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Blair Witch (2016)

Armed with 7 million camera's, a brother sets of to find his sister who disappeard in the cursed woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2017
6.5

The formula is still scary, but you start to look through it

This felt scary but over-familiar, and the realism achieved by the found footage started to feel very unrealistic instead. I mean who the hell carries this many cameras and shoots this much at these insane moment? Kudos though, for some of the actors enacting deep deep fear in the finale.
6.5

Home Alone 3

This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
6.5

Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?

With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.
6.5

Shutter

Couple finds ghost like smears and images on their photographs

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2018
6.5

Fine, but too formulaic to become really scary or noteworthy

Good idea to base a horror story around these ghostly images, and the actors, the Japan setting and general quality seem up to par. It just feels like it came too late, for we can now sort of guess how these stories unfold, including some lame jump scares I wish it would have risen above.
6.5

Extracted

A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
6.5

Great idea, somewhat dull

A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.
6.5

Lovely, Deep and Dark

A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
6.5

Another good idea without a strong script to carry it

The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.
6.5

Sputnik

Sputnik cosmonauts crash on earth, one of them is carying something unearthly with him. A doctor is asked to investigate.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
6.5

A bit slow

While subjects like this are always a killer, and I liked the Russian take and atmosphere for a change, I found the movie to be rather sluggish. There's a lot of talking and walking through the hallways with too little excitement or tension, nor did I find everything very credible.
6.5

Knock at the Cabin

A family in a cabin gets visited by four people who demand something unimaginable in order to prevent something even more unimaginable

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Entertaining but ultimaltey unsatisfying mystery

Sure enough, the story made curious and entertained. But I was not blown away. I guess some of the actor are a bit meh (not Bautista though!), the super conveniently timed TV broadcast were lame, and I guess I missed a twist of some kind. Part of me thinks the twist was that there was none.
6.5

Dragon's Dogma

When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
6.5

A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great

The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.
6.5

In the Earth

Two scientists go deep into the woods to find a lost colleague, where they face mystical natural phenomena

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2023
6.5

Could have used some more focus and excitement

I like it when things get sciency, and it goes well with natural presentation and some slow burning. But in this case, it can be a little too dull, and the story lacked a focus. It felt like it invented itself as it went on.
6.5

The Equalizer

Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2015
6.5

Old fashioned (in a bad way)

A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.
6.5

Colossal

A woman finds that, at certain locations and moments, she is the monster invading Korea. That's right folks.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2017
6.5

Great idea with little energy in it

The mad story is a joy and pleasantly stubborn. Execution and actors were fine, there just was something very low-energy about it all, that prevented it from becoming as great as the idea itself. The biggest surprise for me was actually the intense acting displayed by Jason Sudeikis.
6.5

The Deep House

Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
6.5

Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals

This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.
6.5

Avengers: Infinity War

All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
6.5

What a mash

In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.
6.5

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

Paranormal Activity: Ghost Dimension

It's about ghostly activity all caught on camera

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-03-2018
6.5

Fresh in the wrong place

They invoke some more obvious, frequent and in your face material, which I can understand was necessary to breath some live into the formula. But the slow, nail biting chance of maybe catching a glimpse kind of was the point. So now it starts to er towards a regular horror glued by jumpscares.
6.5

Black Sea

Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
6.5

Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow

With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.
6.5

Sinister 2

Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
6.5

The movies in this movie are better than the movie

The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.
6.5

Ip Man

The (true?) story of a Kung Fu master who stood up against the Japanese during ww2.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
6.5

Good and bad things from China

It's not always an easy watch because of that painful Chinese overacting and slapstick performances that make it feel like a farce. But as the war begins, the colors fade and gradually it strikes a more serious and interesting tone, and the elaborate superfast kung fu keeps it afloat.
6.5

47 Meters Down

Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2018
6.5

Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)

The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.
6.5

Dracula Untold

Vlad needs extra powers to save his town and people, so he drinks the blood from a dark figure and becomes a vampire.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2015
6.5

