BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Away
Mum goes to Mars. Away from her family.
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Soggy family drama with occasional space things
Don't get tricked into thinking this is a scifi adventure. This is a soap opera, featuring an insanely uncooperative and unprofessional crew, bitching and moaning and solving tedious problems like the water supply and the flue. Back on earth, there is slow nagging family drama and diseases. Ugh!À l'intérieur (inside)
A woman has a baby inside her belly and a stalker inside her home
Wittenberg
01-01-2024
A very trilling home invasion flick, but not for the fainthearted
It's a unpleasant, painful, violent and - especially towards the end - quite gory movie that is probably too much for the most of us. But I have to say, as a home invasion movie it was very tense en gripping, and the feeling of desolation and hopelessness was very well done.Babadook, The
Widow is trying to get by with her needy son when she also releases a shadowy presence in her house by reading a strange childrens book
Wittenberg
02-02-2019
Succesful on multiple levels
Even more than the restrained and tasteful horror story, I was impressed by the suffocating and agonizing experience of watching her slide into insanity, due to sleep deprivation, desperation and social seclusion. It's sad, original, scary and intense. Bravo.Babylon
The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies
I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.Bad Biology
Nymphomaniac with multiple clitori crosses path with a guy who's overgrown penis has a mind of it's own. Not porn. I think.
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Weird filth that does what it wants and I commend them for it
This was sort of rebellious and liberating in a way, but perhaps that's just because I watched too many generic and formulaic Hollywood movies lately. Sure it is bad, trashy and bizarre, but somehow it doesn't care and I sort of enjoyed the audacity of it.Bad Milo
When people agitate this man, a demon comes out of his ass and eats them. No Shit.
Wittenberg
03-01-2014
Naughty and pleasantly bizarre
but the constant rectal suffering could make you nauseous.Bait
After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
Amazingly ok
Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!Banquet, A
A mother tries to handle a daugther who, after a visit to the woods, no longer eats and feels she now has a higher purpose
Wittenberg
21-03-2022
A modest horror with it's own style, but a bit thin on substance
This is a nice, modest mystery with a dash of horror but nothing hysteric. The atmosphere is moody and the central theme of eating and food is lain out well. However, it is dangerously close to being rather uneventful, and can feel kind of improvised as it tries to reach the end.Barbarian
When a girl arrives at her BnB, it is allready occupied. But that is just a prelude to the horror the house contains.
Wittenberg
18-12-2022
A tasty, fresh and creepy horror
A horror with a steady focus, that expertly cashes in on our native fear of dark hallways and is proud do things slightly different. I also like how they keep it fresh with introducing new characters and perspectives a couple of times throughout the movie.Barbarouse Mexico
Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
Gritty but pointless
The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.Based on a True Story
A writer with writers' block and pending depression meets a new friend that helps her get through, but how deep can she interfere?
Wittenberg
23-12-2023
A fine psychological drama but nothing spectacular
This movie was quite a departure from my usual scifi and horror picks, but I have to say it kept my interest all the way. This is mainly because of the strong lead actresses, and a subtle anxiety woven through the story. But a little bit more spice would have been welcome for me.Baskin
Turkish movie about a police squad ending up in a devilish mansion
Wittenberg
02-04-2018
Original, effective and hellish
While the actors may not be very likable, at least their character are unique and distinct, and we are given the time to get to know them. The finale is truly hellish, the atmosphere is ominous and there's some interesting stuff going on in the time line as well.Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
Tiresome spectacle
A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.Battle in Space: The Armada Attacks
Several (unrelated?) scifi stories
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
Perhaps if it had decent stories
The stories consist of computer graphics alternated with (amateur?) actors doing stuff, with no real sense of connection. It's all quite hopeless, even if if the clumsiness of it all almost makes it sympathetic. The truly unforgivable sins were the supervague stories and random sensationalist title.Battle Royal
A class of students are placed on an island, and the game is that only one survives
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
A bloodfest turned into snoozefest
I was curious because it was listed somewhere as a real shocker, but the gore is not that bad - less so than many splatter horrors around. Furthermore I don't think I will ever get used to Japanese overacting and drama. The scholars are boring, annoying and their contemplations uninteresting.Beau is Afraid
A scarred man is literally and figuratively going on a bad trip to his mother
Wittenberg
27-08-2023
A wonderfully bad trip
To think that someone made up this story, somehow decided it was finished, and concluded it was ready to make a movie out of it is even more baffling the the movie itself. But here it is, and I am glad it is. A wild ride, bizarre, disorienting but also skillfully made, intriguing and unique.Beaver, The
Depressed man finds therapy by talking to himself using a beaver handpuppet
Wittenberg
25-02-2013
Can I say 'great' about this much depression?
