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Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
6.5

A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there

In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.
6.5

Captain Harlock: Space Pirate

In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
6.5

Just enjoy the pretty graphics

Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.
6.5

Sense8

Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
6.5

Too long for it's own good

After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.
6.5

Megamind

Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-11-2015
6.5

Ok humor space adventure

A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.
6.5

Outpost, The

Surrounded by high ground, US soldiers in Afganistan try to survive in this highly untactical basecamp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-08-2020
6.5

Generic characters having an intense firefight

This is being applauded for it's realism, but unfortunately that meant for me that I remained somewhat indifferent during the long intense finale, because up until that point all they were were cursing, chit-chatting, anonymous soldiers. Armadillo WAS realism and had relatable, likable people in it.
6.5

Mutant Girl Squad

A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
6.5

Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring

I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.
6.5

Prityazhenie (Attraction)

A spaceship crashlands in Russia

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2017
6.5

part fresh , part meh

I was quite impressed with the fresh sights and sounds at first. But then the story collapsed, the army's plan was apparently to just drive around forever so it was up to some annoying street kids to handle this event. Meh.
6.5

Predator, The

The predators are coming back to earth. The good, the bad and the loony try to deal with it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2019
6.5

Too much over the top nonsense stuff, taking away the magic

It was good to hear the predator music again, but not the rather cringe worthy lines delivered by the cliched and over the top characters in this movie. How did the biologist turn into a skilled commando instantly? The spacedogs - I don't know... just too many things not quite right in here.
6.5

Free Birds

Turkeys travel back in time to wipe their species from thanksgiving menu forever

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
6.5

Somehow it didn't really work.

It's a vibrant, original, good looking adventure with plenty of good jokes... yet still it doesn't quite take off. Something flat and distant remains, and maybe relating to turkeys in a time machine is just a bit too much to ask.
6.5

Jellyfish Eyes

Boy and his mother move to a place where the children have little creatures, which they can later use against a great danger

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-09-2023
6.5

A unique but ultimately aimless movie

While the bizarre and colorful little monsters projected on a real world provide an original en wholesome experience, I had trouble getting into this movie. It's too childish for adults, but too lifeless and down for children. Not to keen on some of the acting either.
6.5

XX

4 short horror stories directed by women (but I wonder if that ought to be noteworthy)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-05-2017
6.5

ha that's nice okay next one

Seeing some shorter stories was a nice for once, and there was an addictive quality to them to make you do one more. Quality of the stories was somewhat inconsistent and none of them struck me as particularly great, More like: ha that's nice okay next one.
6.5

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV

Superwarriors defend the good people from the bad people who are after the crystal that empowers the good people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-06-2023
6.5

A strange but not necessarily tasty mix

Unfamiliar with the Final Fantasy lore, I needed some time to digest the mix of knights driving Audi's in a futuristic world. I liked some of the designs though, and halfway through the story got pretty exciting. But ultimately, the confusing action scenes and hollow characters didn't do it for me.
6.5

Coma

Man wakes up in a comatose world, consisting only of chunks of memories... and malicious beings that hunt for him and other like him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-05-2021
6.5

Boredom in a spectacular world of ideas

One of the coolest and original ideas I've seen in a while, and it looks as cool as the idea itself is. It is therefore all the more frustrating and disappointing that I kept falling asleep. I am guessing it's the boring, over-simplified characters and the vague, pointless missions they set out for.
6.5

Days, The

Series about the Fukushima disaster

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-02-2024
6.5

Surely this was more nerve wrecking?

We followed this series with interest, but it felt like it failed to capture the terrifying race against time this must have been. There's a lot of staring, sitting around, hesitation and discussion. An on-point observation about Japanese culture perhaps, but I wonder if it went this way.
6.5

Forest, The

Woman heads off to japan to find her twin sister, who was last seen wandering into suicide forest Aokigahara

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-09-2016
6.5

A missed opportunity

Considering the terrifying setting of the movie, I was quite disappointed that it only had rather mundane, predictable and mostly pointless jump scares to offer. It's not too bad, but hopefully not the final word in movies situated here.
6.5

