BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so am I! |
Insidious: The Red Door
Father and son forgot their trauma through hypnosis, but when the son goes to college, the past comes back.

Wittenberg
09-04-2024

Uninspired and uncapable
An utterly uninspired attempt to do some more with this franchise. It looses any creepiness early on, only to continue with a tiresome, slow and predictable waste of time.Cycle
Astronaut (?) wakes up in a place and needs to find a way out before a fog runs over it.

Wittenberg
21-05-2022

Fascinating AND yawn inducing
This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.Assasins Creed
Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple

Wittenberg
02-05-2017

Stupid and liveless
I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.The Rebels of PT-218
During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline

Wittenberg
22-08-2021

Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources
If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.Inseminoid
A researcher on an alien planet is inseminated by something mysterious and then terrorizes the entire base

Wittenberg
29-12-2024

Close to 80s cheese, but not close enough
This got pretty close to the campy but highly entertaining 80s scifi bargain-bin material I have grown to like, but the endless scenes of people running around pointlessly through the same hallways, doing vague actions according to a vague script, ruined things a bit.Twisters
After a trauma caused by a Hurricane accident, a scientist reluctantly returns to do more dangerous hurricane research

Wittenberg
21-08-2024

Annoying
My God these self content tornado junky's, screaming yihaa as they drive into a hurricane, are annoying as hell! I didn't buy anything that happens in this movie, was constantly annoyed and just didn't feel any thrill at all. Sometimes, a movie presses all the wrong buttons.Death Valley
Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place

Wittenberg
20-12-2021

Uninspired and stolen
A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth

Wittenberg
15-06-2013

Unbearably loud
That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars
It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.

Wittenberg
25-10-2017

Ruined by the characters
Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.Something in the Water
Just before a wedding, four girlfriends make a trip to an island in waters with sharks

Wittenberg
16-02-2025

Minimalistic
Sometimes I think people underestimate how difficult it is to make an amusing shark movie But having four not so interesting characters sobbing and floating for an hour isn't the way. It's all very minimalistic and forgettable, especially the shark encounters.The Starving Games
A parody of guess which movie

Wittenberg
21-08-2015

A turkey of the second kind
A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems

Wittenberg
07-01-2024

No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the prospect of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse
Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening

Wittenberg
05-08-2015

ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie
For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.Kickboxer: retaliation
Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion

Wittenberg
12-05-2022

You may skip this
I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.Catwoman
Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.

Wittenberg
04-06-2014

Maybe girls like it
The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.Gantz
Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident

Wittenberg
19-01-2020

I gave up
I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.Andor
Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's

Wittenberg
11-12-2022

Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull
Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.The Nun II
It's the Nun II

Wittenberg
22-12-2023

Good looking borefest with no story
Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.Transformers: Age of Extinction
The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.

Wittenberg
30-10-2014

near torture
This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.Doctor Sleep
Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl

Wittenberg
09-08-2020

Sacrilege yourself
Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.Rings
More people watch the cursed video

Wittenberg
08-10-2017

Lazy
What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.The Machine
Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of

Wittenberg
23-03-2015

Too boring, too B
While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.The Witcher season 3
Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger

Wittenberg
12-08-2023

Dull
This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.Renegades
Navy seals divert from their mission to recover lost nazi gold form a Bosnian Lake

Wittenberg
07-06-2021

blub blub
Instead of the nail-biting, claustrophobic movie the storyline caters for, it came out surprisingly dull and lame. Characters are boring, nothing really works, pacing is off, music is off, story totally implausible. It sinks even further when it tries to be witty.Occupation Rainfall
On an alien invaded earth, humans and some alied aliens set out find a mysterious rainfall that can save humanity

Wittenberg
03-07-2022

Tiresome scifi bonanza
There's actually some okay stuff here and there: some effects, some scenes, some concepts, some designs. But it's just so bloated and hysteric, like they wanted to include everything they could think of and barf it onto you in an endless stream. Very tiresome.Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Man - who is also a burning skeleton motor cyclist - must rescue boy who... ah whatever

