Let's call it art

Listen, I really tried to look at this as a completely homemade, completely amateur movie, but even then I did not find any redeeming qualities. Maybe it's deliberately trying to be as bad as can be, so that it becomes art or intoxicating. I must admit I felt weird after watching it.

Heinous

A dreadful montage of vague ideas and slow, disconnected actors driving around in big cars doing whatever, with music desperately trying to make it remotely exiting. It is almost impossible to keep your attention to this and not fall asleep. The prologue was oddly interesting by comparison.

Not frosty

All this is are shaky shots of soldiers making their way through the jungle, delivering an (often bizarre) stream of military speak and cliches as they go along. Stay frosty! Some of the make-up effects of dismembered limbs are the only thing of any quality.

Crap without a savior

All I tuned in for was annoying teenagers being eaten. And while that certainly is the case, this movie still manages to disappoint. It fails to latch on to any redeeming factor of such movies, like fun, gore, tension, great fx or jump scares. Nothing. Infuriating and totally unbelievable.

If you can reach the right state of mind, it could be mind blowing

I knew what I was getting into, and was ready for the abysmal to turn into laughter, fascination and/or admiration. But I started to realize you probably need some friends and beers to reach that state, but on my own I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself.

Unbearingly boring

Possibly it was trying to say something deep. But this barrage of long, pointless, repetitious scenes, goofy acting and plywood set pieces was just god-awful and made sure I didn't care what it was. A shame, because a journey to the end of the universe sounds so freaking amazing.

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.

Make sure you are drunk first

I bet that if you got drunk, and watch this with some friends, who are also drunk, you could fall into a state of endless uncontrolled laughter. Other than that, we are in Sharknado territory quality wise, but without it intentionally trying to be silly (I think).

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.

It lives up to it's title

So yeh, everything is bad about this movie. But it's not snugly enough to reach the elusive so-bad-it's-good status, even though it was off to a good start with the deep cleavage power babes piloting the subs.

The worst of the eighties

A remarkable exhibit of the worst movie elements from the eighties, brought back to life in the new millennium. Acting, stereotypes, script, humor - all appalling and outdated - accompanied with eighties film music to top it off. Cage must have owed someone a favor!

Very cheap - in more than one way

Once she arrives, the only thing that awaits are very long, uninteresting conversations, sub par acting and an empty slow plot in which not much is going on. The poster artwork is completely misleading and does not represent actual footage from the movie. Boooh.

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.

Dead on arrival

It doesn't pretend to be much, and it doesn't even try or care either. It feels like they gave up hope pretty early on, and just had everyone running through the same hallway until they were done with it. Utterly empty.

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.

A weird failure

Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.

Perhaps with a better story

Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.

A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad

Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.

A different writer please

I could have sympathized with this for some reasonable effects and designs, good intentions and the cute Saitek joystick prop. But they made it sheer impossible to do so, with appalling dialogue, hopeless characters and a world record amount of creature-flashes-by-the-screen-with-loud-sound scares.

Almost abysmal

There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.

Repitition can be repetitive

This movie made me appreciate those stuck-in-repeating-day movies more, for doing the same but keeping it interesting still. This one, however, is agonizingly repetitive, narrow and has a crawling pace and boring actors. Too bad about the snappy beginning a synth soundtrack.

Not a catastrophy, but pretty bad

A very vague, sleep-inducing, poorly written scifi with some abhorrent dialogue made worse by the poor voice overs I got with it. At the very end there are some relatively interesting, slightly rewarding plot points, and I give an extra point for some fancy CGI/space scenes.

Cute, sympathetic even, but not good.

Apart from the fantastic title and some passable CGI here and there, I could not find anything to recommend about it. The subpar actors continuously having to deliver anxious spacecombat jargon really got on my nerves. Also known as "Attack on Titan", but that won't save it.

Terrible scifi with insufficient but still present elements of quality

Apart from the outside space graphics, nothing else convinces in any way. Not the actors, not the ship interior, not the dialogues, not the music, not the directing, not the ship's plumbing. The story and twist are sort of interesting, but are unfortunately buried beneath the problems.

A hot mess

Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.

Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story

Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.

but this movie is

I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.

Arrogant empty shell

How the hell did they get such a big budget to make such bland, generic, lifeless movie? It radiates arrogance. The numerous 'emotional' scenes with cheesy minor piano chords fall flat completely because I didn't know or care who these people are!

404 humor not found

Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.

Slow and bad looking

The atmosphere and some of the interior design were promising. But soon it dwells into endless, static conversations, misguided and pointless scenery (what were those jellyfish? What's with the train?) and increasingly worse visuals. With that creature on asteroid-city, they seemed to have given up.