Samsara

A collage of scenes from around the world, loosely connected by the theme of the circle of live

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
6.5

Easy

It's a marathon of non-stop pretty wallpapers for your desktop. There's no mistaking the outstanding visuals and suitable music, but simply sticking it together also felt like an easy win. Perhaps some more courage or risks would have helped.
6.5

Eye (2008), The

After an eye transplant, a woman starts seeing strange and unsettling things

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2013
6.5

Sits a bit too comfortably in contemporary horror

Some okay moments and ideas can't hide the fact that we are getting getting used to this new japanese style horror thing.
6.5

Silence, The

When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
6.5

Does what it needs to, but not much more

It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.
6.5

She Will

Older moviestar and her nurse go to a secluded place to recover, but the spirit of witchcraft still lingers there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
6.5

Great atmosphere, lacking story

It laid down a promising groundwork for a modern witchcraft tale, but I felt it ran out of ideas and became a somewhat uneventful movie not really going anywhere, and without a satisfying ending.
6.5

After Yang

A man tries to get his broken droid and familymember fixed, and finds out a deeper level in it than he realized

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-11-2023
6.5

Atmospheric but ultimately too thin

Saturated with a mellow and melancholic atmosphere that almost gets you in a dreamy state as well. I appreciative how it's more of a wandering, soul-searching sort of poetry than a clear-cut story, but ultimately I found it too thin on substance to make a lasting impression.
6.5

Unicorn Wars

Adult animation about colorful bears slaying their sworn enemy: unicorns

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-01-2024
6.5

Irresitable concept but hard to like

The bizarre story and bloody cartoon violence promised a unique experience, but I found the bears too unlikable and too annoying for this, so it was hard to live the moment with them. The finale partially makes up for it, offering something of a more profound experience.
6.5

Cosmopolis

During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
6.5

Mindbending by chit chat

I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.
6.5

Aporia

A widow gets her husband back by using her friend's machine that perhaps failed at time travel, but can kill a person in the past

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
6.5

Slowish and sober, but still a worthwhile time puzzler

I am quite a sucker for these sober, intimate, low-budget movies that still deliver a clever story and time travel puzzles. This one did indeed fall into that category, although it was a bit lackadaisical and perhaps too minimalistic.
6.5

Cruela

How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
6.5

Well made, just not much in here for me personally

This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.
6.5

Blair Witch (2016)

Armed with 7 million camera's, a brother sets of to find his sister who disappeard in the cursed woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2017
6.5

The formula is still scary, but you start to look through it

This felt scary but over-familiar, and the realism achieved by the found footage started to feel very unrealistic instead. I mean who the hell carries this many cameras and shoots this much at these insane moment? Kudos though, for some of the actors enacting deep deep fear in the finale.
6.5

Extracted

A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
6.5

Great idea, somewhat dull

A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.
6.5

Colossal

A woman finds that, at certain locations and moments, she is the monster invading Korea. That's right folks.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2017
6.5

Great idea with little energy in it

The mad story is a joy and pleasantly stubborn. Execution and actors were fine, there just was something very low-energy about it all, that prevented it from becoming as great as the idea itself. The biggest surprise for me was actually the intense acting displayed by Jason Sudeikis.
6.5

Poughkeepsie Tapes, The

Various involved people talk you through the horrible contents of the videotapes of a sadistic serial killer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2019
6.5

Nicely set up, but what for?

The fact that I looked up whether this was based on a true story means it was somewhat convincing and it definitely has it's moments, but overall it felt mostly like torture porn of the kind that makes you wonder why you are watching it. But perhaps that's always the case with torture porn.
6.5

Machete Kills

Even the government needs Machete

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
6.5

Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.

