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Troll

A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
6.5

Only the monster is unique

Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.
6.5

Hellraiser 2022

A puzzlebox summons hellish bringers of torture and death

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
4

Yawning at cenobites

Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.
4

Speak No Evil

Danish couple visits Dutch friends they met on vacation. The weekend slowly becomes agonizing, then turns into something much worse.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
8

A tough watch, but the quality makes it a worthwile one

The feeling of ever growing discomfort really gets to you, and works well because of the natural acting and settings. It ends sad and depraved, but somehow feels like the right conclusion of the dread that had been accumulating.
8

Fall

Two girlfriends climb a huge radio tower to overcome trauma, but something goes wrong when they are way up there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2022
8

I forgot what movies can do to you

"These first 10 minutes were more exciting that the entire Starwars series we are watching," my wife remarked. And she was right. It may not be perfect or very realistic, but I can't remember a recent movie I shouted advice at, and which caused so much anxiety and sweaty hands.
8

Terrifier 2

Girl faces a a clown that slaughters people in the most brutal ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2022
7.5

A bold slaughterfest with eighties vibe

There's plenty of shock value, with executions that are bloody and painful the watch. They also managed to set up an eighties vibe by the colors used, and perhaps even the acting style. But I also felt is was a bit long and pointless.
7.5

Don't Worry Darling

A woman is living a perfect live in an isolated town, but she slowly discoveres something is off. Set in the 50's

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2022
7.5

An entertaining, mysterious puzzler with a dash of sciencefiction.

I love these "somethings-not-quite-right" movies, and this one certainly delivers. The energetic actors, color palette and lively fifties vibe add to the mix.
7.5

The House that Jack Built

A serial killer collecting the bodies in a freezer, and also trying to build a house

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2022
8

A shocker with depth

Jack's methods are not slick, but somewhat insecure and clumsy, which only adds to a the morbid sensation of watching going about his work and dragging around corpses. His constant dialogues with his conscience (?) and the peculiar use of stock footage elevates this movie from just being a shocker.
8

Contracted

After a onenightstand, a woman's body starts decaying rapidly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
7

A decent little shocker

Overall, the woman's decay is shocking enough and wasn't overdone. Her struggle with it, and the oddly apathetic reaction of the people around her, adds to feeling of isolation and helplessness. The story is a little straightforward though, hardly going anywhere.
7

The Lost City

Author of classic adventure romans novels suddenly get involved in a real, treasure-finding adventure - with her cocktaildress still on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
6.5

Good fun, but not great

The combination of slapstick humor and classic Indy mystery and adventures still works for me. But the movie seems self aware of it's simple goals, making it a bit lazy. The jokes are a bit insecure and over the top, the adventure a bit anti climactic, the romance not really tangible.
6.5

Im Westen Nichts Neues

Follows a few young German boys into the first worldwar trench hell against France

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2022
8

An impressive and heavy warflick that ought to have hit harder

A film that impressive in many ways: The raw depiction of war, the insanity of trench wars in particular and the cinematography. But somehow it didn't fully manage to transfer the deep sense of fear or dread like some other war movie have. Perhaps I didn't really bond with the characters.
8

Monstrous

Woman and her son want to leave the past behind in a new house near a pond... but something lurks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2022
7

Great reveal and vibe, but somehow didn't quite nail it

The reveal at the end, and some pondering on my part, made me realize this is actually a pretty clever movie. But the bubbly 50's colors and cartoonish acting of the mother, while creating a unique atmosphere, sort of diminished the scares - which were already a bit cliched.
7

Wolf Hound

Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
4

Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown

This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.
4

The Girl Next Door

The (sadly true) story of a girl under custody of an evil aunt, who tortures her to death in a basement, with many of the local kids joining in

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
7.5

A painful story that needs to be told

This harrowing story is hard to watch, is made well and made me read into the backstory for sure. It feels inappropriate to even criticize it, but somehow it looses a few points because it really felt and experienced like a movie adaptation, creating some distance/shielding from the true horror.
7.5

Echoes

A woman goes back to her hometown when her identical twin sister is missing, and then a lot of twin things happen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-10-2022
5

A good idea implemented rather plainly

To have a crime and mystery revolve around twin sisters, making you guessing who is who and who did what, is not a bad idea. But it is done rather unimaginatively, making me indifferent instead of intrigued, and is based on rather soapy themes like family feuds, relationships and horses.
5