Annoying

Right from the beginning I was incredibly annoyed by this. Everything and everyone is so phony, cheesy, unrealistic and slow. There's a pale spark of excitement in the whole 'what's happening' mystery, but I wonder if even the writers really knew.

Not even God can save this movie

A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.

Looks and feels like a school project

Rather than pointing out the numerous problems in this (homemade?) movie, a more important question would be if the fundamental philosophical issues raised somehow make the them irrelevant, merely an accessory tool for conveying a thought provoking message? No.

It's plain bad

There are a lot of things wrong with this amateuristic scifi horror. Like the cheesy aliens and the many awkward overlong chat scenes. But the completely misleading, non-representative poster artwork is really criminal. Tssssk!

A tiresome mess

So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.

Lazy

What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.

Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown

This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.

I gave up

I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.

As if the plot wasn't bad enough

I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.

Yawning at cenobites

Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.

Too boring, too B

While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.

Unbearably loud

That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.

Sacrilege yourself

Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.

Badly done scifi

A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.

Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs

It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.

You don't fool me

This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?

Maybe girls like it

The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.

Boring and superficial

The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.

Gets tired quickly

Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.

Fascinating AND yawn inducing

This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.

Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources

If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.

Messy

I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.

Stupid and liveless

I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.

Uninspired and stolen

A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.

Ruined by the characters

Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.

Pretentious, boring and annoying

I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.

You may skip this

I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.

Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull

Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.

A turkey of the second kind

A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.

ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie

For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.

Cool action without a soul

Sure, there is some smart looking, pretty bad-ass exo-suit/robot/hi-tech warfare in here. But the movie is another truly awful Chinese attempt to copy dumb blockbuster vibes, boring characters, unclear action and yawn inducing cliche crap. Shit man, spend that money and CGI skills more wisely.

What a turnoff

Mostly a boring soap opera where they speak in Hollywood cliches. Their relationship is ice cold and unconvincing. The woman is confusingly flip flop towards the SM, and the corresponding scenes are bullshit as they kept it 'romantic' and pretty to look at. A feather? Really!?

Nope. Still a B movie.

With steady reference to a comic book, some boldsy camera work and heaps of crazy martial arts this might have winded up being smirky and fun. But it is mostly tedious and bizarre, and the lead character appears to have been typecasted as a universal B movie karate dork.

Tiresome scifi bonanza

There's actually some okay stuff here and there: some effects, some scenes, some concepts, some designs. But it's just so bloated and hysteric, like they wanted to include everything they could think of and barf it onto you in an endless stream. Very tiresome.

Can you make it till the end

I am afraid I loathe these 'young adult' future novels as of late. I can't stand these plastic, one dimensional people living in these ridiculous worlds doing unlikely stuff, always looking oh so pretty as they go along. The only savior are the imaginative and classy 'sim' scenes near the end.

All things wrong with big Hollywood productions

A terrible film that checks all the boxes of overblown Hollywood-Michael-Bay like hysteria, stupidity and shallowness.

Pointless and quite uninteresting

The creation of the monster is briefly told in flashbacks while the opening titles are still running. The fact that he is Frankentein's is hardly relevant. He is basically a strong, civilized dude fighting demons, in a dull and stiff copycat of Underworld and Van Helsing Gothic stylistics.

No twist?

I liked how it was all set up and some of the music in the beginning. But soon enough it is evident that the actors or screenplay are below par. But what bugged me the most is that they missed the opportunity to add some double layers and twists into the story, of which I can easily think of some.

Pointless and boring prequel

Many people were impressed bu apparent plot twist, but I was very bored with this empty shell, and found the acting was quite problematic. Adults acting like children is always so over the top, like they act like a caricature of a generic child. Weird and cringy.

Afwul soap barely kept afloat by a vaguely interesting story

The mysterious event was enticing enough to drag me through the first season, but barely so. The problem is the incredibly soapy style of the actors, cinematography and pacing. Cheesy perfect persons constantly walking into the scene at the right moment to seamlessly join the conversation. Ugh.

Sympathetic but very boring

I really tried to get into the flow of this slow-burn movie, as a small, delicate an intimate story about big issues. But boring is boring, and the quasi-meaningful dialogue and cascade of pointless scenes made me yell COME ON too many times.

Nice demo

Looks and feels like a computergame. Come to think of it, games nowadays have more interesting en deep characters than this painfully boring, flat and hollow production. It's always an embarrassing experience when so much is going on and you don't care about any of it.

blub blub

Instead of the nail-biting, claustrophobic movie the storyline caters for, it came out surprisingly dull and lame. Characters are boring, nothing really works, pacing is off, music is off, story totally implausible. It sinks even further when it tries to be witty.

