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ISRA 88

Two astonauts passing time on their way to the end of the universe

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-04-2017
3

Unbearingly boring

Possibly it was trying to say something deep. But this barrage of long, pointless, repetitious scenes, goofy acting and plywood set pieces was just god-awful and made sure I didn't care what it was. A shame, because a journey to the end of the universe sounds so freaking amazing.
3

Scary Movie V

Spoofs, mostly about Mama and Paranormal Activity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013
3

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.
3

Exodus

After the rapture (apparently), a guy tries to find his way to a mysterious door to a better place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021
3

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.
3

EmbriĆ³n

Attempts to tell a story about (mulitple?) people that went missing or weird after an alien encounter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2021
3

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.
3

Alien Invasion

A group of partying kids accidentaly hatch an alien and now need to stay alive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2024
3

Amateur movie without an x factor

Looks like it was put together in a weekend with a bunch of friends who acquired an alien suite. I was looking for some quirks to make this worthwhile still, but was unable to find any. It's hardly an invasion, but perhaps at this level that doesn't even matter.
3

The Room

Lisa is about to marry Johnny, but loves his friend Mark instead.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2022
3

If you can reach the right state of mind, it could be mind blowing

I knew what I was getting into, and was ready for the abysmal to turn into laughter, fascination and/or admiration. But I started to realize you probably need some friends and beers to reach that state, but on my own I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself.
3

Left Behind

One day, millions of people disappear in a flash, leaving a pile of clothes behind.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2014
3

The worst of the eighties

A remarkable exhibit of the worst movie elements from the eighties, brought back to life in the new millennium. Acting, stereotypes, script, humor - all appalling and outdated - accompanied with eighties film music to top it off. Cage must have owed someone a favor!
3

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

White Sky

Hikers see an alien spacehip hanging over a city, after which they are attacked by zombies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2023
3

Not much here and everything takes too long

In the beginning there are some ok-ish elements that made me hopeful this was a low-budget but creative and interesting scifi movie. I was wrong. The main problems are the very thin script and almost absent directing. And all scenes are way too long, making my attention wander off constantly.
3

Battle in Space: The Armada Attacks

Several (unrelated?) scifi stories

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
3

Perhaps if it had decent stories

The stories consist of computer graphics alternated with (amateur?) actors doing stuff, with no real sense of connection. It's all quite hopeless, even if if the clumsiness of it all almost makes it sympathetic. The truly unforgivable sins were the supervague stories and random sensationalist title.
3

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