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Dos

Man and woman wake up in a strange hotelroom, with their belly's sewn together

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
6.5

Tasteful, but ultimately doesn't make the impression it could

Despite the horrible premise, it stays away from torture porn or excessive gore, focusing instead of the story and mystery of how this came to be. It certainly kept me keen to find out, but performances, the story or big reveal all were a bit mellow to me, leaving me slightly underwhelmed.
6.5

Rogue

A group of tourists is terrorized by a huge croc in the Australian outback

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-10-2019
6.5

zap resistant

It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it was component enough to keep us watching as we unintentionally zapped into this. It successfully stays away from trying to be campy or deliberately bad, even if the source material could make it tempting to do so.
6.5

No Hard Feelings

A girl gets a car - if she dates an undatable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
6.5

Another fine romcom with not much else

It's good for a few laughs and some well dosed emotional depth. But that, unfortunately, seems to be the review I end up writing every freaking 'romcom' out there. I wish it would have found away to rise above this.
6.5

Good Kill

Pilot of unmaned drones is not happy with it's job

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
6.5

unfocused and over-edited

I was getting tired quickly of the whining that killing terrorists with a drone apparently isn't exciting enough for these people, and confused because then they start crying because the suddenly have moral conflict with it. Then there's the stiff dialogue and suspiciously insubordinate procedures.
6.5

The Eye (2008)

After an eye transplant, a woman starts seeing strange and unsettling things

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2013
6.5

Sits a bit too comfortably in contemporary horror

Some okay moments and ideas can't hide the fact that we are getting getting used to this new japanese style horror thing.
6.5

Passengers

On a hightech spaceship carrying 5000 cryosleeping persons to a new earth, one of them wakes up 90 years too early

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-04-2017
6.5

A flawed love story

If found the idea more interesting than execution, which suffers from rather flat, over-directed characters trying to deliver what is eventually a love story in space. The tech/thrills near the end felt rushed and lazy.
6.5

Monsters of Man

Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-07-2021
6.5

A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones

Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.
6.5

The Mountain Between Us

Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
6.5

Yeh sort of works

Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.
6.5

Older Gods

A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
6.5

A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight

These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.
6.5

Cosmopolis

During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
6.5

Mindbending by chit chat

I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.
6.5

Velvett Buzzsaw

A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Too sterile to make me care

I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.
6.5

The Lost City

Author of classic adventure romans novels suddenly get involved in a real, treasure-finding adventure - with her cocktaildress still on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
6.5

Good fun, but not great

The combination of slapstick humor and classic Indy mystery and adventures still works for me. But the movie seems self aware of it's simple goals, making it a bit lazy. The jokes are a bit insecure and over the top, the adventure a bit anti climactic, the romance not really tangible.
6.5

Cabin in the Woods

Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
6.5

Good idea with not much else going for it

Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.
6.5

Independence Day: Resurgence

Mankind has had a major tech and weapons upgrade, but will it be enough to counter a second alien invasion?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-07-2016
6.5

Leave brain at home

I guess it rightfully is the brainless over-the-top popcorn scifi movie it needs to be, so that it doesn't need to make excuses for being shallow, stupid and hardly exiting. Fun, but ultimately I find these movies less and less satisfying. Couple of days later, I have already forgotten most of it.
6.5

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
6.5

Stunning and tiresome

There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.
6.5

Bokeh

Two lovers on a vaction in Iceland one day wake up to find they're all alone

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-12-2017
6.5

Sympathetic and pretty, but runs out of fuel

Starts of fine with beautiful shots of Iceland, moody music, sympathetic actors and by keeping everything small and intimate. But gradually, the 'pretty scenes with music' start to feel like pointless fillers, and I think it tried to say something religious but I am not sure what.
6.5

Machete Kills

Even the government needs Machete

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
6.5

Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.

