning.
7

I Spit on Your Grave

Girl survives a brutal redneck gang rape and comes back to torture them to death

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-02-2016
7

A heavy, deeply uncomfortable, depressing affair.

If you manage to finally make it through the rape scenes, the next endurance test is full frontal torture, slightly more bearable because of the payback. I thought the complicated torture setups deployed seemed overly elaborate, prone to errors. But how can we rate movies like this? A 7 perhaps?
7

Marebito

A lonesome filmaker descents into the catacombs of the city and finds an alienated girl whom he tries to care for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-12-2023
7

Strong beginning, medium remainders

I liked the beginning the best, as it is quite creepy and unnerving. After that, it looses this and switches to mystery/drama that I found less compelling but quite interesting nonetheless. I read about all sorts of double meanings you could attribute to this movie, but for me it is what it is.
7

The Discovery

When an afterlife is scientifically proven, suicide becomes rampant because people try to get there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-06-2017
7

Not all I hoped, bit I still liked it

Part of me wished it was more about the discovery itself, part of me wished it was deeper en creepier, but the rest of me was quite pleased with the sober, depressing and character based-approach that still manages to intrigue and serve a satisfying climax.
7

The November Man

Retired CIA top wonderboy is asked for one more gig. He steps in because someone close to him is involved...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2015
7

Fine espionage

A decent, classic espionage action flick. It is a bit low on standout moments though, and the cockiness and skills of the main character can be too much at times.
7

A Banquet

A mother tries to handle a daugther who, after a visit to the woods, no longer eats and feels she now has a higher purpose

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2022
7

A modest horror with it's own style, but a bit thin on substance

This is a nice, modest mystery with a dash of horror but nothing hysteric. The atmosphere is moody and the central theme of eating and food is lain out well. However, it is dangerously close to being rather uneventful, and can feel kind of improvised as it tries to reach the end.
7

Cobweb

Boy with shit parents and no friends hears a voice coming from the walls, reaching out to him...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-09-2023
7

Something borrowed, something new

Although it uses some familiar ideas and scares, it also manages to have a story and atmosphere of it's own. Nothing spectaculair perhaps, but certainly a well rounded package and decent horror at that.
7

The Hallow

A couple movies to a secluded house in Ireland for forest research, but awaken the stuff from local folklore lurking in the woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-06-2022
7

A fine horror that manages to set itself apart

Although it does not offer anything radically new - but which horror does - the intimate atmosphere, the genuine characters and a tendency towards true tension over cheap jump scares (of which there are some), make it a worthwhile little horror. But geez, go easy on the cute baby sounds.
7

Tokyo Gore Police

A special police officer is on an assigment to take care evil modified humans, which involves a lot of bloodshed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
7

Entertaining blood fountains

For the most part I was very entertained by the bizarre atmosphere and blood fountains. It's a nice doze of insanity that is so over the top you can enjoy without remorse. After a while though, it did get a bit pointless and clueless.
7

The Expendables 2

A simple recovery job quickly turns into something big for the Hollywood A-team of self proclaimed dinosaurs

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-01-2014
7

Guilty pleasure

I liked it. Brutal, dumb, heavy duty action with some laughs thrown in.
7

Polar

A hitman's pension doesn't go as planned

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2020
7

Original, funky and violent

A mixture of some pretty grim action and violence with 'hip' characters, music and wacky titles. For a moment I was afraid the latter was a mask to hide mediocrity, but I have the say Mikkelsen's oodles of charisma, as well as a decent plot twist at the end, make it rise above the norm.
7

Extermination

Family tries to survive an invasion from outer space and learn something about themselves along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2018
7

Very decent scifi with a nice twist

All in all this was quite classy and stylistic most of the time, and it has a satisfactory twist as well. It does, however, dwell in certain scenes, and features some horrible cliches like a little girl risking everyone's lives to get her teddybear. Ugh.
7

Typewriter

Family movies into a new home with a cursed, but sought after, typewriter in it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
7

mixed

It mixes a lot of themes with varying levels of success. There's horror, but also humor, mystery and sometimes it's almost a children's movie. Likewise it is mixed in quality. Sometimes creative and intense, but quite slow and a bit dorky at others. But it does have a unique vibe that sets it apart.
7

Unwelcome

After a home invasion, a young couple moves to the countryside. But new dangers await there, too.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-02-2024
7

A unique but tasty cocktail

A remarkable mix of (hard-hitting) home invasion, fairytale folklore horror and perhaps even contemplations about manhood. Even the tone varies from scene to scene. But all in all, it sort of worked. Not a masterpiece, but highly amusing and quite intense at times.
7

