BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Carrie (2013)
Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
Identical yet inferior to the original
Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.Carnage
Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
Great idea didn't work
A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.Hercules
Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please
I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...Wittenberg
07-12-2014
A bit boring
The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.Good Day to Die Hard, A
McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
Boring high-octane action. Huh?
Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.Grudge, The
Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas
On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.Nun, The
A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story
While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.Temple, The
Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
They forgot to write it
I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.Risen
Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions
The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.Resident Evil: damnation
A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless
It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?Unholy, The
Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
Fair story just not exectuted well
The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.Color Out of Space
Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
A bit vague and improvised
It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was overAlvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
The chipmunks fear that their dad's love interest might lead him to abandon them, so they set out to sabotage the engagement.
Wittenberg
06-03-2016
Ok for kids. An endurancetest for adults.
Sure, it's an uncomplicated fun adventure, kids will get some fun out of it, and let's not forget the effects blending so seamlessly we don't even notice them anymore. But a kids movie equally suitable for adults, this is not.Captive State
An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
Average
Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.Spectral
Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
Decent ingredients but no cake
This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.Pet Semetary (2019)
A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
not scary enough, too little to standout
While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.Curvature
A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
Too flawed to make the story come alive
I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.Harbinger Down
Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts
Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.Control
Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
Lacks excitement or ideas
While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.White House Down
Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent
Wittenberg
23-10-2013
Quality goes down too
Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.Sausage Party
Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
Funny idea with too little good jokes
I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.Make My Day
A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
Poor characters and story
While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.Glass
A researcher investigates the credibility and actual superpowers of the superhero's from Unbreakable and Split
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
Ultimately a failed attempt to prolong this
The story provides a potentially clever reason to bring these people together and add a twist to the story, but mostly it feels like everybody was dragged in front of the camera again, the "research" was laughable and I still hate MPD - it is so embarrassing to look at, not scary at all.Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem
Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.Dark Shadows
Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
Surprisingly boring
Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.Outside the Wire
After neglecting an order, a drone pilot is send to join a mysterious supersoldier on a dangerous quest
Wittenberg
23-01-2021
Tries to be something it's not
With military action and gun-toting robots, this ought to has been my thing. But I was quiet disappointed. Mostly because they talk tough and say deep things, but it all falls completely flat. It's just trying too hard to be cool and relevant without following up on it.Planes
Planes flying around in the world of Cars (1)
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
What it needs to be
Not much in the way of originality, but adept at telling an effective, colorful and easy to follow story for the target audience.RockmeNow
29-11-2013
Planes flying around, that's about it
Ok, so it looks like the world of Cars (1), but with planes in it, which could be entertaining. But actually it is not, since they forgot to write a decent story. Too bad...Shadow Effect, The
Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?
Wittenberg
25-11-2017
Only just above B level
It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.Witcher season 2, The
The witcher is training the princess he protects, but her powers become more and more concerning
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
It's now soap
I still like the Witcher atmosphere, and sure there are some memorable moments to be found. But mostly I found season 2 remarkably tedious and empty. The main culprit is the oddly soapy style of storytelling, with endless conversations between people doing bizarre strolls through hallways.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
A rather tired bulge of more Starwars
It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.Hitman: Agent 47
Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce
I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"Encanto
All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Objectively great, subjectively exhausting
With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.6 Underground
Group of very cool hitman people aim to set free a country from an evil dictator
Wittenberg
14-04-2020
Failed experiment
I was in for it; could an overload of non-stop Micheal Bay signature crap eventually transform into a trance-like satisfying experience? We'll never know, because even he couldn't keep up the initial pace, and let this slide off to a more generic and only somewhat amusing actionflick.Wounds
Bartender finds distrubing images on a telephone left by a customer, starts seeing bugs and is chosen for a mysterious cult ritual
Wittenberg
06-09-2020
Mixed feelings
When slow burning is done wrong, it is just slow. Near the middle it manages to spark some interest, only to loose it again because the writers couldn't figure out how to tie the story elements together. It's pretty ok though, mainly because the performances and created amtosphere.Golem, The
A woman tries to defend a secluded Jewish community by summoning a creature from the soil
Wittenberg
07-07-2019
Great setting, but second half is too directionless
It lays down a really good mood with the sober, deeply religious and ritualized community. But it feels like they forgot to think through what would happen once the Golem is there, so it starts to feel loose and deflates. The music, while good, was too eager and didn't really fit well.House of 1000 Corpses
Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way
Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"Last Voyage of the Demeter, The
A ship transports a doomed cargo from Transalvania to London.
Wittenberg
10-09-2023
Lacks inpsiration or surprises
Everything is there for a genuinely creepy experience: A mysterious monster, a squeaky wooden ship and gloomy dark seas. Yet I wasn't scared by it, perhaps even a little indifferent. There's something too modern about the style, and a lack of surprises or connection with the characters.Exists
Them kids in a cabin in the woods are terrorized my Bigfoot. All caught with found footage.
Wittenberg
16-04-2016
Average, quite unoriginal stuff
The more we get to see this creature, the less scary it becomes. And for Christs sake, does it always have to be teenage stoners who experience this stuff? And they brought how many camera's? Sit with the other average found footage horror movies please.Deadpool 2
Deadpool looses his wife and wants to protect some kid
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Lacks substance, just gags
The cynical nature of Deadpool and the kitsch, over-elaborate fighting scenes are the real aces of this movie, but after a while it gets exhausting and overdone, and with only a rather vague and messy story to fall back on I found myself strangely bored for the amount of stuff that goes on.Zathura
Jumanji in space
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
Lacking that extra something
This may appeal to a younger audience, but overall I felt it wasn't quite there. Actors are a bit lifeless, jokes fall flat, scenes drag on for too long. It's fine, but missing the spark, magic, wit or funfactor to make it appeal to a broader audience.Million Ways to Die in the West, A
Out of place cowboy is dumped by his true love, but gets unexpected help to win her back
Wittenberg
01-03-2015
Why the story?
Come on people! Why didn't they just parody the hell out of western movies in true McFarlane style? An ineffective mix of some brutal and bold humor drowned in an uninteresting and righteous love story.This is the End
Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
Mostly self absorbed
The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.Blackhat
In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Nicely shot nonsense
It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.Errementari
Misunderstood and isolated, a blacksmith is keeping a hellish demon in captivity when a little girl enters his property
Wittenberg
28-10-2018
Too much like a musical
The style and dialogues are very overdone and overacted. This may give the movie a unique, almost musical play vibe to it, but it also means that is a bit dopey at times and not really scary either. I liked the Dante-proof scenes of hell near the end though.Game Over, Man
Three stoned failure teenagers work as housekeepers in a hotel when it gets sieged. Will they save the day
Wittenberg
16-01-2021
Mostly a bad taste teenager flick
For some reason I thought this would rise above standard teenage, bad-taste material through better jokes, better humor and plenty of gore to spice things up. But it hardly does so, it really is mostly bad taste teenager flick with perhaps a handful of laugh out moments.Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
Lacks in too many areas to make it work
The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.Space Sweepers
Space scavengers find a girl that is also bomb, which marks the beginning of a wild ride
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
Could have been fresh, but gave a headache instead
While I like the designs, FX and fresh vibe, I found it hard to get into the restless and erratic style of the movie, and didn't attach to any of the cartoonish, one-dimensional characters.Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 171 - 220
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