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A Mother of No Destination

First, people that discover the immenent end of the world are hunted down, then the remaining people on a space ark are terrorized

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021

Let's call it art

Listen, I really tried to look at this as a completely homemade, completely amateur movie, but even then I did not find any redeeming qualities. Maybe it's deliberately trying to be as bad as can be, so that it becomes art or intoxicating. I must admit I felt weird after watching it.
2

Alien Predator

Team of soldiers sets out to investigate what happenend to another team of soldiers who investigated a mysterious crash landing

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019

Not frosty

All this is are shaky shots of soldiers making their way through the jungle, delivering an (often bizarre) stream of military speak and cliches as they go along. Stay frosty! Some of the make-up effects of dismembered limbs are the only thing of any quality.
2.5

Dominion

An alien invansion is at hand, but there is other aliens already walking among us but they can't help us with that. And this one guy tries to expose these events and help an alien find his earth girl.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-11-2015

Heinous

A dreadful montage of vague ideas and slow, disconnected actors driving around in big cars doing whatever, with music desperately trying to make it remotely exiting. It is almost impossible to keep your attention to this and not fall asleep. The prologue was oddly interesting by comparison.
2.5

Beneath

Some kids go on a rowing boat but there's a big fish in the water

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-04-2021

Crap without a savior

All I tuned in for was annoying teenagers being eaten. And while that certainly is the case, this movie still manages to disappoint. It fails to latch on to any redeeming factor of such movies, like fun, gore, tension, great fx or jump scares. Nothing. Infuriating and totally unbelievable.
2.5

Scary Movie V

Spoofs, mostly about Mama and Paranormal Activity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.
3

The Stairs

Boy and grandpa find stairs in the woods an go missing. Years later, a group of other hikers find them, unaged. And the stairs. And some demon.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.
3

Exodus

After the rapture (apparently), a guy tries to find his way to a mysterious door to a better place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2021

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.
3

Left Behind

One day, millions of people disappear in a flash, leaving a pile of clothes behind.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-12-2014

The worst of the eighties

A remarkable exhibit of the worst movie elements from the eighties, brought back to life in the new millennium. Acting, stereotypes, script, humor - all appalling and outdated - accompanied with eighties film music to top it off. Cage must have owed someone a favor!
3

EmbriĆ³n

Attempts to tell a strory about (mulitple?) people that went missing or weird after an alien encounter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2021

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.
3

Atomica

Woman engineer goes to a faulty device transforming nuclear radiation into energy. Something in there is not quite right.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-07-2017

Very cheap - in more than one way

Once she arrives, the only thing that awaits are very long, uninteresting conversations, sub par acting and an empty slow plot in which not much is going on. The poster artwork is completely misleading and does not represent actual footage from the movie. Boooh.
3

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