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Deep Fear
A sailor rescues two shiprecked people, which leads into an ordeal of crime and shark invested waters
Wittenberg
24-03-2024
Another crap shark movie
When the lead is a pumped up bimbo with spot-on make-up even after two deepdives, shot in numerous preposterous shots to show her curves, a movie is pretty much lost. Add crappy acting and a poor script and a becomes hopeless. Two shark attack scenes were surprisingly ok compared to the rest of it.Somnus
The crew of a spaceship are in danger when the board computer turns rogue
Wittenberg
28-12-2017
Slow and bad looking
The atmosphere and some of the interior design were promising. But soon it dwells into endless, static conversations, misguided and pointless scenery (what were those jellyfish? What's with the train?) and increasingly worse visuals. With that creature on asteroid-city, they seemed to have given up.Halo: Nightfall
A new type of enemy weapon emerges, so brave soldiers must go back to the Halo to resolve it. I think.
Wittenberg
09-11-2015
Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story
Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.Tabernacle 101
Dude dies and revives to prove there is no afterlife. Dark consequences result.
Wittenberg
10-07-2023
Maximum amateurism
I don't mind the similar story to Flatliners; it's an exciting concept there deserves be explored further, and is something that could work fine for a movie with little resources. Unfortunately, this is amateuristic to the core.God's Not Dead
Christian student is forced to prove the existence of God by one of those malicious atheist philosophy teachers. There's also substories of other idiots (like cancer patients and muslims) finding God
Wittenberg
14-08-2016
but this movie is
I was sort of hoping for some passionate debate with interesting arguments from both sides, but that came out underdeveloped and sloppy, smothered in the cringe worthy side stories, performances and bizarre depiction of atheists. Thank God all heretics died.Alien Space Battle
Spacemission to rescue a victim from a Mars mining accident gets involved in a alien threat to all mankind
Wittenberg
05-04-2023
Cute, sympathetic even, but not good.
Apart from the fantastic title and some passable CGI here and there, I could not find anything to recommend about it. The subpar actors continuously having to deliver anxious spacecombat jargon really got on my nerves. Also known as "Attack on Titan", but that won't save it.Seance: the Summoning
Some teens comfortably go into a morgue to summon spirits between corpses, then seem frustrated if things getting scary indeed
Wittenberg
15-04-2018
Not even God can save this movie
A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.Alien Warfare
Specialforces team is scrambled to investigate what happened to some lab. (it was aliens!)
Wittenberg
30-08-2021
Almost abysmal
There is something about it that keeps it from being completely abysmal. Perhaps the borderline passable actors, the almost successful attempts at jokes, some slightly interesting moments, some semi ok action. But make no mistake, this is a pretty crappy movie. Those alien suits, gees.Air Strike a.k.a. The Bombing
In a chinese village under constant bombardment from the Japanese, a Chinese pilot is sent on a ground mission to transport a valuable cargo.
Wittenberg
30-11-2018
A tiresome mess
So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.The Internship
With no relevant skills, two sacked salesmen enlist for an internship at Google.
Wittenberg
02-02-2014
404 humor not found
Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.Project Gemini
Spaceship sets out to find a solution for a dying earth, but winds up in an uknown location in space. Where evil lurks.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Not a catastrophy, but pretty bad
A very vague, sleep-inducing, poorly written scifi with some abhorrent dialogue made worse by the poor voice overs I got with it. At the very end there are some relatively interesting, slightly rewarding plot points, and I give an extra point for some fancy CGI/space scenes.400 Days
4 people spent 400 days in a mockup spaceship to test the effects of long term space travel. Will they keep their sanity... and what's going on outside?
Wittenberg
24-09-2016
Annoying
Right from the beginning I was incredibly annoyed by this. Everything and everyone is so phony, cheesy, unrealistic and slow. There's a pale spark of excitement in the whole 'what's happening' mystery, but I wonder if even the writers really knew.Jurassic World: Dominion
People need to infiltrate a base from an evil corporation to save the world from a mutant locus plague.