I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.
6.5

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension

It's about ghostly activity all caught on camera

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2018
6.5

Fresh in the wrong place

They invoke some more obvious, frequent and in your face material, which I can understand was necessary to breath some live into the formula. But the slow, nail biting chance of maybe catching a glimpse kind of was the point. So now it starts to er towards a regular horror glued by jumpscares.
6.5

Dead Space: Downfall

Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
6.5

A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else

Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.
6.5

Cabin in the Woods

Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
6.5

Good idea with not much else going for it

Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.
6.5

Equalizer, The

Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2015
6.5

Old fashioned (in a bad way)

A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.
6.5

Rim of the World

Stereotype kids on a summercamp become friends as the try to stop an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2019
6.5

Not without problems, but ultimately entertaining enough

People rightfully pointed out the tired stereotype kids and cliche events. I'd add the unnatural jumps in the editing and uncomfortable adult jokes that make it unclear who this movie is for. But despite all this, it still did amuse me and my kids as the children adventure it mostly sets out to be.
6.5

Amazing Spider-Man 2, The

Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
6.5

Stunning and tiresome

There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.
6.5

Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass), The

Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
6.5

Too much mysteries

Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".
6.5

Ip Man

The (true?) story of a Kung Fu master who stood up against the Japanese during ww2.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
6.5

Good and bad things from China

It's not always an easy watch because of that painful Chinese overacting and slapstick performances that make it feel like a farce. But as the war begins, the colors fade and gradually it strikes a more serious and interesting tone, and the elaborate superfast kung fu keeps it afloat.
6.5

Triada

Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
6.5

A couple of problems, but still enjoyable

We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.
6.5

Black Sea

Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
6.5

Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow

With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.
6.5

Kadaver

Live is drab in a postapocalyptic world, so a family is eager to receive a free meal and attend strange performance play in a hotel...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
6.5

Mostly missed

It deliverers only partially in the endless possibilities for layers and plot-twists. Worse, the level of fear and tension seem to be on the same level constantly, making you immune/saturated after a while, and a little indifferent as well. But I'd still call it decent and original.
6.5

Lovely, Deep and Dark

A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
6.5

Another good idea without a strong script to carry it

The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.
6.5

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Working class kid is selected to for secret agent training, just in time to prevent a major world threat

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2015
6.5

A weird mess with some ok action

Maybe if I had known beforehand about this a messy mix of blood spills, James Bond cliches, an annoying teenager with a cap on and a ridiculous story, I would have felt the vibe and enjoyed this more. But since I had not, I was clueless about what this was supposed to be.
6.5

Sputnik

Sputnik cosmonauts crash on earth, one of them is carying something unearthly with him. A doctor is asked to investigate.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
6.5

A bit slow

While subjects like this are always a killer, and I liked the Russian take and atmosphere for a change, I found the movie to be rather sluggish. There's a lot of talking and walking through the hallways with too little excitement or tension, nor did I find everything very credible.
6.5

47 Meters Down

Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2018
6.5

Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)

The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.
6.5

Dracula Untold

Vlad needs extra powers to save his town and people, so he drinks the blood from a dark figure and becomes a vampire.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2015
6.5

Nothing really good, nothing really bad

I can appreciate how it doesn't overdo things, but at the same time it doesn't excel in anything either. It's all a bit flat and muffled. And you know, maybe vampires are not that scary or impressive anymore.
6.5

Captain Underpants

When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
6.5

Ok, but a bit timid

Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).
6.5

Escape Plan

A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
6.5

Too cliched to be great

The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.
6.5

Home Alone 3

This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
6.5

Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?

With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.
6.5

Shutter

Couple finds ghost like smears and images on their photographs

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2018
6.5

Fine, but too formulaic to become really scary or noteworthy

Good idea to base a horror story around these ghostly images, and the actors, the Japan setting and general quality seem up to par. It just feels like it came too late, for we can now sort of guess how these stories unfold, including some lame jump scares I wish it would have risen above.
6.5

Deep House, The

Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
6.5

Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals

This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.
6.5

Avengers: Infinity War

All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
6.5

What a mash

In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.
6.5

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

Knock at the Cabin

A family in a cabin gets visited by four people who demand something unimaginable in order to prevent something even more unimaginable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Entertaining but ultimaltey unsatisfying mystery

Sure enough, the story made curious and entertained. But I was not blown away. I guess some of the actor are a bit meh (not Bautista though!), the super conveniently timed TV broadcast were lame, and I guess I missed a twist of some kind. Part of me thinks the twist was that there was none.
6.5

Dragon's Dogma

When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
6.5

A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great

The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.
6.5

In the Earth

Two scientists go deep into the woods to find a lost colleague, where they face mystical natural phenomena

