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Somnus
The crew of a spaceship are in danger when the board computer turns rogue
Wittenberg
28-12-2017
Slow and bad looking
The atmosphere and some of the interior design were promising. But soon it dwells into endless, static conversations, misguided and pointless scenery (what were those jellyfish? What's with the train?) and increasingly worse visuals. With that creature on asteroid-city, they seemed to have given up.Device, The
Two sisters (and a douche) retreat to a sumercabin to overcome past trauma. But what they find only brings them extraterrestial misery.
Wittenberg
04-02-2015
It's plain bad
There are a lot of things wrong with this amateuristic scifi horror. Like the cheesy aliens and the many awkward overlong chat scenes. But the completely misleading, non-representative poster artwork is really criminal. Tssssk!Internship, The
With no relevant skills, two sacked salesmen enlist for an internship at Google.
Wittenberg
02-02-2014
404 humor not found
Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.Seance: the Summoning
Some teens comfortably go into a morgue to summon spirits between corpses, then seem frustrated if things getting scary indeed
Wittenberg
15-04-2018
Not even God can save this movie
A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.Air Strike a.k.a. The Bombing
In a chinese village under constant bombardment from the Japanese, a Chinese pilot is sent on a ground mission to transport a valuable cargo.
Wittenberg
30-11-2018
A tiresome mess
So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.Gods of the Deep
A submarine crew ventures into deep, to enter a portal leading to a place where ancient gods may reside
Wittenberg
12-03-2024
Pulp that almost wins sympathy, but the amateurism was just too much
When you have no budget, is it foolish or courageous to make an underwater movie? Either way, I was tempted to give this fun borderline amateur movie some credit in all it's cheesiness, but the silly story and Numark audio mixer serving as pilot controls were just too distracting.Cosmic Sin
When extraterrestrial live is discovered, a team goes to another planet to neutralize the threat, bringing an old veteran with them
Wittenberg
05-05-2024
crappy
I knew this was crappy ,but I was hoping it would turn into some amusing goofball entertainment. But is really was just crappy, with long tiresome dialogues ("They may very well be alive, but highly unlikely"), gutless combat and no real sense of being in the future.Nova
On a spaceship to mars, an android is struggling with acceptance by the human captain, other androids and her own developing emotions
Wittenberg
29-01-2023
Looks and feels like a school project
Rather than pointing out the numerous problems in this (homemade?) movie, a more important question would be if the fundamental philosophical issues raised somehow make the them irrelevant, merely an accessory tool for conveying a thought provoking message? No.ARQ
Guy gets caught in a time loop in which he must escape a house from evil people who want his time machine. Sort of.
Wittenberg
14-11-2018
Repitition can be repetitive
This movie made me appreciate those stuck-in-repeating-day movies more, for doing the same but keeping it interesting still. This one, however, is agonizingly repetitive, narrow and has a crawling pace and boring actors. Too bad about the snappy beginning a synth soundtrack.Fortress (2012)
Replacement co-pilot of a B-17 struggles not only with the war, but also with winning the trust and respect of the crew
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
Perhaps with a better story
Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.Fear Street part one: 1994
Mysterious killer kills youth
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
A hot mess
Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.Paranormal Whacktivity
Sexually frustrated couple is haunted by ghost (also sexually frustrated)
Wittenberg
28-10-2013
A terrible movie that almost made it to being just bad
Amateuristic, improvised, messy and - worst of all - unfunny throughout. But: I think they had fun on the set, and the actors could have, in theory, pulled this off. Something actually funny was lurking in the shadows.Deep Fear
A sailor rescues two shiprecked people, which leads into an ordeal of crime and shark invested waters
Wittenberg
24-03-2024
Another crap shark movie
When the lead is a pumped up bimbo with spot-on make-up even after two deepdives, shot in numerous preposterous shots to show her curves, a movie is pretty much lost. Add crappy acting and a poor script and it becomes hopeless. Two shark attack scenes were surprisingly ok compared to the rest of it.Halo: Nightfall
A new type of enemy weapon emerges, so brave soldiers must go back to the Halo to resolve it. I think.
Wittenberg
09-11-2015
Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story
Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.Shanghai Fortress
Shanghai defends against an alien invasion. With a big canon.
