BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

The Last Full Measure

Pentagon hotshot reluctantly investigates a request for a posthumous medal of honor, and gets more and more involved as he talks to the veterans

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-09-2020
5

Overdone

They managed to get a whole bunch a A-list actors giving all they got. But it feels overacted, over dramatized and forced down your throat. The clips during the end scroll demonstrate how veterans ACTUALLY talk. A noble cause for sure, but unnecessarily heavy-handed. Boring, even.
5

Monster Hunter

Army ranger accidently winds up in another dimension where she must fight monsters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
5

Awesomeness that left me cold

Such a potential premise, such a big budget, yet still so uninteresting and shallow. I thought only the finale back on earth was somewhat badass. The movie seems to look a lot like the game it was based upon, so perhaps fans will get more out of it.
5

Nightflyers

The crew on a spaceship, on it's way to make contact with alien lifeforms, finds itself in more and more peril as they come closer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2019
5

These poor series still contain enough mystery to make it worthwhile

So for this monumentally important mission, they assembled the most insecure, insubordinate, fashion-conscious and unstable crew they could find and make them improvise the entire mission in an insanely incoherent way. But apparently I love space mystery so much that I still watched it. All of it.
5

The Brothers Grimsby

Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2016
5

Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough

Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.
5

Silent Hill Revelation

Girl must save her father, who is trapped in a place full of demons

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-09-2013
5

Not as scary as it looks

This contains some very moody scenery and genuinely nightmarish footage. But the girl's plan is basically walking from one demon challenge to the next, and the rest of the story is either boring or incomprehensible.
5

Immanence

Scientists go on a boat to sea to investigate possible extraterrestial phenomena.. or is it divine phenomena?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
5

The story was there, the rest was not

I usually dig science babble, but coming out of the mouths of these guys it sounded ridiculous. And while the story had potential, I am afraid the execution fell short in many other fields as well. Confusing and weird, in a bad way. Clearly not filmed on sea, disguised by pitch black surroundings.
5

Moon 44

Pilot/cop goes undercover to a mining planet to oversee the convict pilots fighting of an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
5

A disappointing story in a cool scifi environment

The scenery, with it's dark and steamy hallways and spaceships, is remarkably like an Aliens, so that's good! The story though, is mostly convicts and and their navigators fighting, while the hero smokes cigarettes and tries to look cool - not really interesting.
5

Forbidden World

Astronout lands on a base where an alien experiment get out of hand

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
5

Didn't turn out to be a classic

I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.
5

jung_e

A team tries to create the ultimate warrior by recycling a brain into new cyborg bodies, but can't figure out why she keeps underperforming

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2023
5

Nothing much to make it work

A bit of a Korean take on Ghost in the Shell, this should interesting. But is is not. The action is utterly unconvincing, and I hated some of the characters who either over-acted or were just cringey and one-dimensional. The story attempts some quasi deep theme's but it all falls flat immediately.
5

Hungerford

Some roomies/friends try to survice, after space visitors turn everyone into zombies. Good thing one of them was just doing a film project.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2020
5

A minimal found-footage flick with annoying protagonist

I should sympathize with what they managed to create using very little resources, but it really was pretty basic zombie stuff. Some acted pretty good, some were ok, but the main character was a really annoying dude, and I started to despise his constant heavy breathing and drama.
5

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fox and friends engage in a war with local farmers when they steal chickens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2021
5

Did not push my buttons

It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.
5

Firestarter (2022)

Girl tries to control and live with her ability to set things on fire, but evil people make her loose her cool

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2022
5

Left me cold (that punchline is probably taken)

One of those movies that, on the face of it, looks quite solid and adept, and makes you wonder why you're not enjoying it more. I think her parent's additional paranormal abilities get in the way of an already uninspired and even boring story that fails to ignite. (That's probably also taken.)
5

Reminiscence

When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2021
5

half decent idea failed

The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.
5

The Matrix 4: Resurrections

Neo, living in the matrix again as a guy who made a matrix game, goes back into the matrix to save Trinity, who is in the matrix.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-02-2022
5

This time, the mindbender is the movie itself

I am not sure how a 4th sequel could have worked or what I wanted from it, but surely it wasn't this. I hate the lazy self aware 'meta' approach and the revisiting of classic moments. Nothing really works anymore, I cringed multiple times. An odd misfire, which makes you wonder how this came to be.
5

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

Found footage from a Korean ghost hunting documentaryteam, who get what they are looking for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-01-2024
5

Scares drowned in annoying team

There is a handful of chilling scenes near the end, but by that time I was too worn-down by the, once again, obnoxious team of selfcontent vloggers. I was getting really tired of the fullscreen close-ups of their sobbing faces, amidst a minimalistic and random story.
5

The Soul (2022)

Prosecutor dying of cancer takes on a murder case that reveals dark secrets and transplants of more than just cells

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2022
5

Probably a brillant story but failed in presentation

I can appreciate the deep, well thought out story that stacks several layers of twists on each other, providing a real thinker of a crime story with perhaps a dash of horror. But it is presented so slowly en depressingly that I struggled to notice or care - and to stay awake too.
5

The Grudge

Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
5.5

A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas

On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.
5.5

The Nun

A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
5.5

Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story

While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.
5.5

Kill Command

Future space marines go train against robots in the woods, but then the robots start to become agressive beyond the program.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2016
5.5