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2023
6.5

Could have used some more focus and excitement

I like it when things get sciency, and it goes well with natural presentation and some slow burning. But in this case, it can be a little too dull, and the story lacked a focus. It felt like it invented itself as it went on.
6.5

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexandes wishes that for once his family could experience the awful bad luck has usually has during the day

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2015
6.5

A bit too constrained

I expected some more anarchy and mayhem with a title like that. Now it is a funny but rather tame and polite comedy with too few standout jokes and all kinds of morals and lessons to boot.
6.5

Cloverfield Paradox, The

A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
6.5

Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.

An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?
6.5

Hotel transylvania 2

Will the halfbreed vampire child have vampire abilites? Turmoil in the monster hotel.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2015
6.5

Like a an amusementpark ride

A very animated, lively fun movie that is cramped with jokes. So much so I thought it was exhaustive and it felt as though the bombardment of jokes was camouflaging the absence of a strong story or characters to bind with. Fun - but instantly forgettable.
6.5

Advantageous

Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
6.5

Different, interesting but very slow

A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.
6.5

Sinister 2

Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
6.5

The movies in this movie are better than the movie

The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.
6.5

Skyline

Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
6.5

Good looking B movie

An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?
6.5

Pompeii

Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
6.5

Fine, but not all it could have been

Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.
6.5

San Andreas

Dad needs to search and rescue his ex-wife and then his daughter in the aftermath of huge earthquake

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-02-2016
6.5

Too Hollywood

A technically sound, mostly good looking disaster flick, served with the typical cardboard characters, an omnipotent superhero, drenched in a sauce of Hollywood cliches. It ends with them staring across the sunset with an American flag waving nearby. yay!
6.5

Sex Tape

Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
6.5

Little more than it's own tagline

Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.
6.5

Kong: Skull Island

Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
6.5

It's all there but...

Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.
6.5

Adrift

Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019
6.5

Ruined by constant flashbacks

For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.
6.5

Nocebo

A woman gets sick after being biten by a tick, so she seeks help from her Filipina household who uses folklore on her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Fair enough, but lacks intensity

It's a decent movie with a twist that, even though you can see it coming, gives it some depth. It's just that it never becomes really scary or intense. It remains a bit lightweight.
6.5

Mulholland Drive

Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
6.5

Should have triggered me, but didn't

The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.
6.5

Bright

Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
6.5

A not entirely succesfull mixture

It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.
6.5

In the Tall Grass

Pursuing cries for help, a brother and sister get lost in a field of tall grass - where weird stuff is going

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2019
6.5

Lacks the quality to make it last

It's an interesting idea, but would require a clever story and/or great actors to make it work for the entire duration of a movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have neither, so after a while and starts to loose appeal. Bonus points for trying though.
6.5

Rain, season 1, The

Girl and her brother try to survive in a world destoyed by deadly rain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2023
6.5

Mostly ok, but too familiar, too annoying

There was something overly familiar about the concept of these abandoned city's and rivaling factions. On top of that, most characters and their actions annoyed too much to really get into the first few episodes. Halfway through it kind of happened, only to be let down again by a lackluster finale.
6.5

Scanner Darkly, A

Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
6.5

Less than meets the eye

The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)
6.5

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
6.5

Tries everything except being scary or exciting

Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.
6.5

Interview, The

Dodgy network channel gets the chance to interview the leader of North Korea, and are asked by the CIA to kill him in the progress

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-02-2015
6.5

Another okay-ish comedy

Given the the actors, plot and possibilties, I expected more of this. Besides a few laughs, there's also very long periods with not much in it, and the movie can be hysteric and a bit embarrassing at times.
6.5

Barbarouse Mexico

Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
6.5

Gritty but pointless

The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.
6.5

Finch

Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
6.5

A nice tale that had slightly more potential

It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.
6.5

Tombraider

Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
6.5

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good

It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.
6.5

Cidade Invisível

After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
6.5

A bit plain

The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.
6.5

Dark skies

Family is being visited by aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
6.5

Greys don't have much to say

Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.
6.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

Blue is the Warmest Color (La Vie d'Adèle)

