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Total Recall (2012)

Man inserts cool secret agent memories in his brain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2013
7.5

A very decent sci-fi action thriller.

If you manage to NOT see this as a reboot, it's a fine sci-fi action flick with some great designs.
7.5

Top Gun: Maverick

Maverick is called back to train a team destined to do the most dangerous mission ever

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-06-2022
8

The people don't work for me anymore, but the flying does

I had some trouble buying into the somewhat desperate portrayal of these pilots as beautiful, perfect, witty, slick, hip beings and the insubordinate way they go about their briefings and missions - even if this is Top Gun. But hell yes, the air footage and final combat makes up for it.
8

Tomorrowland aka Project T

A rebelious teenage girl is the chosen one to glimpse into a future world - and save it too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2015
7.5

Gorgeous but Disney

For younsters, this is a splendid and exciting space adventure with a great spirit. Grumpy old men like me need to deal additionally with the miles thick morals, and the over-smart main character and her indifference towards the amazing things she encounters.
7.5

Tomorrow War, The

People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
6

Forgettable and hardly interesting

While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.
6

Tombraider

Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
6.5

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good

It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.
6.5

Tokyo Gore Police

A special police officer is on an assigment to take care evil modified humans, which involves a lot of bloodshed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
7

Entertaining blood fountains

For the most part I was very entertained by the bizarre atmosphere and blood fountains. It's a nice doze of insanity that is so over the top you can enjoy without remorse. After a while though, it did get a bit pointless and clueless.
7

Titane

Woman goes on a killing spree and then hides by becoming someone's son. I kid you not. Also, something with cars.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-04-2023
7

Strange, unpleasant yet secretly fascinating

One of the strangest movies I have seen. I found it an unpleasant experience in ways I had not felt before. Everything is just so confusing, nasty, sweaty and ugly. But at the same time I was fascinated enough to look up the director and will keep track of her future works.
7

Titan, The

On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
6

Experiment failed

It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.
6

Time Trap

When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
6

Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere

I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.
6

Time Lapse

Three friends discover a device that takes a photo of their house everyday at eight o clock.... tomorrow

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-01-2016
8.5

Hats off to the minds that can cook up a story like this

A mind boggling story that continuously left me balancing on whether I was aboard or not, and had me drawing diagrams the next morning. And as if the story weren't complex enough, their is still room for an additional twist at the end too. Very clever.
8.5

Tides aka The Colony

Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
6.5

Promising beginning, so-so rest

Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.
6.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

This is the End

Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
6

Mostly self absorbed

The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.
6

They/Them

A conversion camp for gays and other QHBT+ variations holds dark secrets and methods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-02-2023
7

Mostly fine

I wasn't sure I wanted to watch an entire movie featuring exaggerated Q+HTBI characters, but Kevin Bacon is putting on quite a show, and the slowly developing sinister undertone makes it interesting. As it draws to and end, it felt ideas ran out and it winded up as a mediocre slasher.
7

There's Something Wrong With the Children

Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
6

Not intense or scary enough

The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.
6

Them That Follow

A woman of a secluded religious community, that does snake handling to prove their faith, has a secret

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
7

Slow, but something is growing

The movie has a very serene atmosphere in which the slow daily life in the woods is portrayed very well, so much so that in fact halfway I almost started to long for some action. But there's a constant under the skin buzz that keeps it mysterious and kept me watching, with memorable performances.
7

Thanatomorphose

A woman's body starts rotting while she is still alive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
7.5

Unpleasant but relevant curiosity

It's a glooming, filthy and let's not forget very slow film that's not for everyone. But I have to say it worked too. The way she endures it, all alone in her windowless apartment, without seeking help, adds to an deep sense of isolation and depression, and a deeper meaning to it.
7.5

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Folks buy an old town to turn it into something hip, but one house still contains the freaky villain from the seventies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2023
7

Succesful slasher

While I suspect fans of the original have plenty to complain about, in itself I found this to be a fairly solid slasher movie. It has some good gore, and the tension in some scenes is well done and certainly above average.
7