Wittenberg
24-02-2013

Burning boredom
If looking at a burning skeleton hero obliterating devil scum is still boring and liveless... something must be wrong.Cryo
People wake up - prematurely? - from their cryo tubes and need to find out who's who and what's happening

Wittenberg
21-04-2024

Nice story. Now what we need is a good script.
The premise, including the twist at the end, is decent enough. It's just so dull, long and low budget that I was struggling to stay awake.Geostorm
Mankind built a space system to keep the extreme climate in control, but then it starts to make things worse instead of better

Wittenberg
23-02-2018

All things wrong with big Hollywood productions
A terrible film that checks all the boxes of overblown Hollywood-Michael-Bay like hysteria, stupidity and shallowness.The Black Demon
A family vacation winds up on a decommissioned oilrig with a huge shark patroling the waters

Wittenberg
01-01-2024

Lacklustre, even for a a shark movie
For some reason big shark movies get a pass for not being of much quality, but even so this one is a bit problematic. There was a lack of inspiration to do actual sharks scenes, so there's a lot of chatty fillers about the environment and vague folklore. Some subplots even seemed abandoned.The Call-Up
Some gamers are invited to play a game in a lifesize simulated environment. It's all fun and games, until people actually die.

Wittenberg
07-01-2018

No twist?
I liked how it was all set up and some of the music in the beginning. But soon enough it is evident that the actors or screenplay are below par. But what bugged me the most is that they missed the opportunity to add some double layers and twists into the story, of which I can easily think of some.Orphan: First Kill
The woman who looks like a child infiltrates the first home to go for the kill

Wittenberg
28-12-2022

Pointless and boring prequel
Many people were impressed bu apparent plot twist, but I was very bored with this empty shell, and found the acting was quite problematic. Adults acting like children is always so over the top, like they act like a caricature of a generic child. Weird and cringy.Gods of Egypt
Exhiled Horus gets a change to reclaim his crown with the aid of a mortal thief

Wittenberg
04-10-2016

Nice demo
Looks and feels like a computergame. Come to think of it, games nowadays have more interesting en deep characters than this painfully boring, flat and hollow production. It's always an embarrassing experience when so much is going on and you don't care about any of it.Manifest
A plane disappears and reappears, to find that the world has progressed five years and the passengers have not

Wittenberg
06-08-2022

Afwul soap barely kept afloat by a vaguely interesting story
The mysterious event was enticing enough to drag me through the first season, but barely so. The problem is the incredibly soapy style of the actors, cinematography and pacing. Cheesy perfect persons constantly walking into the scene at the right moment to seamlessly join the conversation. Ugh.Ender's Game
A youngster is the chosen one to be trained as spacefleet admiral and repell alien threat

Wittenberg
24-07-2014

Kids in space
These kids are trained for space command by having them play a pointless Harry Potter floating game! This unwatchable movie is full of such nasty face palm moments, burying the sharp looking visuals deep beneath the surface. "He has a complicated response to authority" - who talks like that?IO
Woman is trying to find cures for a dying world, but an uninvited stranger urges her to join him and catch the last rescue ship into space

Wittenberg
19-01-2019

Sympathetic but very boring
I really tried to get into the flow of this slow-burn movie, as a small, delicate an intimate story about big issues. But boring is boring, and the quasi-meaningful dialogue and cascade of pointless scenes made me yell COME ON too many times.Into The Storm
Tornados

Wittenberg
31-12-2014

Cloaked with bad decisions
The question is: can you handle obnoxious teenagers with all kinds of uninteresting teenager problems, an unlikely crew of unlikable people, stiff acting and a pointless handheld camera approach in exchange for a few amusing tornado shots? Well, can you?Away
Mum goes to Mars. Away from her family.