Even the premise of this movie gets you depressed, but it was a fine piece of work - courtesy of the actors in this.Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
They get mistaken for drilling talents and are sent into space, causing havoc across space and it's dimensions
Wittenberg
01-08-2022
If you needed more of it, then this delivers
I for one missed these guys, and this movie simply delivers a generous portion of everything you love and hate about them, wrapped in a story that's reasonably fresh without ever drifting away from the essence.Begotten
Extremely grainy footage of extemely disturbing stuff happening
Wittenberg
17-07-2024
A curious and unstelling project that intrigues
The disturbing and intriguing images, presented on extremely deteriorated film with nausea inducing sounds, make this almost unbearable (had to turn down the brightness), which I guess was the idea. I did find that looking at something you don't understand can only last for so long.Beneath
Some kids go on a rowing boat but there's a big fish in the water
Wittenberg
03-04-2021
Crap without a savior
All I tuned in for was annoying teenagers being eaten. And while that certainly is the case, this movie still manages to disappoint. It fails to latch on to any redeeming factor of such movies, like fun, gore, tension, great fx or jump scares. Nothing. Infuriating and totally unbelievable.Benedetta
Nun in Monastry developes sexual feelings for another nun. And stigmata, too.
Wittenberg
25-12-2021
The mix works
Lesbians nuns would seem like a recipe for disaster, but I don't think it is. The mystery of her divinity and stigmata is interesting enough, the religious habits give it some weight, the supernatural elements give it some spice, and well - it can be sort of erotic. Interesting package deal.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the prospect of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.Beyond Skyline
Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
Strange mixture
An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.Beyond the Black Rainbow
I THINK it's about a woman in therapy in a secluded hypermodern (in the eighties at least) facility, trying to get out
Wittenberg
13-06-2016
If you see it you might need therapy also
A weird ass trip of the first kind, in which you mostly have to figure out for yourself what to make of it as you are being sedated by the psychedelic colors and imagery. Its crawling pace is both a strength and weakness. Not for everyone, but I was quite hooked indeed.BFG, The
Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Lovingly made but not immersing
I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.Big Hero 6
Talented young inventor must befriend (and upgrade) a clumpsy medical robot in order to save the world from his own invention
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
Excellent
A fantastic animation that is spot on with exiting action, great visuals, humor and it is not afraid to reach some deeper emotions as well.Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
Lacks in too many areas to make it work
The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.Bird Box
Woman tries to bring two kids to a save haven in a world overrun by a suicide pandamonium
Wittenberg
02-01-2019
Original and exhilarating
My goodness: a highly original (not withstanding the similar 'The Happening'), strongly acted and nail-biting movie that is very well put together. Those are not easy to come by these days. It once again shows the strength of NOT showing or explaining everything and anything.Bird Box Barcelona
A man and his daughter are trying to survive in a half-blind world, where seeing creatures means instant suicide
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
A fair addition to the tale
My compliments for staying true to the concept, yet finding a story from a new viewpoint, instead of just doing the same movie again (in Barcelona). Overall, it is a pretty tense and entertaining movie, even if it slightly dozes off during the bits between the action.Birdman
A former action film hero wants to be recognised as serious actor in his own broadway play, meanwhile his world seems to be falling apart
Wittenberg
19-06-2016
Quiet something
A unique movie displaying a wealth of class-A acting by the entire cast, together with amazing camerawork literally floating through the clever script, backup up a great musical score.RockmeNow
02-02-2015
Surrealistic flight with the birdman
