BoiledDown.net


If everyone's a critic, then so are we!
critic login

Approaching the Unknown

A skilled engineer and solo astronaut must handle numerous challenges during his the voyage to Mars

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-11-2016
6.5

Sober scifi with a few letdowns.

It has a lot going for it, like a nice techy (but not necessarily realistic) theme and a pleasant, sober approach that doesn't do cheap thrills. On the downside, the main actor is not really sympathetic, and the single 'capcom' guy plainly sitting behind a desk was just silly and cheap.
6.5

Kin

Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
6.5

Too slow and mixed up

Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.
6.5

The Mountain Between Us

Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
6.5

Yeh sort of works

Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.
6.5

The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)

Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
6.5

Too much mysteries

Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".
6.5

A.I. Rising

For a long journey, a cosmonaut will be accompanied by a female android engineered to his taste

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
6.5

ok, but would have benefited greatly from better writing

With just a some fairly modest modifications in the dialogue and story line, such as more profound elements of philosophy, existentialism, psychology and perhaps some horror, this would have been great. As it stands though, it still is a decent sci-fi tale.
6.5

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

During the familty vacation to Florida, the kid accidently ends up alone in New York - as do his nemesis crooks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-12-2021
6.5

Faithfully more of the same

I'd say it successfully manages retain the same atmosphere, jokes and story line as the original. So if you are in need of more of the same slapstick humor, and warm family friendly Christmas vibes, this will do.
6.5

Older Gods

A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
6.5

A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight

These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.
6.5

Escape Plan

A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
6.5

Too cliched to be great

The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.
6.5

The Void

Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
6.5

Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless

A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.
6.5

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
6.5

Tiresome spectacle

A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.
6.5

Maleficent

The fairytale of sleeping beauty with a few of twists added

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2015
6.5

Beautiful fairytale without impact

At times pleasing to look at, and Jolie is excellent as well. But it combines mystery, children's humor and more darker tones, resulting in a movie that fails to leave a lasting impression in any of these fields.
6.5

Orbita 9

Woman on a long solo space mission gets a visit from a mechanic, after which she learns the true nature of her mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2021
6.5

Nice scifi with a twist. One twist - early on.

With a plotline that it's impossible to describe accurately without ruining it, this is a pleasant scifi done just fine. It's just that, after the big twist it's, sort of de-energizes a few notches. When the big reveal is almost at the beginning, it's harder to keep us hooked.
6.5

Sand Castle

Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
6.5

it's got the stuff but not the story

They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.
6.5

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

After being sold an abused as a sex slave, a nun sets out to take revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
6.5

Nice and campy

Much like Tarantino movies, it shamelessly celebrates campy, violent, badly acted, poorly edited movies taking please in sweaty Mexican style landscapes. It does so quite well, but it also doesn't do much more than that. And the guns weren't that big either.
6.5

Project Almanac

Students built a timemachine

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-09-2015
6.5

Lacks inspirantion or a smart story

They have something going on at first, then all they do with the machine is go back in time to party and solve tedious adolescence problems. By the time tampering-with-time troubles finally start, I was kind of done with it.
6.5

High Life

Survivor on a spaceship tries to take care of a babygirl. Slowly we learn what preceded this situation, and what comes after.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-04-2022
6.5

ok as a slowburning, artistic scifi, but hardy delivers a payoff

The decor hardly reminded me of a spaceship, but I presume the creators thought this was irrelevant to the sophisticated story they wanted to tell. And while I was interested and enjoyed this 'alternative' scifi, it was also arrogantly slow and even the word pretentious came to mind.
6.5

Black Snake Moan

When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
6.5

I saw through it

Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.
6.5

Flight

An amazing, live-saving crash landing done by an alcohol drug addict pilot. How do you plead?
average 6.7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2013
8

Denzel we'd forgive you!

Stellar acting and crash scene. More than enough to keep you hooked to what is otherwise 'just' an alcohol drama.
8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
13-02-2013
3

Meow!

Kitty like milk
3

Show previous reviews Hide previous reviews
robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
9

Up and down

and so it goes
9

Human Centipede

Man makes a human centipede by stitching people together ass-to-mouth. No really, he does.
average 6.8

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-11-2013
6.5

Still feeling slightly nauseous....

Although it has been quite some time since I actually watched this movie, I still get an awkward feeling remembering the gross scenes. Which is, on the other hand, rather impressive since I do not associate many movies with such enduring and intense (negative) emotions....
6.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2013
7

A horrendous but lasting experience

Effortlessly falls into the category: why the hell did they make this... and why the hell am I watching this? Painful, vulgar and almost unbearable to watch. But I remember it better than the average multimilliondollar super FX movie that I have seen lately.
7

testmovie

desc
average 6.8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
4.5

final floattest, can't be one integer

2.5 for me
4.5

robocop
robocop
20-05-2013
9.5

It will also float this

Floating with 9.5
9.5

Show previous reviews Hide previous reviews
Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-05-2013
6.5

testing it with float integer

floating rating 6.5
6.5

Monstrous

Woman and her son want to leave the past behind in a new house near a pond... but something lurks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2022
7