Ninjago

The green ninja is having daddy issues, so he and his team venture into the jungle to find the ultimate ultimate weapon to defeat him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2017
7

Unbalanced

These LEGO movies will deliver the frantic action and fun, but I found it an unbalanced with a restless first half and then too much over-emotional scenes in the second one. But who am I? My son rated it 9.5.
7

After Earth

After crashlanding on a hostile planet, a boy must embark on a dangerous journey to save himself and his father.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-10-2013
7

Decent scifi survival adventure

I thought it was an original and good looking adventure that kept me interested all the way.
7

Rosemary's Baby

Rosemary and her husband move into a luxury appartment where she gets pregnant. The friendly but nosy neighbours hold dark secrets

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-08-2023
7

Good, but may have lost the effect it once had

I'd be happy to acknowledge the impact that this slowly unfolding and psychological horror must have had back in the days, and I quite enjoyed it as well. But in the now, I found the bigger part of it very chatty and the climax barely making up for it.
7

The Campaign

Cocky congressman suddenly faces competition from an unlikely candidate in the elections

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-03-2014
7

Nice, but could have used a smarter story

Funny and witty spoof of contemporary politics, that's probably not far from the truth either. Slightly let down by a simplistic and predictable story.
7

Into the Heart of the Sea

The 'true' story of Moby Dick, of whale hunters becoming hunted by a whale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
7

Well made but not engaging enough

It has a nice look and feel to it, and it was clearly made with much love and dedication. But these grumpy and dirty men harpooning whales were hardly sympathetic, so their misfortune was hardly engaging. The thick arty layers of unnatural colors take away a sense or realism too.
7

Brain Dead / Dead Alive

An exotic rat bite turn the dead into zombies. An dorky man and his girlfriend fight them with all their might.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
7

A classic, but has lost some impact over the years

It reached new levels of splatter-gore when it came out, and it still is quite a bloodbath today. The humorous tone helps to make the somewhat campy effects acceptable, but prevents it from becoming really scary or gross.
7

Malignant

After the brutal death of her husband, a woman starts to experience equally brutal murders in other people's homes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
7

Uninspired horror saved by a pretty cool twist

For the first half I was just sad, fearing that James Wan has nothing more to offer than formulaic cliches and boring movie characters. And while this IS a big problem of this movie, I have to say the reveal/plot twist was great, put things on it's head and managed to redeem some of the movie.
7

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

In a mission to save a planet from a hostile takover, two jedi stumble across a boy with great promise.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-09-2013
7

Majestic saga lost in space

It had everything you could possibly wish for: spaceships, droids, lightsabers, jedi's, aliens and saga. It has a phenomenal pod race. But because of multiple factors, it is a somewhat dull experience.
7

What We Do in the Shadows

Mockumentary about group of vampires trying to get by in daily life

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2015
7

Funny and unique

A sassy movie with a nice sense of humor a great atmosphere. Could have used some killer jokes though.
7

The Red Turtle

Adult animation about a man stranded on an island, and his attempts to escape appearantly being blocked by a large turtle.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2020
7

Beautiful and intriguing animation

Drawn in a beautiful minimalist but expressive style, tastefully flavored with some supernatural elements and manages to make you curious even if nothing is being said. That's quite something, even if the open ended nature felt a little easy to me.
7

Greenland

With comets heading for earth, a family tries to make their way to a shelter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-07-2021
7

Decent, restrained disaster

While it doesn't set out new frontiers in disaster movies, I thought it was a pretty good one. It kept us hooked, it doesn't have overly complicated stunts and escapes, and it conveys a message that is such situations, the comets are hardly the biggest problem.
7

Pi

A man obsessed with numbers looses his mind where he tries to find patterns in both the stock exchange and the Tora

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2024
7

A pleasant fix of gloomy weirdness

I wonder if it's just because of the black and white that it reminded me of Eraserhead? Or was it also the sweaty claustrophobic cinematography, the insanity and otherworldlyness of it all? Who knows. It's a cult niche thing, but a worthy one for sure.
7

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

One man can claim the magic sword and challenge the evil king

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2018
7

Watch out for splinters

At times a majestic and grandiose movie that definitely has it's moments, but also has some distracting dissonants like the weird fast paced conversations and inconsistent character of Arthur himself. Sometimes he was sincere, sometimes a goofball. It failed to latch on, already I am forgetting it.
7

Hunter Killer

American submarine is sent to rescue the Russian president... without starting a world war

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2019
7

Decent macho stuff

It tries a little too hard to be macho and has everyone talking in super tough guy one liners... all at the expense of realism and true tension. But what's left is still an entertaining, action-packed submarine movie for us to jerk off to the glorious American military.
7

