BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

Zoolander 2

Derek has retreated and gone out of fashion, but must come back into action to save his son

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
6

Not up to their potential

I dig the whacky Zoolander world and humor, but unfortunately this story was too formulaic and good jokes too scarce.
6

Star Trek Beyond

A brute force enemy causes the Enterprise to crashland. The survivors must find away to release the hostages and prevent further mayhem

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-04-2017
6

Awkward and off

The scenes of destruction are mighty, but overall this really felt off. They totally overdid the constant humor which started to feel like slapstick. The story and events also felt awkward and cheesy like the original series, with embarrassing scenes like driving around a motorbike to divert aliens
6

Michiel de Ruyter

The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
average 6.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
6.5

Too presumptuous for it's own good

I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.
6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
6

A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting

Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).
6

47 Ronin

A bunch of samurai revenging their master
average 6.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
7

Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be

Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.
7

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
06-05-2014
5.5

Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie

Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....
5.5

Da Vinci Code, The

Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
average 6.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
6

I liked the book slightly more

Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2014
6.5

Too far fetched

Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.
6.5

Home

Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
average 6.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
6

Just another animated movie

An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-04-2015
6.5

A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time

The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.
6.5

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

After being sold an abused as a sex slave, a nun sets out to take revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
6.5

Nice and campy

Much like Tarantino movies, it shamelessly celebrates campy, violent, badly acted, poorly edited movies taking please in sweaty Mexican style landscapes. It does so quite well, but it also doesn't do much more than that. And the guns weren't that big either.
6.5

Dark skies

Family is being visited by aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
6.5

Greys don't have much to say

Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.
6.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
6.5

Tiresome spectacle

A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.
6.5

Sully

On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
6.5

Over dramatized

The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??
6.5

Stalingrad

In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
6.5

Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat

A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.
6.5

Kin

Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
6.5

Too slow and mixed up

Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.
6.5

Selva trágica

Woman escapes into the jungle from her husband where she is found by a group of rubber farmers

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-06-2021
6.5

You may get several things out of it, but not a lot from each

Is it an adventure movie? An ode to nature? A mystical odyssey? A story about women devouring men? A documentary about rubber harvesting? A little bit of everything I guess, but not really shining in any. A bit static, thin on emotional involvement and abruptly ended.
6.5

Maleficent

The fairytale of sleeping beauty with a few of twists added

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2015
6.5

Beautiful fairytale without impact

At times pleasing to look at, and Jolie is excellent as well. But it combines mystery, children's humor and more darker tones, resulting in a movie that fails to leave a lasting impression in any of these fields.
6.5

Anomalisa

The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2018
6.5

Unique but a bit minimal

The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on them
6.5

Tides aka The Colony

Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
6.5

Promising beginning, so-so rest

Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.
6.5

Darkest Hour, The

Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
6.5

A floating light can only be so scary

The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.
6.5

Rogue

A group of tourists is terrorized by a huge croc in the Australian outback

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-10-2019
6.5

zap resistant

It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it was component enough to keep us watching as we unintentionally zapped into this. It successfully stays away from trying to be campy or deliberately bad, even if the source material could make it tempting to do so.
6.5

Project Almanac

Students built a timemachine

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-09-2015
6.5

Lacks inspirantion or a smart story

They have something going on at first, then all they do with the machine is go back in time to party and solve tedious adolescence problems. By the time tampering-with-time troubles finally start, I was kind of done with it.
6.5

Triada

Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
6.5

A couple of problems, but still enjoyable

We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.
6.5

Colony, The

Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
6.5

Frozen B-movie

The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.
6.5

Mountain Between Us, The

Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
6.5

Yeh sort of works

Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.
6.5

Passengers

On a hightech spaceship carrying 5000 cryosleeping persons to a new earth, one of them wakes up 90 years too early

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-04-2017
6.5

A flawed love story

If found the idea more interesting than execution, which suffers from rather flat, over-directed characters trying to deliver what is eventually a love story in space. The tech/thrills near the end felt rushed and lazy.
6.5

Lovely, Deep and Dark

A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
6.5

Another good idea without a strong script to carry it

The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.
6.5

Good Kill

Pilot of unmaned drones is not happy with it's job

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
6.5

unfocused and over-edited

I was getting tired quickly of the whining that killing terrorists with a drone apparently isn't exciting enough for these people, and confused because then they start crying because the suddenly have moral conflict with it. Then there's the stiff dialogue and suspiciously insubordinate procedures.
6.5

