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Khanzab

A girl tries to solve the mystery of her father's violent death, and black magic curse surrounding her family

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
6

Good scares for some scenes, but not an entire movie

I was looking forward to experiencing the Indonesian take on horror. There are some moods and scenes that are quite intense, but they repeated until they loose their effectiveness. The story gets quite messy and the spirits pop in like puppets a haunted house at the fair.
6

Seventh Son

In medieval times, a ghost hunter requires the help of a seventh son (of a seventh son) in order to defeat an escaped witch with evil plans.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2016
6

It's missing factor X

It's all here; bold adventure, dazzling fantasy, witches, dragons, romance, fine effects and music, and amusing performances. But somehow it is all a bit flat, fails to excite or take you along for the ride. Maybe it's exactly this mandatory fantasy mixture that makes it feel formulaic.
6

Hippopotamus

With no memory, a girl awakens in a room with a man telling her she can't leave until she loves him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2023
6

A fair puzzler missing class

Nothing wrong with these low budget movies in a single location, where you'll grow eager to find out how it all came to be. The story is also reasonably well thought out and offers some layers near the end. But I found both the actors and direction missing intensity and depth.
6

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
6

Lacks in too many areas to make it work

The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.
6

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
6

I thought it'd be warmer

The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.
6

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-08-2019
6

Hit and miss. Loads of them.

I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.
6

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

The chipmunks fear that their dad's love interest might lead him to abandon them, so they set out to sabotage the engagement.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2016
6

Ok for kids. An endurancetest for adults.

Sure, it's an uncomplicated fun adventure, kids will get some fun out of it, and let's not forget the effects blending so seamlessly we don't even notice them anymore. But a kids movie equally suitable for adults, this is not.
6

Bloodshot

Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
6

Lacks characters to make it work

With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.
6

Phantom

Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
6

Good intentions drowned in mistakes

Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!
6

Tau

Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
6

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows

While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.
6

Free Fall, The

After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

Ideas were there, movie making skills were not

Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.
6

Mine

After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2017
6

Overreached

A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.
6

3022

The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
6

Just made it

It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.
6

Tomorrow War, The

People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
6

Forgettable and hardly interesting

While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.
6

Great Wall, The

Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
6

A popsicle

It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.
6

Ready Player One

In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
6

Childish and patronizing fan service

I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?
6

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
6

Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem

Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.
6

Titan, The

On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
6

Experiment failed

It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.
6

Hipersomnia

While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
6

Should have been better

Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.
6

Higher Power

A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
6

subpar until it ends

A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!
6

Zombie Lake

Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
6

Be ready for the worst and have a good time

Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.
6

Babylon

The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies

I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.
6

12 Strong

Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
6

Unbelievable

If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.
6

Infinitum: Subject Unknown

In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
6

Quite plain considering the subject

I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.
6

Revolt

During a robot invasion, a commando suffering from memory loss teams up up with a woman in trying to survive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
6

Compotent but underwhelming

I couldn't quite wrap my head around why I was so underwhelmed by this. Action, FX and story seem ok and I like how it was situated in Africa for a change. I fear the bland, slightly uninteresting main characters might have something to do with it.
6

Heavy Metal

Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
6

Not aged well

Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.
6

Hitman: Agent 47

Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
6

Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce

I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"
6

Sharknado

A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
6

Succesfully bad

With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.
6

Occhi Chiusi

A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
6

Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp

With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.
6

Million Ways to Die in the West, A

Out of place cowboy is dumped by his true love, but gets unexpected help to win her back

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-03-2015
6

Why the story?

Come on people! Why didn't they just parody the hell out of western movies in true McFarlane style? An ineffective mix of some brutal and bold humor drowned in an uninteresting and righteous love story.
6

Exists

Them kids in a cabin in the woods are terrorized my Bigfoot. All caught with found footage.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-04-2016
6

Average, quite unoriginal stuff

The more we get to see this creature, the less scary it becomes. And for Christs sake, does it always have to be teenage stoners who experience this stuff? And they brought how many camera's? Sit with the other average found footage horror movies please.
6

Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas

When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
6

An unnecessary movie with no audience

If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.
6

This is the End

Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
6

Mostly self absorbed

The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.
6

Blackhat

In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
6

Nicely shot nonsense

It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.
6

Prey

Some guys just about to finish a hike through the woods, are hunted down by someone with rifle