Nekromantik

Couple has a fascination for collecting bodyparts, but when he brings an entire corps to have sex with, it puts their relationship to the test

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-07-2022
7

Unpleasant but enticing curiosity

It is made poorly and looks amateuristic, but the sight of someone licking the eye-socket of a decayed corpse still makes this have an impact way bigger than it's budget would have you believe. Vile and uncomfortable, but also unique, brave and an interesting niche product to have experienced. Once.
7

Lifeforce

Space mission takes samples from inside a mysterious space derelict, but brings home terror doing so. Space vampires, no less!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
7

Entertaining mix of nonsense

Back from when actors were ugly and sweaty, and people were interrogated by slapping them in the face, comes this remarkable mix of scifi, horror, zombie-outbreak and soft erotica. And it's remarkably entertaining at that.
7

Alien: Covenant

A colonial spaceship decides to do an unscheduled stop at an unknown, potentially habitable, planet when they pick up broadcast from it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2017
7

Another great alien movie that is also a huge disappointment

It still manages to shock and awe with intense alien encounters en space tech porn. But the more it wants to elaborate on the story and origins of the creature, the more it destroys. I wish I had never seen a live engineer - the single dead one was 100x more intriguing.
7

Contracted

After a onenightstand, a woman's body starts decaying rapidly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
7

A decent little shocker

Overall, the woman's decay is shocking enough and wasn't overdone. Her struggle with it, and the oddly apathetic reaction of the people around her, adds to feeling of isolation and helplessness. The story is a little straightforward though, hardly going anywhere.
7

Snowpiercer

Survivors of a frozen world found shelter on a selfsupporting train, driving endlessly circles. But a war of classes rages.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2014
7

Interesting

At first I was put off by the cliched revolt of lowerclass people in dirty clothes and low lighting conditions. But as they fight their way to the higher class front of the train, color comes in literally and figuratively, bringing to live this interesting metaphor of real live society.
7

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities

A bunch of horror stories

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-01-2023
7

Fun, not terrifying, dark tales for adults

While some of these stories can get quite gruesome - there's a lot of full frontal decaying corpses - the overall atmosphere is more akin towards mystery and dark fairy tales for adults, in terms of style and music. Two I found rather weak, but rest of them quite enjoyable.
7

The Last Days on Mars

Mars mission is about to wrap up, when they find something in the rocks....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013
7

So close to being great

This would have been a bomb if it had a more original, imaginative story. Now it's just a good, quite scary and beautiful looking movie.
7

Gun Woman

A crippled man turns a meth woman into an assassin to avenge his past. Now - where to hide to gun?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-09-2015
7

A bizarre and painfull plan. But will it work?

A rather sad movie with a lot of blood, suffering and necrophilia that provides an uncomfortable watch. The gun woman, however, does manage to drag you into the story, and make you anxious to see whether it all works out as planned.
7

The Dive

Two sister go on a dive at a remote site. One of them gets stuck.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-09-2023
7

Pretty and suspenseful

For a while I was skeptical whether I would care enough about these girls, or seeing them struggle around the single plotpoint for an entire movie. Turns out I did. It looks great and becomes quite a nail biter indeed. It's also quite savvy about diving equipment and procedures, adding to realism.
7

Earth to Echo

Distortions on telephones lead a group of friends to an extraordinary discovery, keeping them busy all night

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2014
7

The kids deliver

Not sure it needed those shaky camera shots, on top of an already restless story that is literally allover the place. Mostly though, this is a highly sympathetic, nicely done scifi adventure which radiates the same positive energy as E.T. and Super 8.
7

Overlord

A ww2 squad lands into German-occupied France to blow up a tower, but encounter dark occult nazi experiments on their way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2019
7

Meaty mix

A mixture of war, action and horror, delivering a meaty and enjoyable watch. It is, however, not super exciting nor super scary, and it is let down by some cliches and annoying characters, especially that damn kid.
7

Marionette

Psychiatrist moves to Schotland after a trauma, but her new patient appears to be predicting the future with drawings

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2020
7

slightly dull but ultimately satisfying

It's starts a bit pale in terms of colors, performances and pace, but certainly interesting enough to keep you aboard. Then it goes quite deep in terms of layers and plottwist, yielding a rewarding and fulfilling experience for sure.
7

The Farm

Couple on a roadtrip ends up at a farm where they are treated like animals

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2023
7

Unpleasantly piercing you conscience, but as a horroflick a bit thin

Seeing humans being treated like animals is quite a clever move, because it is shocking and vile, yet you can't fully condemn it because we treat animals this way too. It gives an unpleasant feeling. Too bad the move has little more to offer. Still, I suggest part II - the abattoir could be huge.
7