Nothing really good, nothing really bad

I can appreciate how it doesn't overdo things, but at the same time it doesn't excel in anything either. It's all a bit flat and muffled. And you know, maybe vampires are not that scary or impressive anymore.
6.5

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Working class kid is selected to for secret agent training, just in time to prevent a major world threat

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2015
6.5

A weird mess with some ok action

Maybe if I had known beforehand about this a messy mix of blood spills, James Bond cliches, an annoying teenager with a cap on and a ridiculous story, I would have felt the vibe and enjoyed this more. But since I had not, I was clueless about what this was supposed to be.
6.5

Adrift

Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-06-2019
6.5

Ruined by constant flashbacks

For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.
6.5

Nocebo

A woman gets sick after being biten by a tick, so she seeks help from her Filipina household who uses folklore on her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-03-2023
6.5

Fair enough, but lacks intensity

It's a decent movie with a twist that, even though you can see it coming, gives it some depth. It's just that it never becomes really scary or intense. It remains a bit lightweight.
6.5

Mulholland Drive

Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
6.5

Should have triggered me, but didn't

The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.
6.5

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexandes wishes that for once his family could experience the awful bad luck has usually has during the day

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2015
6.5

A bit too constrained

I expected some more anarchy and mayhem with a title like that. Now it is a funny but rather tame and polite comedy with too few standout jokes and all kinds of morals and lessons to boot.
6.5

In the Tall Grass

Pursuing cries for help, a brother and sister get lost in a field of tall grass - where weird stuff is going

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2019
6.5

Lacks the quality to make it last

It's an interesting idea, but would require a clever story and/or great actors to make it work for the entire duration of a movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have neither, so after a while and starts to loose appeal. Bonus points for trying though.
6.5

The Rain, season 1

Girl and her brother try to survive in a world destoyed by deadly rain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2023
6.5

Mostly ok, but too familiar, too annoying

There was something overly familiar about the concept of these abandoned city's and rivaling factions. On top of that, most characters and their actions annoyed too much to really get into the first few episodes. Halfway through it kind of happened, only to be let down again by a lackluster finale.
6.5

TrollHunter

Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2013
6.5

Could have been much better if we believed in any of this

The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.
6.5

Flight

An amazing, live-saving crash landing done by an alcohol drug addict pilot. How do you plead?
average 6.7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2013
8

Denzel we'd forgive you!

Stellar acting and crash scene. More than enough to keep you hooked to what is otherwise 'just' an alcohol drama.
8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
13-02-2013
3

Meow!

Kitty like milk
3

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robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
9

Up and down

and so it goes
9

testmovie

desc
average 6.8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
4.5

final floattest, can't be one integer

2.5 for me
4.5

robocop
robocop
20-05-2013
9.5

It will also float this

Floating with 9.5
9.5

Show previous reviews Hide previous reviews
Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-05-2013
6.5

testing it with float integer

floating rating 6.5
6.5

Human Centipede

Man makes a human centipede by stitching people together ass-to-mouth. No really, he does.
average 6.8

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
24-11-2013
6.5

Still feeling slightly nauseous....

Although it has been quite some time since I actually watched this movie, I still get an awkward feeling remembering the gross scenes. Which is, on the other hand, rather impressive since I do not associate many movies with such enduring and intense (negative) emotions....
6.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2013
7

A horrendous but lasting experience

Effortlessly falls into the category: why the hell did they make this... and why the hell am I watching this? Painful, vulgar and almost unbearable to watch. But I remember it better than the average multimilliondollar super FX movie that I have seen lately.
7

Dante's Inferno

Animation about Dante who ventures into hell to get back his wife

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-10-2020
7

Nice hell

The movie delivers quite chilling and imaginative visions of hell, and the biblical and historical references give it intelligence and depth. However [SPOILER], the fact the Dante just hacks his way through any and all kinds of demons without ever getting into real trouble means it lacked tension.
7

The Ruins

A group of beautiful people goes to a secluded mayan ruin, where doom awaits

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2023
7

A pretty good and pretty original horror

This movie manages to overcome my allergy of horror movies with those witty, young, beautiful perfect people, and delivers a pretty solid and entertaining watch, with some gore, mystery and reasonably fresh ideas. I loved the mimicry concept in here.
7