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
6.5

A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie

What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.
6.5

testmovie

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average 6.8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
4.5

final floattest, can't be one integer

2.5 for me
4.5

robocop
robocop
20-05-2013
9.5

It will also float this

Floating with 9.5
9.5

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-05-2013
6.5

testing it with float integer

floating rating 6.5
6.5

Terrifier 2

Girl faces a a clown that slaughters people in the most brutal ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2022
7.5

A bold slaughterfest with eighties vibe

There's plenty of shock value, with executions that are bloody and painful the watch. They also managed to set up an eighties vibe by the colors used, and perhaps even the acting style. But I also felt is was a bit long and pointless.
7.5

Terminator: Genisys

The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
6

Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'

Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.
6

Terminator Dark Fate

More or less the original story but with more females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
5.5

No

Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.
5.5

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Again, a terminator comes back in time to secure the future. Again, he is hunted down by an advanced terminator model

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
7

A lesser but stilll adequate episode

Not as epic and overwhelming as the preceding parts, in part because of the rather dull main characters. Still, there's plenty of Terminator goodness in here to have a good time. Average actionmovies back then still were more fun than the soulless fx bonanzas we get nowadays.
7

Terminator, The

In the future, killer robotmachines rule, and send a terminator cyborg back to the presents prevent prevent the human rebellion leader from ever being born.
average 7.0

robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
5

Not bad for such a wuzz

It lacks soul like i have. In the end, it is human decision making that settles things.
5

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
01-02-2013
7

Could have been better meow

This movie needed more latex I could have privided, as well as more meow. Anywway this review is a bit on the long side for testing purposes.
7

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-01-2013
9

The definition of cyborg

This movie not only is still the final word in cyborgs, it also demonstrated how such a movie could be genuinly exciting and intellegent.
9

Tenet

A special agent is ask to assist in a mysterious mission to prevent WW3, for which he encounters things that go back in time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-09-2020
8.5

The most audacious and genius movie ever, but does that mean enjoybale

Clearly we have another Nolan gem on our hands, in terms of visuals, music and the mind blowing story. Initially I wondered if the complexity was just too much, getting in the way of enjoyment. But as it starts to digest in days after, you begin to grasp the sheer genius and audacity of this.
8.5

Temple, The

Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
5.5

They forgot to write it

I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.
5.5

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

Teeth

A girl finds she has teeth in her vagina (there's actually a name for that too: Vagina testada)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-02-2023
7.5

Surprisingly good

Oh my, what kind of movie can possibly come out of this? A pretty good one, apparently! I was pleasantly surprised by an effective mix of drama, horror and humor. It takes itself seriously with becoming heavy handed, and even has some good cinematographic moments in there too.
7.5

Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas

When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
6

An unnecessary movie with no audience

If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.
6

Ted

A boy's teddybear comes to live and they become best friends.... which becomes problematic when he is an adult

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2013
7.5

Should have been even funnier

The whole idea is so outstandingly funny that I couldn't help feeling somewhat disappointed. But it IS funny.
7.5

Tau

Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
6

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows

While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.
6

Talk to Me

Them kids play with a model of a hand that brings them in contact with ghosts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-09-2023
7

An above average spirt summoner

Summoning the spirits and the inevitable consequences may be a familiar theme, but I thought this movie had enough ideas of it's own to keep it fresh and interesting. I wish it was scarier though, and that I liked the characters more.
7

Taking of Deborah Logan, The

Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
6.5

Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary

This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.
6.5

Tabernacle 101

Dude dies and revives to prove there is no afterlife. Dark consequences result.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2023
3.5

Maximum amateurism

I don't mind the similar story to Flatliners; it's an exciting concept there deserves be explored further, and is something that could work fine for a movie with little resources. Unfortunately, this is amateuristic to the core.
3.5

T-34

A Russian ace tank commander is captured by the germans, but gets a unique opportunity to escape. With a tank, of course.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2020
7.5

Tank porn. It exists.

A rather bold action flick showing loads of tanks with super slowmo shell penetrations and sweaty screaming Russians. I feared it was more of a videoclip than a movie, but the story catches up and makes it worthwhile and quite exciting indeed. Perfect for tank aficionados like me.
7.5

Synchronicity

Small teams get a timemachine to run work, one of them gets caught up in paradoxes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
5

The story is there. Execution is not.