Vague unrewarding stories

Incomprehensible at first, I got some ease of mind when I realized it's just some vague ideas and separate stories glued together in a movie. In itself still a feasible concept, but in here it was just a bit pointless and directionless, without any payoff.

Unable to compensate for the little resources it had

An irresistible story and some of the space graphics are not too bad. But they contrast starkly with the amateuristic 'interior' of the spaceship, and the bizarre procedures of the space flight and handling of possible alien artifacts (plastic bag?). I also missed a point or clue to any of it.

Cult is hard

It is going for a cult status with an over the top story, a bit of gore, humor and loads of colorful, quotable characters. But I found none of these components particularly successful, and the pacing seems off as frankly I got quite bored with it.

A B-movie in disguise

Non-stop pretty, but also painfully slow, tedious and full of uninspired really poor dialogue. They are too eager to portray Riddick as a mysterious, ubercool, enigmatic hero, instead turning him into an unsympathetic showoff.

Soggy family drama with occasional space things

Don't get tricked into thinking this is a scifi adventure. This is a soap opera, featuring an insanely uncooperative and unprofessional crew, bitching and moaning and solving tedious problems like the water supply and the flue. Back on earth, there is slow nagging family drama and diseases. Ugh!

Experiment failed

This could and should have been a geeky mind bending gem like Primer. But it is achingly slow at times, the science is underpowered and the scientists behave unnatural. Especially that Carter guy, who single-handedly wrecks this movie with really painful, unwatchable and ridiculous overacting.

Looong everyting

Occasionally it strikes a chord, but EVERYTHING - be it people talking, staring, chasing, monologuing, contemplating, fighting, briefing or debriefing - takes so freaking long it starts to mess with your mind.

Underperforms in many fields

A surprisingly boring flick that feels like it was made ten years too late and does a lot of things wrong. I was especially annoyed by the humorless role of the female interest, it never got scary or tense and it severely lacked some good music.

Burning boredom

If looking at a burning skeleton hero obliterating devil scum is still boring and liveless... something must be wrong.

Lifeless

Nothing wrong with the idea, but it is let down by the miscasted lead playing the cocky, cold emo-scientist. The story is also annoyingly vague, and not in the intriguing, mind-bending way I was hoping for. A few days after watching this, my wife asked how it ended and I had no idea what to say.

Kids in space

These kids are trained for space command by having them play a pointless Harry Potter floating game! This unwatchable movie is full of such nasty face palm moments, burying the sharp looking visuals deep beneath the surface. "He has a complicated response to authority" - who talks like that?

Too many issues

It's usually nice to view these disasters from the comfort of a lazy chair, but this one has too many issues. Fake effects, cheap and obvious use of stock material, subpar acting, overall implausible events and a really skewed sense of distance, depth and location in the sea.

Nice idea poorly executed

Love the basic idea, but it's executed poorly with rather annoying young adults delivering really bad lines and making everything seem hopelessly amateuristic.

Cloaked with bad decisions

The question is: can you handle obnoxious teenagers with all kinds of uninteresting teenager problems, an unlikely crew of unlikable people, stiff acting and a pointless handheld camera approach in exchange for a few amusing tornado shots? Well, can you?

Could't follow or care

There might be a clever and interesting idea in here, but I am afraid it didn't quite come out for me. It was just to hard to follow, too vague to make sense and often got stuck like a car in a the mud.

fascinatingly unfunny

In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.

Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something

Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.

A lot more was required to make it this bold idea work

A bold mov(i)e which almost exclusively shows the astronaut strapped in his seat. But the amateuristic, jumpy astronaut, the repetitious dialogues and unconvincing procedures are way insufficient to make it work. There's a twist at the end, but if you made it that far you'll probably no longer care.

Not as scary as it looks

This contains some very moody scenery and genuinely nightmarish footage. But the girl's plan is basically walking from one demon challenge to the next, and the rest of the story is either boring or incomprehensible.

Sunk

Not withstanding the good looks and production values, I thought this was a mess. The 50's atmosphere felt cliched, all characters are either obnoxious, one-dimensional or off, the love story was getting on my nerves and I was sort of glad it was over.

Didn't turn out to be a classic

I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.

I felt nothing

A cheerful, colorful, slick looking action superhero movie that went straight through me.

Nothing much to make it work

A bit of a Korean take on Ghost in the Shell, this should interesting. But is is not. The action is utterly unconvincing, and I hated some of the characters who either over-acted or were just cringey and one-dimensional. The story attempts some quasi deep theme's but it all falls flat immediately.

Left me cold (that punchline is probably taken)

One of those movies that, on the face of it, looks quite solid and adept, and makes you wonder why you're not enjoying it more. I think her parent's additional paranormal abilities get in the way of an already uninspired and even boring story that fails to ignite. (That's probably also taken.)

Did not push my buttons

It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.