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Fortress (2012)

Replacement co-pilot of a B-17 struggles not only with the war, but also with winning the trust and respect of the crew

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
3.5

Perhaps with a better story

Not soon after enjoying the initial CGI planes passing by, I noticed the upcoming gloom of this movie: wooden and stiff dialogue and very poor storytelling and direction. It also has that B-movie smallness to it, with no wide angle shots on the ground to disguise the absence of sets.
3.5

Fear Street part one: 1994

Mysterious killer kills youth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
3.5

A hot mess

Sometimes you don't like a movie and move on, and sometimes and it really bugs you - like this one. A disjointed, messy movie that has some uninteresting teenagers making their way through tedious cliche horror events. Vague, boring and uninspired. No, I am not watching the other 'parts'.
3.5

Alien Outpost aka Outpost 37

Mockumentary of soldiers in some outpost fighting aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
4

Badly done scifi

A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.
4

Project Ithica

A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
4

Gets tired quickly

Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.
4

The Witcher season 3

Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2023
4

Dull

This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.
4

Wolf Hound

Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
4

Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown

This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.
4

The Holly Kane Experiment

Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
4

You don't fool me

This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?
4

The Book of Boba Fett

Boba is now a mayor

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
4

As if the plot wasn't bad enough

I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.
4

Hellraiser 2022

A puzzlebox summons hellish bringers of torture and death

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
4

Yawning at cenobites

Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.
4

V/H/S: Viral

A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
4

Messy

I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.
4

The Last Witch Hunter

Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
4

Boring and superficial

The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.
4

The Outwaters

Found footage of 4 friends who went into the desert and encountered various hardships

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
4

found random nonsense

First there's the usual get to know the annoying characters, then for a moment it's slightly interesting, only to then plummet into a mess of unclear, pointless, loud, endless and absolutely RANDOM events thrown at you because noone knew what this was about.
4

Horsehead

A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
4

A failure

Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.
4

Jurassic World: Dominion

People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
4

Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs

It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.
4

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
4

Unbearably loud

That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.
4

The Moon

An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
4

Looks okay, afwul kitch movie

Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.
4

Assasins Creed

Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-05-2017
4

Stupid and liveless

I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.
4

Cycle

Astronaut (?) wakes up in a place and needs to find a way out before a fog runs over it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
4

Fascinating AND yawn inducing

This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.
4

The Offering (aka Abyzou)

Man secretely wanting to sell his fathers funeral home, has to deal with cleansing it from evil first

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-07-2023
4

Waisted

Despite one of the scariest locations I know (morgues), tastefully lit scenery and a promise of creepy Orthodox Jewish reli-horror, this movie was unable to craft it into something scary or interesting. Instead, it has only really, really tiresome loud-noise jumpscares to offer.
4

Catwoman

Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
4

Maybe girls like it

The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.
4

Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars

It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
4

Ruined by the characters

Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.
4

The Starving Games

A parody of guess which movie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-08-2015
4

A turkey of the second kind

A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.
4

The Rebels of PT-218

During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
4

Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources

If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.
4

Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse

Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
4

ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie

For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.
4

Death Valley

Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
4

Uninspired and stolen

A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.
4

Transformers: Age of Extinction

The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
4

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.
4

Gantz

Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-01-2020
4

I gave up

I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.
4

Better Than Us

In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
4

No drive

I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the thought of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.
4

Kickboxer: retaliation

Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
4

You may skip this

I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.
4

Doctor Sleep

Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2020
4

Sacrilege yourself

Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.
4

The Machine

Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2015
4

Too boring, too B

While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.
4

Rings

More people watch the cursed video

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-10-2017
4

Lazy

What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.
4

Andor

Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2022
4

Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull

Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.
4

The Nun II

It's the Nun II

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2023
4

Good looking borefest with no story

Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.
4

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
4

Pretentious, boring and annoying

I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.
4

Goof dbase new movie

summary

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-09-2018
4.5

I want my site back

i really do
4.5

Renegades

Navy seals divert from their mission to recover lost nazi gold form a Bosnian Lake

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-06-2021
4.5

blub blub

Instead of the nail-biting, claustrophobic movie the storyline caters for, it came out surprisingly dull and lame. Characters are boring, nothing really works, pacing is off, music is off, story totally implausible. It sinks even further when it tries to be witty.
4.5

Saw X

When fraudulent people take advantage of the SAW mastermind's cancer, he subjects them to his sinister traps

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2024
4.5

Stupid movie that pushed the wrong buttons with me

Were the victims in the previous parts also bad humans, getting what they deserved? I can't remember, but I found it far fetched and dumb. I reached a state of irritation, meaning I also found all these traps ridiculous. I mean how much time would each cost to even set up correctly? I'm out.
4.5