Chosen

Girl in a sleepy Danish town meets people who investigate the truth behind a comet that landed ther a long time ago

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-05-2023
7

A sweet mystery

You tend to get this Goonie's adventure vibe when youngsters go on a secret mission, and here we get Danish serenity on top of it. It's a sweet mystery, even if things can get quite unlikely at times, and the main character is not very likable. That space costume looked 70 years too late.
7

Stowaway

When a mars mission equiped for a crew of three has a crew of four

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2021
7

Interesting and focussed, but a bit mellow

It brings down the story to the essence, features fine design and actors, and certainly had us entertained. But the big finale seems a bit cumbersome and unlikely, and part of me thought the impossible ethical decisions could have been more heart wrenching, and tension more nail-biting.
7

Anon

In a future where everyone's vision is recorded, interpreted and exchangable, a detective tries to solve a murder by a hacker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2021
7

Decent but cold future crime story

With some interesting tech and sober atmosphere, it has a decent film noire crime-story atmosphere going on. But everything and everyone is so lifeless and emotionless that it left me slightly cold as well. Everyone constantly checking their readouts makes it quite static and sluggish, too.
7

testmovie

desc
average 6.8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
4.5

final floattest, can't be one integer

2.5 for me
4.5

robocop
robocop
20-05-2013
9.5

It will also float this

Floating with 9.5
9.5

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-05-2013
6.5

testing it with float integer

floating rating 6.5
6.5

Human Centipede

Man makes a human centipede by stitching people together ass-to-mouth. No really, he does.
average 6.8

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-11-2013
6.5

Still feeling slightly nauseous....

Although it has been quite some time since I actually watched this movie, I still get an awkward feeling remembering the gross scenes. Which is, on the other hand, rather impressive since I do not associate many movies with such enduring and intense (negative) emotions....
6.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2013
7

A horrendous but lasting experience

Effortlessly falls into the category: why the hell did they make this... and why the hell am I watching this? Painful, vulgar and almost unbearable to watch. But I remember it better than the average multimilliondollar super FX movie that I have seen lately.
7

Flight

An amazing, live-saving crash landing done by an alcohol drug addict pilot. How do you plead?
average 6.7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2013
8

Denzel we'd forgive you!

Stellar acting and crash scene. More than enough to keep you hooked to what is otherwise 'just' an alcohol drama.
8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
13-02-2013
3

Meow!

Kitty like milk
3

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robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
9

Up and down

and so it goes
9

Bait

After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
6.5

Amazingly ok

Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!
6.5

The Mountain Between Us

Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
6.5

Yeh sort of works

Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.
6.5

Older Gods

A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
6.5

A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight

These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.
6.5

Velvett Buzzsaw

A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Too sterile to make me care

I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.
6.5

Dumb and Dumber To

They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
6.5

Below par

It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.
6.5

Videodrome

In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
6.5

A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on

It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.
6.5

Monsters of Man

Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-07-2021
6.5

A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones

Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.
6.5

Camera Obscura

Predictive murders show up on a depressed man's vintage camera. How far will he go to prevent them?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-01-2018
6.5

Good idea delivered somewhat plainly

It's got a great story and almost reels in that 'low budget doesn't matter when you have good ideas and actors' vibe. But I found it lacking that extra touch and sharpness. It ends up somewhat tame and slow. Some of the horrific scenes somehow left me cold.
6.5

The Green Inferno

Student activists go protest in the jungle to save the habitat of the local natives, but end up being eaten by them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-04-2018
6.5

Eat those annoying actors

The cannibalism and slaughter should please those who like this sort of thing, and the live of the tribe - while not eating - even seemed sort of respectful and authentic. The movie is held back by really annoying characters delivering lots of poorly acted lines.
6.5

The Void

Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
6.5

Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless

A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.
6.5

Sand Castle

Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
6.5

it's got the stuff but not the story

They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.
6.5

The Lost City

Author of classic adventure romans novels suddenly get involved in a real, treasure-finding adventure - with her cocktaildress still on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
6.5

Good fun, but not great

The combination of slapstick humor and classic Indy mystery and adventures still works for me. But the movie seems self aware of it's simple goals, making it a bit lazy. The jokes are a bit insecure and over the top, the adventure a bit anti climactic, the romance not really tangible.
6.5

TrollHunter

Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2013
6.5

Could have been much better if we believed in any of this

The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.
6.5

Chappie

Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
average 6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
6

Nice robot, crappy story

Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-03-2015
7

A bitter sweet 7

As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.
7

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