I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.
6.5

The Void

Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
6.5

Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless

A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.
6.5

Sand Castle

Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
6.5

it's got the stuff but not the story

They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.
6.5

Black Snake Moan

When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
6.5

I saw through it

Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.
6.5

The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)

Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
6.5

Too much mysteries

Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".
6.5

Escape Plan

A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
6.5

Too cliched to be great

The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.
6.5

Videodrome

In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
6.5

A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on

It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.
6.5

Calvaire

A man seek shelter at a French auberge, which turns horrific when the owner strats to claim him as if he were someone else.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-07-2023
6.5

Nasty, but not in a good way

There's potential here for quiet a nasty, slowly consuming horror/thriller - you might even say it is one. But for me personally, I found the protagonist too stiff, everything a bit filthy and weird so it was hard to feel involved or empathize about it.
6.5

Creepozoids

A group of deserted soldiers (?) in a post nucelar world hide in a lab, but there even bigger dangers await

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-04-2024
6.5

A bad movie the way I like 'em

Poor effects, attacking rat puppets that move only because the actors handles them, a nonsensical story, unnecessary nudity and people running through the same hallways over and over. And that's just for starters. But it's all quite quirky and amusing.
6.5

Camera Obscura

Predictive murders show up on a depressed man's vintage camera. How far will he go to prevent them?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-01-2018
6.5

Good idea delivered somewhat plainly

It's got a great story and almost reels in that 'low budget doesn't matter when you have good ideas and actors' vibe. But I found it lacking that extra touch and sharpness. It ends up somewhat tame and slow. Some of the horrific scenes somehow left me cold.
6.5

Bait

After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
6.5

Amazingly ok

Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!
6.5

Cryptozoo

Animation about a zoo housing cryptoid creatures, bad people that want them dead and good people trying ot protect them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Great for it's uniqeness, but utlimately a flawed trip

I wanted to like this more, with it's bold ideas, pleasantly strange story and willful drawings. I can see how people describe it as beautiful, but I could also make the case that it can look pretty crude an amateuristic at times. Everyone also seems a bit high and slow, making me sleepy eyed.
6.5

Dumb and Dumber To

They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
6.5

Below par

It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.
6.5

The Mandalorain, season 3

Mando and friends try to reclaim and reinhabit their homeworld

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2023
6.5

Kind of done with this, but very pretty nonetheless

I am done with the dumb-ass, endlessly repeated creed, the preposterous helmet policy (yet still they celebrate with diner?), and once you have mini Mandalorians with mini mando-helmets you're killing lore. And yet, this series still excels at showing many Starwars elements in all of their glory.
6.5

Possum

A man tries to get rid of a horrendous puppet

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2023
6.5

A respectable but not entirely succesful oddity

An oddball, slightly experimental film that is pretty close to being fascinatingly disturbing. However, for that it needed more truly intense moments, perhaps some more depth in the story, and perhaps most importantly: a bit more speed, as it sometimes almost comes to a standstill.
6.5

A.I. Rising

For a long journey, a cosmonaut will be accompanied by a female android engineered to his taste

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
6.5

ok, but would have benefited greatly from better writing

With just a some fairly modest modifications in the dialogue and story line, such as more profound elements of philosophy, existentialism, psychology and perhaps some horror, this would have been great. As it stands though, it still is a decent sci-fi tale.
6.5

The Green Inferno

Student activists go protest in the jungle to save the habitat of the local natives, but end up being eaten by them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-04-2018
6.5

Eat those annoying actors

The cannibalism and slaughter should please those who like this sort of thing, and the live of the tribe - while not eating - even seemed sort of respectful and authentic. The movie is held back by really annoying characters delivering lots of poorly acted lines.
6.5

Clara

Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-07-2019
6.5

An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda

The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.
6.5

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

During the familty vacation to Florida, the kid accidently ends up alone in New York - as do his nemesis crooks