Wittenberg
08-11-2020

Soggy family drama with occasional space things
Don't get tricked into thinking this is a scifi adventure. This is a soap opera, featuring an insanely uncooperative and unprofessional crew, bitching and moaning and solving tedious problems like the water supply and the flue. Back on earth, there is slow nagging family drama and diseases. Ugh!Movie 43
Teenagers scout the internet for a movie that doesn't exist, taking them through various bizarre movies as they go

Wittenberg
28-01-2014

fascinatingly unfunny
In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.Cars 2
McQueen and Mater get caught up up in a spionage and racing adventure.

Wittenberg
27-07-2013

Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something
Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.The Gorge
Two snipers are hired to prevent things living in a mysterious gorge from coming out

Wittenberg
19-05-2025

Pretty dumb
What was happening inside the gorge seemed somewhat interesting - I don't know it was so dark - but the rest of the movie, the love story and the whole premise, seemed pretty dumb to me. I didn't buy any of this nonsense nor did I care about the main characters - unrealistic and hollow stereotypes.Warning
A bunch of (related?) stories, with perhaps future technology and mankind as a central theme

Wittenberg
28-11-2021

Vague unrewarding stories
Incomprehensible at first, I got some ease of mind when I realized it's just some vague ideas and separate stories glued together in a movie. In itself still a feasible concept, but in here it was just a bit pointless and directionless, without any payoff.Cocaine Bear
Various people in the woods have to deal with a bear addicted to cocaine

Wittenberg
16-04-2023

Cult is hard
It is going for a cult status with an over the top story, a bit of gore, humor and loads of colorful, quotable characters. But I found none of these components particularly successful, and the pacing seems off as frankly I got quite bored with it.Magellan
Astronaut on a lone mission to investigate signals suddenly coming from various locations in our solar system

Wittenberg
23-09-2021

Unable to compensate for the little resources it had
An irresistible story and some of the space graphics are not too bad. But they contrast starkly with the amateuristic 'interior' of the spaceship, and the bizarre procedures of the space flight and handling of possible alien artifacts (plastic bag?). I also missed a point or clue to any of it.The Phoenix Project
Four scientists in a garage try to revive dead animals

Wittenberg
08-03-2015

Experiment failed
This could and should have been a geeky mind bending gem like Primer. But it is achingly slow at times, the science is underpowered and the scientists behave unnatural. Especially that Carter guy, who single-handedly wrecks this movie with really painful, unwatchable and ridiculous overacting.The Exorcist: believer
After a midnigth visit to the woods, two girls need exorcism

Wittenberg
13-01-2024

Boring, messy, silly and not scary
I was already getting bored with exorcism movies, and this is one certainly isn't turning the tables. The only novelty is that there are two victims at once, and three people doing different kinds of exorcisms at once, which turns into a mess, looks ridiculous and none of it seems to do anything.Infini
Rescue squad gets transported to a distant space base to save the last survivor

Wittenberg
26-02-2017

Looong everyting
Occasionally it strikes a chord, but EVERYTHING - be it people talking, staring, chasing, monologuing, contemplating, fighting, briefing or debriefing - takes so freaking long it starts to mess with your mind.Replicator
When the misbehaven father of a lawyer suddenly is nice, she discoveres a dark supernatural reality

Wittenberg
25-05-2025

Some good ideas burried deep
I wonder how the same team that came up with the decent story like this, who even did something interesting with the theme of sound - although I am not quite sure what - managed to turn it into such a poor movie. The biggest problem are the wooden dialogues and actors delivering them.I, Frankenstein
Frankenstein's monster's chosen profession, being alive and all, is demon hunter. Together, with gargoyles!

