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Alien Invasion

A group of partying kids accidentaly hatch an alien and now need to stay alive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2024
3

Amateur movie without an x factor

Looks like it was put together in a weekend with a bunch of friends who acquired an alien suite. I was looking for some quirks to make this worthwhile still, but was unable to find any. It's hardly an invasion, but perhaps at this level that doesn't even matter.
3

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

Age of Tomorrow

An alien attack on earth, seen from the perspective the crew of a space mission and also from some firefighters on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-06-2022
3

Make sure you are drunk first

I bet that if you got drunk, and watch this with some friends, who are also drunk, you could fall into a state of endless uncontrolled laughter. Other than that, we are in Sharknado territory quality wise, but without it intentionally trying to be silly (I think).
3

Mermaid Down

Mermaid is caught, her tail is cut off, she grows legs and ends up in a asylum with weirdos. Yes.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-05-2020
3

A weird failure

Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.
3

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

Megalodon strikes yet again, and an awoken giant robot adds to the misery

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-10-2016
3

It lives up to it's title

So yeh, everything is bad about this movie. But it's not snugly enough to reach the elusive so-bad-it's-good status, even though it was off to a good start with the deep cleavage power babes piloting the subs.
3

Atomica

Woman engineer goes to a faulty device transforming nuclear radiation into energy. Something in there is not quite right.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-07-2017
3

Very cheap - in more than one way

Once she arrives, the only thing that awaits are very long, uninteresting conversations, sub par acting and an empty slow plot in which not much is going on. The poster artwork is completely misleading and does not represent actual footage from the movie. Boooh.
3

White Sky

Hikers see an alien spacehip hanging over a city, after which they are attacked by zombies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2023
3

Not much here and everything takes too long

In the beginning there are some ok-ish elements that made me hopeful this was a low-budget but creative and interesting scifi movie. I was wrong. The main problems are the very thin script and almost absent directing. And all scenes are way too long, making my attention wander off constantly.
3

Stairs, The

Boy and grandpa find stairs in the woods and go missing. Years later, a group of other hikers find them, unaged. And the stairs. And some demon.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021
3

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.
3

Battle in Space: The Armada Attacks

Several (unrelated?) scifi stories

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
3

Perhaps if it had decent stories

The stories consist of computer graphics alternated with (amateur?) actors doing stuff, with no real sense of connection. It's all quite hopeless, even if if the clumsiness of it all almost makes it sympathetic. The truly unforgivable sins were the supervague stories and random sensationalist title.
3

Exodus

After the rapture (apparently), a guy tries to find his way to a mysterious door to a better place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021
3

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.
3

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