Glorious

Broken man takes a stop during a car trip, but gets locked in the restroom with a god occupying one of the stalls

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-08-2022
7

Refreshingly mad

While it may have some trouble keeping the simple setup engaging the whole time, I did find that this is a wonderfully crazy and refreshing flick. It has a nice dash of horror and scifi elements, but is mostly suitable for those seeking something absurd and trippy.
7

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Again, a terminator comes back in time to secure the future. Again, he is hunted down by an advanced terminator model

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
7

A lesser but stilll adequate episode

Not as epic and overwhelming as the preceding parts, in part because of the rather dull main characters. Still, there's plenty of Terminator goodness in here to have a good time. Average actionmovies back then still were more fun than the soulless fx bonanzas we get nowadays.
7

The Last Stand

Sherrif spents his last working days in a quite bordertown near Mexico, until an escaped criminal plans his escape route straight to it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-10-2013
7

Solid

A somewhat uncomfortable mix of blood spills and goofy humor degrade this otherwise solid and gun fun action movie.
7

Unbroken

The strory of an athletic runner who crashlands during WWII and becomes POW in Japan.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
7

Sligthly unemotional

An impressive story that is filmed tidily and with class, yet is a somewhat numb and flat experience, making it miss out on the impact it should have had.
7

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Sentinels threaten the existence of the mutants, so they sent Wolverine back in time to prevent them from ever being built. Sort of like that one movie.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-10-2014
7

Freaks!

Smooth, sparkling and good looking entertainment. But these mutants and their adventures are stereotypes by definition, that won't lock in emotionally. I also thought Wolverine was out of place as the sensible mediator trying to get people to change their ways.
7

Isn't it Romantic

no-life woman bumbs her head and wakes up in a Romatic Comedy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2019
7

I just wish it was nastier

It's a great idea that will yield a few laughs. But ironically, it's not really funnier than the movies it is making fun of, and even comes up with the very moral lesson I thought it was revolting against.
7

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When almost all GI Joe's are taken out, it's up to the remaining 3 Joe's to save he world and restore the team.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
7

Succesfull action silliness for adults

Sure it's over the top silly. But there's something right about this movie. It doesn't claim to be more than it is, some of the action is just plain cool, and it has the right amount of violence and gloominess to prevent you from feeling like you're watching PowerRangers.
7

Osmosis

Futuristic clinic develops an implant that will help people find their soulmate. But there are plenty of problems as the grand opening comes closer.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-03-2023
7

An original but sterile scifi drama

These series score with originality, a gloomy atmosphere and a couple of interesting storylines. However, the scenery, characters and atmosphere are so ice-cold and sterile that it is hard to empathize any with it - nor did I find everything very logical.
7

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Our lego friends venture into strange new worlds so there can be peace between two lego realms

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-08-2019
7

More of the same

I could see all the things I loved about the original, yet I felt a bit indifferent about it without knowing exactly why. I guess it really is more of the same, which - even if that means more of a good thing - means the initial excitement is not here. But hey: it's still a dazzling lego movie!
7

De Slag om de Schelde

On how the allies regained control of the Dutch Schelde during world war 2, a crucial supply route to Antwerpen harbour

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-07-2021
7

Decent for sure, but somehow didn't really land

I quite like how it is built around more personal and intimate stories of several people involved, and was impressed by the glider footage. However, it suffers a bit from the "we have just a few sets and locations" sensation of smallness, and somehow it didn't really pack a punch emotionally.
7

Das Signal

An astronaut dissappears mysteriously after returning to earth. Her husband slowly learns what she discovered in space.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-03-2024
7

A pleasant scif mystery

An amusing scifi thriller with a pleasant mellow atmosphere and enough question marks too keep you attached. Through it's fanatic attempts to deliver unexpected twist, it did become rather far fetched and illogical at times.
7

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

Because he broke some rules, John is now declared outlaw and the entire underworld seems to be after him.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2020
7

