BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
The Forest
Woman heads off to japan to find her twin sister, who was last seen wandering into suicide forest Aokigahara
Wittenberg
25-09-2016
A missed opportunity
Considering the terrifying setting of the movie, I was quite disappointed that it only had rather mundane, predictable and mostly pointless jump scares to offer. It's not too bad, but hopefully not the final word in movies situated here.Avengers: Infinity War
All superheros must work together to prevent Thanos from getting his hands on stones (actually, getting stones in his hand) that will give him fearsome power
Wittenberg
05-01-2019
What a mash
In the beginning I really digged the grandiose atmosphere, the wisecracks and the beautiful visual style of each and every scene. But then more and more hero's join the fight, it just goes on and on and everyone's fighting and suddenly I was exhausted, disinterested, dozing off and done with this.Ip Man
The (true?) story of a Kung Fu master who stood up against the Japanese during ww2.
Wittenberg
15-02-2018
Good and bad things from China
It's not always an easy watch because of that painful Chinese overacting and slapstick performances that make it feel like a farce. But as the war begins, the colors fade and gradually it strikes a more serious and interesting tone, and the elaborate superfast kung fu keeps it afloat.The Silence
When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
Does what it needs to, but not much more
It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.1899
A ship with migrants find another ship that went missing, and it all gets stranger and stranger from there
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
A potential gem plagued by avoidable problems
This almost is a successful, super mysterious puzzler with an intense atmosphere, but I found it was let down too much by one-trick pony characters that become parodies of themselves, infuriatingly ineffective communication and strange decisions and logic throughout. The events even felt improvised.Extracted
A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
Great idea, somewhat dull
A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.Play Dead
A girl fakes death to get into a morgue, where she needs to retrieve evidence against her brother. But there is unsuspected danger inside.
Wittenberg
11-11-2023
Maybe too long and too unlikely, but still a thrilling ride
The premise and story are far-fetched, and I thought the acting lacked finesse. But this still manages to roll out quite an exciting, pretty tense thriller/horror for the most part. Unfortunately it drags on for too long, becomes tiring and even more implausible. Still, enjoyable stuff.Free Birds
Turkeys travel back in time to wipe their species from thanksgiving menu forever
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Somehow it didn't really work.
It's a vibrant, original, good looking adventure with plenty of good jokes... yet still it doesn't quite take off. Something flat and distant remains, and maybe relating to turkeys in a time machine is just a bit too much to ask.The Kill Team
A soldier situated in Afghanistan comes into conflict with himself and his squad when they appear do unprovoked assassinations.
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Wish I felt it more, but adept
I am not sure how realistic this was, and found the sergeant a little too wacky to be credible. But overall the story kept my attention and did a reasonable at depicting the dilemma of loyalty versus morals - although I do think they could have hit harder.The Eye (2008)
After an eye transplant, a woman starts seeing strange and unsettling things
Wittenberg
02-02-2013
Sits a bit too comfortably in contemporary horror
Some okay moments and ideas can't hide the fact that we are getting getting used to this new japanese style horror thing.Troll
A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
Only the monster is unique
Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.47 Meters Down
Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom
Wittenberg
10-05-2018
Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)
The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.The Equalizer
Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker
Wittenberg
27-04-2015
Old fashioned (in a bad way)
A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.The Consecration
A woman travels to a monastry to investigate the mysterious death of her brother
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
Lacked impact, but ended well
The ending and big reveal near the end are pretty good, but the movie really has trouble getting there. It was a bit unlikely, flat and lifeless, and failed to harvest the creepiness of monasteries and it's rituals. She didn't even react to those nuns lying on the floor, for crying out loud!Cosmopolis
During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
Mindbending by chit chat
I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.Black Sea
Sacked submarine pilot gathers team to find golden treasure on the bottom of the Black Sea
Wittenberg
13-12-2015
Somewhat exciting but slightly shallow
With both paranoia and claustrophobia in the same story, it should have gone overdrive in nail-biting tension. But it feels a bit forced and sluggish, so we're left with a fair submarine movie with a couple of exciting scenes.Rim of the World
Stereotype kids on a summercamp become friends as the try to stop an alien invasion
Wittenberg
07-12-2019
Not without problems, but ultimately entertaining enough
People rightfully pointed out the tired stereotype kids and cliche events. I'd add the unnatural jumps in the editing and uncomfortable adult jokes that make it unclear who this movie is for. But despite all this, it still did amuse me and my kids as the children adventure it mostly sets out to be.Kingsman: The Secret Service
Working class kid is selected to for secret agent training, just in time to prevent a major world threat
Wittenberg
24-10-2015
A weird mess with some ok action
Maybe if I had known beforehand about this a messy mix of blood spills, James Bond cliches, an annoying teenager with a cap on and a ridiculous story, I would have felt the vibe and enjoyed this more. But since I had not, I was clueless about what this was supposed to be.The Cloverfield Paradox
A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.