There's probably a really clever, if not somewhat difficult to follow, story in here. But the really lackluster execution, dull performances, suspiciously limited locations and depressing dark colors made me struggle to care... no matter how much bladerunner music they throw in!
5

Swiss Army Man

A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
6.5

Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts

I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.
6.5

Sweet Home

A group of very different people in an appartment building is faced with fighting monsters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2021
5

The characters hit a nerve I did not know I had

The groundwork was promising; colorful cartoon-like imagery, pleasantly weird monsters and potentially interesting group dynamics. But none of the people is particularly likable. In fact I started to despise many of them up until the point I could no longer watch it. Never had this before.
5

Svart Krabba

In a fictive war, soldiers are send into the night on skates, to cross a lake for a world saving mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-05-2022
7

Decent little war movie that does things differently.

Overall it doesn't feel very plausible, and some of the combat feels slightly tame and lacking suspense. But it's different, varied and builts up to a unexpectedly large finale and plot twist. An amusing watch for sure.
7

Suzume

Girl is on a mission to stop doors from releasing sky worms that cause earthquakes, together with her friend - who turned into a chair.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2023
7.5

Why minds should be set free

Go see it if you don't buy that description. I really appreciated this wildly imaginative story backed up with spectacular animation. It is a testimony for what may come from unrestricted, unbound filmmaking... even if the result may be difficult to connect with emotionally.
7.5

Suspiria (2018)

Talented ballet dancer is accepted in a mysterious danceschool, were something occult is going on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019
7.5

Uneasy

While not as deeply disturbing as the of hype would make you believe, it was uneasy for sure. I liked it; photography was beautiful, and the slow tension and mystery keeps you hooked. But at the same time, I was slightly disappointed for not requiring therapy afterwards.
7.5

Superdeep, The

Russian horror about a rescue team entering the deepest researchfacility on earth where strange things have been occuring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2021
7

Plenty to complain about, but enough going for it

Maybe it didn't quite nail the claustrophobic atmosphere the way it could have, it aches towards a B-movie and most characters are unlikable and simplistic. But I gotta say: the overall concept is creepy and done nicely, and the mold/spore enemy original and impressive. Nice music, too
7

Superbad

Two constantly arguing but inseparable friends on a mission to get booze and laid on the last party of the year

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2018
7.5

The Tarantino of highschool movies

The constant and lengthy foul-mouthed dialogues and contemplations create an atmosphere reminiscent of Tarantino movies. It's kind of like an adult version of highschool movies. Cool.
7.5

Sunshine

On a spacemission to reignate the sun, one ordeal leads to another when they decide to make a small change in the missionplan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
8.5

Beauty and class can outshine anything

This amount of loopholes and illogical elements in the plot would have crippled most movies. But Sunshine is so beautiful, classy and exciting that it outshines them easily. I also love the self aware, scientific-ethical attitude of the crew.
8.5

Sully

On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
6.5

Over dramatized

The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??
6.5

Suicide Club

Detectives try to figure out a pandamic of mass suicides

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2023
7

Good until the actual club shows up

The first half is quite shocking and uneasy, as we're all left in the dark as to what is causing these tragedies. Then the real 'club' shows up, which are terribly annoying characters who do annoying things and form a dissonant wedge from which the film does not recover.
7

Sucker Punch

Girl is institutionalized, but lives violent fantasies while dancing which help her escape it the end. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
7.5

Violent video clip, done with much love

Easy to fault, but I was amused by the violent, fabulously stylized, unearthly, anachronistic action, as well as the moody and steamy atmosphere. Absorb it like a videoclip, then you may get it.
7.5

Strays, The

A woman's high life is disturbed when two children show up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-03-2023
7

A decent horror drama

More drama than horror, but a feeling of increasing discomfort and dread is unmistakable. Everything is done pretty well, and I liked how the timelines of two perspectives come together. But part of me felt it remained a little lightweight, could have hit harder.
7

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

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