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Captain Underpants

When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
6.5

Ok, but a bit timid

Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).
6.5

Blair Witch (2016)

Armed with 7 million camera's, a brother sets of to find his sister who disappeard in the cursed woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2017
6.5

The formula is still scary, but you start to look through it

This felt scary but over-familiar, and the realism achieved by the found footage started to feel very unrealistic instead. I mean who the hell carries this many cameras and shoots this much at these insane moment? Kudos though, for some of the actors enacting deep deep fear in the finale.
6.5

Home Alone 3

This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
6.5

Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?

With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.
6.5

Shutter

Couple finds ghost like smears and images on their photographs

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2018
6.5

Fine, but too formulaic to become really scary or noteworthy

Good idea to base a horror story around these ghostly images, and the actors, the Japan setting and general quality seem up to par. It just feels like it came too late, for we can now sort of guess how these stories unfold, including some lame jump scares I wish it would have risen above.
6.5

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
6.5

Tries everything except being scary or exciting

Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.
6.5

Extracted

A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
6.5

Great idea, somewhat dull

A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.
6.5

Lovely, Deep and Dark

A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
6.5

Another good idea without a strong script to carry it

The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.
6.5

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension

It's about ghostly activity all caught on camera

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2018
6.5

Fresh in the wrong place

They invoke some more obvious, frequent and in your face material, which I can understand was necessary to breath some live into the formula. But the slow, nail biting chance of maybe catching a glimpse kind of was the point. So now it starts to er towards a regular horror glued by jumpscares.
6.5

Knock at the Cabin

A family in a cabin gets visited by four people who demand something unimaginable in order to prevent something even more unimaginable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Entertaining but ultimaltey unsatisfying mystery

Sure enough, the story made curious and entertained. But I was not blown away. I guess some of the actor are a bit meh (not Bautista though!), the super conveniently timed TV broadcast were lame, and I guess I missed a twist of some kind. Part of me thinks the twist was that there was none.
6.5

Dragon's Dogma

When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
6.5

A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great

The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.
6.5

In the Earth

Two scientists go deep into the woods to find a lost colleague, where they face mystical natural phenomena

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2023
6.5

Could have used some more focus and excitement

I like it when things get sciency, and it goes well with natural presentation and some slow burning. But in this case, it can be a little too dull, and the story lacked a focus. It felt like it invented itself as it went on.
6.5

Dark skies

Family is being visited by aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
6.5

Greys don't have much to say

Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.
6.5

The Equalizer

Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2015
6.5

Old fashioned (in a bad way)

A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.
6.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

Colossal

A woman finds that, at certain locations and moments, she is the monster invading Korea. That's right folks.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2017
6.5

Great idea with little energy in it

The mad story is a joy and pleasantly stubborn. Execution and actors were fine, there just was something very low-energy about it all, that prevented it from becoming as great as the idea itself. The biggest surprise for me was actually the intense acting displayed by Jason Sudeikis.
6.5

The Deep House

Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
6.5

Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals

This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.
6.5

Avengers: Infinity War

All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
6.5

What a mash

In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.
6.5

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

Stalingrad

In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
6.5

Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat

A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.
6.5

Ip Man

The (true?) story of a Kung Fu master who stood up against the Japanese during ww2.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
6.5

Good and bad things from China

It's not always an easy watch because of that painful Chinese overacting and slapstick performances that make it feel like a farce. But as the war begins, the colors fade and gradually it strikes a more serious and interesting tone, and the elaborate superfast kung fu keeps it afloat.
6.5

Black Sea

Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
6.5

Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow

With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.
6.5

Sinister 2

Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
6.5

The movies in this movie are better than the movie

The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.
6.5

The Darkest Hour

Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
6.5

A floating light can only be so scary

The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.
6.5

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Working class kid is selected to for secret agent training, just in time to prevent a major world threat

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2015
6.5

A weird mess with some ok action

Maybe if I had known beforehand about this a messy mix of blood spills, James Bond cliches, an annoying teenager with a cap on and a ridiculous story, I would have felt the vibe and enjoyed this more. But since I had not, I was clueless about what this was supposed to be.
6.5

47 Meters Down

Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2018
6.5

Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)

The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.
6.5

Dracula Untold

Vlad needs extra powers to save his town and people, so he drinks the blood from a dark figure and becomes a vampire.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2015
6.5

