BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

Lifeforce

Space mission takes samples from inside a mysterious space derelict, but brings home terror doing so. Space vampires, no less!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019

Entertaining mix of nonsense

Back from when actors were ugly and sweaty, and people were interrogated by slapping them in the face, comes this remarkable mix of scifi, horror, zombie-outbreak and soft erotica. And it's remarkably entertaining at that.
7

Captive State

An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2019

Average

Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.
6

Clara

Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-07-2019

An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda

The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.
6.5

The Golem

A woman tries to defend a secluded Jewish community by summoning a creature from the soil

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-07-2019

Great setting, but second half is too directionless

It lays down a really good mood with the sober, deeply religious and ritualized community. But it feels like they forgot to think through what would happen once the Golem is there, so it starts to feel loose and deflates. The music, while good, was too eager and didn't really fit well.
6

The Favourite

Maid elbows her way into the personal circle of the queen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-07-2019

Quite unique

I tried this because it was hyped as the costume movie that, because of the vile play and firework between the female rivals, was also suitable for men. And indeed, I did enjoy the acting, the beautiful decors and camerawork people making their way through the castle. It has quite a unique vibe.
7.5

Closer to God

The aftermath of bringing the first cloned child into this world... or was it?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-06-2019

Uneasy in a good way

Has an effective, uneasy atmosphere, and the agonizing sensation of people trying to take care of a strange human in a room in the house, without really revealing what's in there. Could have had more impact with some more style and direction though, and booh for the misleading artwork.
7

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

More huge titan monsters are awoken, and only Godzilla can restore the balance

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-06-2019

Humans ruined earth AND this movie

Ruined by hollow, cringy and unfunny characters that speak exclusively in kitsch onelines and are monster experts, submarine commanders and anything else that comes their way. The monsters can't save it either, because, while fairly good looking, their fights are hard to follow and uninteresting.
5

I Am Mother

In a secluded facility, a robot raises a little girl as a first in a repopulation program for a toxic earth, but then the girl let's in an unexpected visitor.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-06-2019

Decent

A decent looking and interesting story with plot twists that, while not completely unexpected, keep things interesting. After a while it started to drag a bit, and I found the visitor so unpleasant and annoying that, instead of sympathizing with her, I wished mother would have gotten rid her.
7

Adrift

Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019

Ruined by constant flashbacks

For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.
6.5

Perfect Blue

Pop idol band girl switches to acting, which quickly turns dark and strange

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019

Great change of tone

With it's minimal animation, stiff voiceovers and Japanese girlpop power vibe, it took me some effort to get into this. But this beautifully contrasts with the dark and vile direction it takes on later, and then, when it starts to mess with time and your head as well, the effort had been worth it!
7.5

The Karate Kid

After moving to California with his mother, a boy gets beaten up regularly.. until it the local handyman teaches him karate

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019

Still stands like a crane

It may be a bit slow by today's standards, but this masterfully serves to let us grow attached to the wonderful lead characters, get involved in the story and training and then, after all those years, still have goosebumps during the finale.
8

Overlord

A ww2 squad lands into German-occupied France to blow up a tower, but encounter dark occult nazi experiments on their way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2019

Meaty mix

A mixture of war, action and horror, delivering a meaty and enjoyable watch. It is, however, not super exciting nor super scary, and it is let down by some cliches and annoying characters, especially that damn kid.
7

Suspiria (2018)

Talented ballet dancer is accepted in a mysterious danceschool, were something occult is going on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019

Uneasy

While not as deeply disturbing as the of hype would make you believe, it was uneasy for sure. I liked it; photography was beautiful, and the slow tension and mystery keeps you hooked. But at the same time, I was slightly disappointed for not requiring therapy afterwards.
7.5

Tremors

Texas country folk dealing with massive worm-like creatures attacking their tiny town

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019

Cheesy at it's best

Even when it was made, it already was silly, cheesy and ridiculous as can be. But it also managed to be an irresistible and charming combination of fun and dumb action that make it a classic. Every time I stumble upon it, I just cannot switch it of.
7.5

What Happened to Monday?

