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Pacific Rim: Uprising

The monsters have been defeated, but not for long

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2019
5

Do you like robot fights?

Listen, I just came here for giant robots smashing huge monsters, and got what I wanted. Never mind that every person in this movie is a ridiculous Hollywood abomination and everything they say and do is stupid as can be, making this essentially a horrible Power Rangers movie with no soul.
5

Flatliners (2019)

Med students have themselves killed and take a peak at the afterlife before they are reanimated. But all is not fun and games.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-08-2019
5

Same problem as the original, executed worse

Like the original, the concept is awesome but I still find the clue rather dull and unsatisfying. Worse, in this version some of characters are quite annoying, some of their lines rather cheesy and the scares copied and uninspired. I was waiting for everyone to just say sorry and get this over with.
5

Halo 4: forward unto dawn

Cadets getting trained for combat in the halo universe

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-08-2013
5

Mission failed: please try again

What happened? They got great looking props, effects, a spot-on color palette, an exciting Halo playground, and even the warthog. Yet all they came up with are close-ups of whining and insubordinate teenagers, and a minimal story that's still going nowhere.
5

Captain Marvel

A woman with superpowers and generic green aliens and avengers and tessaracts and whfff

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-09-2020
5

I felt nothing

A cheerful, colorful, slick looking action superhero movie that went straight through me.
5

Battle Royal

A class of students are placed on an island, and the game is that only one survives

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
5

A bloodfest turned into snoozefest

I was curious because it was listed somewhere as a real shocker, but the gore is not that bad - less so than many splatter horrors around. Furthermore I don't think I will ever get used to Japanese overacting and drama. The scholars are boring, annoying and their contemplations uninteresting.
5

The Monuments Men

In WWII, a specialized group sets out to save artworks from destruction or being stolen by the nazis

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-09-2014
5

A very boring movie

A moviesubject in danger of being boring. And despite the A-list of actors and undoubtedly good intentions, I am sorry to say that it is.
5

Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead

A few girls try to survive when all men turn into those

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-08-2023
5

Not the killer pulp I hoped for

A film with a good chance of being so outrageously bad and incorrect that it becomes secretly enjoyable, but alas it had too little good ideas or energy for that. It's all quite lifeless. All the zombies walking around with their pants on their ankles earned it a bonus point though.
5

Sex Ed

Mathteacher can't find a suitable job, so he settles for giving sex education to teens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-01-2015
5

Sex ought to be funnier than this

It had a lot going for it. A funny idea, a mellow Cuban vibe and potential. Unfortunately, the jokes won't ignite and many scenes just fall flat. Also contains a painfully misguided good-will-hunting-ish speech scene that isn't even trying to be funny.
5

Slenderman

Some kids summon slenderman

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
5

Slenderman deserves better

I really like the slenderman figure and wanted to like this, but the lead actresses don't really convince, and everything is just moving very slowly from one scare to the next, filling up time in a story that feels a bit loose and lacking ideas, and ultimately, never gets really scary.
5

A walk among the tombstones

Private detective searching for a bunch of sickos mutilating and killing the loved ones of drug dealers

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
5

Another movie with Liam Neeson, definitely not one of his best

I am still wondering what the writers were thinking, as well as Liam Neeson reading the script. Watching a goldfish in a fish tank for 114 minutes must be more exciting than this...
5

The 5th Wave

Girl tries to rescue her little brother amidst an alien invasion in 5 waves

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2016
5

Derailed

After a reasonable start, it derails in cheesy teenage love stories, unexciting screenplay, annoying army-squads comprising of teenagers and emo's, and sloppy movie making with aliens that conveniently look just like humans.
5

Prisoners of the Ghostland

A convict is chartered to rescue a woman from a mysterious group that is held captive by ghosts. If not he explodes.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-12-2021
5

Weird is not always good

Some pretty colors and scenes aside, this is mostly uncomfortably odd and confusing. You could argue that is to be commended for being different and broken free from the mainstream, but not in a way that I found pleasing.
5