Gods of Egypt

Exhiled Horus gets a change to reclaim his crown with the aid of a mortal thief

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-10-2016
4.5

Nice demo

Looks and feels like a computergame. Come to think of it, games nowadays have more interesting en deep characters than this painfully boring, flat and hollow production. It's always an embarrassing experience when so much is going on and you don't care about any of it.
4.5

Geostorm

Mankind built a space system to keep the extreme climate in control, but then it starts to make things worse instead of better

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2018
4.5

All things wrong with big Hollywood productions

A terrible film that checks all the boxes of overblown Hollywood-Michael-Bay like hysteria, stupidity and shallowness.
4.5

Into The Storm

Tornados

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-12-2014
4.5

Cloaked with bad decisions

The question is: can you handle obnoxious teenagers with all kinds of uninteresting teenager problems, an unlikely crew of unlikable people, stiff acting and a pointless handheld camera approach in exchange for a few amusing tornado shots? Well, can you?
4.5

Cars 2

McQueen and Mater get caught up up in a spionage and racing adventure.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-07-2013
4.5

Let's put in everything, kids gotta like something

Looking at this through the eyes of my children, I felt exhausted and embarrassed by the loud, hectic and rushed screenplay, overcomplicated story, and Mater shooting miniguns. But there must be something wrong with my eyes because they still seemed to enjoy it.
4.5

The Call-Up

Some gamers are invited to play a game in a lifesize simulated environment. It's all fun and games, until people actually die.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-01-2018
4.5

No twist?

I liked how it was all set up and some of the music in the beginning. But soon enough it is evident that the actors or screenplay are below par. But what bugged me the most is that they missed the opportunity to add some double layers and twists into the story, of which I can easily think of some.
4.5

Ahsoka

Ahsoka and apprentice must stop evil warlord from returning from exhile

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-10-2023
4.5

Pretty bad

I liked some of the spaceships, and some characters I like too. But unfortunately, the main characters, Ahsoka (with her unbearable smirk) and Sabine (look at me I am a rebel), were unbearable. Also, poor combat, poor plotline, slow pacing, and even more useless stormtroopers abound.
4.5

Movie 43

Teenagers scout the internet for a movie that doesn't exist, taking them through various bizarre movies as they go

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2014
4.5

fascinatingly unfunny

In itself I can see potential in the jokes on offer. But I just gazed at these clumsy, grime and bizarre sketches without laughing once, becoming almost fascinated in the process. It's one of those 'You need the right drug first' movies, but if you find which one, it could be hysterical.
4.5

IO

Woman is trying to find cures for a dying world, but an uninvited stranger urges her to join him and catch the last rescue ship into space

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-01-2019
4.5

Sympathetic but very boring

I really tried to get into the flow of this slow-burn movie, as a small, delicate an intimate story about big issues. But boring is boring, and the quasi-meaningful dialogue and cascade of pointless scenes made me yell COME ON too many times.
4.5

Occupation Rainfall

On an alien invaded earth, humans and some alied aliens set out find a mysterious rainfall that can save humanity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-07-2022
4.5

Tiresome scifi bonanza

There's actually some okay stuff here and there: some effects, some scenes, some concepts, some designs. But it's just so bloated and hysteric, like they wanted to include everything they could think of and barf it onto you in an endless stream. Very tiresome.
4.5

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

The paranormal detectives try to trace the orgins of a boy's evil curse, apperantly to use as defense in a court case

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-07-2023
4.5

A lacklustre horror/thriller/detective story

While it may be original, I did not find the detective/court story very appealing. A bigger problem is that it doesn't really get scary or under your skin. It's a bit nasty and loud, and left me way more indifferent than a horror movie ought to.
4.5

The Black Demon

A family vacation winds up on a decommissioned oilrig with a huge shark patroling the waters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-01-2024
4.5

Lacklustre, even for a a shark movie

For some reason big shark movies get a pass for not being of much quality, but even so this one is a bit problematic. There was a lack of inspiration to do actual sharks scenes, so there's a lot of chatty fillers about the environment and vague folklore. Some subplots even seemed abandoned.
4.5

Orphan: First Kill

The woman who looks like a child infiltrates the first home to go for the kill

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
4.5

Pointless and boring prequel

Many people were impressed bu apparent plot twist, but I was very bored with this empty shell, and found the acting was quite problematic. Adults acting like children is always so over the top, like they act like a caricature of a generic child. Weird and cringy.
4.5

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