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Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead
A few girls try to survive when all men turn into those
Wittenberg
14-08-2023
Not the killer pulp I hoped for
A film with a good chance of being so outrageously bad and incorrect that it becomes secretly enjoyable, but alas it had too little good ideas or energy for that. It's all quite lifeless. All the zombies walking around with their pants on their ankles earned it a bonus point though.Sex Ed
Mathteacher can't find a suitable job, so he settles for giving sex education to teens
Wittenberg
06-01-2015
Sex ought to be funnier than this
It had a lot going for it. A funny idea, a mellow Cuban vibe and potential. Unfortunately, the jokes won't ignite and many scenes just fall flat. Also contains a painfully misguided good-will-hunting-ish speech scene that isn't even trying to be funny.Slenderman
Some kids summon slenderman
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
Slenderman deserves better
I really like the slenderman figure and wanted to like this, but the lead actresses don't really convince, and everything is just moving very slowly from one scare to the next, filling up time in a story that feels a bit loose and lacking ideas, and ultimately, never gets really scary.A walk among the tombstones
Private detective searching for a bunch of sickos mutilating and killing the loved ones of drug dealers
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Another movie with Liam Neeson, definitely not one of his best
I am still wondering what the writers were thinking, as well as Liam Neeson reading the script. Watching a goldfish in a fish tank for 114 minutes must be more exciting than this...The 5th Wave
Girl tries to rescue her little brother amidst an alien invasion in 5 waves
Wittenberg
21-08-2016
Derailed
After a reasonable start, it derails in cheesy teenage love stories, unexciting screenplay, annoying army-squads comprising of teenagers and emo's, and sloppy movie making with aliens that conveniently look just like humans.Prisoners of the Ghostland
A convict is chartered to rescue a woman from a mysterious group that is held captive by ghosts. If not he explodes.
Wittenberg
16-12-2021
Weird is not always good
Some pretty colors and scenes aside, this is mostly uncomfortably odd and confusing. You could argue that is to be commended for being different and broken free from the mainstream, but not in a way that I found pleasing.The Monuments Men
In WWII, a specialized group sets out to save artworks from destruction or being stolen by the nazis
Wittenberg
07-09-2014
A very boring movie
A moviesubject in danger of being boring. And despite the A-list of actors and undoubtedly good intentions, I am sorry to say that it is.Monster Hunter
Army ranger accidently winds up in another dimension where she must fight monsters
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Awesomeness that left me cold
Such a potential premise, such a big budget, yet still so uninteresting and shallow. I thought only the finale back on earth was somewhat badass. The movie seems to look a lot like the game it was based upon, so perhaps fans will get more out of it.Nightflyers
The crew on a spaceship, on it's way to make contact with alien lifeforms, finds itself in more and more peril as they come closer
Wittenberg
18-03-2019
These poor series still contain enough mystery to make it worthwhile
So for this monumentally important mission, they assembled the most insecure, insubordinate, fashion-conscious and unstable crew they could find and make them improvise the entire mission in an insanely incoherent way. But apparently I love space mystery so much that I still watched it. All of it.The Last Full Measure
Pentagon hotshot reluctantly investigates a request for a posthumous medal of honor, and gets more and more involved as he talks to the veterans
Wittenberg
07-09-2020
Overdone
They managed to get a whole bunch a A-list actors giving all they got. But it feels overacted, over dramatized and forced down your throat. The clips during the end scroll demonstrate how veterans ACTUALLY talk. A noble cause for sure, but unnecessarily heavy-handed. Boring, even.Expiry
A couple fails to have children before the expiry date of their relationship, then a bracelet makes physical contact impossible
Wittenberg
25-04-2021
Too thin
This almost sort of worked, as a minimalistic, futuristic story of a forbidden relationship. But after a while it starts to loose momentum, the therapy sessions (?) with some sort of HAL computer seem endless and pointless and the final escape scene brings it to amateuristic levels.Hercules
Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please
I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...Wittenberg
07-12-2014
A bit boring
The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.Murder Mystery 2
Murder solving couple takes a much needed break on a distant island, but soon enough they're at it again
Wittenberg
08-04-2023
Formulaic slapstick with too little good jokes
I can see what they are going for, and objectively all the ingredients are here for a shot of uncomplicated amusement. I just thought the jokes were not all that, and everything is so safe, formulaic and predictable it feels like you have already seen it - and will forget about it tomorrow.A Good Day to Die Hard
McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
Boring high-octane action. Huh?
Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.House of Wax
Group of friends winds up in a desolate town where the wax museum holds a horrible secret
Wittenberg
18-06-2023
original subject can't generic horror formula
The wax subject is quite original and caters for some reasonable horror moments. The subject feels slightly underused though, but that's not the main problem. That would be the same old cast of pretty young adults behaving generically, unrealistically and rather tiresomely.The Grudge
Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas
On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.The Nun
A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story
While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.Kill Command
Future space marines go train against robots in the woods, but then the robots start to become agressive beyond the program.