Great reveal and vibe, but somehow didn't quite nail it

The reveal at the end, and some pondering on my part, made me realize this is actually a pretty clever movie. But the bubbly 50's colors and cartoonish acting of the mother, while creating a unique atmosphere, sort of diminished the scares - which were already a bit cliched.
7

Eagle vs. Shark

Nerdgirl in pursuit of a nerdguy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-07-2014
7

Touching

The lead actress steals your heart the minute she appears on the screen, and takes you into a funny, touching and quite unique love story. Looses some momentum as it progresses, though
7

The Corpse of Anna Fritz

Friends violate the corpse of a celebrity in the morgue, then something unexpected happens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2024
7

An uncomfortable subject cleverly twisted into a decent thriller

Although there is obviously necrophilia, the movie manages to keep it watchable without wanting to take a shower afterwards. In fact, it turns into an original and really decent thriller.
7

The Last Duel

Story behind the last official duel of the middle ages, when there were almost no colors

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2021
7

Well made and interesting, but know it's basically lengthy love drama

What a great idea to explore what was behind these duels: Who were these people? What were they fighting for? And while the movie is made with much class and great acting, it still felt like a love-triangle-jealousy kind of thing which almost is a bit soapy at times.
7

What We Do in the Shadows

Mockumentary about group of vampires trying to get by in daily life

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2015
7

Funny and unique

A sassy movie with a nice sense of humor a great atmosphere. Could have used some killer jokes though.
7

The Discovery

When an afterlife is scientifically proven, suicide becomes rampant because people try to get there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-06-2017
7

Not all I hoped, bit I still liked it

Part of me wished it was more about the discovery itself, part of me wished it was deeper en creepier, but the rest of me was quite pleased with the sober, depressing and character based-approach that still manages to intrigue and serve a satisfying climax.
7

La Nuée

Woman can barely support her family with a grashopper farm, until she finds out they yield better when fed blood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2021
7

A sober animal horror that fails to push through

In a way, this is the eighties animal swarm horror movies re-imagined in a much more realistic, restrained and adult way. It works for the most part, but the same simple and slow atmosphere also had me yearning for some more excitement.
7

Vortex

Through a rift in time, a detective can meet his murdered wife in the past, and try to catch the killer before it's too late.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
7

Simple but sweet time travel conundrums

It's perhaps a bit tame, and guilty of picking and choosing only the time travels paradoxes it wants, but all in all we enjoyed this puzzler that mixes crime, time travel and a love-story into a sympathetic series.
7

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Hobbits reach the mountain and Bilbo confronts the dragon

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-01-2014
7

Beautiful failure

You have to admire the sheer beauty and magnitude of this spectacle. But there is also a feeling of disappointment, as I cannot really get into this movie, feel for any of the characters, appreciate the campy slapstick action or take in the wash of special effects.
7

Into the Heart of the Sea

The 'true' story of Moby Dick, of whale hunters becoming hunted by a whale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
7

Well made but not engaging enough

It has a nice look and feel to it, and it was clearly made with much love and dedication. But these grumpy and dirty men harpooning whales were hardly sympathetic, so their misfortune was hardly engaging. The thick arty layers of unnatural colors take away a sense or realism too.
7

Extermination

Family tries to survive an invasion from outer space and learn something about themselves along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2018
7

Very decent scifi with a nice twist

All in all this was quite classy and stylistic most of the time, and it has a satisfactory twist as well. It does, however, dwell in certain scenes, and features some horrible cliches like a little girl risking everyone's lives to get her teddybear. Ugh.
7

The Girl on the Third Floor

Man is revamping a house before his wife moves in, but the house has a sinister past

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2023
7

A remarkably framed horror

The main protagonist is a remarkably cartoonish and over-the-top character, which reminded me a bit of the Ash character from Evil Dead. While this horror has it's moment's, this mostly makes it akin towards comedy. Refreshing and quiet amusing perhaps, but not really terrifying.
7

Gun Woman

A crippled man turns a meth woman into an assassin to avenge his past. Now - where to hide to gun?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-09-2015
7

A bizarre and painfull plan. But will it work?

A rather sad movie with a lot of blood, suffering and necrophilia that provides an uncomfortable watch. The gun woman, however, does manage to drag you into the story, and make you anxious to see whether it all works out as planned.
7

Ninjago

The green ninja is having daddy issues, so he and his team venture into the jungle to find the ultimate ultimate weapon to defeat him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2017
7

Unbalanced

These LEGO movies will deliver the frantic action and fun, but I found it an unbalanced with a restless first half and then too much over-emotional scenes in the second one. But who am I? My son rated it 9.5.
7

Caligula

Caligula kills the emperor to take his place, and descents into a life orgies, paranoia, delusions of grandeur and his demise

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2022
7

Something embarrasing you keep looking at

The change of static scenery's and unapologetic overacting makes it feel theatric. The many explicit sex scenes mostly come across as clumsy and awkward, as does the jumpy, idiotic and embarrassing behavior of Caligula. Yes, embarrassing was my main sensation, but I have to admit I was intrigued too
7