This movie balances on the ambiguous line between arthouse and mainstream films. Surrealistic and flatout weird at times, but also insightfull, captivating and refreshing. I enjoyed this movie, to my own surprise :)Black Demon, The
A family vacation winds up on a decommissioned oilrig with a huge shark patroling the waters
Wittenberg
01-01-2024
Lacklustre, even for a a shark movie
For some reason big shark movies get a pass for not being of much quality, but even so this one is a bit problematic. There was a lack of inspiration to do actual sharks scenes, so there's a lot of chatty fillers about the environment and vague folklore. Some subplots even seemed abandoned.Black Sea
Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow
With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.Black Snake Moan
When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
I saw through it
Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.Black Swan
Ballet dancer pushed over the edge to portray the black Swan
Wittenberg
28-12-2021
Slightly overated but still good
A dark movie that offers some acting fireworks and I loved how the insanity and hallucinations slowly creep in. However, I cannot back up the the high appraisal it received entirely; for that I would have needed it to go deeper, further and darker.Blackhat
In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Nicely shot nonsense
It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.Blade Runner 2049
A more advanced android hunts down the older models, finding out things he wasn't supposed to along the way
Wittenberg
26-11-2017
Ladies and gentlemen: a sequel that's better than the original
It's got the same visual style but vastly more beautiful and elaborate. It's got the same synth-music but it is thicker and more intense. It's still a slow mover but more engrossing while doing so. It's got similar story elements but it's deeper. So like, it's better!Blade Runner: Final Cut
Blade Runner is an agent hunting down hard to spot rogue androids
Wittenberg
15-11-2017
A classic that is a little too slow for it's own good
A moody and stylish scifi movie that defined the standard for shaping futuristic dark cities and matched it with a great soundtrack. I like how it takes time for everything, including people simply going from A to B, but near the end the slow pacing isn't quite rewarded by the underwhelming climax.Blair Witch (2016)
Armed with 7 million camera's, a brother sets of to find his sister who disappeard in the cursed woods
Wittenberg
09-07-2017
The formula is still scary, but you start to look through it
This felt scary but over-familiar, and the realism achieved by the found footage started to feel very unrealistic instead. I mean who the hell carries this many cameras and shoots this much at these insane moment? Kudos though, for some of the actors enacting deep deep fear in the finale.Blame!
In a world where strange entities keep building endless structures and annihilating humans, a mysterious man may be a saviour
Wittenberg
30-10-2023
A cool anime deserving a better title
This oddly titled anime features some beautiful and moody drawings, exiting action, great music and snappy sound effects. On top of that, the story has some depth and interest, so this added up to a rather enjoyable package.Blodtur a.k.a. Bloodride
A couple of short horror stories from Norway
Wittenberg
05-04-2023
Quite unique and fun, not really scary though
While I would have liked these to be more gory and/or scary, I found the first 4 very amusing and fresh spooky tales, with some clever and inspired stories. The final two a bit less so.Blonde
The (miserable) live of Marilyn Monroe
Wittenberg
27-01-2023
Beautiful bad trip
I was not particularly interest in her backstory, and expected a long biography with loud fifties music to claim authenticity. Instead, this turned out a highly artistic, dreamy and beautiful bad trip that I found very gripping and mesmerizing. Suitable for non-fans.Bloodshot
Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
Lacks characters to make it work
With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.Blue is the Warmest Color (La Vie d'Adèle)
Girl becomes lesbian
Wittenberg
21-02-2016
Beautiful but too long and too slow
You have to admire how the gorgeous lead actrices carry this story with beautifully authentic acting. But everything takes so freaking long in this movie, everything is so spread out that in the end even the intimate love scenes started to bore me.Blue Jasmine
Woman becomes emotionally unstable after her wealthy, cheating and fraudulent husband goes to prison, but tries to get on with her life anyway
RockmeNow
17-03-2014
Typical Woody Allen movie?