Monster Hunter

Army ranger accidently winds up in another dimension where she must fight monsters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
5

Awesomeness that left me cold

Such a potential premise, such a big budget, yet still so uninteresting and shallow. I thought only the finale back on earth was somewhat badass. The movie seems to look a lot like the game it was based upon, so perhaps fans will get more out of it.
5

Nightflyers

The crew on a spaceship, on it's way to make contact with alien lifeforms, finds itself in more and more peril as they come closer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2019
5

These poor series still contain enough mystery to make it worthwhile

So for this monumentally important mission, they assembled the most insecure, insubordinate, fashion-conscious and unstable crew they could find and make them improvise the entire mission in an insanely incoherent way. But apparently I love space mystery so much that I still watched it. All of it.
5

The Last Full Measure

Pentagon hotshot reluctantly investigates a request for a posthumous medal of honor, and gets more and more involved as he talks to the veterans

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-09-2020
5

Overdone

They managed to get a whole bunch a A-list actors giving all they got. But it feels overacted, over dramatized and forced down your throat. The clips during the end scroll demonstrate how veterans ACTUALLY talk. A noble cause for sure, but unnecessarily heavy-handed. Boring, even.
5

Immanence

Scientists go on a boat to sea to investigate possible extraterrestial phenomena.. or is it divine phenomena?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
5

The story was there, the rest was not

I usually dig science babble, but coming out of the mouths of these guys it sounded ridiculous. And while the story had potential, I am afraid the execution fell short in many other fields as well. Confusing and weird, in a bad way. Clearly not filmed on sea, disguised by pitch black surroundings.
5

The Brothers Grimsby

Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2016
5

Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough

Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.
5

Moon 44

Pilot/cop goes undercover to a mining planet to oversee the convict pilots fighting of an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
5

A disappointing story in a cool scifi environment

The scenery, with it's dark and steamy hallways and spaceships, is remarkably like an Aliens, so that's good! The story though, is mostly convicts and and their navigators fighting, while the hero smokes cigarettes and tries to look cool - not really interesting.
5

Forbidden World

Astronout lands on a base where an alien experiment get out of hand

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
5

Didn't turn out to be a classic

I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.
5

jung_e

A team tries to create the ultimate warrior by recycling a brain into new cyborg bodies, but can't figure out why she keeps underperforming

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2023
5

Nothing much to make it work

A bit of a Korean take on Ghost in the Shell, this should interesting. But is is not. The action is utterly unconvincing, and I hated some of the characters who either over-acted or were just cringey and one-dimensional. The story attempts some quasi deep theme's but it all falls flat immediately.
5

Hungerford

Some roomies/friends try to survice, after space visitors turn everyone into zombies. Good thing one of them was just doing a film project.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2020
5

A minimal found-footage flick with annoying protagonist

I should sympathize with what they managed to create using very little resources, but it really was pretty basic zombie stuff. Some acted pretty good, some were ok, but the main character was a really annoying dude, and I started to despise his constant heavy breathing and drama.
5

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fox and friends engage in a war with local farmers when they steal chickens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2021
5

Did not push my buttons

It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.
5

Silent Hill Revelation

Girl must save her father, who is trapped in a place full of demons

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-09-2013
5

Not as scary as it looks

This contains some very moody scenery and genuinely nightmarish footage. But the girl's plan is basically walking from one demon challenge to the next, and the rest of the story is either boring or incomprehensible.
5

Firestarter (2022)

Girl tries to control and live with her ability to set things on fire, but evil people make her loose her cool

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2022
5

Left me cold (that punchline is probably taken)

One of those movies that, on the face of it, looks quite solid and adept, and makes you wonder why you're not enjoying it more. I think her parent's additional paranormal abilities get in the way of an already uninspired and even boring story that fails to ignite. (That's probably also taken.)
5