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-12-2021
6.5

Faithfully more of the same

I'd say it successfully manages retain the same atmosphere, jokes and story line as the original. So if you are in need of more of the same slapstick humor, and warm family friendly Christmas vibes, this will do.
6.5

Poltergeist (2015)

Family moves into a house in which a ghost goes after the little girl

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2016
6.5

A but uninspired

Right from the start it quite mundanely runs by -=scary scenes=-. Then the science team moves in, after which the scares are pretty much gone. The boy's trick of constantly turning his head toward a scary event VERY SLOWLY was also getting on my nerves. DeWitt rose above it all.
6.5

May December

An actress parts up closely with the woman she is going to portay in her next movie, and with her secrets

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2024
6.5

Great acting and built-up leading to nothing

A movie filled with a solid cast that are a pleasure to watch, and a story that has the sensation of slowly building up to a climax of some sort. But I don't think it did. Instead it left me with a feeling of being cheated, and wondering what I had been watching.
6.5

Skyline

Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
6.5

Good looking B movie

An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?
6.5

Warcraft

A fantasyworld at peace is suddenly invaded by violent beasts coming through a portal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2016
6.5

Surprisingly mature, but still a slightly distant game world

Pleasantly surprised by the quality of the characters, looks and various memorable scenes, and the way that things have a mature quality to them.. But you still may feel like you're thrown in a world you do not know, making it hard to connect with it, or be immersed by it.
6.5

Orbita 9

Woman on a long solo space mission gets a visit from a mechanic, after which she learns the true nature of her mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2021
6.5

Nice scifi with a twist. One twist - early on.

With a plotline that it's impossible to describe accurately without ruining it, this is a pleasant scifi done just fine. It's just that, after the big twist it's, sort of de-energizes a few notches. When the big reveal is almost at the beginning, it's harder to keep us hooked.
6.5

Paradise

In a future where people can sell years of their live for money, allowing the rich to get younger, a couple gets caught in a web

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2024
6.5

A fair but plain future crime story

A fine futuristic crime story providing adequate friday-evening entertainment. I did find everything was a bit plain, lacking energy or a really tight script. It needs a better, less generic title too.
6.5

Chappie

Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
average 6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
6

Nice robot, crappy story

Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-03-2015
7

A bitter sweet 7

As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.
7

Rambo Last Blood

Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
6.5

Not the right rambo movie for me

I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.
6.5

Pompeii

Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
6.5

Fine, but not all it could have been

Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.
6.5

Swiss Army Man

A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
6.5

Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts

I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.
6.5

Asteroid City

A small desert town with wandering souls gets a visit from space

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-07-2023
6.5

Objectively great, subjectively empty

I'd be happy to applaud the artistic value, the conspicuous characters, the fantastic colors and the bold cinematography. But ultimately, I could not process it. I could only stare at it, telling myself to enjoy it's objective quality and audacity, yet feeling quite uninvolved and untouched.
6.5

Sex Tape

Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
6.5

Little more than it's own tagline

Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.
6.5

High Life

Survivor on a spaceship tries to take care of a babygirl. Slowly we learn what preceded this situation, and what comes after.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-04-2022
6.5

ok as a slowburning, artistic scifi, but hardy delivers a payoff

The decor hardly reminded me of a spaceship, but I presume the creators thought this was irrelevant to the sophisticated story they wanted to tell. And while I was interested and enjoyed this 'alternative' scifi, it was also arrogantly slow and even the word pretentious came to mind.
6.5

Peppermint

When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2019
6.5

Exchanging the sexes isn't enough

This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.
6.5

The Lazarus Effect

After succesfully bringing a dog back to live, an accident brings the science team to try the trick on one of their own

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2016
6.5

Unremarkable horror despite some good ideas

A promising idea and start can't help this movie from soon ending up with rather cliche and predictable scares and a lack of focus. The science 'team' is also an unconvincing bunch of Hollywood stereotypes.
6.5

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