I heard rumours that some Woody Allen movies are actually not that bad. This certainly is a movie aimed at character building and slow story telling, but nevertheless kept me interested till the last scene. Eventually, I even felt sorry for the main character, played by Cate Blanchett.Bodies Bodies Bodies
Teens play a murder game in a desolate house all for themselves. Not before long, shit turns real and paranoia reaches extremes
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
Pretty cool contemporary whoddunit
The prospect of watching superhip Tiktok kids yelling stuff like ghosting and gaslighting while screaming and running through the house was not appealing to me. But I gotta say, these actors portray some pretty intense characters, adding to pretty intense, contemporary whodunnit film.Bodkin
A team of of 3 distinct personalities goes to an irish village to make a true crime podcast about dissappeared locals
Wittenberg
19-05-2024
A bold and quirky detective, just not for me
These series should win a lot of fans, with a remarkable lighthearted vibe, quirky characters and plenty of small-town detective-work. For me personally, I just wasn't thrilled by it. Everything was too unlikely, convenient and too written out for that. I am not even sure I liked everyone.Bokeh
Two lovers on a vaction in Iceland one day wake up to find they're all alone
Wittenberg
09-12-2017
Sympathetic and pretty, but runs out of fuel
Starts of fine with beautiful shots of Iceland, moody music, sympathetic actors and by keeping everything small and intimate. But gradually, the 'pretty scenes with music' start to feel like pointless fillers, and I think it tried to say something religious but I am not sure what.Bone Tomahawk
Cowboys go on a mission to rescue fellow-cowboys who were kidnapped by brutal Indians
Wittenberg
10-05-2023
Served straight up, which is both good and bad
I was lured into this reading somewhere that it was a cross between western and horror. Wrongly so, because it really is a western with perhaps some gore at the end. It was okay; very linear, straightforward story with no window dressing. This made it pure and natural, but not really exciting.Book of Boba Fett, The
Boba is now a mayor
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
As if the plot wasn't bad enough
I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.boxtrolls, The
Bunch of trolls living in boxes and causing mayhem, are hunted and captured by an evil man. A boy who grew up among the trolls tries to save them...
RockmeNow
20-01-2015
Slightly sinister animation movie
A nicely animated movie with some anticipated twists in the plot every now and then. Somehow I wasn't completely pulled in by the story, but an enjoyable watch anyway.Boyhood
Movie portraying the ups and downs in the life of Mason and his family between his 5th and 18th year
RockmeNow
20-01-2015
There are many good reasons why this movie is nominated for the Oscars
I was suprised by the excellent casting and makeup artists that convincingly managed to make the characters look older during the movie, until I realised (read somewhere) that it was filmed with the same cast over a 12 year period. Great acting and empathetic presentation of the targeted zeitgeist.Brain Dead / Dead Alive
An exotic rat bite turn the dead into zombies. An dorky man and his girlfriend fight them with all their might.
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
A classic, but has lost some impact over the years
It reached new levels of splatter-gore when it came out, and it still is quite a bloodbath today. The humorous tone helps to make the somewhat campy effects acceptable, but prevents it from becoming really scary or gross.Brand New Cherry Flavor
Young movie director has her movie stolen in Hollywood, so she asks a witch to help her take revenge
Wittenberg
22-11-2021
A remarkable and bold series that features quite a few novelties
A bit filthy and bizarre, somewhat reminiscent of Lynch/Cronenberg weirdness and I like it. It walks a remarkable line between strange humor (puking live kittens?) and gory violence. I also like the modern day approach to witches and witchcraft.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Brightburn
In superman fashion, a couple adopt a child that came falling from the sky. But what are his powers, how good is he?
