Mermaid Down

Mermaid is caught, her tail is cut off, she grows legs and ends up in a asylum with weirdos. Yes.

Wittenberg
09-05-2020

3

A weird failure

Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.

3

The Stairs

Boy and grandpa find stairs in the woods and go missing. Years later, a group of other hikers find them, unaged. And the stairs. And some demon.

Wittenberg
12-09-2021

3

Uninspired and unsuccesful horror

The opening gets by (barely), but the adult hikers are a rather annoying bunch (the metalguy is almost unwatchable) and so are the rather uninteresting and vague events they encounter. It's allover they place, like they just threw in some random horror things to fill it up.

3

Exodus

After the rapture (apparently), a guy tries to find his way to a mysterious door to a better place

Wittenberg
12-09-2021

3

I am sure they mean well. Zzzzz.

It seems the that hardest thing to get right in these low-budget, low-tier movies is keeping the pace and keeping interest. It probably could have been a mysterious, symbolic, thought provoking journey, but it's just agonizingly slow, empty and emotionless journey.

3

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
11-09-2017

3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.

3

Embrión

Attempts to tell a story about (mulitple?) people that went missing or weird after an alien encounter

Wittenberg
09-08-2021

3

A hot mess

My god. A messy, incoherent and incomprehensible mixture of found footage and a 'real' movie , it jumps allover the place to new locations and years (almost with each cut!), pacing is weird and feels made-up as they went along, and I did not understand most of it. Poster art is fake.

3

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