In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2019

Gimmicky

While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.
6.5

The Wandering Earth

Earth is equiped with huge thrusters to fly it to a new habitable galaxy, but the journey knows many dangers

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2019

The Chinese are starting to copy the wrong things

I can appreciate huge production values as well as the story, but the execution is chaotic, at times incomprehensible and sadly felt like the Chinese are now emulating the wrong Hollywood kitsch and cliches. It felt like a Chinese Armageddon clone.
6

The Silence

When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2019

Does what it needs to, but not much more

It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.
6.5

Don't Leave Home

Artist inspired by cases of vanishing children is one day invited to the home of a priest who's painings make people dissapear

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-04-2019

Effective and subtle

There's something small and simple about this oddly titled horror, which makes it subtle, intimate and quite intriguing. There's not much standard horror mayhem, but rather a sense of discomfort and mystery. Quiet nicely done, I must say,
7.5

Drone

Familyman secretly serves as a contractor flying execution missions with drones, but he's not as save as he thinks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-04-2019

Yes, it is leading somewhere

For while I thought this movie was compensating a lack of substance with long scenes, slow montage and drifting off from the source material. But slowly the realization of what's going on is creeping in, climaxing in the agonizing dinner scene. Not what I thought it would be, but quite decent.
7

Isn't it Romantic

no-life woman bumbs her head and wakes up in a Romatic Comedy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2019

I just wish it was nastier

It's a great idea that will yield a few laughs. But ironically, it's not really funnier than the movies it is making fun of, and even comes up with the very moral lesson I thought it was revolting against.
7

The Osiris Child

Pilot must save his daughter from a planet overrun by vicious beasts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2019

Bits and pieces

At times this has some pretty graphics, some decent acting and some passable action scenes. But if also features some annoying characters to ruin things, and as a whole felt a bit directionless, and empty.
6.5

Hunter Killer

American submarine is sent to rescue the Russian president... without starting a world war

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2019

Decent macho stuff

It tries a little too hard to be macho and has everyone talking in super tough guy one liners... all at the expense of realism and true tension. But what's left is still an entertaining, action-packed submarine movie for us to jerk off to the glorious American military.
7

Us

A family is assaulted in their vacation home by... themselves?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-03-2019

An interesting horror that is adequately scary

An original, gripping and quite tense horror movie that had me talking and pondering long after it was finished... which is a good thing that I find increasingly rare. I just thought that it felt short on being truly scary or under the skin, the way I thought it would be.
7.5

Nightflyers

The crew on a spaceship, on it's way to make contact with alien lifeforms, finds itself in more and more peril as they come closer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2019

These poor series still contain enough mystery to make it worthwhile

So for this monumentally important mission, they assembled the most insecure, insubordinate, fashion-conscious and unstable crew they could find and make them improvise the entire mission in an insanely incoherent way. But apparently I love space mystery so much that I still watched it. All of it.
5

Peppermint

When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2019

Exchanging the sexes isn't enough

This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.
6.5

Euphoria

A woman dying of cancer takes her sister to a secluded place where people with a similar fate come to spend their last days

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2019

Good not great

It doesn't over-dwell in the misery, and the broken relationship between the two added an effective layer to it. But I thought acting was good but not great, and wondered if it could have been a more profound experience.
7

Alita: Battle Angel

Man rebuilts a cyborg he found in a trashpile. A very special cyborg it turns out...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2019

Great

Fearing a hysteric and flat CGI bonanza, I was pleasantly surprised. We actually get to like the characters, it's exciting and original. It has a nice big-amazing-adventure vibe that I haven't felt for while. But yes, it does feature awesome, bright daylight CGI in every scene.
8

Let Her Out

Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2019

Doesn't do itself justice

The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.
6

Godzilla: The Planet Eater

As mankind was unable to get rid of Godzilla, they summon something godlike to do so

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-02-2019

There's something about it

I can't get my head around this one. It is a bit weird, slow, they talk too much and I am not even sure that much happened in this episode. But once it is over, I felt like I had witnessed something deep and profound. The atmosphere in these animated series is just so.. unworldly.
7

Ready Player One

In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019

Childish and patronizing in a way

I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?
6

UFO

Talented math student gets obsessed with a brief UFO sighting. Not only to find out about their intentions, but also the coverup surrounding it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019

Intriguing little UFO tale

I was sort of waiting for a movie like this. Make the UFO secondary, and focus on what it does to people. This one sort of does that, and I was quite amused by it and liked the central role of mathematics. It can feel a bit low budget at times, but overall: yeh, a smart and nice surprise.
7

Tombraider

Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2019

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good

It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.
6.5

The Babadook

Widow is trying to get by with her needy son when she also releases a shadowy presence in her house by reading a strange childrens book

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2019

Succesful on multiple levels

Even more than the restrained and tasteful horror story, I was impressed by the suffocating and agonizing experience of watching her slide into insanity, due to sleep deprivation, desperation and social seclusion. It's sad, original, scary and intense. Bravo.
8

Skyscraper

Man is going to save his family from the highest skycraper in the word. On fire. With one leg. With crooks inside.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019

The fun to be had!

