BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Anti Life aka Breach
Crew on a spaceship transporting the last batch of inhabitants for new earth gets infected, turning them into zombies
Wittenberg
04-04-2021
Dead on arrival
It doesn't pretend to be much, and it doesn't even try or care either. It feels like they gave up hope pretty early on, and just had everyone running through the same hallway until they were done with it. Utterly empty.Atomica
Woman engineer goes to a faulty device transforming nuclear radiation into energy. Something in there is not quite right.
Wittenberg
02-07-2017
Very cheap - in more than one way
Once she arrives, the only thing that awaits are very long, uninteresting conversations, sub par acting and an empty slow plot in which not much is going on. The poster artwork is completely misleading and does not represent actual footage from the movie. Boooh.Mermaid Down
Mermaid is caught, her tail is cut off, she grows legs and ends up in a asylum with weirdos. Yes.
Wittenberg
09-05-2020
A weird failure
Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.Left Behind
One day, millions of people disappear in a flash, leaving a pile of clothes behind.
Wittenberg
14-12-2014
The worst of the eighties
A remarkable exhibit of the worst movie elements from the eighties, brought back to life in the new millennium. Acting, stereotypes, script, humor - all appalling and outdated - accompanied with eighties film music to top it off. Cage must have owed someone a favor!White Sky
Hikers see an alien spacehip hanging over a city, after which they are attacked by zombies
Wittenberg
01-08-2023
Not much here and everything takes too long
In the beginning there are some ok-ish elements that made me hopeful this was a low-budget but creative and interesting scifi movie. I was wrong. The main problems are the very thin script and almost absent directing. And all scenes are way too long, making my attention wander off constantly.Air Strike a.k.a. The Bombing
In a chinese village under constant bombardment from the Japanese, a Chinese pilot is sent on a ground mission to transport a valuable cargo.
Wittenberg
30-11-2018
A tiresome mess
So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.Gods of the Deep
A submarine crew ventures into deep, to enter a portal leading to a place where ancient gods may reside
Wittenberg
12-03-2024
Pulp that almost wins sympathy, but the amateurism was just too much
When you have no budget, is it foolish or courageous to make an underwater movie? Either way, I was tempted to give this fun borderline amateur movie some credit in all it's cheesiness, but the silly story and Numark audio mixer serving as pilot controls were just too distracting.Cosmic Sin
When extraterrestrial live is discovered, a team goes to another planet to neutralize the threat, bringing an old veteran with them
Wittenberg
05-05-2024
crappy
I knew this was crappy ,but I was hoping it would turn into some amusing goofball entertainment. But is really was just crappy, with long tiresome dialogues ("They may very well be alive, but highly unlikely"), gutless combat and no real sense of being in the future.Nova
On a spaceship to mars, an android is struggling with acceptance by the human captain, other androids and her own developing emotions
Wittenberg
29-01-2023
Looks and feels like a school project
Rather than pointing out the numerous problems in this (homemade?) movie, a more important question would be if the fundamental philosophical issues raised somehow make the them irrelevant, merely an accessory tool for conveying a thought provoking message? No.ARQ
Guy gets caught in a time loop in which he must escape a house from evil people who want his time machine. Sort of.
Wittenberg
14-11-2018
Repitition can be repetitive
This movie made me appreciate those stuck-in-repeating-day movies more, for doing the same but keeping it interesting still. This one, however, is agonizingly repetitive, narrow and has a crawling pace and boring actors. Too bad about the snappy beginning a synth soundtrack.Fortress (2012)
Replacement co-pilot of a B-17 struggles not only with the war, but also with winning the trust and respect of the crew
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
Perhaps with a better story
Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.Paranormal Whacktivity
Sexually frustrated couple is haunted by ghost (also sexually frustrated)
Wittenberg
28-10-2013
A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad
Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.Fear Street part one: 1994
Mysterious killer kills youth
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
A hot mess
Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.Halo: Nightfall
A new type of enemy weapon emerges, so brave soldiers must go back to the Halo to resolve it. I think.
Wittenberg
09-11-2015
Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story
Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.Dark Space
Teenagers boost the spaceship taking them to a party planet, but in doing so they end up on a hostile planet where evil lurks.
Wittenberg
29-11-2014
A different writer please
I could have sympathized with this for some reasonable effects and designs, good intentions and the cute Saitek joystick prop. But they made it sheer impossible to do so, with appalling dialogue, hopeless characters and a world record amount of creature-flashes-by-the-screen-with-loud-sound scares.God's Not Dead
Christian student is forced to prove the existence of God by one of those malicious atheist philosophy teachers. There's also substories of other idiots (like cancer patients and muslims) finding God
Wittenberg
14-08-2016
but this movie is
I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.Deep Fear
A sailor rescues two shiprecked people, which leads into an ordeal of crime and shark invested waters
Wittenberg
24-03-2024
Another crap shark movie
When the lead is a pumped up bimbo with spot-on make-up even after two deepdives, shot in numerous preposterous shots to show her curves, a movie is pretty much lost. Add crappy acting and a poor script and it becomes hopeless. Two shark attack scenes were surprisingly ok compared to the rest of it.Shanghai Fortress
Shanghai defends against an alien invasion. With a big canon.
