BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

Mother of No Destination, A

First, people that discover the immenent end of the world are hunted down, then the remaining people on a space ark are terrorized

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
2

Let's call it art

Listen, I really tried to look at this as a completely homemade, completely amateur movie, but even then I did not find any redeeming qualities. Maybe it's deliberately trying to be as bad as can be, so that it becomes art or intoxicating. I must admit I felt weird after watching it.
2

Alien Predator

Team of soldiers sets out to investigate what happenend to another team of soldiers who investigated a mysterious crash landing

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
2.5

Not frosty

All this is are shaky shots of soldiers making their way through the jungle, delivering an (often bizarre) stream of military speak and cliches as they go along. Stay frosty! Some of the make-up effects of dismembered limbs are the only thing of any quality.
2.5

Beneath

Some kids go on a rowing boat but there's a big fish in the water

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-04-2021
2.5

Crap without a savior

All I tuned in for was annoying teenagers being eaten. And while that certainly is the case, this movie still manages to disappoint. It fails to latch on to any redeeming factor of such movies, like fun, gore, tension, great fx or jump scares. Nothing. Infuriating and totally unbelievable.
2.5

Dominion

An alien invansion is at hand, but there is other aliens already walking among us but they can't help us with that. And this one guy tries to expose these events and help an alien find his earth girl.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2015
2.5

Heinous

A dreadful montage of vague ideas and slow, disconnected actors driving around in big cars doing whatever, with music desperately trying to make it remotely exiting. It is almost impossible to keep your attention to this and not fall asleep. The prologue was oddly interesting by comparison.
2.5

Room, The

Lisa is about to marry Johnny, but loves his friend Mark instead.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2022
3

If you can reach the right state of mind, it could be mind blowing

I knew what I was getting into, and was ready for the abysmal to turn into laughter, fascination and/or admiration. But I started to realize you probably need some friends and beers to reach that state, but on my own I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself.
3

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

Megalodon strikes yet again, and an awoken giant robot adds to the misery

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-10-2016
3

It lives up to it's title

So yeh, everything is bad about this movie. But it's not snugly enough to reach the elusive so-bad-it's-good status, even though it was off to a good start with the deep cleavage power babes piloting the subs.
3

Alien Invasion

A group of partying kids accidentaly hatch an alien and now need to stay alive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2024
3

Amateur movie without an x factor

Looks like it was put together in a weekend with a bunch of friends who acquired an alien suite. I was looking for some quirks to make this worthwhile still, but was unable to find any. It's hardly an invasion, but perhaps at this level that doesn't even matter.
3

Scary Movie V

Spoofs, mostly about Mama and Paranormal Activity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013
3

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.
3

Age of Tomorrow

An alien attack on earth, seen from the perspective the crew of a space mission and also from some firefighters on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-06-2022
3

Make sure you are drunk first

I bet that if you got drunk, and watch this with some friends, who are also drunk, you could fall into a state of endless uncontrolled laughter. Other than that, we are in Sharknado territory quality wise, but without it intentionally trying to be silly (I think).
3

Movies found: 1039 | max movies per page: 10 | Showing: 1 - 10

Next