Reminiscence

When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2021
5

half decent idea failed

The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.
5

The Matrix 4: Resurrections

Neo, living in the matrix again as a guy who made a matrix game, goes back into the matrix to save Trinity, who is in the matrix.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-02-2022
5

This time, the mindbender is the movie itself

I am not sure how a 4th sequel could have worked or what I wanted from it, but surely it wasn't this. I hate the lazy self aware 'meta' approach and the revisiting of classic moments. Nothing really works anymore, I cringed multiple times. An odd misfire, which makes you wonder how this came to be.
5

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum

Found footage from a Korean ghost hunting documentaryteam, who get what they are looking for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-01-2024
5

Scares drowned in annoying team

There is a handful of chilling scenes near the end, but by that time I was too worn-down by the, once again, obnoxious team of selfcontent vloggers. I was getting really tired of the fullscreen close-ups of their sobbing faces, amidst a minimalistic and random story.
5

The Soul (2022)

Prosecutor dying of cancer takes on a murder case that reveals dark secrets and transplants of more than just cells

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2022
5

Probably a brillant story but failed in presentation

I can appreciate the deep, well thought out story that stacks several layers of twists on each other, providing a real thinker of a crime story with perhaps a dash of horror. But it is presented so slowly en depressingly that I struggled to notice or care - and to stay awake too.
5

The Phoenix incident

You know those 4 skatedude guys who went missing in Arizona? It was aliens man!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2015
5

Too shaky

Hurah! It's not just found footage; it's loud, noisy and restless shaky footage too. Which makes this mockumentary, shoving a conspiracy down our throat, rather tiresome and lame.
5

Ghost in the Shell: The New Movie

I think it's about cyborg major leading a team to resolve the assassination of the prime minister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2017
5

Too complicated, not enough magic

It kept some of the magic of the original, but what it kept mostly is endless incomprehensible techno/politics that I could not stay focused on. It's not bad looking, but most of the art of the first movie is no longer here.
5

The Grudge

Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
5.5

A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas

On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.
5.5

The Nun

A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
5.5

Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story

While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.
5.5

Kill Command

Future space marines go train against robots in the woods, but then the robots start to become agressive beyond the program.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2016
5.5

Nice robots though

Some guys were quite adept at making some good scifi designs and robotics, but not at making a movie around it. The combat lacks tension, performances are underwhelming, there's a lot or repetition and I fell asleep twice.
5.5

The Temple

Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
5.5

They forgot to write it

I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.
5.5

Risen

Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
5.5

Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions

The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.
5.5

Resident Evil: damnation

A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
5.5

Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless

It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?
5.5

The Unholy

Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
5.5

Fair story just not exectuted well

The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.
5.5

Color Out of Space

Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
5.5

A bit vague and improvised

It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was over
5.5

Carnage

Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
5.5

Great idea didn't work

A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.
5.5

The Huntsman: Winter's War

An alternative, side-story story situated around the area and events of the snow white fairy tale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2017
5.5

Nothing to stand out or excite

I think the good intentions are there, but I found it rather flat and uninvolving, appearing rather insignificant next to giants like The Lord of the Ring.
5.5

Carrie (2013)

Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
5.5

Identical yet inferior to the original

Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.
5.5

Incantation

A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
5.5

Too messy

There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.
5.5

The Great Raid

In WW2 soldiers undertake a daring missing to rescue prisonors from the Japanese Abanatuan camp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-01-2017
5.5

Felt like a movie, not a war rescue mission

I don't mean to sound disrespectful about this amazing operation, but I wasn't to keen on this movie. I constantly felt I was watching actors playing soldiers and prisoners, with unrealistic over rehearsed lines ruining the mood. The cliched and disconnected 'war movie music' didn't help either.
5.5

Terminator Dark Fate

More or less the original story but with more females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
5.5

No

Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.
5.5

Windtalkers

Marines are reluctantly tasked with protecting native american soldiers and their ability to transfer indecipherable messages