The core of the franchise

The story serves as a carrier to deliver oodles of John Wick-style fights and not much else. It can be a bit too much and absurd at times, but I must say there is also something mesmerizing and satisfying about these endless, beautifully choreographed, flowing violent dances of death.
7

Triple 9

Corrupt agents doing one more gig get caught up in a swamp of distrust

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2016
7

Gloomy and effective but not very involving

It's good to see some dark, well-acted, sweaty, and straight up bad cop action again, with effective action/violence because it doesn't want to over dramatize or orchestrate anything. It would have helped though, if we knew a little bit more about these guys so we can sympathize a little better.
7

12 years a slave

Another movie on slavery

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
29-01-2014
7

An African American living in New york is kidnapped and sold as slave

Based on a true story addressing the gruesome consequences of slavery in the southern states of mid 19th century America. Although I can appreciate this movie and the message it portrays, there are other movies on this topic that I find more memorable.
7

Side effects

After prescribing one betablocker too many, things go bad for both the psyhiatrist and the patient.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-08-2013
7

Far-fetched plots also have side effects

Good, but as the story becomes more and more unbelievable, your involvement in this movie wears off.
7

Exodus Gods and Kings

The story of Moses, who sets out to free his people from egyptian oppression, with a little help from divine intervention

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-04-2015
7

Good yet linear and flat

Well made, acted and tightly shot, it is let by a very slow middle section, a failure to evoke deeper emotions and a rather uninspired depiction of the plagues, as if they are checking them out on a list; Yeh ok so that's the frogs, what's next? How many more?
7

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Folks buy an old town to turn it into something hip, but one house still contains the freaky villain from the seventies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2023
7

Succesful slasher

While I suspect fans of the original have plenty to complain about, in itself I found this to be a fairly solid slasher movie. It has some good gore, and the tension in some scenes is well done and certainly above average.
7

Insidious

Family moves into a home, soonafter which paranormal things happen and the boy falls into a chronic sleep (but it's not a coma!)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2016
7

Half great, half ok

Starts of terrifying indeed. But then the inevitable ghost expert team moves in and sort of break the tension with misguided humor, along with the cliched medium and a tacky explanation for it all, and it sort of drifts into a slightly messy Poltergeist clone.
7

The Mitchells vs. the Machines

Chaotic family faces a robot invasion as well as the struggles with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-05-2021
7

Frantic fun

A bubbly and perky move that is good for a few laughs. It is really up to date with internet fun, memes and mobile phone lifestyle (So it will be obsolete a few years from now). Like other Sony movies, such as Hotel Transylvania, it is very fast and hysteric, sometimes tiring me down.
7

Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045


Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-07-2020
7

More clean and comprehensible, but at the cost of atmosphere

I enjoyed another round of the adventures of this fabulous team. There is plenty of cool stuff in there, and I could actually follow the story this time. The graphics however, while crisp and clear, are also a bit lifeless, and the major somehow lost her mojo for me - even if she is an android.
7

Grotesque (2009)

A young couple is taken hostage and submitted to grotesque torture. Yeh, that's pretty much the story.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-08-2023
7

Ultrapainful and hard to watch, with no payoff or clue to any of it

I was never drawn to torture movies, and by God I hope this is the most painful one in existence. I am giving this 7 points for it is not necessarily badly made, it managed to rattle me inside, made me look away and almost made me give up entirely. But that does not mean I recommend viewing it.
7

Kandahar

When his secret mission is exposed, a CIA operative and his guide must make it out of Afghanistan when all extremists groups in existence come after him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-05-2024
7

Decent, but outclassed by a slightly similar movie

The developing relationship between the man and his guide reminded my of the movie 'The Covenant', but I was less moved or convinced by it. Likewise, the action and thrills are sufficient for an exciting watch, but also less slick and less nail-biting than said movie.
7

Crimes of the Future

In a painless future, a couple performs live operations as an artform and are asked to operate a very special case. He also has strange new organs growing inside of him, by the way.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2022
7

Appealing forbidden fruit, but did not fill me up

I dig this strange word, including the body horror and filth, simply as break from the mainstream. But I did not find it really engaging. Perhaps because we are simply thrown into the weirdness without a narrative, but more importantly the characters themselves seemed apathetic about it too.
7