Monsters of Man

Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-07-2021
6.5

A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones

Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.
6.5

Knock at the Cabin

A family in a cabin gets visited by four people who demand something unimaginable in order to prevent something even more unimaginable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Entertaining but ultimaltey unsatisfying mystery

Sure enough, the story made curious and entertained. But I was not blown away. I guess some of the actor are a bit meh (not Bautista though!), the super conveniently timed TV broadcast were lame, and I guess I missed a twist of some kind. Part of me thinks the twist was that there was none.
6.5

In the Earth

Two scientists go deep into the woods to find a lost colleague, where they face mystical natural phenomena

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2023
6.5

Could have used some more focus and excitement

I like it when things get sciency, and it goes well with natural presentation and some slow burning. But in this case, it can be a little too dull, and the story lacked a focus. It felt like it invented itself as it went on.
6.5

Sand Castle

Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
6.5

it's got the stuff but not the story

They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.
6.5

Zero Theorem, The

Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2014
6.5

Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement

The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.
6.5

Independence Day: Resurgence

Mankind has had a major tech and weapons upgrade, but will it be enough to counter a second alien invasion?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-07-2016
6.5

Leave brain at home

I guess it rightfully is the brainless over-the-top popcorn scifi movie it needs to be, so that it doesn't need to make excuses for being shallow, stupid and hardly exiting. Fun, but ultimately I find these movies less and less satisfying. Couple of days later, I have already forgotten most of it.
6.5

Uninvited, The

After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
6.5

Story is good, other aspects lacking

The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.
6.5

Bokeh

Two lovers on a vaction in Iceland one day wake up to find they're all alone

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-12-2017
6.5

Sympathetic and pretty, but runs out of fuel

Starts of fine with beautiful shots of Iceland, moody music, sympathetic actors and by keeping everything small and intimate. But gradually, the 'pretty scenes with music' start to feel like pointless fillers, and I think it tried to say something religious but I am not sure what.
6.5

Cruela

How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
6.5

Well made, just not much in here for me personally

This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.
6.5

Nocebo

A woman gets sick after being biten by a tick, so she seeks help from her Filipina household who uses folklore on her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Fair enough, but lacks intensity

It's a decent movie with a twist that, even though you can see it coming, gives it some depth. It's just that it never becomes really scary or intense. It remains a bit lightweight.
6.5

Camera Obscura

Predictive murders show up on a depressed man's vintage camera. How far will he go to prevent them?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-01-2018
6.5

Good idea delivered somewhat plainly

It's got a great story and almost reels in that 'low budget doesn't matter when you have good ideas and actors' vibe. But I found it lacking that extra touch and sharpness. It ends up somewhat tame and slow. Some of the horrific scenes somehow left me cold.
6.5

Dumb and Dumber To

They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
6.5

Below par

It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.
6.5

Clara

Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-07-2019
6.5

An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda

The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.
6.5

Rain, season 1, The

Girl and her brother try to survive in a world destoyed by deadly rain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2023
6.5

Mostly ok, but too familiar, too annoying

There was something overly familiar about the concept of these abandoned city's and rivaling factions. On top of that, most characters and their actions annoyed too much to really get into the first few episodes. Halfway through it kind of happened, only to be let down again by a lackluster finale.
6.5

Dead Space: Downfall

Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
6.5

A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else

Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.
6.5

Videodrome

In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
6.5

A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on

It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.
6.5

Oculus

Brother and sister try to get even with a mysticial mirror that causes supernatural drama and terror in their childhood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
6.5

Some scares, a lot of annoyances

They sure know how to do good scares, and there's some nice ideas for the story framework as well. But the present-past alternations gets tiresome quickly, and I was totally put off by the analytical, cold and utterly unconvincing attitude and going-about of the (present day) sister.
6.5

Bait

After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
6.5

Amazingly ok

Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!
6.5

Transcendence

The soul of a murdered AI scientist is transfered into the system. Will he play nice?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-12-2014
6.5

Underwhelmed

This subject is right up my alley, but this movie is not. The conversations are a bit gibberish, the science lazy, the action misplaced.
6.5