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
Failed on many levels, mainly dinosaurs
It feels weird giving such a high-profile, high-effort movie such a low rating, but when I feel exhausted and glad it was over, I have no other choice. Too many uninteresting storylines, failed humor, no soul, no chemistry and worst of all: tiresome dinosaurs that are essentially fillers.Doctor Sleep
Now an adult, the boy from The Shining has managed to take control of his ghosts when he sets out to help another gifted girl
Wittenberg
09-08-2020
Sacrilege yourself
Well this sequel seemed like an unholy idea to begin with, but since apparently King himself wrote it I was hopeful. Alas, it really is a sacrilege that fails to become scary, stuff they bring back from the Shining instantly looses it's appeal and the sucking of 'scare smoke' was just so childish.The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The winners from the previous games are used to suppress rebellion or something
Wittenberg
09-03-2014
Pretentious, boring and annoying
I found it impossible to care about this world or any of the lifeless flat characters inhabiting it. I didn't understand what they were doing or what was driving them, and was annoyed and bored out of my mind. One of the rare movies I switched off - so I guess you could say I liked Sharknado better.The Starving Games
A parody of guess which movie
Wittenberg
21-08-2015
A turkey of the second kind
A rather dumb and unfunny fest of bad jokes, though some might still accidentally trigger a slight smile now and then. Not the worst of bad parodies.Zodiac: Signs of the Apocalypse
Historian and son find a pattern in world disasters pointing to the end of the world, and set out to stop that from happening
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
ehmmmmm.....Yup, it's a B-movie
For a while I thought it had a change of becoming at least a reasonable B-movie, but then it quickly sank into the usual mandatory B-movie swamp - like endless car driving and non-stop action music, no matter what's on the screen.Cycle
Astronaut (?) wakes up in a place and needs to find a way out before a fog runs over it.
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Fascinating AND yawn inducing
This could have been a bomb, with it's absolutely unconventional and puzzling story, trippy scenery and remarkable animation that I took for real footage. Unfortunately, many scenes and conversations are way too long, vague and boring, and without a clue on what's going I had to fight to stay awake.Better Than Us
In the future, a precious humanoid robot escapes and finds shelter in a family with their own problems
Wittenberg
07-01-2024
No drive
I probably shouldn't be reviewing this as I stopped after 3 episodes, but here i am. The core idea is decent enough, but there's absolutely no energy in the story or the way it was told. Cold and bland, the thought of watching 13 more terrified me. Perhaps the absence of music was part of it.The Rebels of PT-218
During ww2, a cargoship is performs a heroic attack on canons on the shoresline
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Unsuccesful attempt to make a warmovie with little resources
If you have no budget, should you make a movie about something complicated as naval combat? While some scenes actually get by, the constant black or white surroundings are suspicious. What's more: the movie is not about a PT-218 (torpedo boat) at all, and everything else is a bit meh too.The Holly Kane Experiment
Scientist is working on a therapy involving mind alterations, but shady people start to approach her. Who can she trust?
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
You don't fool me
This movie likes to think it is deep and intelligent, but instead is tedious and shallow. The science is vague and pointless, and why is everybody constantly dining out?Project Ithica
A group of people random people find themselves strapped and arranged in a circle .... inside a spaceship?
