BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Saw X
When fraudulent people take advantage of the SAW mastermind's cancer, he subjects them to his sinister traps
Wittenberg
23-02-2024
Stupid movie that pushed the wrong buttons with me
Were the victims in the previous parts also bad humans, getting what they deserved? I can't remember, but I found it far fetched and dumb. I reached a state of irritation, meaning I also found all these traps ridiculous. I mean how much time would each cost to even set up correctly? I'm out.Gods of Egypt
Exhiled Horus gets a change to reclaim his crown with the aid of a mortal thief
Wittenberg
04-10-2016
Nice demo
Looks and feels like a computergame. Come to think of it, games nowadays have more interesting en deep characters than this painfully boring, flat and hollow production. It's always an embarrassing experience when so much is going on and you don't care about any of it.Geostorm
Mankind built a space system to keep the extreme climate in control, but then it starts to make things worse instead of better
Wittenberg
23-02-2018
All things wrong with big Hollywood productions
A terrible film that checks all the boxes of overblown Hollywood-Michael-Bay like hysteria, stupidity and shallowness.Call-Up, The
Some gamers are invited to play a game in a lifesize simulated environment. It's all fun and games, until people actually die.
Wittenberg
07-01-2018
No twist?
I liked how it was all set up and some of the music in the beginning. But soon enough it is evident that the actors or screenplay are below par. But what bugged me the most is that they missed the opportunity to add some double layers and twists into the story, of which I can easily think of some.Ahsoka
Ahsoka and apprentice must stop evil warlord from returning from exhile
Wittenberg
08-10-2023
Pretty bad
I liked some of the spaceships, and some characters I like too. But unfortunately, the main characters, Ahsoka (with her unbearable smirk) and Sabine (look at me I am a rebel), were unbearable. Also, poor combat, poor plotline, slow pacing, and even more useless stormtroopers abound.IO
Woman is trying to find cures for a dying world, but an uninvited stranger urges her to join him and catch the last rescue ship into space
Wittenberg
19-01-2019
Sympathetic but very boring
I really tried to get into the flow of this slow-burn movie, as a small, delicate an intimate story about big issues. But boring is boring, and the quasi-meaningful dialogue and cascade of pointless scenes made me yell COME ON too many times.Occupation Rainfall
On an alien invaded earth, humans and some alied aliens set out find a mysterious rainfall that can save humanity
Wittenberg
03-07-2022
Tiresome scifi bonanza
There's actually some okay stuff here and there: some effects, some scenes, some concepts, some designs. But it's just so bloated and hysteric, like they wanted to include everything they could think of and barf it onto you in an endless stream. Very tiresome.Black Demon, The
A family vacation winds up on a decommissioned oilrig with a huge shark patroling the waters
Wittenberg
01-01-2024
Lacklustre, even for a a shark movie
For some reason big shark movies get a pass for not being of much quality, but even so this one is a bit problematic. There was a lack of inspiration to do actual sharks scenes, so there's a lot of chatty fillers about the environment and vague folklore. Some subplots even seemed abandoned.Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, The
The paranormal detectives try to trace the orgins of a boy's evil curse, apperantly to use as defense in a court case
Wittenberg
11-07-2023
A lacklustre horror/thriller/detective story
While it may be original, I did not find the detective/court story very appealing. A bigger problem is that it doesn't really get scary or under your skin. It's a bit nasty and loud, and left me way more indifferent than a horror movie ought to.Orphan: First Kill
The woman who looks like a child infiltrates the first home to go for the kill
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
Pointless and boring prequel
Many people were impressed bu apparent plot twist, but I was very bored with this empty shell, and found the acting was quite problematic. Adults acting like children is always so over the top, like they act like a caricature of a generic child. Weird and cringy.Cryo
People wake up - prematurely? - from their cryo tubes and need to find out who's who and what's happening
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
Nice story. Now what we need is a good script.
The premise, including the twist at the end, is decent enough. It's just so dull, long and low budget that I was struggling to stay awake.Away
Mum goes to Mars. Away from her family.