Sightseers

A rather daft couple goes on a dopey UK trip, which gradually turns into a Bonnie and Clyde rampage through the countryside

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2015
7

Unique, uncomfortably funny

An oddball movie with a strange but ultimately successful combination of comedy, violence and utterly boring vacation trips.
7

The LEGO Batman Movie

Batman must not only face the usual enemies (all at once), but also his inner self

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-02-2017
7

Too fast and furious

A colorful blast of action and endless jokes. Maybe I am getting old, but I found everything too fast and insanely frantic, making it impossible to follow and keep up. The few moments of silence (mostly also intended as a joke) felt like I could breathe again.
7

Crimson Peak

Woman marries a man who brings her to his spooky mansion, where she finds out what a ghost in her childhood tried to warn her for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
7

The good bits are mostly a side dish

With almost every scene a piece of art, this is quiet a looker. The ghost scenes were great too. But the story holding it together is mostly a costume drama of love, crime and passion, which I found quite slow and pale by comparison. I really liked Jessica Chastain's performance, though
7

The Wonder

In the begining of the 19th century, a nurse is tasked with observing a girl who appearantly is able to live without eating

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-12-2022
7

A sober and intriguing tale

This movie is at times very good looking - some of the indoor shots look like paintings - which help to set the mysterious mood. The story is intriguing enough. Part of me likes the fact that they kept it simple, fitting with the lives portrayed, another part wishes it had an extra layer or twist.
7

Aquaman

The story of sea-based superhero aquaman, and his quest to stop an all-out war with the dry people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
7

Sympathetic, fun and over the top

Like many superhero movies, it gets a bit too much and over the top as it moves towards the end (drum playing octopus did it for me) But I must say this has a heart at the right place, Aquaman and others were very likable, and overall it's an unpretentious fun adventure I enjoyed.
7

The Endless

Two brothers go back to a 'ufo death cult' they broke free from in the past. Strangeness awaits.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
7

Decent, but left a slighly unfinished feeling

Without overreaching within a limited budget, this manages to setup quiet a modest but enticing story and mood to make you curious. It can be a bit sluggish though and, while I find the open ended nature fitting, it did feel like it was a a bit insecure about it's own plot and meaning.
7

Marebito

A lonesome filmaker descents into the catacombs of the city and finds an alienated girl whom he tries to care for

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-12-2023
7

Strong beginning, medium remainders

I liked the beginning the best, as it is quite creepy and unnerving. After that, it looses this and switches to mystery/drama that I found less compelling but quite interesting nonetheless. I read about all sorts of double meanings you could attribute to this movie, but for me it is what it is.
7

A Banquet

A mother tries to handle a daugther who, after a visit to the woods, no longer eats and feels she now has a higher purpose

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-03-2022
7

A modest horror with it's own style, but a bit thin on substance

This is a nice, modest mystery with a dash of horror but nothing hysteric. The atmosphere is moody and the central theme of eating and food is lain out well. However, it is dangerously close to being rather uneventful, and can feel kind of improvised as it tries to reach the end.
7

Cobweb

Boy with shit parents and no friends hears a voice coming from the walls, reaching out to him...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-09-2023
7

Something borrowed, something new

Although it uses some familiar ideas and scares, it also manages to have a story and atmosphere of it's own. Nothing spectaculair perhaps, but certainly a well rounded package and decent horror at that.
7

Tokyo Gore Police

A special police officer is on an assigment to take care evil modified humans, which involves a lot of bloodshed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
7

Entertaining blood fountains

For the most part I was very entertained by the bizarre atmosphere and blood fountains. It's a nice doze of insanity that is so over the top you can enjoy without remorse. After a while though, it did get a bit pointless and clueless.
7

Paranormal Activity 2

(mostly) securitycamera footage of a family being haunted

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-01-2016
7

Novel en successful idea approach to a horror flick

Probably a rehash of part 1, but since I have not yet seen that, I will honor this one for the brave, effective and chilling way of telling a horror story. The actual events and pacing are a bit under powered for it to become truly terrifying, though.
7

