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400 Days
4 people spent 400 days in a mockup spaceship to test the effects of long term space travel. Will they keep their sanity... and what's going on outside?
Wittenberg
24-09-2016
Annoying
Right from the beginning I was incredibly annoyed by this. Everything and everyone is so phony, cheesy, unrealistic and slow. There's a pale spark of excitement in the whole 'what's happening' mystery, but I wonder if even the writers really knew.Fear Street part one: 1994
Mysterious killer kills youth
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
A hot mess
Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.Fortress (2012)
Replacement co-pilot of a B-17 struggles not only with the war, but also with winning the trust and respect of the crew
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
Perhaps with a better story
Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.Deus
A spaceship travels to a mysterious sphere to investigate
Wittenberg
27-12-2022
Terrible scifi with insufficient but still present elements of quality
Apart from the outside space graphics, nothing else convinces in any way. Not the actors, not the ship interior, not the dialogues, not the music, not the directing, not the ship's plumbing. The story and twist are sort of interesting, but are unfortunately buried beneath the problems.Seance: the Summoning
Some teens comfortably go into a morgue to summon spirits between corpses, then seem frustrated if things getting scary indeed
Wittenberg
15-04-2018
Not even God can save this movie
A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.The Device
Two sisters (and a douche) retreat to a sumercabin to overcome past trauma. But what they find only brings them extraterrestial misery.
Wittenberg
04-02-2015
It's plain bad
There are a lot of things wrong with this amateuristic scifi horror. Like the cheesy aliens and the many awkward overlong chat scenes. But the completely misleading, non-representative poster artwork is really criminal. Tssssk!Shanghai Fortress
Shanghai defends against an alien invasion. With a big canon.
Wittenberg
31-07-2020
Arrogant empty shell
How the hell did they get such a big budget to make such bland, generic, lifeless movie? It radiates arrogance. The numerous 'emotional' scenes with cheesy minor piano chords fall flat completely because I didn't know or care who these people are!Cycle
Astronaut (?) wakes up in a place and needs to find a way out before a fog runs over it.
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Fascinating AND yawn inducing
This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.Insidious: The Red Door
Father and son forgot their trauma through hypnosis, but when the son goes to college, the past comes back.
Wittenberg
09-04-2024
Uninspired and uncapable
An utterly uninspired attempt to do some more with this franchise. It looses any creepiness early on, only to continue with a tiresome, slow and predictable waste of time.The Rebels of PT-218
During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources
If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.Rings
More people watch the cursed video
Wittenberg
08-10-2017
Lazy
What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.Death Valley
Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
Uninspired and stolen
A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.The Outwaters
Found footage of 4 friends who went into the desert and encountered various hardships
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
found random nonsense
First there's the usual get to know the annoying characters, then for a moment it's slightly interesting, only to then plummet into a mess of unclear, pointless, loud, endless and absolutely RANDOM events thrown at you because noone knew what this was about.Horsehead
A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
A failure
Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.The Machine
Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of
Wittenberg
23-03-2015
Too boring, too B
While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.The Moon
An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
Looks okay, afwul kitch movie
Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.Kickboxer: retaliation
Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
You may skip this
I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Unbearably loud
That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.Alien Outpost aka Outpost 37
Mockumentary of soldiers in some outpost fighting aliens
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
Badly done scifi
A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.Andor
Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's
Wittenberg
11-12-2022
Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull
Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.The Offering (aka Abyzou)
Man secretely wanting to sell his fathers funeral home, has to deal with cleansing it from evil first
Wittenberg
01-07-2023
Waisted
Despite one of the scariest locations I know (morgues), tastefully lit scenery and a promise of creepy Orthodox Jewish reli-horror, this movie was unable to craft it into something scary or interesting. Instead, it has only really, really tiresome loud-noise jumpscares to offer.The Holly Kane Experiment
Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
You don't fool me
This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?The Last Witch Hunter
Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
Boring and superficial
The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.Catwoman
Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
Maybe girls like it
The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.Gantz
Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident
Wittenberg
19-01-2020
I gave up
I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.Transformers: Age of Extinction