Shin Godzilla

A bureaucratic Japanase governance is trying to stop a monster from walking over it's cities and reaching Tokyo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-10-2022
7.5

A reboot done well, good stuff for the fans

Clearly made with much love and respect for the original, with no Americanism in sight. Effects strike a balance between the original feel of the movies and modern techniques, without drowning in CGI coldness. The bureaucratic struggle to get anything done in time was a nice framework.
7.5

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

After his mother dies, a boy has nothing left to loose, installs a bionic component and joins some some cyberpunks to get even

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-10-2022
8

Restored my faith in anime

Just when I thought anime was just not for me, along comes this gorgeously drawn, well acted, cool, brutal and absolutely kick ass anime. It's use of music is also quite fresh.
8

Yakamoz S-245

A group of marine scientists escapes global extinction due to a solarburst, and have to work together with the crew of a military sub to find a new home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2022
6

Loaded with problems, but there's something in there

This series was packed with a lot of problems: one dimensional characters, stalling forever, bizarre behavior and dialogues, and weird decisions throughout - to name but a few. But somehow, the fab color pallet, the music, some scenes and the interesting premise manage to keep it afloat.
6

Kairo (Pulse)

Ghosts appear, related to loneliness and the early internet - in ways I did not understand

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-10-2022
7.5

Great mystery with some impressive ghost discomfort

The creepy ghosts and their interaction with of darkness and shadows is impressive, perhaps a masterclass in fear and discomfort in film. I didn't mind the unexplained, open ended nature of the story either, but the characters doing seemingly random 'stuff' was a bit off-putting.
7.5

Hatching

A girl, under constant pressure of her pushy mother, finds an abonded crow egg and decides to brood it herself. Something odd comes out.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-09-2022
7.5

Absurd and dark fairytale

Not withstanding some pretty dark themes and scenery, it felt more than a modern, sinister fairy-tale than a true horror - which is quite fine! I think it could have been more intense here and there, acting was a occasionally a bit stiff, but overall a fine and pleasantly absurd tale.
7.5

Valhalla Rising

A mysterious, mute and invincible viking warrior is reluctantly asked to join other vikings in search of the promised land

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-09-2022
7.5

Somber viking tale

This somber, raw and quiet movie, only occasionally augmented by bearded vikings mumbling a few words, is quite a slow burner but is intense nonetheless. It worked for about 3 quarters in, after which I started longing for some action or plot development. Still, a nice change of pace.
7.5

The Lodge

Two children wind up alone in an isolated lodge with the mysterious, former-cultmember new girlfriend of their father

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-09-2022
7.5

A very decent if not somewhat inplausible mystery/horror

When I thought about this movie afterwards, I started feeling the story was rather far fetched in places, but this didn't bother when I watched it. Instead, I rather enjoyed the ominous mood, the tasteful reli-creepiness and the cold scenery.
7.5

The Innocents

Girl and autistic sister find new friends when they move to a new appartment, with whom they develop by paranormal abilities and games, but not all in a good way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2022
7.5

Intriguing childrens' horror

The semi-relaxed atmosphere, mysterious but never sensationalist, together with telling the story mostly form the perspective of the children, makes this a a slow but unique and satisfying watch. I was bit puzzled what drove the evil one, though.
7.5

The Book of Boba Fett

Boba is now a mayor

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
4

As if the plot wasn't bad enough

I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.
4

Project Gemini

Spaceship sets out to find a solution for a dying earth, but winds up in an uknown location in space. Where evil lurks.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
3.5

Not a catastrophy, but pretty bad

A very vague, sleep-inducing, poorly written scifi with some abhorrent dialogue made worse by the poor voice overs I got with it. At the very end there are some relatively interesting, slightly rewarding plot points, and I give an extra point for some fancy CGI/space scenes.
3.5

Jurassic World: Dominion

People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
4

Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs

It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.
4

You Are Not My Mother

Girl is struggling with the mysterious behaviour of her mother, and discovers the dark secrets of her family

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
7

slow but effective

It is pushing the limits of slow burning, and perhaps lacks some focus in the story. But I remained on board the entire time, because I certainly was curious, it is intriguingly uncanny and I really liked the acting of the lead.
7