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Soggy family drama with occasional space things
Don't get tricked into thinking this is a scifi adventure. This is a soap opera, featuring an insanely uncooperative and unprofessional crew, bitching and moaning and solving tedious problems like the water supply and the flue. Back on earth, there is slow nagging family drama and diseases. Ugh!Riddick
After being left for dead on a hostile planet, a ship full of mercenaries is Riddicks's only way off the planet
Wittenberg
15-02-2014
A B-movie in disguise
Non-stop pretty, but also painfully slow, tedious and full of uninspired really poor dialogue. They are too eager to portray Riddick as a mysterious, ubercool, enigmatic hero, instead turning him into an unsympathetic showoff.Manifest
A plane disappears and reappears, to find that the world has progressed five years and the passengers have not
Wittenberg
06-08-2022
Afwul soap barely kept afloat by a vaguely interesting story
The mysterious event was enticing enough to drag me through the first season, but barely so. The problem is the incredibly soapy style of the actors, cinematography and pacing. Cheesy perfect persons constantly walking into the scene at the right moment to seamlessly join the conversation. Ugh.Phoenix Project, The
Four scientists in a garage try to revive dead animals
Wittenberg
08-03-2015
Experiment failed
This could and should have been a geeky mind bending gem like Primer. But it is achingly slow at times, the science is underpowered and the scientists behave unnatural. Especially that Carter guy, who single-handedly wrecks this movie with really painful, unwatchable and ridiculous overacting.Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Man - who is also a burning skeleton motor cyclist - must rescue boy who... ah whatever
Wittenberg
24-02-2013
Burning boredom
If looking at a burning skeleton hero obliterating devil scum is still boring and liveless... something must be wrong.Warning
A bunch of (related?) stories, with perhaps future technology and mankind as a central theme
Wittenberg
28-11-2021
Vague unrewarding stories
Incomprehensible at first, I got some ease of mind when I realized it's just some vague ideas and separate stories glued together in a movie. In itself still a feasible concept, but in here it was just a bit pointless and directionless, without any payoff.Magellan
Astronaut on a lone mission to investigate signals suddenly coming from various locations in our solar system
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
Unable to compensate for the little resources it had
An irresistible story and some of the space graphics are not too bad. But they contrast starkly with the amateuristic 'interior' of the spaceship, and the bizarre procedures of the space flight and handling of possible alien artifacts (plastic bag?). I also missed a point or clue to any of it.Ender's Game
A youngster is the chosen one to be trained as spacefleet admiral and repell alien threat
Wittenberg
24-07-2014
Kids in space
These kids are trained for space command by having them play a pointless Harry Potter floating game! This unwatchable movie is full of such nasty face palm moments, burying the sharp looking visuals deep beneath the surface. "He has a complicated response to authority" - who talks like that?Exorcist: believer, The
After a midnigth visit to the woods, two girls need exorcism
Wittenberg
13-01-2024
Boring, messy, silly and not scary
I was already getting bored with exorcism movies, and this is one certainly isn't turning the tables. The only novelty is that there are two victims at once, and three people doing different kinds of exorcisms at once, which turns into a mess, looks ridiculous and none of it seems to do anything.Infini
Rescue squad gets transported to a distant space base to save the last survivor
Wittenberg
26-02-2017
Looong everyting
Occasionally it strikes a chord, but EVERYTHING - be it people talking, staring, chasing, monologuing, contemplating, fighting, briefing or debriefing - takes so freaking long it starts to mess with your mind.Cocaine Bear
Various people in the woods have to deal with a bear addicted to cocaine
Wittenberg
16-04-2023
Cult is hard
It is going for a cult status with an over the top story, a bit of gore, humor and loads of colorful, quotable characters. But I found none of these components particularly successful, and the pacing seems off as frankly I got quite bored with it.Mummy, The
Modernday thief digs up a mummy that wasn't supposed to be found, for good reason
Wittenberg
27-12-2017
Underperforms in many fields
A surprisingly boring flick that feels like it was made ten years too late and does a lot of things wrong. I was especially annoyed by the humorless role of the female interest, it never got scary or tense and it severely lacked some good music.Into The Storm
Tornados
Wittenberg
31-12-2014
Cloaked with bad decisions
The question is: can you handle obnoxious teenagers with all kinds of uninteresting teenager problems, an unlikely crew of unlikable people, stiff acting and a pointless handheld camera approach in exchange for a few amusing tornado shots? Well, can you?Cars 2
McQueen and Mater get caught up up in a spionage and racing adventure.