No doubt we could make a long list of things that are dumb or preposterous about this movie. But I thought they nailed that lovely vibe of action-disaster movies of yesteryear, and I honestly can't think of a recent movie that made me enjoy myself and sit on the edge of my seat like this one!
7.5

Curvature

A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019

Too flawed to make the story come alive

I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.
6

Trench 11

Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2019

A bit underwhelming

The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.
6

Atomic Blonde

Sexy superspy (with blond hair) is send to pre-wall Germany to recover a list of great importance

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-01-2019

An over the top spy story with a cool sauce

With 80s music and a Berlin-wall zeitgeist, this movie has really cool atmosphere. I must also mention the extraordinary single-shot fighting scene (alas with not so convincing fighting). However, the typical, over complex, spy nonsense and her infinite skills and grasp were too much for me.
7

IO

Woman is trying to find cures for a dying world, but an uninvited stranger urges her to join him and catch the last rescue ship into space

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-01-2019

Sympathetic but very boring

I really tried to get into the flow of this slow-burn movie, as a small, delicate an intimate story about big issues. But boring is boring, and the quasi-meaningful dialogue and cascade of pointless scenes made me yell COME ON too many times.
4.5

The Predator

The predators are coming back to earth. The good, the bad and the loony try to deal with it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2019

Too much over the top nonsense stuff, taking away the magic

It was good to hear the predator music again, but not the rather cringe worthy lines delivered by the cliched and over the top characters in this movie. How did the biologist turn into a skilled commando instantly? The spacedogs - I don't know... just too many things not quite right in here.
6.5

The Poughkeepsie Tapes

Various involved people talk you through the horrible contents of the videotapes of a sadistic serial killer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-01-2019

Nicely set up, but what for?

The fact that I looked up whether this was based on a true story means it was somewhat convincing and it definitely has it's moments, but overall it felt mostly like torture porn of the kind that makes you wonder why you are watching it. But perhaps that's always the case with torture porn.
6.5

Avengers: Infinity War

All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019

What a mash

In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.
6.5

Alien Predator

Team of soldiers sets out to investigate what happenend to another team of soldiers who investigated a mysterious crash landing

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019

Not frosty

All this is are shaky shots of soldiers making their way through the jungle, delivering an (often bizarre) stream of military speak and cliches as they go along. Stay frosty! Some of the make-up effects are the only thing of any quality.
2.5

Pacific Rim: Uprising

The monsters have been defeated, but not for long

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2019

Do you like robot fights?

Listen, I just came here for giant robots smashing huge monsters, and got what I wanted. Never mind that every person in this movie is a ridiculous Hollywood abomination and everything they say and do is stupid as can be, making this essentially a horrible Power Rangers movie with no soul.
5

The Accountant

Autistic man has a special talent for accounting, and appearantly for some darker activities as well

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2019

Too far-fetched

This didn't really connect with me. The story is way too far-fetched, made-up and over the top to be taken seriously, and it dwells in the tiresome notion that autistic people must have superpowers.
6

Bird Box

Woman tries to bring two kids to a save haven in a world overrun by a suicide pandamonium

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2019

Original and exhilarating

My goodness: a highly original (not withstanding the similar 'The Happening'), strongly acted and nail-biting movie that is very well put together. Those are not easy to come by these days. It once again shows the strength of NOT showing or explaining everything and anything.
8

Logan

Wolferine is old and tired, rather be driving around for Uber than protecting this mysterious girl that crosses his path

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018

Intense and different, but not necessarily likable

I can appreciate the grime atmosphere and action instead of the ridiculous and hollow bubbly colors of most superhero movies. But is does mean that there is hardly anyone to like in this movie, nor is Charles as a needy and deteriorating man any fun to watch.
7

Johnny English Strikes Again

A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018

Funny but lazy

I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.
6

The Equalizer 2

The equalizer corrects injustice, but this time it is getting close to his personal circle

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018

smooth

There is something very classy about this movie, with nice actors and a pleasant, self-confident pace that make it a silky smooth ride. I did think the 'Stay in school' mentor-ship of a black dude was rather cliched and obligate, but in the end in did suit the story.
7.5

The Holly Kane Experiment

Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018

You don't fool me

This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?
4

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018

I thought it'd be warmer

The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.
6

Movies found: 590 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 51 - 100

Previous Next