The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
near torture
This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.V/H/S: Viral
A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
Messy
I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.Wolf Hound
Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown
This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.The Book of Boba Fett
Boba is now a mayor
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
As if the plot wasn't bad enough
I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.Doctor Sleep
Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl
Wittenberg
09-08-2020
Sacrilege yourself
Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.Hellraiser 2022
A puzzlebox summons hellish bringers of torture and death
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
Yawning at cenobites
Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the prospect of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.Assasins Creed
Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple
Wittenberg
02-05-2017
Stupid and liveless
I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars
It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
Ruined by the characters
Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.The Nun II
It's the Nun II
Wittenberg
22-12-2023
Good looking borefest with no story
Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.Jurassic World: Dominion
People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs
It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.Project Ithica
A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
Gets tired quickly
Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.Imaginary
Family is confonted with an evil imaginary friend of the youngest daughter
Wittenberg
14-04-2024
A great idea planted in fruitless soil
What a fantastic idea to make horror about imaginary friends. Unfortunately, this movie had just one moment that impressed me. The rest is a formulaic affair with a badly acting daughter, some stupid lines an characters, missed opportunities and a generic trademark Blumhouse horrormovie feel to it.The Witcher season 3
Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger
Wittenberg
12-08-2023
Dull
This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.The Starving Games
A parody of guess which movie
Wittenberg
21-08-2015
A turkey of the second kind
A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
Pretentious, boring and annoying
I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse
Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie
For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.Into The Storm
Tornados
Wittenberg
31-12-2014
Cloaked with bad decisions
The question is: can you handle obnoxious teenagers with all kinds of uninteresting teenager problems, an unlikely crew of unlikable people, stiff acting and a pointless handheld camera approach in exchange for a few amusing tornado shots? Well, can you?The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
The paranormal detectives try to trace the orgins of a boy's evil curse, apperantly to use as defense in a court case
Wittenberg
11-07-2023
A lacklustre horror/thriller/detective story
While it may be original, I did not find the detective/court story very appealing. A bigger problem is that it doesn't really get scary or under your skin. It's a bit nasty and loud, and left me way more indifferent than a horror movie ought to.Movie 43
Teenagers scout the internet for a movie that doesn't exist, taking them through various bizarre movies as they go
Wittenberg
28-01-2014
fascinatingly unfunny
In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.Away
Mum goes to Mars. Away from her family.
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Soggy family drama with occasional space things
Don't get tricked into thinking this is a scifi adventure. This is a soap opera, featuring an insanely uncooperative and unprofessional crew, bitching and moaning and solving tedious problems like the water supply and the flue. Back on earth, there is slow nagging family drama and diseases. Ugh!Cars 2
McQueen and Mater get caught up up in a spionage and racing adventure.
Wittenberg
27-07-2013
Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something
Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.The Black Demon
A family vacation winds up on a decommissioned oilrig with a huge shark patroling the waters
Wittenberg
01-01-2024
Lacklustre, even for a a shark movie
For some reason big shark movies get a pass for not being of much quality, but even so this one is a bit problematic. There was a lack of inspiration to do actual sharks scenes, so there's a lot of chatty fillers about the environment and vague folklore. Some subplots even seemed abandoned.Fifty Shades of Grey
Woman falls in love with mysterious and wealthy man, but he has sadomasochistic desires
Wittenberg
17-07-2016
What a turnoff
Mostly a boring soap opera where they speak in Hollywood cliches. Their relationship is ice cold and unconvincing. The woman is confusingly flip flop towards the SM, and the corresponding scenes are bullshit as they kept it 'romantic' and pretty to look at. A feather? Really!?Insurgent
In a future where people are living in factions based to their personalities, a group of rebels aim to break these boundaries
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
Can you make it till the end
I am afraid I loathe these 'young adult' future novels as of late. I can't stand these plastic, one dimensional people living in these ridiculous worlds doing unlikely stuff, always looking oh so pretty as they go along. The only savior are the imaginative and classy 'sim' scenes near the end.Movies found: 1042 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 36 - 85
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