Nice robots though

Some guys were quite adept at making some good scifi designs and robotics, but not at making a movie around it. The combat lacks tension, performances are underwhelming, there's a lot or repetition and I fell asleep twice.
5.5

Risen

Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
5.5

Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions

The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.
5.5

The Temple

Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
5.5

They forgot to write it

I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.
5.5

Carnage

Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
5.5

Great idea didn't work

A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.
5.5

Resident Evil: damnation

A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
5.5

Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless

It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?
5.5

Carrie (2013)

Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
5.5

Identical yet inferior to the original

Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.
5.5

The Unholy

Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
5.5

Fair story just not exectuted well

The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.
5.5

Color Out of Space

Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
5.5

A bit vague and improvised

It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was over
5.5

Hercules

Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
average 5.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
5

Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please

I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...
5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2014
6

A bit boring

The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.
6

The Huntsman: Winter's War

An alternative, side-story story situated around the area and events of the snow white fairy tale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2017
5.5

Nothing to stand out or excite

I think the good intentions are there, but I found it rather flat and uninvolving, appearing rather insignificant next to giants like The Lord of the Ring.
5.5

Incantation

A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
5.5

Too messy

There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.
5.5

A Good Day to Die Hard

McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
5.5

Boring high-octane action. Huh?

Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.
5.5

The Great Raid

In WW2 soldiers undertake a daring missing to rescue prisonors from the Japanese Abanatuan camp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-01-2017
5.5

Felt like a movie, not a war rescue mission

I don't mean to sound disrespectful about this amazing operation, but I wasn't to keen on this movie. I constantly felt I was watching actors playing soldiers and prisoners, with unrealistic over rehearsed lines ruining the mood. The cliched and disconnected 'war movie music' didn't help either.
5.5

Terminator Dark Fate

More or less the original story but with more females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
5.5

No

Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.
5.5

Windtalkers

Marines are reluctantly tasked with protecting native american soldiers and their ability to transfer indecipherable messages

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2022
5.5

Did not age well

I think it made an impression as a war movie in the day, but I fear it has aged poorly. The acting and dialogues can be quite corny, the emotional scenes induce cringe, and the action is almost laugable with the hero shooting from the hip and all bad guys instantly drop dead.
5.5

Expiry

A couple fails to have children before the expiry date of their relationship, then a bracelet makes physical contact impossible

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2021
5.5

Too thin

This almost sort of worked, as a minimalistic, futuristic story of a forbidden relationship. But after a while it starts to loose momentum, the therapy sessions (?) with some sort of HAL computer seem endless and pointless and the final escape scene brings it to amateuristic levels.
5.5

Murder Mystery 2

Murder solving couple takes a much needed break on a distant island, but soon enough they're at it again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2023
5.5

Formulaic slapstick with too little good jokes

I can see what they are going for, and objectively all the ingredients are here for a shot of uncomplicated amusement. I just thought the jokes were not all that, and everything is so safe, formulaic and predictable it feels like you have already seen it - and will forget about it tomorrow.
5.5

House of Wax

Group of friends winds up in a desolate town where the wax museum holds a horrible secret

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-06-2023
5.5

original subject can't generic horror formula

The wax subject is quite original and caters for some reasonable horror moments. The subject feels slightly underused though, but that's not the main problem. That would be the same old cast of pretty young adults behaving generically, unrealistically and rather tiresomely.
5.5

Khanzab

A girl tries to solve the mystery of her father's violent death, and black magic curse surrounding her family

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
6

Good scares for some scenes, but not an entire movie

I was looking forward to experiencing the Indonesian take on horror. There are some moods and scenes that are quite intense, but they repeated until they loose their effectiveness. The story gets quite messy and the spirits pop in like puppets a haunted house at the fair.
6

Replicas

When a memory transfer scientist looses his entire family in a car crash, he attempts to get them back by cloning them, including their mind

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-08-2019
6

Mostly a missed opportunity

It's a good idea but never really takes off. Everyone seems disconnected and indifferent about what's going on, it lacks the eerie or fascinating ambience I would expect with a story like this, and it has got one of those annoying air computer interfaces, operated by ridiculous hand movements.
6

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

The chipmunks fear that their dad's love interest might lead him to abandon them, so they set out to sabotage the engagement.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2016
6

Ok for kids. An endurancetest for adults.

Sure, it's an uncomplicated fun adventure, kids will get some fun out of it, and let's not forget the effects blending so seamlessly we don't even notice them anymore. But a kids movie equally suitable for adults, this is not.
6

Let Her Out

Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2019
6

Doesn't do itself justice

The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.
6

Hippopotamus

With no memory, a girl awakens in a room with a man telling her she can't leave until she loves him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2023
6

A fair puzzler missing class

Nothing wrong with these low budget movies in a single location, where you'll grow eager to find out how it all came to be. The story is also reasonably well thought out and offers some layers near the end. But I found both the actors and direction missing intensity and depth.
6

Tau

Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
6

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows

While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.
6

Mine

After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2017
6

Overreached

A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.
6

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
6

I thought it'd be warmer

The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.
6

White House Down

Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-10-2013
6

Quality goes down too

Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.
6

Dark Shadows

Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
6

Surprisingly boring

Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.
6

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-08-2019
6

Hit and miss. Loads of them.

I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.
6

The Great Wall

Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
6

A popsicle

It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.
6

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
6

Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem

Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.
6

Bloodshot

Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
6

Lacks characters to make it work

With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.
6

Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 146 - 195

Previous Next