Wittenberg
04-03-2020
I quite liked this
This worked remarkably well. It uses the superman foundation but takes it a whole new direction with tasteful suspense, some horror, some scifi and nice characters whilst still keeping it compact and intimate.Brothers Grimsby, The
Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way
Wittenberg
11-12-2016
Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough
Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.Cabin in the Woods
Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
Good idea with not much else going for it
Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.Caligula
Caligula kills the emperor to take his place, and descents into a life orgies, paranoia, delusions of grandeur and his demise
Wittenberg
07-08-2022
Something embarrasing you keep looking at
The change of static scenery's and unapologetic overacting makes it feel theatric. The many explicit sex scenes mostly come across as clumsy and awkward, as does the jumpy, idiotic and embarrassing behavior of Caligula. Yes, embarrassing was my main sensation, but I have to admit I was intrigued tooCall, The
Woman gets a call from a woman living in the past. Friends at first, they end up hunting each other in different times
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
A well executed idea
A great idea that is played out interestingly and excitingly without overdoing it. Some horror, some thriller and smart tricks with time. I couldn't ask for more.Call-Up, The
Some gamers are invited to play a game in a lifesize simulated environment. It's all fun and games, until people actually die.
Wittenberg
07-01-2018
No twist?
I liked how it was all set up and some of the music in the beginning. But soon enough it is evident that the actors or screenplay are below par. But what bugged me the most is that they missed the opportunity to add some double layers and twists into the story, of which I can easily think of some.Calvaire
A man seek shelter at a French auberge, which turns horrific when the owner strats to claim him as if he were someone else.
Wittenberg
20-07-2023
Nasty, but not in a good way
There's potential here for quiet a nasty, slowly consuming horror/thriller - you might even say it is one. But for me personally, I found the protagonist too stiff, everything a bit filthy and weird so it was hard to feel involved or empathize about it.Camera Obscura
Predictive murders show up on a depressed man's vintage camera. How far will he go to prevent them?
Wittenberg
21-01-2018
Good idea delivered somewhat plainly
It's got a great story and almost reels in that 'low budget doesn't matter when you have good ideas and actors' vibe. But I found it lacking that extra touch and sharpness. It ends up somewhat tame and slow. Some of the horrific scenes somehow left me cold.Camp X-Ray
Newbie MP soldier get stationed at Guantanamo, where she bonds with one of the detainees
Wittenberg
05-03-2016
Honest little gem
A sober yet rewarding experience, with an awesome looking and playing Stewart and very good music backing it up. I sort of missed a beat in the transition of Lector turning into a genuine nice guy, but that's ok.Campaign, The
Cocky congressman suddenly faces competition from an unlikely candidate in the elections
Wittenberg
30-03-2014
Nice, but could have used a smarter story
Funny and witty spoof of contemporary politics, that's probably not far from the truth either. Slightly let down by a simplistic and predictable story.Candyman
Artist gets fascinated by the urban legend of the lethal Candyman, who can be summoned in front of a mirror
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
A classy horror
A higher tier horror, which proves painfully clear how many others are just brainless scarejump pulp. This is more more interesting, well done and well told throughout. I do feel though that some scenes could and should have been more hair-raising.Capsule
Astronaut depens heavily on radiohelp from earth to get his faulty capsule to return home
Wittenberg
06-11-2016
A lot more was required to make it this bold idea work
A bold mov(i)e which almost exclusively shows the astronaut strapped in his seat. But the amateuristic, jumpy astronaut, the repetitious dialogues and unconvincing procedures are way insufficient to make it work. There's a twist at the end, but if you made it that far you'll probably no longer care.Captain America: Civil War
All superhero's turn on each other for some reason
Wittenberg
11-11-2016
More boring and emotionless over the top stuff
In endless talking scenes, which made my son decide to watch something else, all sorts of story-lines from other movies are desperately and uninterestingly brought together. The battles are frantic but boring because noone ever gets hurt. And I still don't care about anyone.Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Hydra has infiltrated the safety of SHIELD, and there's a new enemy as well
Wittenberg
23-08-2014
A really mixed bag
It's more mature, confident and less hysteric than most superhero movies, due to restrained superpowers and lots of attention to the story. But, all characters are flat and unlikable, and the brawls are a bit tedious. This quality popcorn amusement feels like it could have been more than that.Captain Harlock: Space Pirate
In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
Just enjoy the pretty graphics
Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.Captain Marvel
A woman with superpowers and generic green aliens and avengers and tessaracts and whfff
Wittenberg
27-09-2020
I felt nothing
A cheerful, colorful, slick looking action superhero movie that went straight through me.Captain Philips
An American cargo ship gets hijacked by Somali pirates (Arrr matey!)