Polar

A hitman's pension doesn't go as planned

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2020
7

Original, funky and violent

A mixture of some pretty grim action and violence with 'hip' characters, music and wacky titles. For a moment I was afraid the latter was a mask to hide mediocrity, but I have the say Mikkelsen's oodles of charisma, as well as a decent plot twist at the end, make it rise above the norm.
7

Veronica

Ouija board. Trouble.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2018
7

Familair but with it's own sauce

Story wise it is familiar material, but the scares are quite subtle and less hysteric than usual. I liked the Spanish vibe on this and especially the three kids were great. But why it's hailed as one of the scariest movies ever made, I have no idea. The music sounds outdated and isn't helping.
7

Typewriter

Family movies into a new home with a cursed, but sought after, typewriter in it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
7

mixed

It mixes a lot of themes with varying levels of success. There's horror, but also humor, mystery and sometimes it's almost a children's movie. Likewise it is mixed in quality. Sometimes creative and intense, but quite slow and a bit dorky at others. But it does have a unique vibe that sets it apart.
7

The Fountain

While trying to find a cure for his terminally ill wive, a man gets entangled in her manuscript for a story. Also, he is flying through space in a bubble with a tree.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-06-2016
7

Over aware of it's uniqueness

A courageous and unique movie that dares to be different and strange. Beautiful and meaningful on the one hand, but hardly subtle as the symbolism is sort of rammed damned your throat and feels slightly too pleased with itself.
7

Unwelcome

After a home invasion, a young couple moves to the countryside. But new dangers await there, too.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-02-2024
7

A unique but tasty cocktail

A remarkable mix of (hard-hitting) home invasion, fairytale folklore horror and perhaps even contemplations about manhood. Even the tone varies from scene to scene. But all in all, it sort of worked. Not a masterpiece, but highly amusing and quite intense at times.
7

Spawn

Killed assassin makes a deal with the devil to lead his army with new superpowers, and in return he may see his wife again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2017
7

Not brilliant, but has plenty of tricks to make it work

People weren't to keen on this comic adaptation, but I am quite ok with it. There's a special kind overacting that seems just right for a movie like this, I liked the dark theme and some of the fx, the clown is just awesome and the movie simply entertains.
7

Afflicted

While documenting a Eurotrip, two friends also document one of them turning into a vampire

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-08-2015
7

More interesting than scary

A combination of natural acting and convincing effects create some effective WTF moments. Well done, but it wasn't really scary - mostly because they seem sort of ok with the transformation.
7

Rosemary's Baby

Rosemary and her husband move into a luxury appartment where she gets pregnant. The friendly but nosy neighbours hold dark secrets

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-08-2023
7

Good, but may have lost the effect it once had

I'd be happy to acknowledge the impact that this slowly unfolding and psychological horror must have had back in the days, and I quite enjoyed it as well. But in the now, I found the bigger part of it very chatty and the climax barely making up for it.
7

The Hallow

A couple movies to a secluded house in Ireland for forest research, but awaken the stuff from local folklore lurking in the woods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-06-2022
7

A fine horror that manages to set itself apart

Although it does not offer anything radically new - but which horror does - the intimate atmosphere, the genuine characters and a tendency towards true tension over cheap jump scares (of which there are some), make it a worthwhile little horror. But geez, go easy on the cute baby sounds.
7

The Terminator

In the future, killer robotmachines rule, and send a terminator cyborg back to the presents prevent prevent the human rebellion leader from ever being born.
average 7.0

robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
5

Not bad for such a wuzz

It lacks soul like i have. In the end, it is human decision making that settles things.
5

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
01-02-2013
7

Could have been better meow

This movie needed more latex I could have privided, as well as more meow. Anywway this review is a bit on the long side for testing purposes.
7

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-01-2013
9

The definition of cyborg

This movie not only is still the final word in cyborgs, it also demonstrated how such a movie could be genuinly exciting and intellegent.
9

Non Stop

Air marshall tries to deal with a terrorist threatening to kill the passages on his flight, getting himself framed in the process
average 7.0