Girl becomes lesbian

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-02-2016
6.5

Beautiful but too long and too slow

You have to admire how the gorgeous lead actrices carry this story with beautifully authentic acting. But everything takes so freaking long in this movie, everything is so spread out that in the end even the intimate love scenes started to bore me.
6.5

Like Father

When her groom walks out just before the wedding, the bride ends up drunk and taking her long lost dad on the honeymoon trip

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
6.5

Nothing stands out

It's got the actors, humor, story line and locations, but all in very restrained, save and average portions, making this a rather average affair. Not bad, but could have used some more spices for my taste.
6.5

Evil Dead (2013)

Kids go into the woods to rehab a friend Then they find a book and unwillingly release hell.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-06-2015
6.5

Slashing that still leaves you indifferent

As a cabin slasher it appeared solid and effective, yet I couldn't really get scared or excited by it. Characters too dull and silly, story too well known.
6.5

Stalingrad

In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
6.5

Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat

A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.
6.5

Approaching the Unknown

A skilled engineer and solo astronaut must handle numerous challenges during his the voyage to Mars

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-11-2016
6.5

Sober scifi with a few letdowns.

It has a lot going for it, like a nice techy (but not necessarily realistic) theme and a pleasant, sober approach that doesn't do cheap thrills. On the downside, the main actor is not really sympathetic, and the single 'capcom' guy plainly sitting behind a desk was just silly and cheap.
6.5

Taking of Deborah Logan, The

Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
6.5

Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary

This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.
6.5

Darkest Hour, The

Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
6.5

A floating light can only be so scary

The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.
6.5

Rampage

Retired military man running a gorilla shelter, must save the city form mutated monster animals.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
6.5

Fine for what it is

Based a a videogame with no story to speak of, this movie came it surprisingly well (as in: this could have been much much worse). It's a mindless but fun action blockbuster like most Dwayne Johnson movies, and it works well enough as long as your expectations are realistic.
6.5

Casshern

In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
6.5

A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it

With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.
6.5

Archive 18

Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
6.5

Not quite

It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.
6.5

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
6.5

Tiresome spectacle

A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.
6.5

Deep Ones, The

Couple rents a place by the sea, but the strange hosts soon drag them into strange rituals involving some sea entity (Cthulhu!)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-07-2021
6.5

Not scary, but perhaps that wasn't the point. An ode to horror?

Acting and camera work is so clunky that it sometimes feels like you're watching porn. But when I also heard the 50's classic 'whistle' mystery music style I began to suspect they were aiming for a certain atmosphere. It sort of works: it's campy and entertaining. But scary or intense, it is not
6.5

Choose or Die

Girl gets caught up in a mysterious vintage game that makes people make horrible choices

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
6.5

Some entertainment, but not great

For a horror it doesn't really scare much, and overall execution is a little underwhelming. The way the game interacts with the real world seems inconsistent and not very well thought out. But well, there are some new ideas and it does provide some basic amusement value.
6.5

Osiris Child, The

Pilot must save his daughter from a planet overrun by vicious beasts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2019
6.5

Bits and pieces

At times this has some pretty graphics, some decent acting and some passable action scenes. But if also features some annoying characters to ruin things, and as a whole felt a bit directionless, and empty.
6.5

Colony, The

Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
6.5

Frozen B-movie

The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.
6.5

Maleficent

The fairytale of sleeping beauty with a few of twists added

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2015
6.5

Beautiful fairytale without impact

At times pleasing to look at, and Jolie is excellent as well. But it combines mystery, children's humor and more darker tones, resulting in a movie that fails to leave a lasting impression in any of these fields.
6.5

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

After being sold an abused as a sex slave, a nun sets out to take revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
6.5

Nice and campy

Much like Tarantino movies, it shamelessly celebrates campy, violent, badly acted, poorly edited movies taking please in sweaty Mexican style landscapes. It does so quite well, but it also doesn't do much more than that. And the guns weren't that big either.
6.5

Sully

On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
6.5

Over dramatized

The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??
6.5

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
6.5

A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie

What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.
6.5

Kin

Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
6.5

Too slow and mixed up

Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.
6.5

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