An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?Kadaver
Live is drab in a postapocalyptic world, so a family is eager to receive a free meal and attend strange performance play in a hotel...
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Mostly missed
It deliverers only partially in the endless possibilities for layers and plot-twists. Worse, the level of fear and tension seem to be on the same level constantly, making you immune/saturated after a while, and a little indifferent as well. But I'd still call it decent and original.Dracula Untold
Vlad needs extra powers to save his town and people, so he drinks the blood from a dark figure and becomes a vampire.
Wittenberg
07-02-2015
Nothing really good, nothing really bad
I can appreciate how it doesn't overdo things, but at the same time it doesn't excel in anything either. It's all a bit flat and muffled. And you know, maybe vampires are not that scary or impressive anymore.Advantageous
Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
Different, interesting but very slow
A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.Tides aka The Colony
Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
Promising beginning, so-so rest
Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver
The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there
In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.Cabin in the Woods
Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
Good idea with not much else going for it
Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
Stunning and tiresome
There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.Machete Kills
Even the government needs Machete
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.
I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.Tombraider
Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good
It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.Sputnik
Sputnik cosmonauts crash on earth, one of them is carying something unearthly with him. A doctor is asked to investigate.
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
A bit slow
While subjects like this are always a killer, and I liked the Russian take and atmosphere for a change, I found the movie to be rather sluggish. There's a lot of talking and walking through the hallways with too little excitement or tension, nor did I find everything very credible.Captain Underpants
When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
Ok, but a bit timid
Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Alexandes wishes that for once his family could experience the awful bad luck has usually has during the day
Wittenberg
26-04-2015
A bit too constrained
I expected some more anarchy and mayhem with a title like that. Now it is a funny but rather tame and polite comedy with too few standout jokes and all kinds of morals and lessons to boot.Like Father
When her groom walks out just before the wedding, the bride ends up drunk and taking her long lost dad on the honeymoon trip
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
Nothing stands out
It's got the actors, humor, story line and locations, but all in very restrained, save and average portions, making this a rather average affair. Not bad, but could have used some more spices for my taste.The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)
Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Too much mysteries
Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".Mutant Girl Squad
A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring
I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
Superwarriors defend the good people from the bad people who are after the crystal that empowers the good people
Wittenberg
06-06-2023
A strange but not necessarily tasty mix
Unfamiliar with the Final Fantasy lore, I needed some time to digest the mix of knights driving Audi's in a futuristic world. I liked some of the designs though, and halfway through the story got pretty exciting. But ultimately, the confusing action scenes and hollow characters didn't do it for me.Hotel transylvania 2
Will the halfbreed vampire child have vampire abilites? Turmoil in the monster hotel.
Wittenberg
11-12-2015
Like a an amusementpark ride
A very animated, lively fun movie that is cramped with jokes. So much so I thought it was exhaustive and it felt as though the bombardment of jokes was camouflaging the absence of a strong story or characters to bind with. Fun - but instantly forgettable.Kong: Skull Island
Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
It's all there but...
Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.The Days
Series about the Fukushima disaster
Wittenberg
20-02-2024
Surely this was more nerve wrecking?