Nothing really good, nothing really bad

I can appreciate how it doesn't overdo things, but at the same time it doesn't excel in anything either. It's all a bit flat and muffled. And you know, maybe vampires are not that scary or impressive anymore.
6.5

The Colony

Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
6.5

Frozen B-movie

The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.
6.5

Adrift

Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019
6.5

Ruined by constant flashbacks

For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.
6.5

Nocebo

A woman gets sick after being biten by a tick, so she seeks help from her Filipina household who uses folklore on her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Fair enough, but lacks intensity

It's a decent movie with a twist that, even though you can see it coming, gives it some depth. It's just that it never becomes really scary or intense. It remains a bit lightweight.
6.5

Mulholland Drive

Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
6.5

Should have triggered me, but didn't

The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.
6.5

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexandes wishes that for once his family could experience the awful bad luck has usually has during the day

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2015
6.5

A bit too constrained

I expected some more anarchy and mayhem with a title like that. Now it is a funny but rather tame and polite comedy with too few standout jokes and all kinds of morals and lessons to boot.
6.5

In the Tall Grass

Pursuing cries for help, a brother and sister get lost in a field of tall grass - where weird stuff is going

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2019
6.5

Lacks the quality to make it last

It's an interesting idea, but would require a clever story and/or great actors to make it work for the entire duration of a movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have neither, so after a while and starts to loose appeal. Bonus points for trying though.
6.5

The Rain, season 1

Girl and her brother try to survive in a world destoyed by deadly rain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2023
6.5

Mostly ok, but too familiar, too annoying

There was something overly familiar about the concept of these abandoned city's and rivaling factions. On top of that, most characters and their actions annoyed too much to really get into the first few episodes. Halfway through it kind of happened, only to be let down again by a lackluster finale.
6.5

The Zero Theorem

Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-10-2014
6.5

Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement

The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.
6.5

Hotel transylvania 2

Will the halfbreed vampire child have vampire abilites? Turmoil in the monster hotel.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-12-2015
6.5

Like a an amusementpark ride

A very animated, lively fun movie that is cramped with jokes. So much so I thought it was exhaustive and it felt as though the bombardment of jokes was camouflaging the absence of a strong story or characters to bind with. Fun - but instantly forgettable.
6.5

Advantageous

Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
6.5

Different, interesting but very slow

A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.
6.5

Barbarouse Mexico

Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
6.5

Gritty but pointless

The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.
6.5

Finch

Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
6.5

A nice tale that had slightly more potential

It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.
6.5

The Cloverfield Paradox

A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
6.5

Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.

An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?
6.5

San Andreas

Dad needs to search and rescue his ex-wife and then his daughter in the aftermath of huge earthquake

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-02-2016
6.5

Too Hollywood

A technically sound, mostly good looking disaster flick, served with the typical cardboard characters, an omnipotent superhero, drenched in a sauce of Hollywood cliches. It ends with them staring across the sunset with an American flag waving nearby. yay!
6.5

Like Father

When her groom walks out just before the wedding, the bride ends up drunk and taking her long lost dad on the honeymoon trip

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
6.5

Nothing stands out

It's got the actors, humor, story line and locations, but all in very restrained, save and average portions, making this a rather average affair. Not bad, but could have used some more spices for my taste.
6.5

Tombraider

Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
6.5

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good

It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.
6.5

Cidade Invisível

After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
6.5

A bit plain

The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.
6.5

Kong: Skull Island

Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
6.5

It's all there but...

Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.
6.5

The Taking of Deborah Logan

Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
6.5

Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary

This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.
6.5

Bright

Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
6.5

A not entirely succesfull mixture

It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.
6.5

Rampage

Retired military man running a gorilla shelter, must save the city form mutated monster animals.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
6.5

Fine for what it is

Based a a videogame with no story to speak of, this movie came it surprisingly well (as in: this could have been much much worse). It's a mindless but fun action blockbuster like most Dwayne Johnson movies, and it works well enough as long as your expectations are realistic.
6.5

Casshern

In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
6.5

A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it

With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.
6.5

Archive 18

Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
6.5

Not quite

It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.
6.5

Oculus

Brother and sister try to get even with a mysticial mirror that causes supernatural drama and terror in their childhood

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
6.5

Some scares, a lot of annoyances

They sure know how to do good scares, and there's some nice ideas for the story framework as well. But the present-past alternations gets tiresome quickly, and I was totally put off by the analytical, cold and utterly unconvincing attitude and going-about of the (present day) sister.
6.5

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