Wittenberg
24-05-2020
Gets tired quickly
Watching these annoying, unsympathetic, sweaty people moaning and screaming in turns gets tiring very quickly. There is hardly any any point to any of it.Death Valley
Contractors are hired to rescue a scientist from a secret lab in a forest where horrible alien experiments took place
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
Uninspired and stolen
A drab and shameless collage of stuff we have seen a million times before, delivered by subpar actors doing annoying characters.The Nun II
It's the Nun II
Wittenberg
22-12-2023
Good looking borefest with no story
Much like it's predecessor, there is no shortage of very moody and nicely lit scenes. Also like it's predecessor, there is a serious lack of a story to drive it along, instead it features just people moving extremely slowly from one jumpscare to the next. Remarkably boring.The Last Witch Hunter
Cursed to live forever, a witch hunter is faced with his old nemesis again in the present times
Wittenberg
08-01-2017
Boring and superficial
The miscasted Diesel lacks the character and cannot show the burden of centuries of witch slaying. Also, the stories, conversations and even the action scenes are yawn-inducing. None if it flows well.The Machine
Scientist attempts to cure his daughter by hacking a government project for revitalising brainddead soldiers, but builts a new kind of robot in the progress. Sort of
Wittenberg
23-03-2015
Too boring, too B
While it manages to squeeze out a couple of moody scenes, it is mostly a very slow, quite boring movie that keeps relying on the same tricks and scenes over and over again. I also thought the robot's behavior was how a five year old would portray one.The Witcher season 3
Everyone is still after Ciri, who's powers are growing stronger
Wittenberg
12-08-2023
Dull
This time there's even more walking and talking and standing and talking with stiff, over-edited dialogues, framed like a soap opera. The scarce action scenes are short and uninspired, the beloved characters become one-dimensional and the whole thing is just remarkably, and unforgivably, boring.Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Unbearably loud
That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.Kickboxer: retaliation
Once again an underdog partipates in a fighting match to take on the evil champion
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
You may skip this
I'll admit that I didn't see it in it's entirety, but I am pretty sure what this is: A dorky cardboard white hero doing bizarre over the top fighting, his pretty girlfriend looking worried in the sidelines, and some painfully awkward appearances of Van Damme and Lambert.Andor
Basically the backstory of one of Starwars' rebel hero's
Wittenberg
11-12-2022
Slower and more wordy than Bold of of the Beautifull
Yes, I liked the ground based, real person, non-jedi approach too. A shoutout to the wonderful future retro design. Other than that, I am lost why this is praised so highly. I found it agonizingly boring, empty and slow, like the god awful and pointless prison episodes and discussions about banking.Alien Outpost aka Outpost 37
Mockumentary of soldiers in some outpost fighting aliens
Wittenberg
25-05-2015
Badly done scifi
A confusing, unexciting and poorly done movie with bland characters. It is slow, uninteresting and misfires with really phoney 'interviews' in between. The whole documentary approach can't save it.Assasins Creed
Some guy from a line of medieval assissins takes trips back in time with some machine to find some magic apple
Wittenberg
02-05-2017
Stupid and liveless
I guess the effort is there, but what a bummer. The whole time travel thing was unnecessary, incomprehensible and preposterous. Why didn't they just cook up a story situated in the past? Also, icecold characters throughout, cheesy and dumb lines and too much footage of people gazing in the distance.Catwoman
Girl murdered, then ressurects with cat powers. Revenge.
Wittenberg
04-06-2014
Maybe girls like it
The problem is that they made this into some sort of girl movie, with girlpowermusic, a love interest with a Ken, an evil beauty make-up corporation and a bouncy and goofy main character. Worse: they managed a half-naked woman walking around in leather to be completely non-sensual.Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars
It's not just bugs that run over Mars, but an evil politician tries to destroy the entire planet - inhabitants included. Troopers to the rescue.