Wittenberg
27-07-2013
Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something
Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.Capsule
Astronaut depens heavily on radiohelp from earth to get his faulty capsule to return home
Wittenberg
06-11-2016
A lot more was required to make it this bold idea work
A bold mov(i)e which almost exclusively shows the astronaut strapped in his seat. But the amateuristic, jumpy astronaut, the repetitious dialogues and unconvincing procedures are way insufficient to make it work. There's a twist at the end, but if you made it that far you'll probably no longer care.Movie 43
Teenagers scout the internet for a movie that doesn't exist, taking them through various bizarre movies as they go
Wittenberg
28-01-2014
fascinatingly unfunny
In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.Other Life
Scientist invents memory injections, but when it is used against her the line between real and artificial memory starts to blur
Wittenberg
27-12-2017
Lifeless
Nothing wrong with the idea, but it is let down by the miscasted lead playing the cocky, cold emo-scientist. The story is also annoyingly vague, and not in the intriguing, mind-bending way I was hoping for. A few days after watching this, my wife asked how it ended and I had no idea what to say.Parallels
A mysterious phonecall from a missing father leads people into a strange building that opens up to alternate earths
Wittenberg
12-02-2017
Nice idea poorly executed
Love the basic idea, but it's executed poorly with rather annoying young adults delivering really bad lines and making everything seem hopelessly amateuristic.Jiu Jitsu
Man with memory loss appearantly is member of a team fighting a (very) Predator-like alien from another dimension
Wittenberg
14-02-2021
Nope. Still a B movie.
With steady reference to a comic book, some boldsy camera work and heaps of crazy martial arts this might have winded up being smirky and fun. But it is mostly tedious and bizarre, and the lead character appears to have been typecasted as a universal B movie karate dork.Pope's Excorcist, The
... does an excorcism
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
By the book
It may try to add some extra's to the genre with the dungeon and what not, but mostly it feels like a textbook exorcism that is so by the book that you wonder why they bothered. Not scary, overacted, not interesting, I almost reached for my phone.Fifty Shades of Grey
Woman falls in love with mysterious and wealthy man, but he has sadomasochistic desires
Wittenberg
17-07-2016
What a turnoff
Mostly a boring soap opera where they speak in Hollywood cliches. Their relationship is ice cold and unconvincing. The woman is confusingly flip flop towards the SM, and the corresponding scenes are bullshit as they kept it 'romantic' and pretty to look at. A feather? Really!?Insurgent
In a future where people are living in factions based to their personalities, a group of rebels aim to break these boundaries
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
Can you make it till the end
I am afraid I loathe these 'young adult' future novels as of late. I can't stand these plastic, one dimensional people living in these ridiculous worlds doing unlikely stuff, always looking oh so pretty as they go along. The only savior are the imaginative and classy 'sim' scenes near the end.Requin, The
Couple with issues hires a luxery villa on poles in the sea to get away from things, until a storm rips it off and drift them onto open sea. With sharks.
Wittenberg
15-03-2022
Too many issues
It's usually nice to view these disasters from the comfort of a lazy chair, but this one has too many issues. Fake effects, cheap and obvious use of stock material, subpar acting, overall implausible events and a really skewed sense of distance, depth and location in the sea.Kin Dread
Traumatized guy, confined to a room making soundseffectcs, discovers something strange in his apartment and about his past
Wittenberg
14-11-2021
Could't follow or care
There might be a clever and interesting idea in here, but I am afraid it didn't quite come out for me. It was just to hard to follow, too vague to make sense and often got stuck like a car in a the mud.I, Frankenstein
Frankenstein's monster's chosen profession, being alive and all, is demon hunter. Together, with gargoyles!
Wittenberg
09-06-2014
Pointless and quite uninteresting
The creation of the monster is briefly told in flashbacks while the opening titles are still running. The fact that he is Frankentein's is hardly relevant. He is basically a strong, civilized dude fighting demons, in a dull and stiff copycat of Underworld and Van Helsing Gothic stylistics.Eerie
A girl school is haunted. The school psychiatrist (?) tries to find out how this came to be so.