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
17-09-2015
7

Over the top in a nice way

I don't buy many aspects of the story, but I enjoyed it anyway!
7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-02-2015
7

Good old fashioned suspense

An reasonably intense thriller with a constantly high adrenaline level, and a pleasant 'old fashioned' simplicity of execution. Near the end they go a little overboard with the whodunnit game, and the far fetched motives and plans of the terrorist are yeh-right.
7

Malignant

After the brutal death of her husband, a woman starts to experience equally brutal murders in other people's homes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
7

Uninspired horror saved by a pretty cool twist

For the first half I was just sad, fearing that James Wan has nothing more to offer than formulaic cliches and boring movie characters. And while this IS a big problem of this movie, I have to say the reveal/plot twist was great, put things on it's head and managed to redeem some of the movie.
7

The Red Turtle

Adult animation about a man stranded on an island, and his attempts to escape appearantly being blocked by a large turtle.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-04-2020
7

Beautiful and intriguing animation

Drawn in a beautiful minimalist but expressive style, tastefully flavored with some supernatural elements and manages to make you curious even if nothing is being said. That's quite something, even if the open ended nature felt a little easy to me.
7

Greenland

With comets heading for earth, a family tries to make their way to a shelter

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-07-2021
7

Decent, restrained disaster

While it doesn't set out new frontiers in disaster movies, I thought it was a pretty good one. It kept us hooked, it doesn't have overly complicated stunts and escapes, and it conveys a message that is such situations, the comets are hardly the biggest problem.
7

Pi

A man obsessed with numbers looses his mind where he tries to find patterns in both the stock exchange and the Tora

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2024
7

A pleasant fix of gloomy weirdness

I wonder if it's just because of the black and white that it reminded me of Eraserhead? Or was it also the sweaty claustrophobic cinematography, the insanity and otherworldlyness of it all? Who knows. It's a cult niche thing, but a worthy one for sure.
7

Hunter Killer

American submarine is sent to rescue the Russian president... without starting a world war

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-03-2019
7

Decent macho stuff

It tries a little too hard to be macho and has everyone talking in super tough guy one liners... all at the expense of realism and true tension. But what's left is still an entertaining, action-packed submarine movie for us to jerk off to the glorious American military.
7

2 Guns

Two undercovers get into a corrupt mess and need each other to fight their way out again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-01-2014
7

Solid chemistry but forgetable

A solid action comedy with good chemistry between the main players. It lacks standout moments though, I have already forgotten this movie.
7

Nekromantik

Couple has a fascination for collecting bodyparts, but when he brings an entire corps to have sex with, it puts their relationship to the test

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-07-2022
7

Unpleasant but enticing curiosity

It is made poorly and looks amateuristic, but the sight of someone licking the eye-socket of a decayed corpse still makes this have an impact way bigger than it's budget would have you believe. Vile and uncomfortable, but also unique, brave and an interesting niche product to have experienced. Once.
7

Horrible bosses

Three friends take a stand against their horrible bosses

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-02-2013
7

Some good laughs

It doesn't get hilarious but is a very funny movie nonetheless.
7

Lifeforce

Space mission takes samples from inside a mysterious space derelict, but brings home terror doing so. Space vampires, no less!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
7

Entertaining mix of nonsense

Back from when actors were ugly and sweaty, and people were interrogated by slapping them in the face, comes this remarkable mix of scifi, horror, zombie-outbreak and soft erotica. And it's remarkably entertaining at that.
7

I Spit on Your Grave

Girl survives a brutal redneck gang rape and comes back to torture them to death

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-02-2016
7

A heavy, deeply uncomfortable, depressing affair.