We followed this series with interest, but it felt like it failed to capture the terrifying race against time this must have been. There's a lot of staring, sitting around, hesitation and discussion. An on-point observation about Japanese culture perhaps, but I wonder if it went this way.Escape Plan
A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
Too cliched to be great
The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.Dragon's Dogma
When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great
The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.Jellyfish Eyes
Boy and his mother move to a place where the children have little creatures, which they can later use against a great danger
Wittenberg
03-09-2023
A unique but ultimately aimless movie
While the bizarre and colorful little monsters projected on a real world provide an original en wholesome experience, I had trouble getting into this movie. It's too childish for adults, but too lifeless and down for children. Not to keen on some of the acting either.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Unicorn Wars
Adult animation about colorful bears slaying their sworn enemy: unicorns
Wittenberg
15-01-2024
Irresitable concept but hard to like
The bizarre story and bloody cartoon violence promised a unique experience, but I found the bears too unlikable and too annoying for this, so it was hard to live the moment with them. The finale partially makes up for it, offering something of a more profound experience.San Andreas
Dad needs to search and rescue his ex-wife and then his daughter in the aftermath of huge earthquake
Wittenberg
28-02-2016
Too Hollywood
A technically sound, mostly good looking disaster flick, served with the typical cardboard characters, an omnipotent superhero, drenched in a sauce of Hollywood cliches. It ends with them staring across the sunset with an American flag waving nearby. yay!Sinister 2
Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
The movies in this movie are better than the movie
The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.She Will
Older moviestar and her nurse go to a secluded place to recover, but the spirit of witchcraft still lingers there
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
Great atmosphere, lacking story
It laid down a promising groundwork for a modern witchcraft tale, but I felt it ran out of ideas and became a somewhat uneventful movie not really going anywhere, and without a satisfying ending.After Yang
A man tries to get his broken droid and familymember fixed, and finds out a deeper level in it than he realized
Wittenberg
08-11-2023
Atmospheric but ultimately too thin
Saturated with a mellow and melancholic atmosphere that almost gets you in a dreamy state as well. I appreciative how it's more of a wandering, soul-searching sort of poetry than a clear-cut story, but ultimately I found it too thin on substance to make a lasting impression.Kin
Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
Too slow and mixed up
Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.Aporia
A widow gets her husband back by using her friend's machine that perhaps failed at time travel, but can kill a person in the past
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
Slowish and sober, but still a worthwhile time puzzler
I am quite a sucker for these sober, intimate, low-budget movies that still deliver a clever story and time travel puzzles. This one did indeed fall into that category, although it was a bit lackadaisical and perhaps too minimalistic.Cruela
How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
Well made, just not much in here for me personally
This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?Adrift
Freshly in love couple sail a boat across the Pacific back to the States. But misery strikes, wrecks the boat and now survival is up to her
Wittenberg
02-06-2019
Ruined by constant flashbacks
For it's entire duration, the movie alternates the present with flashbacks in which we have to endure a sugar coated love romance with cheesy music to boot. This constantly resets the tension and sensation of despair, making this survival movie much less intense than it could and should have been.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.The Interview
Dodgy network channel gets the chance to interview the leader of North Korea, and are asked by the CIA to kill him in the progress
Wittenberg
28-02-2015
Another okay-ish comedy
Given the the actors, plot and possibilties, I expected more of this. Besides a few laughs, there's also very long periods with not much in it, and the movie can be hysteric and a bit embarrassing at times.Dead Space: Downfall
Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else
Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.In the Tall Grass
Pursuing cries for help, a brother and sister get lost in a field of tall grass - where weird stuff is going
Wittenberg
29-11-2019
Lacks the quality to make it last
It's an interesting idea, but would require a clever story and/or great actors to make it work for the entire duration of a movie. Unfortunately, it doesn't really have neither, so after a while and starts to loose appeal. Bonus points for trying though.Sex Tape
Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
Little more than it's own tagline
Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.Blue is the Warmest Color (La Vie d'Adèle)
Girl becomes lesbian
Wittenberg
21-02-2016
Beautiful but too long and too slow
You have to admire how the gorgeous lead actrices carry this story with beautifully authentic acting. But everything takes so freaking long in this movie, everything is so spread out that in the end even the intimate love scenes started to bore me.A Scanner Darkly
Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
Less than meets the eye
The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)Triada
Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
A couple of problems, but still enjoyable
We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.Evil Dead (2013)
Kids go into the woods to rehab a friend Then they find a book and unwillingly release hell.