The Heat

Uptight FBI agent must work with streetsmart cop - both females this time.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2014
7

as is

The feminine variation on the buddy-cop theme gives it a slight edge over the expected experience: funny but not hilarious, entertaining but not engrossing, good but not great.
7

Brain Dead / Dead Alive

An exotic rat bite turn the dead into zombies. An dorky man and his girlfriend fight them with all their might.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
7

A classic, but has lost some impact over the years

It reached new levels of splatter-gore when it came out, and it still is quite a bloodbath today. The humorous tone helps to make the somewhat campy effects acceptable, but prevents it from becoming really scary or gross.
7

Bodies Bodies Bodies

Teens play a murder game in a desolate house all for themselves. Not before long, shit turns real and paranoia reaches extremes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
7

Pretty cool contemporary whoddunit

The prospect of watching superhip Tiktok kids yelling stuff like ghosting and gaslighting while screaming and running through the house was not appealing to me. But I gotta say, these actors portray some pretty intense characters, adding to pretty intense, contemporary whodunnit film.
7

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

One man can claim the magic sword and challenge the evil king

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2018
7

Watch out for splinters

At times a majestic and grandiose movie that definitely has it's moments, but also has some distracting dissonants like the weird fast paced conversations and inconsistent character of Arthur himself. Sometimes he was sincere, sometimes a goofball. It failed to latch on, already I am forgetting it.
7

Red Sparrow

In order to care for her mother, a woman has no other choice but to join the Russian Seductive - I mean Secret - Service

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2019
7

Another fine spy movie

There's nothing wrong with it. It could even be quite good. But to me, all these spy femme fatale movies are so bloody similar and generic, like they al follow the same textbook. The 'seduction training school' was something that stood out, but seemed too absurd to add points to this.
7

Alien: Covenant

A colonial spaceship decides to do an unscheduled stop at an unknown, potentially habitable, planet when they pick up broadcast from it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2017
7

Another great alien movie that is also a huge disappointment

It still manages to shock and awe with intense alien encounters en space tech porn. But the more it wants to elaborate on the story and origins of the creature, the more it destroys. I wish I had never seen a live engineer - the single dead one was 100x more intriguing.
7

Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle

Space colonists try to defeat Godzilla by luring him to the mechzilla facility

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
7

A somewhat mellow but fine chapter in this series

It really is an in-between movie without a convincing climax, and with less tension and mystery than its predecessor. But is also retrains enough of the unique style and excitement to make it worthwhile.
7

Code 8

Man with electrical superpowers has no to choice but to use them for shady business so he can pay for his mother's medical bills

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2020
7

Solid but with some windowdressing

Overall this was quite solid and featured good acting and atmospherics. But ultimately the superpowers and cool airdrop-robots started to feel as window dressing, because they didn't really seem to matter for the development of the story, and a slightly underwhelming crime story was what remained.
7

Pi

A man obsessed with numbers looses his mind where he tries to find patterns in both the stock exchange and the Tora

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2024
7

A pleasant fix of gloomy weirdness

I wonder if it's just because of the black and white that it reminded me of Eraserhead? Or was it also the sweaty claustrophobic cinematography, the insanity and otherworldlyness of it all? Who knows. It's a cult niche thing, but a worthy one for sure.
7

Bad Milo

When people agitate this man, a demon comes out of his ass and eats them. No Shit.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2014
7

Naughty and pleasantly bizarre

but the constant rectal suffering could make you nauseous.
7

Midway

About the famous WW2 battle in the pacific, after Pearl Harbour

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2019
7

I feared worse

There's the inevitable movie cliches. The main gum-chewing hero was annoying as hell. But I like how his character changed as he was given responsibility, and the movie features plenty of well done and good looking battle scenes. Yet none of it really stuck as I left the theater.
7

Oldboy

A man is held captive for 15 years for unknown reasons, and is out for revenge when he finally gets out.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
7

curious revenge tale

A curious revenge tale that benefits from some surrealistic and disorienting elements. Highly original and quite brutal at times. But I must admit that none of it really stuck - i am having a hard time remembering it.
7

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Hydra has infiltrated the safety of SHIELD, and there's a new enemy as well

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-08-2014
7

A really mixed bag

It's more mature, confident and less hysteric than most superhero movies, due to restrained superpowers and lots of attention to the story. But, all characters are flat and unlikable, and the brawls are a bit tedious. This quality popcorn amusement feels like it could have been more than that.
7

Tusk

Vlogger stays at a man's mansion to do an episode on him. But the man has plans to turn his guest into something else.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
7

Sad horror, but without real impact

It's definitely out of the ordinary. Partly body horror, but I also found something very sad about it. The overall feeling however, is that of a student joke - especially after the end scroll. Somehow all the misery sort of passes you by.
7

Logan

Wolferine is old and tired, rather be driving around for Uber than protecting this mysterious girl that crosses his path

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
7

Intense and different, but not necessarily likable

I can appreciate the grime atmosphere and action instead of the ridiculous and hollow bubbly colors of most superhero movies. But is does mean that there is hardly anyone to like in this movie, nor is Charles as a needy and deteriorating man any fun to watch.
7

Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 441 - 490

Previous Next