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2022
5.5

Did not age well

I think it made an impression as a war movie in the day, but I fear it has aged poorly. The acting and dialogues can be quite corny, the emotional scenes induce cringe, and the action is almost laugable with the hero shooting from the hip and all bad guys instantly drop dead.
5.5

Hercules

Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
average 5.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
5

Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please

I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...
5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2014
6

A bit boring

The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.
6

Expiry

A couple fails to have children before the expiry date of their relationship, then a bracelet makes physical contact impossible

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2021
5.5

Too thin

This almost sort of worked, as a minimalistic, futuristic story of a forbidden relationship. But after a while it starts to loose momentum, the therapy sessions (?) with some sort of HAL computer seem endless and pointless and the final escape scene brings it to amateuristic levels.
5.5

A Good Day to Die Hard

McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
5.5

Boring high-octane action. Huh?

Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.
5.5

Murder Mystery 2

Murder solving couple takes a much needed break on a distant island, but soon enough they're at it again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2023
5.5

Formulaic slapstick with too little good jokes

I can see what they are going for, and objectively all the ingredients are here for a shot of uncomplicated amusement. I just thought the jokes were not all that, and everything is so safe, formulaic and predictable it feels like you have already seen it - and will forget about it tomorrow.
5.5

House of Wax

Group of friends winds up in a desolate town where the wax museum holds a horrible secret

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-06-2023
5.5

original subject can't generic horror formula

The wax subject is quite original and caters for some reasonable horror moments. The subject feels slightly underused though, but that's not the main problem. That would be the same old cast of pretty young adults behaving generically, unrealistically and rather tiresomely.
5.5

Bloodshot

Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
6

Lacks characters to make it work

With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.
6

The Titan

On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
6

Experiment failed

It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.
6

The Free Fall

After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

Ideas were there, movie making skills were not

Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.
6

3022

The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
6

Just made it

It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.
6

Hitman: Agent 47

Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
6

Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce

I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"
6

The Tomorrow War

People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
6

Forgettable and hardly interesting

While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.
6

White House Down

Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-10-2013
6

Quality goes down too

Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.
6

Ready Player One

In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
6

Childish and patronizing fan service

I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?
6

Hipersomnia

While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
6

Should have been better

Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.
6

Dark Shadows

Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
6

Surprisingly boring

Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.
6

Higher Power

A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
6

subpar until it ends

A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!
6

Zombie Lake

Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
6

Be ready for the worst and have a good time

Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.
6

A Million Ways to Die in the West

Out of place cowboy is dumped by his true love, but gets unexpected help to win her back

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-03-2015
6

Why the story?

Come on people! Why didn't they just parody the hell out of western movies in true McFarlane style? An ineffective mix of some brutal and bold humor drowned in an uninteresting and righteous love story.
6

Exists

Them kids in a cabin in the woods are terrorized my Bigfoot. All caught with found footage.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-04-2016
6

Average, quite unoriginal stuff

The more we get to see this creature, the less scary it becomes. And for Christs sake, does it always have to be teenage stoners who experience this stuff? And they brought how many camera's? Sit with the other average found footage horror movies please.
6

Babylon

The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies

I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.
6

12 Strong

Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
6

Unbelievable

If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.
6

Infinitum: Subject Unknown

In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
6

Quite plain considering the subject

I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.
6

Planes

Planes flying around in the world of Cars (1)
average 6.0

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

What it needs to be

Not much in the way of originality, but adept at telling an effective, colorful and easy to follow story for the target audience.
6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-11-2013
5.5

Planes flying around, that's about it

Ok, so it looks like the world of Cars (1), but with planes in it, which could be entertaining. But actually it is not, since they forgot to write a decent story. Too bad...
5.5

Revolt

During a robot invasion, a commando suffering from memory loss teams up up with a woman in trying to survive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
6