Wittenberg
09-06-2014

Pointless and quite uninteresting
The creation of the monster is briefly told in flashbacks while the opening titles are still running. The fact that he is Frankentein's is hardly relevant. He is basically a strong, civilized dude fighting demons, in a dull and stiff copycat of Underworld and Van Helsing Gothic stylistics.The Pope's Excorcist
... does an excorcism

Wittenberg
25-06-2023

By the book
It may try to add some extra's to the genre with the dungeon and what not, but mostly it feels like a textbook exorcism that is so by the book that you wonder why they bothered. Not scary, overacted, not interesting, I almost reached for my phone.The Mummy
Modernday thief digs up a mummy that wasn't supposed to be found, for good reason

Wittenberg
27-12-2017

Underperforms in many fields
A surprisingly boring flick that feels like it was made ten years too late and does a lot of things wrong. I was especially annoyed by the humorless role of the female interest, it never got scary or tense and it severely lacked some good music.Andromeda
A man is called by Nasa to travel (?) into outer space to find a new home for mankind

Wittenberg
29-09-2024

A poor movie about big ideas
Well there definitely are some wild ideas about space travel, even if they feel made up as they go. The problem is the presentation; guys needlessly standing in the dark, problematic dialogues and a lack of flow and good story telling. Hard to stay awake with.Nutcrackers
A business hotshot unexpectedly needs to take care of his hillbilly nephews. It's just for the weekend.

Wittenberg
29-12-2024

Familiar story without new inspiration
Something in the atmosphere feels off, the jokes tend to fall flat, it lacks a punchy script and dialogues. If you're going to do such a predictable story, at least make it good.Banshee Chapter
A woman investigates the dissapearance of an old friend, who took a mysterious drug that allowed him to see... them

Wittenberg
05-12-2024

A semi-found footage flick that's messy and fails to impress
The mysterious broadcasts were creepy, I wish they had stuck with that. Instead it was a pointless addition to an underdeveloped story that actually got a bit boring at times. That reporter guy out-acted everyone and therefore almost seemed in the wrong movie. Misleading artwork too.Other Life
Scientist invents memory injections, but when it is used against her the line between real and artificial memory starts to blur

Wittenberg
27-12-2017

Lifeless
Nothing wrong with the idea, but it is let down by the miscasted lead playing the cocky, cold emo-scientist. The story is also annoyingly vague, and not in the intriguing, mind-bending way I was hoping for. A few days after watching this, my wife asked how it ended and I had no idea what to say.Capsule
Astronaut depens heavily on radiohelp from earth to get his faulty capsule to return home

Wittenberg
06-11-2016

A lot more was required to make it this bold idea work
A bold mov(i)e which almost exclusively shows the astronaut strapped in his seat. But the amateuristic, jumpy astronaut, the repetitious dialogues and unconvincing procedures are way insufficient to make it work. There's a twist at the end, but if you made it that far you'll probably no longer care.Parallels
A mysterious phonecall from a missing father leads people into a strange building that opens up to alternate earths

Wittenberg
12-02-2017

Nice idea poorly executed
Love the basic idea, but it's executed poorly with rather annoying young adults delivering really bad lines and making everything seem hopelessly amateuristic.Jiu Jitsu
Man with memory loss appearantly is member of a team fighting a (very) Predator-like alien from another dimension

Wittenberg
14-02-2021

Nope. Still a B movie.
With steady reference to a comic book, some boldsy camera work and heaps of crazy martial arts this might have winded up being smirky and fun. But it is mostly tedious and bizarre, and the lead character appears to have been typecasted as a universal B movie karate dork.The Requin
Couple with issues hires a luxery villa on poles in the sea to get away from things, until a storm rips it off and drift them onto open sea. With sharks.