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
6

Needed more

The scenery is pretty, and the plain, no-nonsense execution gives it some purity. But it's hard to connect with the characters who are also having irrelevant work-related quarrels, and the plot is really a very thin succession of shot-flee-argue over and over. It misses some sort of twist or payoff.
6

There's Something Wrong With the Children

Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
6

Not intense or scary enough

The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.
6

Amazing Spider-Man, The

Man gets spiderpowers and saves the world from lizardman

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-02-2013
6

Pretty whatever for someone amazing

Making wisecrack remarks while flying through the air during a live threatening battle - kind or ruined things for me. Lizardman not scary either.
6

Yakamoz S-245

A group of marine scientists escapes global extinction due to a solarburst, and have to work together with the crew of a military sub to find a new home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2022
6

Loaded with problems, but there's something in there

This series was packed with a lot of problems: one dimensional characters, stalling forever, bizarre behavior and dialogues, and weird decisions throughout - to name but a few. But somehow, the fab color pallet, the music, some scenes and the interesting premise manage to keep it afloat.
6

Beyond Skyline

Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
6

Strange mixture

An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.
6

Zoolander 2

Derek has retreated and gone out of fashion, but must come back into action to save his son

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
6

Not up to their potential

I dig the whacky Zoolander world and humor, but unfortunately this story was too formulaic and good jokes too scarce.
6

Star Trek Beyond

A brute force enemy causes the Enterprise to crashland. The survivors must find away to release the hostages and prevent further mayhem

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-04-2017
6

Awkward and off

The scenes of destruction are mighty, but overall this really felt off. They totally overdid the constant humor which started to feel like slapstick. The story and events also felt awkward and cheesy like the original series, with embarrassing scenes like driving around a motorbike to divert aliens
6

Accountant, The

Autistic man has a special talent for accounting, and appearantly for some darker activities as well

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2019
6

Too far-fetched

This didn't really connect with me. The story is way too far-fetched, made-up and over the top to be taken seriously, and it dwells in the tiresome notion that autistic people must have superpowers.
6

Time Trap

When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
6

Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere

I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.
6

Noise

When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-03-2023
6

ok but lots of loose ends

Although we liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and decent characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.
6

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Demigod kids confront Kronos because their precious summercamp is in jeopardy. No really.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-08-2014
6

I doubt even teenagers will really fall for it

It just - BAM- puts you in this fantasyworld with gods and magic without ever introducing us to anything, without building tension of mystery. There's some charm in the fantasy elements, but mostly it is a childish bunch of whining teenagers. There's also a lack of sea monsters.
6

Annabelle

A doll brings supernatural misery into a young couples' lives

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2014
6

Lacks suprises or innovation

Somewhat scary, but hindered by the plastic main actors and the collection of scares that all are all taken from other movies, making everything seem boringly familiar.
6

Deathgasm

Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2022
6

Go harder

I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.
6

Captive State

An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
6

Average

Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.
6

Pet Semetary (2019)

A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
6

not scary enough, too little to standout

While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.
6

Curvature

A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
6

Too flawed to make the story come alive

I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.
6

Romina

Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
6

Spoils itself

The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.
6

Harbinger Down

Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
6

Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts

Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.
6

Control

Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
6

Lacks excitement or ideas

While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.
6

9th Company, The

Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
6

I think I was supposed to hate the other guys

I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.
6

V/H/S 2

Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
6

lacks inspiration

It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.
6

Make My Day

A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
6

Poor characters and story

While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.
6

Glass

A researcher investigates the credibility and actual superpowers of the superhero's from Unbreakable and Split

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
6

Ultimately a failed attempt to prolong this

The story provides a potentially clever reason to bring these people together and add a twist to the story, but mostly it feels like everybody was dragged in front of the camera again, the "research" was laughable and I still hate MPD - it is so embarrassing to look at, not scary at all.
6

White House Down

Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-10-2013
6

Quality goes down too

Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.
6

Couples Retreat

Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
6

Predictably average

Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.
6

Outside the Wire

After neglecting an order, a drone pilot is send to join a mysterious supersoldier on a dangerous quest

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-01-2021
6

Tries to be something it's not

With military action and gun-toting robots, this ought to has been my thing. But I was quiet disappointed. Mostly because they talk tough and say deep things, but it all falls completely flat. It's just trying too hard to be cool and relevant without following up on it.
6

Spectral

Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
6

Decent ingredients but no cake

This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.
6

Trench 11

Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
6

A bit underwhelming

The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.
6

Witcher season 2, The

The witcher is training the princess he protects, but her powers become more and more concerning