Wittenberg
11-09-2016
Nice robots though
Some guys were quite adept at making some good scifi designs and robotics, but not at making a movie around it. The combat lacks tension, performances are underwhelming, there's a lot or repetition and I fell asleep twice.The Temple
Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
They forgot to write it
I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.Risen
Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions
The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.Resident Evil: damnation
A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless
It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?The Unholy
Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
Fair story just not exectuted well
The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.Color Out of Space
Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
A bit vague and improvised
It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was overCarnage
Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
Great idea didn't work
A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.The Huntsman: Winter's War
An alternative, side-story story situated around the area and events of the snow white fairy tale
Wittenberg
28-01-2017
Nothing to stand out or excite
I think the good intentions are there, but I found it rather flat and uninvolving, appearing rather insignificant next to giants like The Lord of the Ring.Incantation
A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
Too messy
There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.Carrie (2013)
Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
Identical yet inferior to the original
Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.The Great Raid
In WW2 soldiers undertake a daring missing to rescue prisonors from the Japanese Abanatuan camp
Wittenberg
15-01-2017
Felt like a movie, not a war rescue mission
I don't mean to sound disrespectful about this amazing operation, but I wasn't to keen on this movie. I constantly felt I was watching actors playing soldiers and prisoners, with unrealistic over rehearsed lines ruining the mood. The cliched and disconnected 'war movie music' didn't help either.Terminator Dark Fate
More or less the original story but with more females
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
No
Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.Windtalkers
Marines are reluctantly tasked with protecting native american soldiers and their ability to transfer indecipherable messages
Wittenberg
10-05-2022
Did not age well
I think it made an impression as a war movie in the day, but I fear it has aged poorly. The acting and dialogues can be quite corny, the emotional scenes induce cringe, and the action is almost laugable with the hero shooting from the hip and all bad guys instantly drop dead.Outside the Wire
After neglecting an order, a drone pilot is send to join a mysterious supersoldier on a dangerous quest
Wittenberg
23-01-2021
Tries to be something it's not
With military action and gun-toting robots, this ought to has been my thing. But I was quiet disappointed. Mostly because they talk tough and say deep things, but it all falls completely flat. It's just trying too hard to be cool and relevant without following up on it.The Shadow Effect
Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?
Wittenberg
25-11-2017
Only just above B level
It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.Extraterrestial
Adolescents camping in the woods find themselves amongst aliens
Wittenberg
12-09-2015
Manages to be ok
It's the same old adolescents , going to the same old cabin in the woods with the same old aliens. But there's a couple of scenes, moments and even performances in here that keep this movie in the green.The Witcher season 2
The witcher is training the princess he protects, but her powers become more and more concerning
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
It's now soap
I still like the Witcher atmosphere, and sure there are some memorable moments to be found. But mostly I found season 2 remarkably tedious and empty. The main culprit is the oddly soapy style of storytelling, with endless conversations between people doing bizarre strolls through hallways.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
A rather tired bulge of more Starwars
It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.Encanto
All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Objectively great, subjectively exhausting
With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.Terminator: Genisys
The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'
Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.6 Underground
Group of very cool hitman people aim to set free a country from an evil dictator
Wittenberg
14-04-2020
Failed experiment
I was in for it; could an overload of non-stop Micheal Bay signature crap eventually transform into a trance-like satisfying experience? We'll never know, because even he couldn't keep up the initial pace, and let this slide off to a more generic and only somewhat amusing actionflick.Wounds
Bartender finds distrubing images on a telephone left by a customer, starts seeing bugs and is chosen for a mysterious cult ritual
Wittenberg
06-09-2020
Mixed feelings
When slow burning is done wrong, it is just slow. Near the middle it manages to spark some interest, only to loose it again because the writers couldn't figure out how to tie the story elements together. It's pretty ok though, mainly because the performances and created amtosphere.The Golem
A woman tries to defend a secluded Jewish community by summoning a creature from the soil
Wittenberg
07-07-2019
Great setting, but second half is too directionless
It lays down a really good mood with the sober, deeply religious and ritualized community. But it feels like they forgot to think through what would happen once the Golem is there, so it starts to feel loose and deflates. The music, while good, was too eager and didn't really fit well.The Hangover III
The wolfpack gets involved in crazy mafia adventures yet again, but this time they're sober
Wittenberg
07-02-2016
I felt cheated
The 'what the hell happened last night' joke may have been running out of fuel. But as I watched the half-baked comedy that remained without it, I couldn't help but feel cheated.House of 1000 Corpses
Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way
Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"The Last Voyage of the Demeter
A ship transports a doomed cargo from Transalvania to London.
Wittenberg
10-09-2023
Lacks inpsiration or surprises
Everything is there for a genuinely creepy experience: A mysterious monster, a squeaky wooden ship and gloomy dark seas. Yet I wasn't scared by it, perhaps even a little indifferent. There's something too modern about the style, and a lack of surprises or connection with the characters.Sharknado
A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
Succesfully bad
With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.Neighbors
Young couple with a baby has a fraternity move in next door. The war begins
Wittenberg
15-03-2015
Watching people having fun wasn't much fun
The lead actors put in a lot of energy and effort into it, but cannot save this mediocre comedy with a shortage of good jokes. The endless fraternity partying and self-contempted mayhem was rather exhausting to me.Deadpool 2
Deadpool looses his wife and wants to protect some kid
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Lacks substance, just gags
The cynical nature of Deadpool and the kitsch, over-elaborate fighting scenes are the real aces of this movie, but after a while it gets exhausting and overdone, and with only a rather vague and messy story to fall back on I found myself strangely bored for the amount of stuff that goes on.Zathura
Jumanji in space
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
Lacking that extra something
This may appeal to a younger audience, but overall I felt it wasn't quite there. Actors are a bit lifeless, jokes fall flat, scenes drag on for too long. It's fine, but missing the spark, magic, wit or funfactor to make it appeal to a broader audience.Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas
When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
An unnecessary movie with no audience
If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.Movies found: 1039 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 151 - 200
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