Glorious

Broken man takes a stop during a car trip, but gets locked in the restroom with a god occupying one of the stalls

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-08-2022
7

Refreshingly mad

While it may have some trouble keeping the simple setup engaging the whole time, I did find that this is a wonderfully crazy and refreshing flick. It has a nice dash of horror and scifi elements, but is mostly suitable for those seeking something absurd and trippy.
7

Memoria

Woman occasionally hears a sound that noone else does, and sort of wanders about trying to figure it out

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2022
8

Not suitable for jitterbugs, quite magical for the rest of us

This will put you to the test, as it consist entirely of static shots that take an eternity and in which very little appears to happen. It may be a bit arrogant and pretentious (and boring?) at times, but the setup also constitutes a serene, mysterious and hypnotic atmosphere that is very special.
8

Nope

When a horse ranch family finds a otherworldy presence is lurking in the skies above them, they set out to capture it on film and get rich

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2022
7.5

somewhat odd and different but very tasty

The main thing going through my mind was how slightly odd and different this is. The characters, the story, the humor, the flow, it's all a bit odd, but in a refreshingly blunt way. It provides plenty to ponder on, and contains some of the most interesting and well done UFO scenes I know.
7.5

The Cellar

Family buys old house with an evil attic. I mean cellar.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2022
5

A museum of horror cliches

There were some ideas that could potentially make this horror stand on it's own feet, and a handful of moments I liked. But for the vast majority of time this is smothered and glued together by a plethora of horrormovie cliches, as if they were checking them on a mandatory list.
5

Mad God

stop-animation about a figure descending deeper and deeper into a bizarre, dark world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2022
8

A bad trip that comes highly recommended

Would this be better if I understood what was going on? Probably not - better to be engulfed by the mesmerizing, dark, beautiful, sinister and imaginative trip that this is. It can be hard though to keep focus with no story to focus on, and I thought better music would have lifted it more.
8

We Need to Talk About Kevin

A mother trying to cope with a son that hates her, and something horrific he is planning

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2022
8

A bitter pill that is worth it

The helplessness, frustration and despair of the situation really gets to you. The way the movie gradually builds up to dreadful act of the kid, foreshadowed with flashbacks, his vague preparations and the look in his eyes is not pleasant, but most certainly very well done and well acted by all.
8

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
6

A rather tired bulge of more Starwars

It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.
6

Caligula

Caligula kills the emperor to take his place, and descents into a life orgies, paranoia, delusions of grandeur and his demise

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2022
7

Something embarrasing you keep looking at

The change of static scenery's and unapologetic overacting makes it feel theatric. The many explicit sex scenes mostly come across as clumsy and awkward, as does the jumpy, idiotic and embarrassing behavior of Caligula. Yes, embarrassing was my main sensation, but I have to admit I was intrigued too
7

Prey (2022)

A Commanche girl isn't taken seriously as a hunter, but it is up to her to take on a new kind of alien menace (Spoiler: a predator)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2022
7.5

I mostly agree with the ecstatic reception it got

The native American setting makes it fresh, performances and action are pretty neat, and they wisely kept it simple and pure. But I did think it it was a bit predictable, and the overall tension was good but not exhilarating as might have been. I was sitting upright, but not on the edge of my seat.
7.5

Manifest

A plane disappears and reappears, to find that the world has progressed five years and the passengers have not

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2022
4.5

Afwul soap barely kept afloat by a vaguely interesting story

The mysterious event was enticing enough to drag me through the first season, but barely so. The problem is the incredibly soapy style of the actors, cinematography and pacing. Cheesy perfect persons constantly walking into the scene at the right moment to seamlessly join the conversation. Ugh.
4.5

Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe

They get mistaken for drilling talents are sent into space, causing havoc across space and it's dimensions

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2022
7

If you needed more of it, then this delivers

I for one missed these guys, and this movie simply delivers a generous portion of everything you love and hate about them, wrapped in a story that's reasonably fresh without ever drifting away from the essence.
7

Dark Cloud

Traumatized girl gets experimental therapy by being secluded in a house run by an artificial intelligence

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2022
5

Too tedious and uneventful

The story is familiar, but one that always seems open for a new interpretation, and it's a story that can work just fine with limited budget like this movie. Unfortunate, this one failed. It is mostly tedious, slow and uneventful, and lacks the philosophical or technological wit to make it deep.
5

