BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
A.I. Rising
For a long journey, a cosmonaut will be accompanied by a female android engineered to his taste
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
ok, but would have benefited greatly from better writing
With just a some fairly modest modifications in the dialogue and story line, such as more profound elements of philosophy, existentialism, psychology and perhaps some horror, this would have been great. As it stands though, it still is a decent sci-fi tale.Snatched
When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem
I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.Rambo Last Blood
Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Not the right rambo movie for me
I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.May December
An actress parts up closely with the woman she is going to portay in her next movie, and with her secrets
Wittenberg
26-01-2024
Great acting and built-up leading to nothing
A movie filled with a solid cast that are a pleasure to watch, and a story that has the sensation of slowly building up to a climax of some sort. But I don't think it did. Instead it left me with a feeling of being cheated, and wondering what I had been watching.Orbita 9
Woman on a long solo space mission gets a visit from a mechanic, after which she learns the true nature of her mission
Wittenberg
08-08-2021
Nice scifi with a twist. One twist - early on.
With a plotline that it's impossible to describe accurately without ruining it, this is a pleasant scifi done just fine. It's just that, after the big twist it's, sort of de-energizes a few notches. When the big reveal is almost at the beginning, it's harder to keep us hooked.Paradise
In a future where people can sell years of their live for money, allowing the rich to get younger, a couple gets caught in a web
Wittenberg
28-04-2024
A fair but plain future crime story
A fine futuristic crime story providing adequate friday-evening entertainment. I did find everything was a bit plain, lacking energy or a really tight script. It needs a better, less generic title too.The Liberator
A squad comprised out of people from very different backgrounds fighting in the second World War.
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Looks unqiue, but it's not quite there
The half-drawing, half real-life filter make it look unique, and is a great idea for making epic scenes on a lower budget. The action scenes were good, but the dialogue not so much, and it frequently does emotional and sensitive dives which I found a bit forced and cliched.Asteroid City
A small desert town with wandering souls gets a visit from space
Wittenberg
16-07-2023
Objectively great, subjectively empty
I'd be happy to applaud the artistic value, the conspicuous characters, the fantastic colors and the bold cinematography. But ultimately, I could not process it. I could only stare at it, telling myself to enjoy it's objective quality and audacity, yet feeling quite uninvolved and untouched.The BFG
Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Lovingly made but not immersing
I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.High Life
Survivor on a spaceship tries to take care of a babygirl. Slowly we learn what preceded this situation, and what comes after.
Wittenberg
19-04-2022
ok as a slowburning, artistic scifi, but hardy delivers a payoff
The decor hardly reminded me of a spaceship, but I presume the creators thought this was irrelevant to the sophisticated story they wanted to tell. And while I was interested and enjoyed this 'alternative' scifi, it was also arrogantly slow and even the word pretentious came to mind.Peppermint
When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own
Wittenberg
03-03-2019
Exchanging the sexes isn't enough
This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.Play Dead
A girl fakes death to get into a morgue, where she needs to retrieve evidence against her brother. But there is unsuspected danger inside.
Wittenberg
11-11-2023
Maybe too long and too unlikely, but still a thrilling ride
The premise and story are far-fetched, and I thought the acting lacked finesse. But this still manages to roll out quite an exciting, pretty tense thriller/horror for the most part. Unfortunately it drags on for too long, becomes tiring and even more implausible. Still, enjoyable stuff.1899
A ship with migrants find another ship that went missing, and it all gets stranger and stranger from there
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
A potential gem plagued by avoidable problems
This almost is a successful, super mysterious puzzler with an intense atmosphere, but I found it was let down too much by one-trick pony characters that become parodies of themselves, infuriatingly ineffective communication and strange decisions and logic throughout. The events even felt improvised.What Happened to Monday?
In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?
Wittenberg
12-05-2019
Gimmicky
While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.Lucid Dream
A man tries to find his kidnapped son by reliving the moment in lucid, and later also shared, dreaming
Wittenberg
28-05-2018
Disappointing
The awesome idea turns out to be mostly a rather plain detective/crime story, and the way the whole dreaming thing was supposed to be working seemed rushed and like they didn't really care too much either.The Consecration
A woman travels to a monastry to investigate the mysterious death of her brother
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
Lacked impact, but ended well
The ending and big reveal near the end are pretty good, but the movie really has trouble getting there. It was a bit unlikely, flat and lifeless, and failed to harvest the creepiness of monasteries and it's rituals. She didn't even react to those nuns lying on the floor, for crying out loud!Ichi The Killer
A ganster mob routine of torturing and killing people gets disrupted by a mysterious killer that leaves the rooms soaked in blood and guts
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
A torture movie for research rather than enjoyment
I actually got used to the torture scenes of amputations and various acts with sharp objects. I actually became somewhat interested in, and empathized with, the mysterious killer. But mostly I still felt sick and depressed rather than amused after watching this.The Kill Team
A soldier situated in Afghanistan comes into conflict with himself and his squad when they appear do unprovoked assassinations.