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
6

It's now soap

I still like the Witcher atmosphere, and sure there are some memorable moments to be found. But mostly I found season 2 remarkably tedious and empty. The main culprit is the oddly soapy style of storytelling, with endless conversations between people doing bizarre strolls through hallways.
6

Dark Shadows

Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
6

Surprisingly boring

Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.
6

Sausage Party

Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
6

Funny idea with too little good jokes

I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.
6

Johnny English Strikes Again

A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
6

Funny but lazy

I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.
6

Planes

Planes flying around in the world of Cars (1)
average 6.0

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

What it needs to be

Not much in the way of originality, but adept at telling an effective, colorful and easy to follow story for the target audience.
6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-11-2013
5.5

Planes flying around, that's about it

Ok, so it looks like the world of Cars (1), but with planes in it, which could be entertaining. But actually it is not, since they forgot to write a decent story. Too bad...
5.5

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
6

A rather tired bulge of more Starwars

It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.
6

Encanto

All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
6

Objectively great, subjectively exhausting

With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.
6

6 Underground

Group of very cool hitman people aim to set free a country from an evil dictator

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-04-2020
6

Failed experiment

I was in for it; could an overload of non-stop Micheal Bay signature crap eventually transform into a trance-like satisfying experience? We'll never know, because even he couldn't keep up the initial pace, and let this slide off to a more generic and only somewhat amusing actionflick.
6

Lazer Team

A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
6

Fun concept exectued unremarkably

Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.
6

Wounds

Bartender finds distrubing images on a telephone left by a customer, starts seeing bugs and is chosen for a mysterious cult ritual

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-09-2020
6

Mixed feelings

When slow burning is done wrong, it is just slow. Near the middle it manages to spark some interest, only to loose it again because the writers couldn't figure out how to tie the story elements together. It's pretty ok though, mainly because the performances and created amtosphere.
6

47 Ronin

A bunch of samurai revenging their master
average 6.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
7

Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be

Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.
7

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
06-05-2014
5.5

Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie

Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....
5.5

Da Vinci Code, The

Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
average 6.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
6

I liked the book slightly more

Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2014
6.5

Too far fetched

Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.
6.5

Home

Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
average 6.2

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
6

Just another animated movie

An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...
6

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-04-2015
6.5

A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time

The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.
6.5

Michiel de Ruyter

The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
average 6.2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
6.5

Too presumptuous for it's own good

I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.
6.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
6

A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting

Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).
6

Split

Three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple identities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-05-2017
6.5

Multiple Personality Disorder annoys me more than it scares me

Frankly, I was somewhat bored and agitated by the multiple identities, especially the laughable behavior of the supposed 9 year old. Apart from the identities there's wasn't much in there, nor did I find it very particularly scary. It's okay, but underwhelming.
6.5

Other Side of the Door, The

Devastated by the tragic loss of her son, the woman resorts to an indian supernatural ritual to speak to him one last time - and exectutes it wrongly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2016
6.5

Fair horror

I loved the Indian setting and the story had potential, but ultimately it keeps relying on familiar tricks and I thought everyone was overacting a bit.
6.5

Snatched

When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
6.5

Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem

I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.
6.5

Play Dead

A girl fakes death to get into a morgue, where she needs to retrieve evidence against her brother. But there is unsuspected danger inside.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2023
6.5

Maybe too long and too unlikely, but still a thrilling ride

The premise and story are far-fetched, and I thought the acting lacked finesse. But this still manages to roll out quite an exciting, pretty tense thriller/horror for the most part. Unfortunately it drags on for too long, becomes tiring and even more implausible. Still, enjoyable stuff.
6.5

1899

A ship with migrants find another ship that went missing, and it all gets stranger and stranger from there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
6.5

A potential gem plagued by avoidable problems

This almost is a successful, super mysterious puzzler with an intense atmosphere, but I found it was let down too much by one-trick pony characters that become parodies of themselves, infuriatingly ineffective communication and strange decisions and logic throughout. The events even felt improvised.
6.5

What Happened to Monday?

