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Horsehead

A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
4

A failure

Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.
4

Catwoman

Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
4

Maybe girls like it

The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.
4

Jurassic World: Dominion

People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
4

Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs

It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.
4

The Moon

An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
4

Looks okay, afwul kitch movie

Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.
4

Assasins Creed

Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-05-2017
4

Stupid and liveless

I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.
4

Imaginary

Family is confonted with an evil imaginary friend of the youngest daughter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-04-2024
4

A great idea planted in fruitless soil

What a fantastic idea to make horror about imaginary friends. Unfortunately, this movie had just one moment that impressed me. The rest is a formulaic affair with a badly acting daughter, some stupid lines an characters, missed opportunities and a generic trademark Blumhouse horrormovie feel to it.
4

Transformers: Age of Extinction

The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
4

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.
4

Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars

It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
4

Ruined by the characters

Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.
4

The Starving Games

A parody of guess which movie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2015
4

A turkey of the second kind

A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.
4

Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse

Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
4

ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie

For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.
4

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