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Wish I felt it more, but adept
I am not sure how realistic this was, and found the sergeant a little too wacky to be credible. But overall the story kept my attention and did a reasonable at depicting the dilemma of loyalty versus morals - although I do think they could have hit harder.Troll
A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
Only the monster is unique
Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.TrollHunter
Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway
Wittenberg
11-11-2013
Could have been much better if we believed in any of this
The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.Maze Runner
Not knowing why, a guy wakes up in between fellow victims - all surrounded by a giant maze with monsters in it
Wittenberg
11-07-2015
Improves with age
Upon first viewing I was annoyed by unnecessary vague way everyone talks and the focus on their petty problems instead of the maze itself. And while these problems are real, upon second viewing the core adventure - with some mystery, action and horror - became more evident and enjoyable.Doors
Four individual stories that take place on earth where mysterious a substance known as doors make people dissappear
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Pleasantly weird (but not great)
The overall experience isn't great. It lacks emotional involvement or a clear story a character to hang on to. Like the makers didn't quite understand it either. But there's something sympathetic about it. I like the effects, and it is kind of pleasantly weird, doing it's own thing in a ballsy way.Downsizing
Couple decides to shrink and live in a world or other shrunk people, in pursuit of happiness and for sustainability of earth
Wittenberg
22-12-2019
Disappointing second half
Up until they are shrunk, this is set up really nicely, putting in effort to make this idea work and making me eager to find out what's next. But then the story takes a u-turn with a slightly whiny, society critical theme, a horribly overacting Vietnamese, all making the smallness sort of pointless.Maggie
Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie
Wittenberg
26-06-2016
Sympathetic but hollow
I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.Dummie de Mummie en de tombe van Achnetoet
After a Dutch children's book, in which a family takes their fostered mummy-son to Egypt so he can find his roots
Wittenberg
13-11-2017
A save harmless watch for the kids
A mellow, save and relaxed story with some adventure and giggles but nothing too crazy.Captain Harlock: Space Pirate
In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
Just enjoy the pretty graphics
Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.Free Birds
Turkeys travel back in time to wipe their species from thanksgiving menu forever
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Somehow it didn't really work.
It's a vibrant, original, good looking adventure with plenty of good jokes... yet still it doesn't quite take off. Something flat and distant remains, and maybe relating to turkeys in a time machine is just a bit too much to ask.Area 51
Armed with camera's , some teens attempt to sneak in area 51 and catch a glimps of what's in there
Wittenberg
13-08-2015
Great idea doesn't quite deliver
A clever idea that could have yielded some scary footage. Unfortunately, the teens in question are bit bland and unsympathetic, their efforts for this stunt are a bit over the top, and once inside it's a bit too messy and rushed to deliver true scares. Should have been toned down a little.Tides aka The Colony
Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
Promising beginning, so-so rest
Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver
The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there
In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.Mutant Girl Squad
A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring
I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.Sense8
Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Too long for it's own good
After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.The Eye (2008)
After an eye transplant, a woman starts seeing strange and unsettling things
Wittenberg
02-02-2013
Sits a bit too comfortably in contemporary horror
Some okay moments and ideas can't hide the fact that we are getting getting used to this new japanese style horror thing.Megamind
Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain
Wittenberg
01-11-2015
Ok humor space adventure
A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.The Outpost
Surrounded by high ground, US soldiers in Afganistan try to survive in this highly untactical basecamp
Wittenberg
30-08-2020
Generic characters having an intense firefight
This is being applauded for it's realism, but unfortunately that meant for me that I remained somewhat indifferent during the long intense finale, because up until that point all they were were cursing, chit-chatting, anonymous soldiers. Armadillo WAS realism and had relatable, likable people in it.XX
4 short horror stories directed by women (but I wonder if that ought to be noteworthy)
Wittenberg
08-05-2017
ha that's nice okay next one
Seeing some shorter stories was a nice for once, and there was an addictive quality to them to make you do one more. Quality of the stories was somewhat inconsistent and none of them struck me as particularly great, More like: ha that's nice okay next one.Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
Superwarriors defend the good people from the bad people who are after the crystal that empowers the good people
Wittenberg
06-06-2023
A strange but not necessarily tasty mix
Unfamiliar with the Final Fantasy lore, I needed some time to digest the mix of knights driving Audi's in a futuristic world. I liked some of the designs though, and halfway through the story got pretty exciting. But ultimately, the confusing action scenes and hollow characters didn't do it for me.Coma
Man wakes up in a comatose world, consisting only of chunks of memories... and malicious beings that hunt for him and other like him
Wittenberg
30-05-2021
Boredom in a spectacular world of ideas
One of the coolest and original ideas I've seen in a while, and it looks as cool as the idea itself is. It is therefore all the more frustrating and disappointing that I kept falling asleep. I am guessing it's the boring, over-simplified characters and the vague, pointless missions they set out for.The Days
Series about the Fukushima disaster
Wittenberg
20-02-2024
Surely this was more nerve wrecking?
