Let's call it art

Listen, I really tried to look at this as a completely homemade, completely amateur movie, but even then I did not find any redeeming qualities. Maybe it's deliberately trying to be as bad as can be, so that it becomes art or intoxicating. I must admit I felt weird after watching it.

Crap without a savior

All I tuned in for was annoying teenagers being eaten. And while that certainly is the case, this movie still manages to disappoint. It fails to latch on to any redeeming factor of such movies, like fun, gore, tension, great fx or jump scares. Nothing. Infuriating and totally unbelievable.

Heinous

A dreadful montage of vague ideas and slow, disconnected actors driving around in big cars doing whatever, with music desperately trying to make it remotely exiting. It is almost impossible to keep your attention to this and not fall asleep. The prologue was oddly interesting by comparison.

Not frosty

All this is are shaky shots of soldiers making their way through the jungle, delivering an (often bizarre) stream of military speak and cliches as they go along. Stay frosty! Some of the make-up effects of dismembered limbs are the only thing of any quality.

A weird failure

Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.

The worst of the eighties

A remarkable exhibit of the worst movie elements from the eighties, brought back to life in the new millennium. Acting, stereotypes, script, humor - all appalling and outdated - accompanied with eighties film music to top it off. Cage must have owed someone a favor!

Unbearingly boring

Possibly it was trying to say something deep. But this barrage of long, pointless, repetitious scenes, goofy acting and plywood set pieces was just god-awful and made sure I didn't care what it was. A shame, because a journey to the end of the universe sounds so freaking amazing.

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.

If you can reach the right state of mind, it could be mind blowing

I knew what I was getting into, and was ready for the abysmal to turn into laughter, fascination and/or admiration. But I started to realize you probably need some friends and beers to reach that state, but on my own I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself.

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.

It lives up to it's title

So yeh, everything is bad about this movie. But it's not snugly enough to reach the elusive so-bad-it's-good status, even though it was off to a good start with the deep cleavage power babes piloting the subs.

Very cheap - in more than one way

Once she arrives, the only thing that awaits are very long, uninteresting conversations, sub par acting and an empty slow plot in which not much is going on. The poster artwork is completely misleading and does not represent actual footage from the movie. Boooh.

Make sure you are drunk first

I bet that if you got drunk, and watch this with some friends, who are also drunk, you could fall into a state of endless uncontrolled laughter. Other than that, we are in Sharknado territory quality wise, but without it intentionally trying to be silly (I think).

Dead on arrival

It doesn't pretend to be much, and it doesn't even try or care either. It feels like they gave up hope pretty early on, and just had everyone running through the same hallway until they were done with it. Utterly empty.

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.

Not even God can save this movie

A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.

404 humor not found

Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.

A tiresome mess

So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.

Repitition can be repetitive

This movie made me appreciate those stuck-in-repeating-day movies more, for doing the same but keeping it interesting still. This one, however, is agonizingly repetitive, narrow and has a crawling pace and boring actors. Too bad about the snappy beginning a synth soundtrack.

Looks and feels like a school project

Rather than pointing out the numerous problems in this (homemade?) movie, a more important question would be if the fundamental philosophical issues raised somehow make the them irrelevant, merely an accessory tool for conveying a thought provoking message? No.

Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story

Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.

Perhaps with a better story

Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.

but this movie is

I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.

A hot mess

Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.

A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad

Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.

A different writer please

I could have sympathized with this for some reasonable effects and designs, good intentions and the cute Saitek joystick prop. But they made it sheer impossible to do so, with appalling dialogue, hopeless characters and a world record amount of creature-flashes-by-the-screen-with-loud-sound scares.

Arrogant empty shell

How the hell did they get such a big budget to make such bland, generic, lifeless movie? It radiates arrogance. The numerous 'emotional' scenes with cheesy minor piano chords fall flat completely because I didn't know or care who these people are!

Almost abysmal

There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.

Not a catastrophy, but pretty bad

A very vague, sleep-inducing, poorly written scifi with some abhorrent dialogue made worse by the poor voice overs I got with it. At the very end there are some relatively interesting, slightly rewarding plot points, and I give an extra point for some fancy CGI/space scenes.

Annoying

Right from the beginning I was incredibly annoyed by this. Everything and everyone is so phony, cheesy, unrealistic and slow. There's a pale spark of excitement in the whole 'what's happening' mystery, but I wonder if even the writers really knew.

Slow and bad looking

The atmosphere and some of the interior design were promising. But soon it dwells into endless, static conversations, misguided and pointless scenery (what were those jellyfish? What's with the train?) and increasingly worse visuals. With that creature on asteroid-city, they seemed to have given up.

Cute, sympathetic even, but not good.

Apart from the fantastic title and some passable CGI here and there, I could not find anything to recommend about it. The subpar actors continuously having to deliver anxious spacecombat jargon really got on my nerves. Also known as "Attack on Titan", but that won't save it.

Terrible scifi with insufficient but still present elements of quality

Apart from the outside space graphics, nothing else convinces in any way. Not the actors, not the ship interior, not the dialogues, not the music, not the directing, not the ship's plumbing. The story and twist are sort of interesting, but are unfortunately buried beneath the problems.

It's plain bad

There are a lot of things wrong with this amateuristic scifi horror. Like the cheesy aliens and the many awkward overlong chat scenes. But the completely misleading, non-representative poster artwork is really criminal. Tssssk!

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.

Fascinating AND yawn inducing

This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.

Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources

If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.

Uninspired and stolen

A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.

Too boring, too B

While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.

Lazy

What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.

I gave up

I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.

Pretentious, boring and annoying

I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.

You may skip this

I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.

Badly done scifi

A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.

Sacrilege yourself

Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.

Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull

Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.

You don't fool me

This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?

Gets tired quickly

Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.