Wittenberg
14-06-2015
Slashing that still leaves you indifferent
As a cabin slasher it appeared solid and effective, yet I couldn't really get scared or excited by it. Characters too dull and silly, story too well known.Sully
On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
Over dramatized
The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??Home Alone 3
This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?
With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.Anomalisa
The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel
Wittenberg
08-04-2018
Unique but a bit minimal
The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on themLovely, Deep and Dark
A ranger wanders through a huge reserve, searching for the many people who went mssing there, and also for something personal
Wittenberg
21-03-2024
Another good idea without a strong script to carry it
The was really promising, with something mystical about the woods as she slowly seemed to loose touch with reality. But the script was very minimalist, almost unsure about what the real story was, leaving a somewhat empty feeling and a finale that felt like an desperate attempt to leave a mark.Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Tries everything except being scary or exciting
Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.The Uninvited
After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
Story is good, other aspects lacking
The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.Approaching the Unknown
A skilled engineer and solo astronaut must handle numerous challenges during his the voyage to Mars
Wittenberg
03-11-2016
Sober scifi with a few letdowns.
It has a lot going for it, like a nice techy (but not necessarily realistic) theme and a pleasant, sober approach that doesn't do cheap thrills. On the downside, the main actor is not really sympathetic, and the single 'capcom' guy plainly sitting behind a desk was just silly and cheap.Flight
An amazing, live-saving crash landing done by an alcohol drug addict pilot. How do you plead?
Wittenberg
19-02-2013
Denzel we'd forgive you!
Stellar acting and crash scene. More than enough to keep you hooked to what is otherwise 'just' an alcohol drama.Catwoman88
13-02-2013
Meow!
Kitty like milk
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Human Centipede
Man makes a human centipede by stitching people together ass-to-mouth. No really, he does.
RockmeNow
24-11-2013
Still feeling slightly nauseous....
Although it has been quite some time since I actually watched this movie, I still get an awkward feeling remembering the gross scenes. Which is, on the other hand, rather impressive since I do not associate many movies with such enduring and intense (negative) emotions....Wittenberg
18-08-2013
A horrendous but lasting experience
Effortlessly falls into the category: why the hell did they make this... and why the hell am I watching this? Painful, vulgar and almost unbearable to watch. But I remember it better than the average multimilliondollar super FX movie that I have seen lately.testmovie
desc
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
final floattest, can't be one integer
2.5 for merobocop
20-05-2013
It will also float this
Floating with 9.5
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Bad Milo
When people agitate this man, a demon comes out of his ass and eats them. No Shit.