Wittenberg
15-03-2022

Too many issues
It's usually nice to view these disasters from the comfort of a lazy chair, but this one has too many issues. Fake effects, cheap and obvious use of stock material, subpar acting, overall implausible events and a really skewed sense of distance, depth and location in the sea.The Acolyte
A Starwars crime detective story involving twins with a mysterious origins and a hunger for revenge against the jedi

Wittenberg
19-07-2024

An unnecessary, unremarkable and average starwars show
I did not think it was AS bad as the internet thought it was, but I did think it was extremely average on all counts. Most noticeably, you can only shrug when it's over because it doesn't feel like a starwars story, it didn't need to be, and it doesn't seem to affect it any way.Kin Dread
Traumatized guy, confined to a room making soundseffectcs, discovers something strange in his apartment and about his past

Wittenberg
14-11-2021

Could't follow or care
There might be a clever and interesting idea in here, but I am afraid it didn't quite come out for me. It was just to hard to follow, too vague to make sense and often got stuck like a car in a the mud.Eerie
A girl school is haunted. The school psychiatrist (?) tries to find out how this came to be so.

Wittenberg
08-03-2024

A tiresome, unscary horror with nothing new to offer
The low saturated colors give this movie a somewhat tight and professional look, but that's just superficial. The truth is that it has only a very loose script and tired cliche horror moments on offer. It really got quite boring and stopped being scary early on.Fifty Shades of Grey
Woman falls in love with mysterious and wealthy man, but he has sadomasochistic desires

Wittenberg
17-07-2016

What a turnoff
Mostly a boring soap opera where they speak in Hollywood cliches. Their relationship is ice cold and unconvincing. The woman is confusingly flip flop towards the SM, and the corresponding scenes are bullshit as they kept it 'romantic' and pretty to look at. A feather? Really!?Meg 2: The Trench
More troubles from Megalodons, as well as other beasts that emerged from the depths. And from Russians.

Wittenberg
11-09-2023

This doesn't work for me anymore
Perhaps these movies are actually very hard to make. I mean everything is stupid, dumb, unfunny and manic, and yet still needs the reach the mystical threshold for being 'so bad it's good' or 'uncomplicated popcorn fun'. I, for one, am too grumpy and old for that to work any longer.Parallax
A couple struggles with the depression and apathy of the woman, which turns out to have a mind bending cause

Wittenberg
22-09-2024

Weak potentials denied
There might be some interesting layers and scifi conundrums at the end, but you'll have to make it through the terribly slow, gutless and stale first hour to get there, after which I was too exhausted to notice or care.Warriors of the Future
Furure earth is polluted AND invaded by an alien plant, but high tech warriors attempt to use the plant to their advantage.

Wittenberg
10-12-2022

Cool action without a soul
Sure, there is some smart looking, pretty bad-ass exo-suit/robot/hi-tech warfare in here. But the movie is another truly awful Chinese attempt to copy dumb blockbuster vibes, boring characters, unclear action and yawn inducing cliche crap. Shit man, spend that money and CGI skills more wisely.Insurgent
In a future where people are living in factions based to their personalities, a group of rebels aim to break these boundaries

Wittenberg
14-02-2016

Can you make it till the end
I am afraid I loathe these 'young adult' future novels as of late. I can't stand these plastic, one dimensional people living in these ridiculous worlds doing unlikely stuff, always looking oh so pretty as they go along. The only savior are the imaginative and classy 'sim' scenes near the end.Saw X
When fraudulent people take advantage of the SAW mastermind's cancer, he subjects them to his sinister traps

Wittenberg
23-02-2024

Stupid movie that pushed the wrong buttons with me
Were the victims in the previous parts also bad humans, getting what they deserved? I can't remember, but I found it far fetched and dumb. I reached a state of irritation, meaning I also found all these traps ridiculous. I mean how much time would each cost to even set up correctly? I'm out.Riddick
After being left for dead on a hostile planet, a ship full of mercenaries is Riddicks's only way off the planet

Wittenberg
15-02-2014

A B-movie in disguise
Non-stop pretty, but also painfully slow, tedious and full of uninspired really poor dialogue. They are too eager to portray Riddick as a mysterious, ubercool, enigmatic hero, instead turning him into an unsympathetic showoff.The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
The paranormal detectives try to trace the orgins of a boy's evil curse, apperantly to use as defense in a court case