Wittenberg
31-07-2020
Arrogant empty shell
How the hell did they get such a big budget to make such bland, generic, lifeless movie? It radiates arrogance. The numerous 'emotional' scenes with cheesy minor piano chords fall flat completely because I didn't know or care who these people are!Alien Warfare
Specialforces team is scrambled to investigate what happened to some lab. (it was aliens!)
Wittenberg
30-08-2021
Almost abysmal
There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.Project Gemini
Spaceship sets out to find a solution for a dying earth, but winds up in an uknown location in space. Where evil lurks.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Not a catastrophy, but pretty bad
A very vague, sleep-inducing, poorly written scifi with some abhorrent dialogue made worse by the poor voice overs I got with it. At the very end there are some relatively interesting, slightly rewarding plot points, and I give an extra point for some fancy CGI/space scenes.Tabernacle 101
Dude dies and revives to prove there is no afterlife. Dark consequences result.
Wittenberg
10-07-2023
Maximum amateurism
I don't mind the similar story to Flatliners; it's an exciting concept there deserves be explored further, and is something that could work fine for a movie with little resources. Unfortunately, this is amateuristic to the core.Alien Space Battle
Spacemission to rescue a victim from a Mars mining accident gets involved in a alien threat to all mankind
Wittenberg
05-04-2023
Cute, sympathetic even, but not good.
Apart from the fantastic title and some passable CGI here and there, I could not find anything to recommend about it. The subpar actors continuously having to deliver anxious spacecombat jargon really got on my nerves. Also known as "Attack on Titan", but that won't save it.Deus
A spaceship travels to a mysterious sphere to investigate
Wittenberg
27-12-2022
Terrible scifi with insufficient but still present elements of quality
Apart from the outside space graphics, nothing else convinces in any way. Not the actors, not the ship interior, not the dialogues, not the music, not the directing, not the ship's plumbing. The story and twist are sort of interesting, but are unfortunately buried beneath the problems.400 Days
4 people spent 400 days in a mockup spaceship to test the effects of long term space travel. Will they keep their sanity... and what's going on outside?
Wittenberg
24-09-2016
Annoying
Right from the beginning I was incredibly annoyed by this. Everything and everyone is so phony, cheesy, unrealistic and slow. There's a pale spark of excitement in the whole 'what's happening' mystery, but I wonder if even the writers really knew.Somnus
The crew of a spaceship are in danger when the board computer turns rogue
Wittenberg
28-12-2017
Slow and bad looking
The atmosphere and some of the interior design were promising. But soon it dwells into endless, static conversations, misguided and pointless scenery (what were those jellyfish? What's with the train?) and increasingly worse visuals. With that creature on asteroid-city, they seemed to have given up.Device, The
Two sisters (and a douche) retreat to a sumercabin to overcome past trauma. But what they find only brings them extraterrestial misery.
Wittenberg
04-02-2015
It's plain bad
There are a lot of things wrong with this amateuristic scifi horror. Like the cheesy aliens and the many awkward overlong chat scenes. But the completely misleading, non-representative poster artwork is really criminal. Tssssk!Internship, The
With no relevant skills, two sacked salesmen enlist for an internship at Google.
Wittenberg
02-02-2014
404 humor not found
Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.Seance: the Summoning
Some teens comfortably go into a morgue to summon spirits between corpses, then seem frustrated if things getting scary indeed
Wittenberg
15-04-2018
Not even God can save this movie
A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
Pretentious, boring and annoying
I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.Gantz
Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident
Wittenberg
19-01-2020
I gave up
I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.Machine, The
Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of
Wittenberg
23-03-2015
Too boring, too B
While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.Rings
More people watch the cursed video
Wittenberg
08-10-2017
Lazy
What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the prospect of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.Kickboxer: retaliation
Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
You may skip this
I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.Doctor Sleep
Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl
Wittenberg
09-08-2020
Sacrilege yourself
Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.Andor
Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's
Wittenberg
11-12-2022
Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull
Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.Nun II, The
It's the Nun II
Wittenberg
22-12-2023
Good looking borefest with no story
Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.Alien Outpost aka Outpost 37
Mockumentary of soldiers in some outpost fighting aliens
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
Badly done scifi
A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.Project Ithica
A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
Gets tired quickly
Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.Witcher season 3, The
Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger
Wittenberg
12-08-2023
Dull
This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.Wolf Hound
Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown
This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.Book of Boba Fett, The
Boba is now a mayor
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
As if the plot wasn't bad enough
I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Unbearably loud
That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.Holly Kane Experiment, The
Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
You don't fool me
This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?Last Witch Hunter, The
Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
Boring and superficial
The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.Hellraiser 2022
A puzzlebox summons hellish bringers of torture and death
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
Yawning at cenobites
Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.V/H/S: Viral
A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
Messy
I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.Outwaters, The
Found footage of 4 friends who went into the desert and encountered various hardships
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
found random nonsense
First there's the usual get to know the annoying characters, then for a moment it's slightly interesting, only to then plummet into a mess of unclear, pointless, loud, endless and absolutely RANDOM events thrown at you because noone knew what this was about.Horsehead
A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
A failure
Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.Jurassic World: Dominion
People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs
It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.Movies found: 1046 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 16 - 65
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