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
Nailbiting, sweaty and genuine experience
Maybe it is a tad too long, but for sure this is a compelling, griping and intense experience.RockmeNow
01-02-2014
Boats, pirates and a psychological battle between two captains
Highly recommended movie, at first glance simply about the hijacking of a cargo ship. But it also conveys a deeper message by implying the complex situation in many African countries, where the difference between right and wrong is not always that clear. Authentic acting by Tom Hanks.Captain Underpants
When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
Ok, but a bit timid
Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).Captive State
An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
Average
Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.Carnage
Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
Great idea didn't work
A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.Carrie (2013)
Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
Identical yet inferior to the original
Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.Cars 2
McQueen and Mater get caught up up in a spionage and racing adventure.
Wittenberg
27-07-2013
Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something
Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.Casablanca
World war II, boy meets girl (again), Germans doing their bad-ass stuff, self-sacrifice and true love
RockmeNow
07-12-2013
Perfect movie for a sentimental mood
Obviously this movie is a classic according to 95% of the world population, but until today I never seemed to be in the right mood to actually start watching it. The first minutes it felt somewhat dated, but soon I was fully drawn into the story. Overall an immersive experience, a classic indeed!Cashback
Chronically unable to sleep after a breakup, a guy decides to use this new time to work in a supermarket, where he discovers he posesses time alteration abilities
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
Nice, but not all the way
A very charming, sympathetic and occasionally very sexy movie. The atmosphere of these teenagers plowing through the night is neat. Unfortunately, it can't maintain the magic all the way through, and even deteriorates some of it with dissonant elements like the soccermatch and kung-fu kid.Casshern
In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it
With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.Catwoman
Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
Maybe girls like it
The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.Causeway
Female Afghanistan veteran with bad head trauma is trying to pick up live and make a new friend
Wittenberg
08-01-2023
Impressively acted drama
A small, uncomplicated story that works because of slew of actors at the top of their game and an intimate, delicate atmosphere. It never becomes over-dramatic and it dares to be quite and just let the silence, expressions and stares speak for themselves.Cellar, The
Family buys old house with an evil attic. I mean cellar.
Wittenberg
21-08-2022
A museum of horror cliches
There were some ideas that could potentially make this horror stand on it's own feet, and a handful of moments I liked. But for the vast majority of time this is smothered and glued together by a plethora of horrormovie cliches, as if they were checking them on a mandatory list.Chappie
Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
Nice robot, crappy story
Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...Wittenberg
17-03-2015
A bitter sweet 7
As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
I thought it'd be warmer
The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.Chernobyl
A pretty accurate miniseries about the nuclear catastrophy
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
Seriously good
Grim and sober, never succumbing to cheap thrills or green glow. Featuring strong acting and fanatic attention to historically accurate details. Apparently it still is not always exactly what went down, but the fact that it made me read up about this accident is a compliment in itself.Child of God
A senile outcast, forced to live in the woods, discovers a sinister way to ease his sexual cravings
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
Disturbing. Good.