Wittenberg
11-07-2023

A lacklustre horror/thriller/detective story
While it may be original, I did not find the detective/court story very appealing. A bigger problem is that it doesn't really get scary or under your skin. It's a bit nasty and loud, and left me way more indifferent than a horror movie ought to.Ahsoka
Ahsoka and apprentice must stop evil warlord from returning from exhile

Wittenberg
08-10-2023

Pretty bad
I liked some of the spaceships, and some characters I like too. But unfortunately, the main characters, Ahsoka (with her unbearable smirk) and Sabine (look at me I am a rebel), were unbearable. Also, poor combat, poor plotline, slow pacing, and even more useless stormtroopers abound.Reminiscence
When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up

Wittenberg
06-12-2021

half decent idea failed
The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.The Matrix 4: Resurrections
Neo, living in the matrix again as a guy who made a matrix game, goes back into the matrix to save Trinity, who is in the matrix.

Wittenberg
28-02-2022

This time, the mindbender is the movie itself
I am not sure how a 4th sequel could have worked or what I wanted from it, but surely it wasn't this. I hate the lazy self aware 'meta' approach and the revisiting of classic moments. Nothing really works anymore, I cringed multiple times. An odd misfire, which makes you wonder how this came to be.The Brothers Grimsby
Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way

Wittenberg
11-12-2016

Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough
Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum
Found footage from a Korean ghost hunting documentaryteam, who get what they are looking for

Wittenberg
21-01-2024

Scares drowned in annoying team
There is a handful of chilling scenes near the end, but by that time I was too worn-down by the, once again, obnoxious team of selfcontent vloggers. I was getting really tired of the fullscreen close-ups of their sobbing faces, amidst a minimalistic and random story.The Monuments Men
In WWII, a specialized group sets out to save artworks from destruction or being stolen by the nazis

Wittenberg
07-09-2014

A very boring movie
A moviesubject in danger of being boring. And despite the A-list of actors and undoubtedly good intentions, I am sorry to say that it is.The Soul (2022)
Prosecutor dying of cancer takes on a murder case that reveals dark secrets and transplants of more than just cells

Wittenberg
29-05-2022

Probably a brillant story but failed in presentation
I can appreciate the deep, well thought out story that stacks several layers of twists on each other, providing a real thinker of a crime story with perhaps a dash of horror. But it is presented so slowly en depressingly that I struggled to notice or care - and to stay awake too.Hungerford
Some roomies/friends try to survice, after space visitors turn everyone into zombies. Good thing one of them was just doing a film project.

Wittenberg
13-11-2020

A minimal found-footage flick with annoying protagonist
I should sympathize with what they managed to create using very little resources, but it really was pretty basic zombie stuff. Some acted pretty good, some were ok, but the main character was a really annoying dude, and I started to despise his constant heavy breathing and drama.Evil Dead Rise
The book of the dead finds it way to a family living in an appartment

Wittenberg
05-06-2023

Uninspired and not scary enough
While it tried to be open minded about it, I did find a hard to have a true Evil Dead vibe without a cabin in the woods. More importantly though, this thing just wouldn't get scary for me, and even bored me at times. It's all a bit uninspired, and most of the characters I didn't care for much.90 Minutes in Heaven
A priest experiences heaven after a car accident, but is prayed back to live and now faces a long medical recovery

Wittenberg
05-01-2025

Heavy handed drama with insufficient payoff
I was hoping for some interesting footage or concepts about heaven, but this mostly a long, quite boring Christian medical drama. The heaven stuff does come up, but it's banal and unremarkable. There was one live lesson that stuck with me though, which is more than I can say about most movies!The Watchers
A girl gets lost in an unmapped forest and finds shelter with other stranded people, who hide from something lurking in the dark