Barbarouse Mexico

Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
6.5

Gritty but pointless

The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.
6.5

Iron Sky

Not realizing the war is over, the nazis on the dark side of the moon are preparing an invasion of earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2014
6.5

They should have gone crazier

Smart ideas and very smart looks, but ultimately it lacks the inspiration to really succeed as either a comedy or action adventure. A b-ish flavour remains. They should have gone whack.
6.5

Green Inferno, The

Student activists go protest in the jungle to save the habitat of the local natives, but end up being eaten by them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-04-2018
6.5

Eat those annoying actors

The cannibalism and slaughter should please those who like this sort of thing, and the live of the tribe - while not eating - even seemed sort of respectful and authentic. The movie is held back by really annoying characters delivering lots of poorly acted lines.
6.5

Rambo Last Blood

Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
6.5

Not the right rambo movie for me

I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.
6.5

Wolverine, The

Wolverine visits an dying admirer in Japan, but gets caught up in evil plans (and ninja's)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-12-2013
6.5

Grumpiness in Japan

It's not bad, but it is let down by too many slow scenes, a constantly grumpy staring Wolverine (yes we get it, he is a lonesome tormented hero!) and a story that feels like you have seen it many times before.
6.5

Home Alone 3

This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
6.5

Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?

With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.
6.5

Peppermint

When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2019
6.5

Exchanging the sexes isn't enough

This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.
6.5

Chappie

Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
average 6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
6

Nice robot, crappy story

Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-03-2015
7

A bitter sweet 7

As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.
7

Poltergeist (2015)

Family moves into a house in which a ghost goes after the little girl

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2016
6.5

A but uninspired

Right from the start it quite mundanely runs by -=scary scenes=-. Then the science team moves in, after which the scares are pretty much gone. The boy's trick of constantly turning his head toward a scary event VERY SLOWLY was also getting on my nerves. DeWitt rose above it all.
6.5

Liberator, The

A squad comprised out of people from very different backgrounds fighting in the second World War.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
6.5

Looks unqiue, but it's not quite there

The half-drawing, half real-life filter make it look unique, and is a great idea for making epic scenes on a lower budget. The action scenes were good, but the dialogue not so much, and it frequently does emotional and sensitive dives which I found a bit forced and cliched.
6.5

Cidade Invisível

After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
6.5

A bit plain

The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.
6.5

Warcraft

A fantasyworld at peace is suddenly invaded by violent beasts coming through a portal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2016
6.5

Surprisingly mature, but still a slightly distant game world

Pleasantly surprised by the quality of the characters, looks and various memorable scenes, and the way that things have a mature quality to them.. But you still may feel like you're thrown in a world you do not know, making it hard to connect with it, or be immersed by it.
6.5

Taking of Deborah Logan, The

Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
6.5

Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary

This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.
6.5

Deep House, The

Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
6.5

Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals

This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.
6.5

Lazarus Effect, The

After succesfully bringing a dog back to live, an accident brings the science team to try the trick on one of their own

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2016
6.5

Unremarkable horror despite some good ideas

A promising idea and start can't help this movie from soon ending up with rather cliche and predictable scares and a lack of focus. The science 'team' is also an unconvincing bunch of Hollywood stereotypes.
6.5

Stealth

Three pilots in super modern jets must deal wih a fourth, unmanned sleathy jet.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-04-2013
6.5

Saved by coolness

Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through the jetfighter-movie cliches and flawed characters and plot, this movie is saved partially by some decent action scenes and cool moments.
6.5

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

Casshern

In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
6.5

A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it

With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.
6.5

Swiss Army Man

A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
6.5

Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts

I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.
6.5

Next

A guy can see two minutes into the future, which brings him into trouble when he is asked to help prevent a terrorist attack

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2014
6.5

Idea not fully utilized

It's a nice idea that provides some fair entertainment. But a nuclear terrorist attack is not the most inspirational thing they could have done with it. The 'gift' soon becomes gimmicky and the story a little standard.
6.5

What Happened to Monday?