Compotent but underwhelming

I couldn't quite wrap my head around why I was so underwhelmed by this. Action, FX and story seem ok and I like how it was situated in Africa for a change. I fear the bland, slightly uninteresting main characters might have something to do with it.
6

This is the End

Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
6

Mostly self absorbed

The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.
6

Heavy Metal

Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
6

Not aged well

Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.
6

Blackhat

In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
6

Nicely shot nonsense

It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.
6

Occhi Chiusi

A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
6

Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp

With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.
6

Zoolander 2

Derek has retreated and gone out of fashion, but must come back into action to save his son

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
6

Not up to their potential

I dig the whacky Zoolander world and humor, but unfortunately this story was too formulaic and good jokes too scarce.
6

Prey

Some guys just about to finish a hike through the woods, are hunted down by someone with rifle

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
6

Needed more

The scenery is pretty, and the plain, no-nonsense execution gives it some purity. But it's hard to connect with the characters who are also having irrelevant work-related quarrels, and the plot is really a very thin succession of shot-flee-argue over and over. It misses some sort of twist or payoff.
6

There's Something Wrong With the Children

Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
6

Not intense or scary enough

The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.
6

Star Trek Beyond

A brute force enemy causes the Enterprise to crashland. The survivors must find away to release the hostages and prevent further mayhem

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-04-2017
6

Awkward and off

The scenes of destruction are mighty, but overall this really felt off. They totally overdid the constant humor which started to feel like slapstick. The story and events also felt awkward and cheesy like the original series, with embarrassing scenes like driving around a motorbike to divert aliens
6

Yakamoz S-245

A group of marine scientists escapes global extinction due to a solarburst, and have to work together with the crew of a military sub to find a new home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2022
6

Loaded with problems, but there's something in there

This series was packed with a lot of problems: one dimensional characters, stalling forever, bizarre behavior and dialogues, and weird decisions throughout - to name but a few. But somehow, the fab color pallet, the music, some scenes and the interesting premise manage to keep it afloat.
6

Beyond Skyline

Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
6

Strange mixture

An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.
6

Man of Tai Chi

In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
6

Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird

Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.
6

Iron Man 3

Iron man takes on a terrorist

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
6

Iron mess

Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.
6

The Accountant

Autistic man has a special talent for accounting, and appearantly for some darker activities as well

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2019
6

Too far-fetched

This didn't really connect with me. The story is way too far-fetched, made-up and over the top to be taken seriously, and it dwells in the tiresome notion that autistic people must have superpowers.
6

Time Trap

When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
6

Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere

I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.
6

Noise

When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-03-2023
6

ok but lots of loose ends

Although we liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and decent characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.
6

Phantom

Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
6

Good intentions drowned in mistakes

Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!
6

Romina

Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
6

Spoils itself

The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.
6

The 9th Company

Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
6

I think I was supposed to hate the other guys

I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.
6

V/H/S 2

Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
6

lacks inspiration

It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.
6

Deathgasm

Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2022
6

Go harder

I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.
6

Captive State

An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
6

Average

Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.
6

Couples Retreat

Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
6

Predictably average

Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.
6

Spectral

Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
6

Decent ingredients but no cake

This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.
6

Pet Semetary (2019)

A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
6

not scary enough, too little to standout

While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.
6

Curvature

A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
6

Too flawed to make the story come alive

I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.
6

Make My Day

A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
6

Poor characters and story

While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.
6

Harbinger Down

Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
6

Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts

Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.
6

Control

Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
6

Lacks excitement or ideas

While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.
6

Sausage Party

Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
6

Funny idea with too little good jokes

I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.
6

Glass

A researcher investigates the credibility and actual superpowers of the superhero's from Unbreakable and Split

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
6

Ultimately a failed attempt to prolong this

The story provides a potentially clever reason to bring these people together and add a twist to the story, but mostly it feels like everybody was dragged in front of the camera again, the "research" was laughable and I still hate MPD - it is so embarrassing to look at, not scary at all.
6

Lazer Team

A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
6

Fun concept exectued unremarkably

Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.
6

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