BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Zoolander 2
Derek has retreated and gone out of fashion, but must come back into action to save his son
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
Not up to their potential
I dig the whacky Zoolander world and humor, but unfortunately this story was too formulaic and good jokes too scarce.Star Trek Beyond
A brute force enemy causes the Enterprise to crashland. The survivors must find away to release the hostages and prevent further mayhem
Wittenberg
24-04-2017
Awkward and off
The scenes of destruction are mighty, but overall this really felt off. They totally overdid the constant humor which started to feel like slapstick. The story and events also felt awkward and cheesy like the original series, with embarrassing scenes like driving around a motorbike to divert aliensThe Accountant
Autistic man has a special talent for accounting, and appearantly for some darker activities as well
Wittenberg
02-01-2019
Too far-fetched
This didn't really connect with me. The story is way too far-fetched, made-up and over the top to be taken seriously, and it dwells in the tiresome notion that autistic people must have superpowers.The 9th Company
Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
I think I was supposed to hate the other guys
I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.Couples Retreat
Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
Predictably average
Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.Beyond Skyline
Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
Strange mixture
An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.The Silent Sea
In a water-deprived future, a team flies to the moon to retrieve a mysterious sample from an abondened base that may hold the key to a sollution
Wittenberg
24-01-2022
Some baseline enterntainment but full of problems
As a scifi fan I could get some enjoyment out of this, but it wasn't easy. We have another unlikely crew handling everything rather unprofessionally, the dialogue has oodles of 'naaaah' moments, the story felt broken and actress Doona sucks the life out of it with her apathetic and depressing style.Lazer Team
A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Fun concept exectued unremarkably
Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.Noise
When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge
Wittenberg
22-03-2023
ok but lots of loose ends
Although we liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and decent characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.Curvature
A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
Too flawed to make the story come alive
I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.Extraterrestial
Adolescents camping in the woods find themselves amongst aliens
Wittenberg
12-09-2015
Manages to be ok
It's the same old adolescents , going to the same old cabin in the woods with the same old aliens. But there's a couple of scenes, moments and even performances in here that keep this movie in the green.Romina
Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
Spoils itself
The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.Phantom
Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
Good intentions drowned in mistakes
Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!V/H/S 2
Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
lacks inspiration
It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.Time Trap
When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere
I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.Pet Semetary (2019)
A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
not scary enough, too little to standout
While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.Terminator: Genisys
The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'
Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.Control
Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
Lacks excitement or ideas
While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.Spectral
Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
Decent ingredients but no cake
This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.The Hangover III
The wolfpack gets involved in crazy mafia adventures yet again, but this time they're sober
Wittenberg
07-02-2016
I felt cheated
The 'what the hell happened last night' joke may have been running out of fuel. But as I watched the half-baked comedy that remained without it, I couldn't help but feel cheated.Make My Day
A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
Poor characters and story
While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.Captive State
An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
Average
Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.Neighbors
Young couple with a baby has a fraternity move in next door. The war begins
Wittenberg
15-03-2015
Watching people having fun wasn't much fun
The lead actors put in a lot of energy and effort into it, but cannot save this mediocre comedy with a shortage of good jokes. The endless fraternity partying and self-contempted mayhem was rather exhausting to me.Sausage Party
Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
Funny idea with too little good jokes
I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Harbinger Down
Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts
Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)Wittenberg
30-12-2014
Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...Wittenberg
15-04-2015
A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.Michiel de Ruyter
The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
Too presumptuous for it's own good
I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.RockmeNow
24-07-2015
A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting
Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).47 Ronin
A bunch of samurai revenging their master
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be
Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.RockmeNow
06-05-2014
Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie
Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....Snatched
When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem
I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.May December
An actress parts up closely with the woman she is going to portay in her next movie, and with her secrets
Wittenberg
26-01-2024
Great acting and built-up leading to nothing
A movie filled with a solid cast that are a pleasure to watch, and a story that has the sensation of slowly building up to a climax of some sort. But I don't think it did. Instead it left me with a feeling of being cheated, and wondering what I had been watching.Split
Three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple identities
Wittenberg
28-05-2017
Multiple Personality Disorder annoys me more than it scares me
Frankly, I was somewhat bored and agitated by the multiple identities, especially the laughable behavior of the supposed 9 year old. Apart from the identities there's wasn't much in there, nor did I find it very particularly scary. It's okay, but underwhelming.Escape Plan
A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
Too cliched to be great
The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.The Deep House
Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals
This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.Maggie
Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie
Wittenberg
26-06-2016
Sympathetic but hollow
I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.Strange World
Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
Bubbly but not engaging
It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.Clara
Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant
Wittenberg
30-07-2019
An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda
The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.Asteroid City
A small desert town with wandering souls gets a visit from space
Wittenberg
16-07-2023
Objectively great, subjectively empty
I'd be happy to applaud the artistic value, the conspicuous characters, the fantastic colors and the bold cinematography. But ultimately, I could not process it. I could only stare at it, telling myself to enjoy it's objective quality and audacity, yet feeling quite uninvolved and untouched.Captain Harlock: Space Pirate
In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
Just enjoy the pretty graphics
Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.Area 51
Armed with camera's , some teens attempt to sneak in area 51 and catch a glimps of what's in there
Wittenberg
13-08-2015
Great idea doesn't quite deliver
A clever idea that could have yielded some scary footage. Unfortunately, the teens in question are bit bland and unsympathetic, their efforts for this stunt are a bit over the top, and once inside it's a bit too messy and rushed to deliver true scares. Should have been toned down a little.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?Megamind
Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain
Wittenberg
01-11-2015
Ok humor space adventure
A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.Rambo Last Blood
Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Not the right rambo movie for me
I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.Mulholland Drive
Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
Should have triggered me, but didn't
The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.The Liberator
A squad comprised out of people from very different backgrounds fighting in the second World War.
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Looks unqiue, but it's not quite there
The half-drawing, half real-life filter make it look unique, and is a great idea for making epic scenes on a lower budget. The action scenes were good, but the dialogue not so much, and it frequently does emotional and sensitive dives which I found a bit forced and cliched.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.Movies found: 1030 | max movies per page: 50 | Showing: 241 - 290
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