Wittenberg
15-09-2024

Unconvincing and not scary
Some story elements are somewhat interesting, but most of them are rather far-fetched and childish. But the bigger problem is that it's not scary at all, and feels almost like scary movie for kids. Too scripted, too little room to breathe.Echoes
A woman goes back to her hometown when her identical twin sister is missing, and then a lot of twin things happen

Wittenberg
23-10-2022

A good idea implemented rather plainly
To have a crime and mystery revolve around twin sisters, making you guessing who is who and who did what, is not a bad idea. But it is done rather unimaginatively, making me indifferent instead of intrigued, and is based on rather soapy themes like family feuds, relationships and horses.Deadpool & Wolverine
They need to figth some evil person to escape some evil place with the help of other heros and so on and so forth

Wittenberg
12-11-2024

A two hour long fart
I still think I get this humor, and could enjoy the anarchy and meta self awareness. But mostly it feels like two hours of immature teen jokes. Everyone's invincible so the fighting is pointless and boring as hell, and the story is just completely irrelevant. Hmmm, maybe I don't get it after all.The Cellar
Family buys old house with an evil attic. I mean cellar.

Wittenberg
21-08-2022

A museum of horror cliches
There were some ideas that could potentially make this horror stand on it's own feet, and a handful of moments I liked. But for the vast majority of time this is smothered and glued together by a plethora of horrormovie cliches, as if they were checking them on a mandatory list.Long Distance
A hybernating space traveller is ejected onto a planet, where he must find a way to survive various dangers and rescue other survivors

Wittenberg
23-01-2025

Not so great
Well I guess someone had to try mixing space horror with comedy, but I found it terrible and it felt like a last resort when they realized this film wasn't going to fly. The continuous intercom conversations are weird and tiresome, the action hardly exciting and very 'only in movies'.Godzilla: King of the Monsters
More huge titan monsters are awoken, and only Godzilla can restore the balance

Wittenberg
09-06-2019

Humans ruined earth AND this movie
Ruined by hollow, cringy and unfunny characters that speak exclusively in kitsch onelines and are monster experts, submarine commanders and anything else that comes their way. The monsters can't save it either, because, while fairly good looking, their fights are hard to follow and uninteresting.Ghost in the Shell: The New Movie
I think it's about cyborg major leading a team to resolve the assassination of the prime minister

Wittenberg
12-03-2017

Too complicated, not enough magic
It kept some of the magic of the original, but what it kept mostly is endless incomprehensible techno/politics that I could not stay focused on. It's not bad looking, but most of the art of the first movie is no longer here.Subservience
With his wife in the hospital, a man takes in a robot nanny. Gee I wonder will all be okay.

Wittenberg
06-10-2024

A pretty tired take on a familiar story
It finds very little to add to the familiar story of androids becoming hostile, being predictable and plain. Perhaps the erotic tension earns it some credits, even though that could have been miles better too. Fox was cold, even for a robot. Madeline Zima was the warm highlight of this movie.Silent Hill Revelation
Girl must save her father, who is trapped in a place full of demons

Wittenberg
08-09-2013

Not as scary as it looks
This contains some very moody scenery and genuinely nightmarish footage. But the girl's plan is basically walking from one demon challenge to the next, and the rest of the story is either boring or incomprehensible.Cerebrum
A man comes to help his father with his experimentens involving memory downloads, getting him into deep

Wittenberg
19-06-2025

An explosive idea that is a drag to get through
I've never struggled more with finishing a movie as much as this one. But something about the story was so promising, had such potential for satisfying mindfucks, that I kept trying. To no avail - the execution and characters remain dull, and the direction gutless that it feels it takes forever.USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage
This ship went on a secret mission to deliver the atomatic bomb, but was sunk on the way back, leaving the few survivors in hellish waters