An uncomfortable, disturbing, taboo shattering movie that nevertheless remains gripping and within tolerance levels. It even manages to evoke some level of empathy for the outcast.Choose or Die
Girl gets caught up in a mysterious vintage game that makes people make horrible choices
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Some entertainment, but not great
For a horror it doesn't really scare much, and overall execution is a little underwhelming. The way the game interacts with the real world seems inconsistent and not very well thought out. But well, there are some new ideas and it does provide some basic amusement value.Chosen
Girl in a sleepy Danish town meets people who investigate the truth behind a comet that landed ther a long time ago
Wittenberg
24-05-2023
A sweet mystery
You tend to get this Goonie's adventure vibe when youngsters go on a secret mission, and here we get Danish serenity on top of it. It's a sweet mystery, even if things can get quite unlikely at times, and the main character is not very likable. That space costume looked 70 years too late.Chronicle
Found footage of teenagers developing superpowers
Wittenberg
19-02-2013
Unique approach to what superpowers would be like
Real people with some superpowers are more exciting than superpeople with massive superpowers. Nice effects too.Cidade InvisÃvel
After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
A bit plain
The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.Civil War
Journalists on a roadtrip to try and reach their destination in the midst of an American civil war
Wittenberg
24-06-2024
High tension war drama but finding the message may be difficult
The neutral viewpoint of the journalists, and no explanation who is fighting who and why, is a smart move to make this about fear and war, not choosing sides. There is constant tension in the air. The downside of it that I am not really sure what the movie is trying to say.Clara
Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant
Wittenberg
30-07-2019
An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda
The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.Climax
Party with dancers goes haywire when all of them appear to be drugged by something causing really bad trips
Wittenberg
22-03-2022
Masochism
All the dancing in the beginning was almost too much for me, but slowly the Gaspar Noé camerawork, shocks and nausea unfold, making this an intense and courageous 'experimental horror' indeed. I am beginning to think watching this kind of stuff could be a form of masochism.Closer to God
The aftermath of bringing the first cloned child into this world... or was it?
Wittenberg
16-06-2019
Uneasy in a good way
Has an effective, uneasy atmosphere, and the agonizing sensation of people trying to take care of a strange human in a room in the house, without really revealing what's in there. Could have had more impact with some more style and direction though, and booh for the misleading artwork.Cloverfield Paradox, The
A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.
An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?Cobweb
Boy with shit parents and no friends hears a voice coming from the walls, reaching out to him...
Wittenberg
20-09-2023
Something borrowed, something new
Although it uses some familiar ideas and scares, it also manages to have a story and atmosphere of it's own. Nothing spectaculair perhaps, but certainly a well rounded package and decent horror at that.Cocaine Bear
Various people in the woods have to deal with a bear addicted to cocaine
Wittenberg
16-04-2023
Cult is hard
It is going for a cult status with an over the top story, a bit of gore, humor and loads of colorful, quotable characters. But I found none of these components particularly successful, and the pacing seems off as frankly I got quite bored with it.Code 8
Man with electrical superpowers has no to choice but to use them for shady business so he can pay for his mother's medical bills
Wittenberg
01-08-2020
Solid but with some windowdressing
Overall this was quite solid and featured good acting and atmospherics. But ultimately the superpowers and cool airdrop-robots started to feel as window dressing, because they didn't really seem to matter for the development of the story, and a slightly underwhelming crime story was what remained.Coherence
Friends enjoy diner while a comet passes over... causing strange quantumlevel effects on them
Wittenberg
02-01-2016
I love quantumfucks
A really wonderful, mind boggling story that manages to suck you into the puzzle and leaves you in a somewhat unsettled but intrigued state of mind. Effective also because it is set up so plainly and is acted naturally.Colony, The
Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
Frozen B-movie
The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.Movies found: 1078 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 101 - 200
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