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
Ruined by the characters
Some of it looks dated, some of it looks quite good, some action scenes I liked. But it's all in vain, because of the ultra cheesy, cringe worthy characters that make it feel like a Powerrangers episode... but not in a good, satirical way like the original managed to pull of.The Outwaters
Found footage of 4 friends who went into the desert and encountered various hardships
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
found random nonsense
First there's the usual get to know the annoying characters, then for a moment it's slightly interesting, only to then plummet into a mess of unclear, pointless, loud, endless and absolutely RANDOM events thrown at you because noone knew what this was about.Horsehead
A young woman is plagued with nightmares, and tries to master lucid dreaming to figure it out
Wittenberg
15-02-2024
A failure
Somewhere in the distance there may be some good intentions, but ultimately this is a failure due to amateuristic direction. It results in loads of random pointless stuff happening for way too long, a lack of a clear story or focus, and not understanding of what makes movies scary.Transformers: Age of Extinction
The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
near torture
This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.Wolf Hound
Vaguely about germans capturing WWII alied aircraft to attack undetected, but mostly it's just a war action movie
Wittenberg
26-10-2022
Made by an adept aerial cinematographer and a clown
This features some neat, razor sharp footage of authentic aircraft and even some impressive parachute scenes. But once everyone is back on the ground, it reveals it's true form: a ridiculous, old fashioned action movie with silly overacted characters, terrible lines and explosions everywhere.The Moon
An ill-fated Korean moon mission turns into a rescue mission
Wittenberg
30-12-2023
Looks okay, afwul kitch movie
Space rescue can be quite exciting, and this one looks snappy for sure. Unfortunately, it's filled with plastic characters, overacting and turns into a sludge of melodramatic kitsch with tears over piano music.The Book of Boba Fett
Boba is now a mayor
Wittenberg
10-09-2022
As if the plot wasn't bad enough
I just don't get it. You take the iconic Boba and turn him into a mayor, running the town as a good guy? Who asked for this? The series are also painfully slow, have awful action scenes, feel like an unfunny children show and made us glad it was over. Fail.V/H/S: Viral
A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
Messy
I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.Hellraiser 2022
A puzzlebox summons hellish bringers of torture and death
Wittenberg
20-11-2022
Yawning at cenobites
Despite the powerful images and lore it could built upon, this turned out incredibly bland, uninspired and boring. There is no tension curve, no interesting story, no likable characters and it's not scary at all. The quasi deep mumbling of the cenobites made me go 'whatever' and then fall asleep.The Offering (aka Abyzou)
Man secretely wanting to sell his fathers funeral home, has to deal with cleansing it from evil first
Wittenberg
01-07-2023
Waisted
Despite one of the scariest locations I know (morgues), tastefully lit scenery and a promise of creepy Orthodox Jewish reli-horror, this movie was unable to craft it into something scary or interesting. Instead, it has only really, really tiresome loud-noise jumpscares to offer.Gantz
Anime series about people who get to hunt monsters (aliens?) after they have been killed in an accident
Wittenberg
19-01-2020
I gave up
I thought I'd give this a try since I quite liked the digital movie 'Gantz:O' that was based on this. I tried to persevere, but just couldn't finish this due to it's slow nature and endless waves of atrociously bad and bizarre acting and dialogues - between and even during the monster fights.Rings
More people watch the cursed video
Wittenberg
08-10-2017
Lazy
What a terrible, lazy sequel compared to the terrifying original. Half of it is a rehash of the original and the other half a contrived attempt to make sense of sequel in the first place. Cheap jumpscares, generic adolescent actors and even the music sounds uninspired.Warning
A bunch of (related?) stories, with perhaps future technology and mankind as a central theme
Wittenberg
28-11-2021
Vague unrewarding stories
Incomprehensible at first, I got some ease of mind when I realized it's just some vague ideas and separate stories glued together in a movie. In itself still a feasible concept, but in here it was just a bit pointless and directionless, without any payoff.Ender's Game
A youngster is the chosen one to be trained as spacefleet admiral and repell alien threat
Wittenberg
24-07-2014
Kids in space
These kids are trained for space command by having them play a pointless Harry Potter floating game! This unwatchable movie is full of such nasty face palm moments, burying the sharp looking visuals deep beneath the surface. "He has a complicated response to authority" - who talks like that?Magellan
Astronaut on a lone mission to investigate signals suddenly coming from various locations in our solar system
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
Unable to compensate for the little resources it had
An irresistible story and some of the space graphics are not too bad. But they contrast starkly with the amateuristic 'interior' of the spaceship, and the bizarre procedures of the space flight and handling of possible alien artifacts (plastic bag?). I also missed a point or clue to any of it.Capsule
Astronaut depens heavily on radiohelp from earth to get his faulty capsule to return home
Wittenberg
06-11-2016
A lot more was required to make it this bold idea work
A bold mov(i)e which almost exclusively shows the astronaut strapped in his seat. But the amateuristic, jumpy astronaut, the repetitious dialogues and unconvincing procedures are way insufficient to make it work. There's a twist at the end, but if you made it that far you'll probably no longer care.Goof dbase new movie
summary
Wittenberg
16-09-2018
I want my site back
i really doMovies found: 1030 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 31 - 80
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