Wittenberg
08-03-2024
A tiresome, unscary horror with nothing new to offer
The low saturated colors give this movie a somewhat tight and professional look, but that's just superficial. The truth is that it has only a very loose script and tired cliche horror moments on offer. It really got quite boring and stopped being scary early on.Meg 2: The Trench
More troubles from Megalodons, as well as other beasts that emerged from the depths. And from Russians.
Wittenberg
11-09-2023
This doesn't work for me anymore
Perhaps these movies are actually very hard to make. I mean everything is stupid, dumb, unfunny and manic, and yet still needs the reach the mystical threshold for being 'so bad it's good' or 'uncomplicated popcorn fun'. I, for one, am too grumpy and old for that to work any longer.Moon 44
Pilot/cop goes undercover to a mining planet to oversee the convict pilots fighting of an alien invasion
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
A disappointing story in a cool scifi environment
The scenery, with it's dark and steamy hallways and spaceships, is remarkably like an Aliens, so that's good! The story though, is mostly convicts and and their navigators fighting, while the hero smokes cigarettes and tries to look cool - not really interesting.Forbidden World
Astronout lands on a base where an alien experiment get out of hand
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
Didn't turn out to be a classic
I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.jung_e
A team tries to create the ultimate warrior by recycling a brain into new cyborg bodies, but can't figure out why she keeps underperforming
Wittenberg
27-01-2023
Nothing much to make it work
A bit of a Korean take on Ghost in the Shell, this should interesting. But is is not. The action is utterly unconvincing, and I hated some of the characters who either over-acted or were just cringey and one-dimensional. The story attempts some quasi deep theme's but it all falls flat immediately.Brothers Grimsby, The
Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way
Wittenberg
11-12-2016
Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough
Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.Fantastic Mr. Fox
Fox and friends engage in a war with local farmers when they steal chickens
Wittenberg
13-11-2021
Did not push my buttons
It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.Firestarter (2022)
Girl tries to control and live with her ability to set things on fire, but evil people make her loose her cool
Wittenberg
05-06-2022
Left me cold (that punchline is probably taken)
One of those movies that, on the face of it, looks quite solid and adept, and makes you wonder why you're not enjoying it more. I think her parent's additional paranormal abilities get in the way of an already uninspired and even boring story that fails to ignite. (That's probably also taken.)Hungerford
Some roomies/friends try to survice, after space visitors turn everyone into zombies. Good thing one of them was just doing a film project.
Wittenberg
13-11-2020
A minimal found-footage flick with annoying protagonist
I should sympathize with what they managed to create using very little resources, but it really was pretty basic zombie stuff. Some acted pretty good, some were ok, but the main character was a really annoying dude, and I started to despise his constant heavy breathing and drama.Independence Daysaster
Aliens strike from above and below, smalltown folk (and president) scramble into action
Wittenberg
13-04-2014
Bad - but sympathetic and unpretentious
You B-movie you! With your continuous bombastic music blasting over shaky camera shots of people constantly jumping in and out a car! But it's sort of all right, it does what it can. Effects are sufficient. Fair game.Reminiscence
When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up
Wittenberg
06-12-2021
half decent idea failed
The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.Matrix 4: Resurrections, The
Neo, living in the matrix again as a guy who made a matrix game, goes back into the matrix to save Trinity, who is in the matrix.
Wittenberg
28-02-2022
This time, the mindbender is the movie itself
I am not sure how a 4th sequel could have worked or what I wanted from it, but surely it wasn't this. I hate the lazy self aware 'meta' approach and the revisiting of classic moments. Nothing really works anymore, I cringed multiple times. An odd misfire, which makes you wonder how this came to be.Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum
Found footage from a Korean ghost hunting documentaryteam, who get what they are looking for
Wittenberg
21-01-2024
Scares drowned in annoying team
There is a handful of chilling scenes near the end, but by that time I was too worn-down by the, once again, obnoxious team of selfcontent vloggers. I was getting really tired of the fullscreen close-ups of their sobbing faces, amidst a minimalistic and random story.Soul (2022), The
Prosecutor dying of cancer takes on a murder case that reveals dark secrets and transplants of more than just cells
Wittenberg
29-05-2022
Probably a brillant story but failed in presentation
I can appreciate the deep, well thought out story that stacks several layers of twists on each other, providing a real thinker of a crime story with perhaps a dash of horror. But it is presented so slowly en depressingly that I struggled to notice or care - and to stay awake too.Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 81 - 130
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