Wittenberg
26-02-2017

Overreached
This movie's overblown ambitions of doing war, drama, survival, courtroom and romance contrast sharply with bad fx, uninspired screenplay, half-baked actors and dodgy editing. I was bored watching those men get eaten by sharks, which can't be right!Kalki
Good versus evil epic scifi kind of thing

Wittenberg
02-10-2024

Abort
I don't want to review movies I did not watch in it's entirety, but I am not sure I would have survived this exhaustive mix of epic but fake looking stuff, a dissonant slapstick hero amidst serious themes and a cardboard feel to everything and everyone, with nothing to care about.Divinity
I think it's about two angels coming to earth to stop mankind's obsession and potions for living forever

Wittenberg
30-12-2024

You can't fix a lacking story with art
Only at the very end the movie gains some momentum, and I actually liked the stop-motion scenes in there. But up until that point it is rather slow, vague and pleased with itself - so much so that the finale is unable to make up for it.The Phoenix incident
You know those 4 skatedude guys who went missing in Arizona? It was aliens man!

Wittenberg
23-12-2015

Too shaky
Hurah! It's not just found footage; it's loud, noisy and restless shaky footage too. Which makes this mockumentary, shoving a conspiracy down our throat, rather tiresome and lame.The OA
A missing blind girl one day returns with sight, and an amazing story about the afterlife she entrusts to a small group of people

Wittenberg
25-12-2023

Problematic, but the premise may pull you through
Another Netflix endeavor with a mysterious story that is only just able to make you watch the whole thing, but requires you to sit through excruciatingly slow passages and episodes, flat one-trick characters, many dubious plot-points and even some crinche here and there. The twist felt uninspired.Sweet Home
A group of very different people in an appartment building is faced with fighting monsters

Wittenberg
23-02-2021

The characters hit a nerve I did not know I had
The groundwork was promising; colorful cartoon-like imagery, pleasantly weird monsters and potentially interesting group dynamics. But none of the people is particularly likable. In fact I started to despise many of them up until the point I could no longer watch it. Never had this before.Dark Cloud
Traumatized girl gets experimental therapy by being secluded in a house run by an artificial intelligence

Wittenberg
31-07-2022

Too tedious and uneventful
The story is familiar, but one that always seems open for a new interpretation, and it's a story that can work just fine with limited budget like this movie. Unfortunate, this one failed. It is mostly tedious, slow and uneventful, and lacks the philosophical or technological wit to make it deep.Captain America: Civil War
All superhero's turn on each other for some reason

Wittenberg
11-11-2016

More boring and emotionless over the top stuff
In endless talking scenes, which made my son decide to watch something else, all sorts of story-lines from other movies are desperately and uninterestingly brought together. The battles are frantic but boring because noone ever gets hurt. And I still don't care about anyone.la Brea
Some people fall through a sinkhole into another time. Can they be saved?

Wittenberg
14-03-2025

A great story brought with a very articial style
The story is irresistible, but the execution is not. Super flat and clean looking characters that play blatantly obvious and stereotypical roles in the group, artificial and pampering dialogues, and full of scenes with people and events that happen at exactly the right time.Synchronicity
Small teams get a timemachine to run work, one of them gets caught up in paradoxes

Wittenberg
17-06-2018

The story is there. Execution is not.
There's probably a really clever, if not somewhat difficult to follow, story in here. But the really lackluster execution, dull performances, suspiciously limited locations and depressing dark colors made me struggle to care... no matter how much bladerunner music they throw in!Flatliners (2019)
Med students have themselves killed and take a peak at the afterlife before they are reanimated. But all is not fun and games.

Wittenberg
24-08-2019

Same problem as the original, executed worse
Like the original, the concept is awesome but I still find the clue rather dull and unsatisfying. Worse, in this version some of characters are quite annoying, some of their lines rather cheesy and the scares copied and uninspired. I was waiting for everyone to just say sorry and get this over with.Movies found: 1210 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 71 - 170
Previous Next