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God's Not Dead

Christian student is forced to prove the existence of God by one of those malicious atheist philosophy teachers. There's also substories of other idiots (like cancer patients and muslims) finding God

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-08-2016
3.5

but this movie is

I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.
3.5

Paranormal Whacktivity

Sexually frustrated couple is haunted by ghost (also sexually frustrated)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-10-2013
3.5

A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad

Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.
3.5

The Moon

An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
4

Looks okay, afwul kitch movie

Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.
4

The Holly Kane Experiment

Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
4

You don't fool me

This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?
4

Project Ithica

A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
4

Gets tired quickly

Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.
4

The Last Witch Hunter

Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
4

Boring and superficial

The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.
4

V/H/S: Viral

A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
4

Messy

I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.
4

Kickboxer: retaliation

Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
4

You may skip this

I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.
4

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
4

Unbearably loud

That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.
4

The Offering (aka Abyzou)

Man secretely wanting to sell his fathers funeral home, has to deal with cleansing it from evil first

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-07-2023
4

Waisted

Despite one of the scariest locations I know (morgues), tastefully lit scenery and a promise of creepy Orthodox Jewish reli-horror, this movie was unable to craft it into something scary or interesting. Instead, it has only really, really tiresome loud-noise jumpscares to offer.
4

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