Wittenberg
31-07-2020
Arrogant empty shell
How the hell did they get such a big budget to make such bland, generic, lifeless movie? It radiates arrogance. The numerous 'emotional' scenes with cheesy minor piano chords fall flat completely because I didn't know or care who these people are!Alien Warfare
Specialforces team is scrambled to investigate what happened to some lab. (it was aliens!)
Wittenberg
30-08-2021
Almost abysmal
There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.Dark Space
Teenagers boost the spaceship taking them to a party planet, but in doing so they end up on a hostile planet where evil lurks.
Wittenberg
29-11-2014
A different writer please
I could have sympathized with this for some reasonable effects and designs, good intentions and the cute Saitek joystick prop. But they made it sheer impossible to do so, with appalling dialogue, hopeless characters and a world record amount of creature-flashes-by-the-screen-with-loud-sound scares.God's Not Dead
Christian student is forced to prove the existence of God by one of those malicious atheist philosophy teachers. There's also substories of other idiots (like cancer patients and muslims) finding God
Wittenberg
14-08-2016
but this movie is
I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Unbearably loud
That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.Outwaters, The
Found footage of 4 friends who went into the desert and encountered various hardships
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
found random nonsense
First there's the usual get to know the annoying characters, then for a moment it's slightly interesting, only to then plummet into a mess of unclear, pointless, loud, endless and absolutely RANDOM events thrown at you because noone knew what this was about.V/H/S: Viral
A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
Messy
I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.Last Witch Hunter, The
Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
Boring and superficial
The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.Horsehead
A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
A failure
Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.Jurassic World: Dominion
People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs
It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.Moon, The
An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
Looks okay, afwul kitch movie
Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.Catwoman
Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
Maybe girls like it
The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.Imaginary
Family is confonted with an evil imaginary friend of the youngest daughter
Wittenberg
14-04-2024
A great idea planted in fruitless soil
What a fantastic idea to make horror about imaginary friends. Unfortunately, this movie had just one moment that impressed me. The rest is a formulaic affair with a badly acting daughter, some stupid lines an characters, missed opportunities and a generic trademark Blumhouse horrormovie feel to it.Assasins Creed
Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple
Wittenberg
02-05-2017
Stupid and liveless
I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.Transformers: Age of Extinction
The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
near torture
This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.Cycle
Astronaut (?) wakes up in a place and needs to find a way out before a fog runs over it.
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Fascinating AND yawn inducing
This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.Offering (aka Abyzou), The
Man secretely wanting to sell his fathers funeral home, has to deal with cleansing it from evil first
Wittenberg
01-07-2023
Waisted
Despite one of the scariest locations I know (morgues), tastefully lit scenery and a promise of creepy Orthodox Jewish reli-horror, this movie was unable to craft it into something scary or interesting. Instead, it has only really, really tiresome loud-noise jumpscares to offer.Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars
It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
Ruined by the characters
Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.Starving Games, The
A parody of guess which movie
Wittenberg
21-08-2015
A turkey of the second kind
A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.Rebels of PT-218, The
During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources
If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse
Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie
For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.Insidious: The Red Door
Father and son forgot their trauma through hypnosis, but when the son goes to college, the past comes back.
Wittenberg
09-04-2024
Uninspired and uncapable
An utterly uninspired attempt to do some more with this franchise. It looses any creepiness early on, only to continue with a tiresome, slow and predictable waste of time.Death Valley
Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
Uninspired and stolen
A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.Gantz
Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident
Wittenberg
19-01-2020
I gave up
I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the prospect of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.Kickboxer: retaliation
Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
You may skip this
I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
Pretentious, boring and annoying
I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.Doctor Sleep
Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl
Wittenberg
09-08-2020
Sacrilege yourself
Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.Machine, The
Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of
Wittenberg
23-03-2015
Too boring, too B
While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.Rings
More people watch the cursed video
Wittenberg
08-10-2017
Lazy
What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.Andor
Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's
Wittenberg
11-12-2022
Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull
Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.Nun II, The
It's the Nun II
Wittenberg
22-12-2023
Good looking borefest with no story
Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.Alien Outpost aka Outpost 37
Mockumentary of soldiers in some outpost fighting aliens
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
Badly done scifi
A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.Project Ithica
A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
Gets tired quickly
Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.Witcher season 3, The
Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger
Wittenberg
12-08-2023
Dull
This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.Wolf Hound
Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown
This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.Movies found: 1044 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 26 - 75
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