We followed this series with interest, but it felt like it failed to capture the terrifying race against time this must have been. There's a lot of staring, sitting around, hesitation and discussion. An on-point observation about Japanese culture perhaps, but I wonder if it went this way.Prityazhenie (Attraction)
A spaceship crashlands in Russia
Wittenberg
13-11-2017
part fresh , part meh
I was quite impressed with the fresh sights and sounds at first. But then the story collapsed, the army's plan was apparently to just drive around forever so it was up to some annoying street kids to handle this event. Meh.The Predator
The predators are coming back to earth. The good, the bad and the loony try to deal with it.
Wittenberg
13-01-2019
Too much over the top nonsense stuff, taking away the magic
It was good to hear the predator music again, but not the rather cringe worthy lines delivered by the cliched and over the top characters in this movie. How did the biologist turn into a skilled commando instantly? The spacedogs - I don't know... just too many things not quite right in here.Cosmopolis
During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
Mindbending by chit chat
I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.Jellyfish Eyes
Boy and his mother move to a place where the children have little creatures, which they can later use against a great danger
Wittenberg
03-09-2023
A unique but ultimately aimless movie
While the bizarre and colorful little monsters projected on a real world provide an original en wholesome experience, I had trouble getting into this movie. It's too childish for adults, but too lifeless and down for children. Not to keen on some of the acting either.After Yang
A man tries to get his broken droid and familymember fixed, and finds out a deeper level in it than he realized
Wittenberg
08-11-2023
Atmospheric but ultimately too thin
Saturated with a mellow and melancholic atmosphere that almost gets you in a dreamy state as well. I appreciative how it's more of a wandering, soul-searching sort of poetry than a clear-cut story, but ultimately I found it too thin on substance to make a lasting impression.Cabin in the Woods
Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
Good idea with not much else going for it
Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
Stunning and tiresome
There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.Unicorn Wars
Adult animation about colorful bears slaying their sworn enemy: unicorns
Wittenberg
15-01-2024
Irresitable concept but hard to like
The bizarre story and bloody cartoon violence promised a unique experience, but I found the bears too unlikable and too annoying for this, so it was hard to live the moment with them. The finale partially makes up for it, offering something of a more profound experience.Machete Kills
Even the government needs Machete
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.