In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2019
6.5

Gimmicky

While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.
6.5

Consecration, The

A woman travels to a monastry to investigate the mysterious death of her brother

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
6.5

Lacked impact, but ended well

The ending and big reveal near the end are pretty good, but the movie really has trouble getting there. It was a bit unlikely, flat and lifeless, and failed to harvest the creepiness of monasteries and it's rituals. She didn't even react to those nuns lying on the floor, for crying out loud!
6.5

Kill Team, The

A soldier situated in Afghanistan comes into conflict with himself and his squad when they appear do unprovoked assassinations.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
6.5

Wish I felt it more, but adept

I am not sure how realistic this was, and found the sergeant a little too wacky to be credible. But overall the story kept my attention and did a reasonable at depicting the dilemma of loyalty versus morals - although I do think they could have hit harder.
6.5

Troll

A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
6.5

Only the monster is unique

Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.
6.5

BFG, The

Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
6.5

Lovingly made but not immersing

I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.
6.5

Doors

Four individual stories that take place on earth where mysterious a substance known as doors make people dissappear

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
6.5

Pleasantly weird (but not great)

The overall experience isn't great. It lacks emotional involvement or a clear story a character to hang on to. Like the makers didn't quite understand it either. But there's something sympathetic about it. I like the effects, and it is kind of pleasantly weird, doing it's own thing in a ballsy way.
6.5

Downsizing

Couple decides to shrink and live in a world or other shrunk people, in pursuit of happiness and for sustainability of earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2019
6.5

Disappointing second half

Up until they are shrunk, this is set up really nicely, putting in effort to make this idea work and making me eager to find out what's next. But then the story takes a u-turn with a slightly whiny, society critical theme, a horribly overacting Vietnamese, all making the smallness sort of pointless.
6.5

Tides aka The Colony

Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
6.5

Promising beginning, so-so rest

Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.
6.5

Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
6.5

A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there

In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.
6.5

Lucid Dream

A man tries to find his kidnapped son by reliving the moment in lucid, and later also shared, dreaming

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-05-2018
6.5

Disappointing

The awesome idea turns out to be mostly a rather plain detective/crime story, and the way the whole dreaming thing was supposed to be working seemed rushed and like they didn't really care too much either.
6.5

Mutant Girl Squad

A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
6.5

Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring

I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.
6.5

Ichi The Killer

A ganster mob routine of torturing and killing people gets disrupted by a mysterious killer that leaves the rooms soaked in blood and guts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
6.5

A torture movie for research rather than enjoyment

I actually got used to the torture scenes of amputations and various acts with sharp objects. I actually became somewhat interested in, and empathized with, the mysterious killer. But mostly I still felt sick and depressed rather than amused after watching this.
6.5

Maze Runner

Not knowing why, a guy wakes up in between fellow victims - all surrounded by a giant maze with monsters in it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-07-2015
6.5

Improves with age

Upon first viewing I was annoyed by unnecessary vague way everyone talks and the focus on their petty problems instead of the maze itself. And while these problems are real, upon second viewing the core adventure - with some mystery, action and horror - became more evident and enjoyable.
6.5

Sense8

Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
6.5

Too long for it's own good

After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.
6.5

Outpost, The

Surrounded by high ground, US soldiers in Afganistan try to survive in this highly untactical basecamp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-08-2020
6.5

Generic characters having an intense firefight

This is being applauded for it's realism, but unfortunately that meant for me that I remained somewhat indifferent during the long intense finale, because up until that point all they were were cursing, chit-chatting, anonymous soldiers. Armadillo WAS realism and had relatable, likable people in it.
6.5

Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV

Superwarriors defend the good people from the bad people who are after the crystal that empowers the good people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-06-2023
6.5

A strange but not necessarily tasty mix

Unfamiliar with the Final Fantasy lore, I needed some time to digest the mix of knights driving Audi's in a futuristic world. I liked some of the designs though, and halfway through the story got pretty exciting. But ultimately, the confusing action scenes and hollow characters didn't do it for me.
6.5

Maggie

Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-06-2016
6.5

Sympathetic but hollow

I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.
6.5

Coma

Man wakes up in a comatose world, consisting only of chunks of memories... and malicious beings that hunt for him and other like him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-05-2021
6.5

Boredom in a spectacular world of ideas

One of the coolest and original ideas I've seen in a while, and it looks as cool as the idea itself is. It is therefore all the more frustrating and disappointing that I kept falling asleep. I am guessing it's the boring, over-simplified characters and the vague, pointless missions they set out for.
6.5

Days, The

Series about the Fukushima disaster

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-02-2024
6.5

Surely this was more nerve wrecking?

We followed this series with interest, but it felt like it failed to capture the terrifying race against time this must have been. There's a lot of staring, sitting around, hesitation and discussion. An on-point observation about Japanese culture perhaps, but I wonder if it went this way.
6.5

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