In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2019
6.5

Gimmicky

While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.
6.5

Snatched

When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
6.5

Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem

I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.
6.5

Other Side of the Door, The

Devastated by the tragic loss of her son, the woman resorts to an indian supernatural ritual to speak to him one last time - and exectutes it wrongly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2016
6.5

Fair horror

I loved the Indian setting and the story had potential, but ultimately it keeps relying on familiar tricks and I thought everyone was overacting a bit.
6.5

Split

Three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple identities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-05-2017
6.5

Multiple Personality Disorder annoys me more than it scares me

Frankly, I was somewhat bored and agitated by the multiple identities, especially the laughable behavior of the supposed 9 year old. Apart from the identities there's wasn't much in there, nor did I find it very particularly scary. It's okay, but underwhelming.
6.5

Jarhead 2: Field of Fire

Supply mission in Afghanistan turns bad and turns into a mission of a very different nature

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2014
6.5

ok-ish, next time believe in yourself

It's not a bad war movie. It is, however, a little too preoccupied with setting up mandatory warmovie cliches and visuals, and showing how great and fun the military is. The Taliban apparently also have serious aiming issues.
6.5

Doors

Four individual stories that take place on earth where mysterious a substance known as doors make people dissappear

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
6.5

Pleasantly weird (but not great)

The overall experience isn't great. It lacks emotional involvement or a clear story a character to hang on to. Like the makers didn't quite understand it either. But there's something sympathetic about it. I like the effects, and it is kind of pleasantly weird, doing it's own thing in a ballsy way.
6.5

Mist, The

A mist containing monstrous creatures traps a group of people inside a supermarket

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-11-2023
6.5

Too much cartoon people to be scary

I think it has that distinctive style of Stephen King, featuring a group of various very talkative and exaggerated characters arguing and contemplating as they face this ordeal. Almost like watching a play. Somehow it drains most of the tension, and left me slightly amused rather than scared.
6.5

BFG, The

Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
6.5

Lovingly made but not immersing

I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.
6.5

Downsizing

Couple decides to shrink and live in a world or other shrunk people, in pursuit of happiness and for sustainability of earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2019
6.5

Disappointing second half

Up until they are shrunk, this is set up really nicely, putting in effort to make this idea work and making me eager to find out what's next. But then the story takes a u-turn with a slightly whiny, society critical theme, a horribly overacting Vietnamese, all making the smallness sort of pointless.
6.5

Mulholland Drive

Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
6.5

Should have triggered me, but didn't

The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.
6.5

Finch

Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
6.5

A nice tale that had slightly more potential

It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.
6.5

Homunculus

A man agrees to have a hole drilled in his head, after which he can see manifestations people's inner selves

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-05-2023
6.5

Great idea, executed so-so

It focuses more on psychological drama than horror of science fiction, and rightly so. It's an exciting concept that unfortunately doesn't really take off. The characters are not really likeable, and the story is a bit of hit and miss. One of those movies you think could have been much better.
6.5

Outpost, The

Surrounded by high ground, US soldiers in Afganistan try to survive in this highly untactical basecamp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-08-2020
6.5

Generic characters having an intense firefight

This is being applauded for it's realism, but unfortunately that meant for me that I remained somewhat indifferent during the long intense finale, because up until that point all they were were cursing, chit-chatting, anonymous soldiers. Armadillo WAS realism and had relatable, likable people in it.
6.5

Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire

Peaceful farmers start a rebellion against a spaceorder threatining their way of life, starting of with recruiting members from across the galaxy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2023
6.5

Pretty but lacking interesting characters or plot

On the face of it an impressive epic with neat designs and visuals, but most characters are very flat comicbook archetypes, the story was lacking and felt overfamiliar at places. I'll watch the sequels, but probably won't remember this at all when they arrive.
6.5

Sense8

Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
6.5

Too long for it's own good

After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.
6.5

Archive 18

Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
6.5

Not quite

It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.
6.5

Lucid Dream

A man tries to find his kidnapped son by reliving the moment in lucid, and later also shared, dreaming

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-05-2018
6.5

Disappointing

The awesome idea turns out to be mostly a rather plain detective/crime story, and the way the whole dreaming thing was supposed to be working seemed rushed and like they didn't really care too much either.
6.5

No Hard Feelings

A girl gets a car - if she dates an undatable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
6.5

Another fine romcom with not much else

It's good for a few laughs and some well dosed emotional depth. But that, unfortunately, seems to be the review I end up writing every freaking 'romcom' out there. I wish it would have found away to rise above this.
6.5