I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.The Forest
Woman heads off to japan to find her twin sister, who was last seen wandering into suicide forest Aokigahara
Wittenberg
25-09-2016
A missed opportunity
Considering the terrifying setting of the movie, I was quite disappointed that it only had rather mundane, predictable and mostly pointless jump scares to offer. It's not too bad, but hopefully not the final word in movies situated here.Samsara
A collage of scenes from around the world, loosely connected by the theme of the circle of live
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
Easy
It's a marathon of non-stop pretty wallpapers for your desktop. There's no mistaking the outstanding visuals and suitable music, but simply sticking it together also felt like an easy win. Perhaps some more courage or risks would have helped.The Silence
When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
Does what it needs to, but not much more
It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.She Will
Older moviestar and her nurse go to a secluded place to recover, but the spirit of witchcraft still lingers there
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
Great atmosphere, lacking story
It laid down a promising groundwork for a modern witchcraft tale, but I felt it ran out of ideas and became a somewhat uneventful movie not really going anywhere, and without a satisfying ending.Blair Witch (2016)
Armed with 7 million camera's, a brother sets of to find his sister who disappeard in the cursed woods
Wittenberg
09-07-2017
The formula is still scary, but you start to look through it
This felt scary but over-familiar, and the realism achieved by the found footage started to feel very unrealistic instead. I mean who the hell carries this many cameras and shoots this much at these insane moment? Kudos though, for some of the actors enacting deep deep fear in the finale.The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)
Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Too much mysteries
Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".Extracted
A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
Great idea, somewhat dull
A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.Aporia
A widow gets her husband back by using her friend's machine that perhaps failed at time travel, but can kill a person in the past
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
Slowish and sober, but still a worthwhile time puzzler
I am quite a sucker for these sober, intimate, low-budget movies that still deliver a clever story and time travel puzzles. This one did indeed fall into that category, although it was a bit lackadaisical and perhaps too minimalistic.Cruela
How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
Well made, just not much in here for me personally
This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.Escape Plan
A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
Too cliched to be great
The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.The Equalizer
Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker
Wittenberg
27-04-2015
Old fashioned (in a bad way)
A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.Rim of the World
Stereotype kids on a summercamp become friends as the try to stop an alien invasion
Wittenberg
07-12-2019
Not without problems, but ultimately entertaining enough
People rightfully pointed out the tired stereotype kids and cliche events. I'd add the unnatural jumps in the editing and uncomfortable adult jokes that make it unclear who this movie is for. But despite all this, it still did amuse me and my kids as the children adventure it mostly sets out to be.Colossal
A woman finds that, at certain locations and moments, she is the monster invading Korea. That's right folks.
Wittenberg
11-11-2017
Great idea with little energy in it
The mad story is a joy and pleasantly stubborn. Execution and actors were fine, there just was something very low-energy about it all, that prevented it from becoming as great as the idea itself. The biggest surprise for me was actually the intense acting displayed by Jason Sudeikis.The Poughkeepsie Tapes
Various involved people talk you through the horrible contents of the videotapes of a sadistic serial killer
Wittenberg
13-01-2019
Nicely set up, but what for?
The fact that I looked up whether this was based on a true story means it was somewhat convincing and it definitely has it's moments, but overall it felt mostly like torture porn of the kind that makes you wonder why you are watching it. But perhaps that's always the case with torture porn.Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension
It's about ghostly activity all caught on camera
Wittenberg
18-03-2018
Fresh in the wrong place
They invoke some more obvious, frequent and in your face material, which I can understand was necessary to breath some live into the formula. But the slow, nail biting chance of maybe catching a glimpse kind of was the point. So now it starts to er towards a regular horror glued by jumpscares.Dead Space: Downfall
Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else
Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.Ip Man
The (true?) story of a Kung Fu master who stood up against the Japanese during ww2.
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
Good and bad things from China
It's not always an easy watch because of that painful Chinese overacting and slapstick performances that make it feel like a farce. But as the war begins, the colors fade and gradually it strikes a more serious and interesting tone, and the elaborate superfast kung fu keeps it afloat.Triada
Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
A couple of problems, but still enjoyable
We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.Black Sea
Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow
With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.Kadaver
Live is drab in a postapocalyptic world, so a family is eager to receive a free meal and attend strange performance play in a hotel...
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Mostly missed
It deliverers only partially in the endless possibilities for layers and plot-twists. Worse, the level of fear and tension seem to be on the same level constantly, making you immune/saturated after a while, and a little indifferent as well. But I'd still call it decent and original.47 Meters Down
Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom
Wittenberg
10-05-2018
Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)
The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.Dracula Untold
Vlad needs extra powers to save his town and people, so he drinks the blood from a dark figure and becomes a vampire.
Wittenberg
07-02-2015
Nothing really good, nothing really bad
I can appreciate how it doesn't overdo things, but at the same time it doesn't excel in anything either. It's all a bit flat and muffled. And you know, maybe vampires are not that scary or impressive anymore.Captain Underpants
When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
Ok, but a bit timid
Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).Home Alone 3
This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?