The Sadness

Boy tries to find his grilfriend, as the town is overun by a virus that turns people into violent, sadistic, sex-hungry zombies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2022
7.5

A painful but highly amusing take on the zombie genre

The gore is quite shocking, but it is a welcome take on zombies (although technically I don't think they are dead?). It worked for me - I was amused, appalled and quite into it. The ending features slower, deeper contemplations instead of a bloody grand finale; courageous if not a bit anticlimactic.
7.5

Nekromantik

Couple has a fascination for collecting bodyparts, but when he brings an entire corps to have sex with, it puts their relationship to the test

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-07-2022
7

Unpleasant but enticing curiosity

It is made poorly and looks amateuristic, but the sight of someone licking the eye-socket of a decayed corpse still makes this have an impact way bigger than it's budget would have you believe. Vile and uncomfortable, but also unique, brave and an interesting niche product to have experienced. Once.
7

Incantation

A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
5.5

Too messy

There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.
5.5

Eden Lake

Couple goes to a lake to have a romantic time, but a gang of youngsters turn it into hell

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
7.5

Unpleasant weekend trip

Things really go south, and you really feel for the couple as it goes from spoiling to terrorizing and worse. Making the gang all kids makes it all very uncomfortable, as you want them to smash their heads against a rock but they sort of can't.
7.5

Men

A woman retreats to an English cottage to proces a violent and traumatic divorce, but the local strange men only bring more horror

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-07-2022
8

A well thought out and intriguing horror

The simple setup gradually unfolds a lot of depth, symbolism and metaphors without being pretentious. Uncanny without cheap tricks, with a spot-on atmosphere. The finale is spectacular too; no matter how bizarre it was, it somehow made sense.
8

Occupation Rainfall

On an alien invaded earth, humans and some alied aliens set out find a mysterious rainfall that can save humanity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-07-2022
4.5

Tiresome scifi bonanza

There's actually some okay stuff here and there: some effects, some scenes, some concepts, some designs. But it's just so bloated and hysteric, like they wanted to include everything they could think of and barf it onto you in an endless stream. Very tiresome.
4.5

The Dark and the Wicked

Brother and sister visit their parents as the father is on his deadbed, and their mother is overcome by a dark presence in the house

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
7.5

Refinened horror that mixes several discomforts but remains subtle

A refined, slow and uncomfortable movie that blends the horror with the dread of disease, the feeling of being unable to leave and helplessness. I thought it was really good watching it, but did notice it fading from my memory pretty fast afterwards - usually caused by a lack of standout moments.
7.5

Dead Space: Downfall

Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
6.5

A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else

Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.
6.5

Age of Tomorrow

An alien attack on earth, seen from the perspective the crew of a space mission and also from some firefighters on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-06-2022
3

Make sure you are drunk first

I bet that if you got drunk, and watch this with some friends, who are also drunk, you could fall into a state of endless uncontrolled laughter. Other than that, we are in Sharknado territory quality wise, but without it intentionally trying to be silly (I think).
3

Ju-on: White Ghost

When a family moves into a haunted house, the man is cursed to do the unthinkable onto his family and then himself

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-06-2022
7

Simple but effective

It is told in a somewhat plain and unimaginative way, and for the most part feels like a collage of mini story's leading to a jump-scare. But the pieces do come together, and the movie did work. It has a uncanny atmosphere without being hysteric about it, and the scares came through alright.
7

Crimes of the Future

In a painless future, a couple performs live operations as an artform and are asked to operate a very special case. He also has strange new organs growing inside of him, by the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2022
7

Appealing forbidden fruit, but did not fill me up

I dig this strange word, including the body horror and filth, simply as break from the mainstream. But I did not find it really engaging. Perhaps because we are simply thrown into the weirdness without a narrative, but more importantly the characters themselves seemed apathetic about it too.
7

The Hallow

A couple movies to a secluded house in Ireland for forest research, but awaken the stuff from local folklore lurking in the woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-06-2022
7

A fine horror that manages to set itself apart

Although it does not offer anything radically new - but which horror does - the intimate atmosphere, the genuine characters and a tendency towards true tension over cheap jump scares (of which there are some), make it a worthwhile little horror. But geez, go easy on the cute baby sounds.
7

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