If you manage to finally make it through the rape scenes, the next endurance test is full frontal torture, slightly more bearable because of the payback. I thought the complicated torture setups deployed seemed overly elaborate, prone to errors. But how can we rate movies like this? A 7 perhaps?
7

The Discovery

When an afterlife is scientifically proven, suicide becomes rampant because people try to get there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-06-2017
7

Not all I hoped, bit I still liked it

Part of me wished it was more about the discovery itself, part of me wished it was deeper en creepier, but the rest of me was quite pleased with the sober, depressing and character based-approach that still manages to intrigue and serve a satisfying climax.
7

Contracted

After a onenightstand, a woman's body starts decaying rapidly

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
7

A decent little shocker

Overall, the woman's decay is shocking enough and wasn't overdone. Her struggle with it, and the oddly apathetic reaction of the people around her, adds to feeling of isolation and helplessness. The story is a little straightforward though, hardly going anywhere.
7

The November Man

Retired CIA top wonderboy is asked for one more gig. He steps in because someone close to him is involved...

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2015
7

Fine espionage

A decent, classic espionage action flick. It is a bit low on standout moments though, and the cockiness and skills of the main character can be too much at times.
7

We're the Millers

Smalltime drugdealer assembles a fake family as a coverup during a drug transfer in mexico
average 7.0

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
06-01-2014
7

Easy-going uncomplicated comedy

Original jokes, more than the occasional laugh, and Jennifer Anniston doing lap dances, what else could you possibly want from a movie nowadays?
7

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-12-2013
7

A feelgood wih a bite

Funny actors, deliciously embarrassing moments and some wicked jokes easily lift this feelgood movie above average.
7

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities

A bunch of horror stories

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-01-2023
7

Fun, not terrifying, dark tales for adults

While some of these stories can get quite gruesome - there's a lot of full frontal decaying corpses - the overall atmosphere is more akin towards mystery and dark fairy tales for adults, in terms of style and music. Two I found rather weak, but rest of them quite enjoyable.
7

The Dive

Two sister go on a dive at a remote site. One of them gets stuck.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-09-2023
7

Pretty and suspenseful

For a while I was skeptical whether I would care enough about these girls, or seeing them struggle around the single plotpoint for an entire movie. Turns out I did. It looks great and becomes quite a nail biter indeed. It's also quite savvy about diving equipment and procedures, adding to realism.
7

Overlord

A ww2 squad lands into German-occupied France to blow up a tower, but encounter dark occult nazi experiments on their way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-05-2019
7

Meaty mix

A mixture of war, action and horror, delivering a meaty and enjoyable watch. It is, however, not super exciting nor super scary, and it is let down by some cliches and annoying characters, especially that damn kid.
7

Marionette

Psychiatrist moves to Schotland after a trauma, but her new patient appears to be predicting the future with drawings

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2020
7

slightly dull but ultimately satisfying

It's starts a bit pale in terms of colors, performances and pace, but certainly interesting enough to keep you aboard. Then it goes quite deep in terms of layers and plottwist, yielding a rewarding and fulfilling experience for sure.
7

The Farm

Couple on a roadtrip ends up at a farm where they are treated like animals

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-11-2023
7

Unpleasantly piercing you conscience, but as a horroflick a bit thin

Seeing humans being treated like animals is quite a clever move, because it is shocking and vile, yet you can't fully condemn it because we treat animals this way too. It gives an unpleasant feeling. Too bad the move has little more to offer. Still, I suggest part II - the abattoir could be huge.
7

Extermination

Family tries to survive an invasion from outer space and learn something about themselves along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-08-2018
7

Very decent scifi with a nice twist

All in all this was quite classy and stylistic most of the time, and it has a satisfactory twist as well. It does, however, dwell in certain scenes, and features some horrible cliches like a little girl risking everyone's lives to get her teddybear. Ugh.
7

Eagle vs. Shark

Nerdgirl in pursuit of a nerdguy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-07-2014
7

Touching

The lead actress steals your heart the minute she appears on the screen, and takes you into a funny, touching and quite unique love story. Looses some momentum as it progresses, though
7

Chosen

Girl in a sleepy Danish town meets people who investigate the truth behind a comet that landed ther a long time ago

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-05-2023
7

A sweet mystery

You tend to get this Goonie's adventure vibe when youngsters go on a secret mission, and here we get Danish serenity on top of it. It's a sweet mystery, even if things can get quite unlikely at times, and the main character is not very likable. That space costume looked 70 years too late.
7

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