With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.Shutter
Couple finds ghost like smears and images on their photographs
Wittenberg
15-10-2018
Fine, but too formulaic to become really scary or noteworthy
Good idea to base a horror story around these ghostly images, and the actors, the Japan setting and general quality seem up to par. It just feels like it came too late, for we can now sort of guess how these stories unfold, including some lame jump scares I wish it would have risen above.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?Lovely, Deep and Dark
A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
Another good idea without a strong script to carry it
The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.Kingsman: The Secret Service
Working class kid is selected to for secret agent training, just in time to prevent a major world threat
Wittenberg
24-10-2015
A weird mess with some ok action
Maybe if I had known beforehand about this a messy mix of blood spills, James Bond cliches, an annoying teenager with a cap on and a ridiculous story, I would have felt the vibe and enjoyed this more. But since I had not, I was clueless about what this was supposed to be.Sputnik
Sputnik cosmonauts crash on earth, one of them is carying something unearthly with him. A doctor is asked to investigate.
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
A bit slow
While subjects like this are always a killer, and I liked the Russian take and atmosphere for a change, I found the movie to be rather sluggish. There's a lot of talking and walking through the hallways with too little excitement or tension, nor did I find everything very credible.Knock at the Cabin
A family in a cabin gets visited by four people who demand something unimaginable in order to prevent something even more unimaginable
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
Entertaining but ultimaltey unsatisfying mystery
Sure enough, the story made curious and entertained. But I was not blown away. I guess some of the actor are a bit meh (not Bautista though!), the super conveniently timed TV broadcast were lame, and I guess I missed a twist of some kind. Part of me thinks the twist was that there was none.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.Dragon's Dogma
When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great
The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.In the Earth
Two scientists go deep into the woods to find a lost colleague, where they face mystical natural phenomena
Wittenberg
06-12-2023
Could have used some more focus and excitement
I like it when things get sciency, and it goes well with natural presentation and some slow burning. But in this case, it can be a little too dull, and the story lacked a focus. It felt like it invented itself as it went on.Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Alexandes wishes that for once his family could experience the awful bad luck has usually has during the day
Wittenberg
26-04-2015
A bit too constrained
I expected some more anarchy and mayhem with a title like that. Now it is a funny but rather tame and polite comedy with too few standout jokes and all kinds of morals and lessons to boot.Sex Tape
Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
Little more than it's own tagline
Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.The Deep House
Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals
This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.Avengers: Infinity War
All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
What a mash
In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.Strange World
Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
Bubbly but not engaging
It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.Advantageous
Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
Different, interesting but very slow
A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.Sinister 2
Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
The movies in this movie are better than the movie
The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.A Scanner Darkly
Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
Less than meets the eye
The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)The Cloverfield Paradox
A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.
An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?Hotel transylvania 2
Will the halfbreed vampire child have vampire abilites? Turmoil in the monster hotel.
Wittenberg
11-12-2015
Like a an amusementpark ride
A very animated, lively fun movie that is cramped with jokes. So much so I thought it was exhaustive and it felt as though the bombardment of jokes was camouflaging the absence of a strong story or characters to bind with. Fun - but instantly forgettable.Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Tries everything except being scary or exciting
Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.San Andreas
Dad needs to search and rescue his ex-wife and then his daughter in the aftermath of huge earthquake
Wittenberg
28-02-2016
Too Hollywood
A technically sound, mostly good looking disaster flick, served with the typical cardboard characters, an omnipotent superhero, drenched in a sauce of Hollywood cliches. It ends with them staring across the sunset with an American flag waving nearby. yay!Adrift
Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her
Wittenberg
02-06-2019
Ruined by constant flashbacks
For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.Nocebo
A woman gets sick after being biten by a tick, so she seeks help from her Filipina household who uses folklore on her
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
Fair enough, but lacks intensity
It's a decent movie with a twist that, even though you can see it coming, gives it some depth. It's just that it never becomes really scary or intense. It remains a bit lightweight.Thor The Dark World
Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
Another curious case of stellar looking boredom
I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.Mulholland Drive
Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
Should have triggered me, but didn't
The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.In the Tall Grass
Pursuing cries for help, a brother and sister get lost in a field of tall grass - where weird stuff is going
Wittenberg
29-11-2019
Lacks the quality to make it last
It's an interesting idea, but would require a clever story and/or great actors to make it work for the entire duration of a movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have neither, so after a while and starts to loose appeal. Bonus points for trying though.The Rain, season 1
Girl and her brother try to survive in a world destoyed by deadly rain
Wittenberg
05-06-2023
Mostly ok, but too familiar, too annoying
There was something overly familiar about the concept of these abandoned city's and rivaling factions. On top of that, most characters and their actions annoyed too much to really get into the first few episodes. Halfway through it kind of happened, only to be let down again by a lackluster finale.Movies found: 1042 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 281 - 380
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