Maze Runner

Not knowing why, a guy wakes up in between fellow victims - all surrounded by a giant maze with monsters in it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-07-2015
6.5

Improves with age

Upon first viewing I was annoyed by unnecessary vague way everyone talks and the focus on their petty problems instead of the maze itself. And while these problems are real, upon second viewing the core adventure - with some mystery, action and horror - became more evident and enjoyable.
6.5

Ichi The Killer

A ganster mob routine of torturing and killing people gets disrupted by a mysterious killer that leaves the rooms soaked in blood and guts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
6.5

A torture movie for research rather than enjoyment

I actually got used to the torture scenes of amputations and various acts with sharp objects. I actually became somewhat interested in, and empathized with, the mysterious killer. But mostly I still felt sick and depressed rather than amused after watching this.
6.5

Coma

Man wakes up in a comatose world, consisting only of chunks of memories... and malicious beings that hunt for him and other like him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-05-2021
6.5

Boredom in a spectacular world of ideas

One of the coolest and original ideas I've seen in a while, and it looks as cool as the idea itself is. It is therefore all the more frustrating and disappointing that I kept falling asleep. I am guessing it's the boring, over-simplified characters and the vague, pointless missions they set out for.
6.5

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
6.5

A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie

What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.
6.5

Silence, The

When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
6.5

Does what it needs to, but not much more

It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.
6.5

Choose or Die

Girl gets caught up in a mysterious vintage game that makes people make horrible choices

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
6.5

Some entertainment, but not great

For a horror it doesn't really scare much, and overall execution is a little underwhelming. The way the game interacts with the real world seems inconsistent and not very well thought out. But well, there are some new ideas and it does provide some basic amusement value.
6.5

Maggie

Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-06-2016
6.5

Sympathetic but hollow

I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.
6.5

Dummie de Mummie en de tombe van Achnetoet

After a Dutch children's book, in which a family takes their fostered mummy-son to Egypt so he can find his roots

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2017
6.5

A save harmless watch for the kids

A mellow, save and relaxed story with some adventure and giggles but nothing too crazy.
6.5

Older Gods

A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
6.5

A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight

These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.
6.5

Void, The

Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
6.5

Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless

A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.
6.5

Captain Harlock: Space Pirate

In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
6.5

Just enjoy the pretty graphics

Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.
6.5

Area 51

Armed with camera's , some teens attempt to sneak in area 51 and catch a glimps of what's in there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2015
6.5

Great idea doesn't quite deliver

A clever idea that could have yielded some scary footage. Unfortunately, the teens in question are bit bland and unsympathetic, their efforts for this stunt are a bit over the top, and once inside it's a bit too messy and rushed to deliver true scares. Should have been toned down a little.
6.5

Bad Biology

Nymphomaniac with multiple clitori crosses path with a guy who's overgrown penis has a mind of it's own. Not porn. I think.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
6.5

Weird filth that does what it wants and I commend them for it

This was sort of rebellious and liberating in a way, but perhaps that's just because I watched too many generic and formulaic Hollywood movies lately. Sure it is bad, trashy and bizarre, but somehow it doesn't care and I sort of enjoyed the audacity of it.
6.5

Rim of the World

Stereotype kids on a summercamp become friends as the try to stop an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2019
6.5

Not without problems, but ultimately entertaining enough

People rightfully pointed out the tired stereotype kids and cliche events. I'd add the unnatural jumps in the editing and uncomfortable adult jokes that make it unclear who this movie is for. But despite all this, it still did amuse me and my kids as the children adventure it mostly sets out to be.
6.5

Black Snake Moan

When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
6.5

I saw through it

Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.
6.5

Megamind

Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-11-2015
6.5

Ok humor space adventure

A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.
6.5

Predator, The

The predators are coming back to earth. The good, the bad and the loony try to deal with it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2019
6.5

Too much over the top nonsense stuff, taking away the magic

It was good to hear the predator music again, but not the rather cringe worthy lines delivered by the cliched and over the top characters in this movie. How did the biologist turn into a skilled commando instantly? The spacedogs - I don't know... just too many things not quite right in here.
6.5

Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 271 - 370

Previous Next