Wittenberg
03-01-2014
Naughty and pleasantly bizarre
but the constant rectal suffering could make you nauseous.Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045
Wittenberg
19-07-2020
More clean and comprehensible, but at the cost of atmosphere
I enjoyed another round of the adventures of this fabulous team. There is plenty of cool stuff in there, and I could actually follow the story this time. The graphics however, while crisp and clear, are also a bit lifeless, and the major somehow lost her mojo for me - even if she is an android.Non Stop
Air marshall tries to deal with a terrorist threatening to kill the passages on his flight, getting himself framed in the process
RockmeNow
17-09-2015
Over the top in a nice way
I don't buy many aspects of the story, but I enjoyed it anyway!Wittenberg
24-02-2015
Good old fashioned suspense
An reasonably intense thriller with a constantly high adrenaline level, and a pleasant 'old fashioned' simplicity of execution. Near the end they go a little overboard with the whodunnit game, and the far fetched motives and plans of the terrorist are yeh-right.Devotion
A black aviator tries to make it it not just through the Korean war, but also through racism
Wittenberg
27-08-2023
A well made movie, somehow unable to excite
On the face of it, this was pretty close to a triple A movie. A touching and sincere storyline, impressive CGI and areal shots, and a professional and mature feel to it. Yet somehow, there was something lukewarm about it, unable to really move or excite me. Not quite sure what it was.Extermination
Family tries to survive an invasion from outer space and learn something about themselves along the way
Wittenberg
02-08-2018
Very decent scifi with a nice twist
All in all this was quite classy and stylistic most of the time, and it has a satisfactory twist as well. It does, however, dwell in certain scenes, and features some horrible cliches like a little girl risking everyone's lives to get her teddybear. Ugh.The Water Man
Boy travels into the woods to find the mysterious Water Man, for he may hold the key to healing his sick mother
Wittenberg
26-08-2021
Pleasant and intimate modern fairytale
A pleasant modern day fairlytale with an intimate atmosphere and performances. Much more refined than big blockbusters, and the sickness is brought without sugarcoating. It's just that the twist at the end, although I can see the point of it, was somewhat abrupt and left me slightly unfulfilled.The Mitchells vs. the Machines
Chaotic family faces a robot invasion as well as the struggles with each other
Wittenberg
13-05-2021
Frantic fun
A bubbly and perky move that is good for a few laughs. It is really up to date with internet fun, memes and mobile phone lifestyle (So it will be obsolete a few years from now). Like other Sony movies, such as Hotel Transylvania, it is very fast and hysteric, sometimes tiring me down.Ninjago
The green ninja is having daddy issues, so he and his team venture into the jungle to find the ultimate ultimate weapon to defeat him
Wittenberg
11-10-2017
Unbalanced
These LEGO movies will deliver the frantic action and fun, but I found it an unbalanced with a restless first half and then too much over-emotional scenes in the second one. But who am I? My son rated it 9.5.King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
One man can claim the magic sword and challenge the evil king
Wittenberg
28-01-2018
Watch out for splinters
At times a majestic and grandiose movie that definitely has it's moments, but also has some distracting dissonants like the weird fast paced conversations and inconsistent character of Arthur himself. Sometimes he was sincere, sometimes a goofball. It failed to latch on, already I am forgetting it.I Spit on Your Grave
Girl survives a brutal redneck gang rape and comes back to torture them to death
Wittenberg
20-02-2016
A heavy, deeply uncomfortable, depressing affair.
If you manage to finally make it through the rape scenes, the next endurance test is full frontal torture, slightly more bearable because of the payback. I thought the complicated torture setups deployed seemed overly elaborate, prone to errors. But how can we rate movies like this? A 7 perhaps?The wHole Truth
When their mother is hospitalized, a sister and brother stay with their grandparents, where a hole in the hole reveals an evil past
Wittenberg
25-05-2022
Original and clever, but drops some balls
Down to the very title, the story and is pretty clever and there's a nice vibe which sets it apart from the norm. The horror is a bit lightweight though, and some of plot twists are brought simply by the characters explaining them to each other standing in circles.Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Hydra has infiltrated the safety of SHIELD, and there's a new enemy as well
Wittenberg
23-08-2014
A really mixed bag
It's more mature, confident and less hysteric than most superhero movies, due to restrained superpowers and lots of attention to the story. But, all characters are flat and unlikable, and the brawls are a bit tedious. This quality popcorn amusement feels like it could have been more than that.The Strays
A woman's high life is disturbed when two children show up
Wittenberg
08-03-2023
A decent horror drama
More drama than horror, but a feeling of increasing discomfort and dread is unmistakable. Everything is done pretty well, and I liked how the timelines of two perspectives come together. But part of me felt it remained a little lightweight, could have hit harder.The November Man
Retired CIA top wonderboy is asked for one more gig. He steps in because someone close to him is involved...
Wittenberg
31-05-2015
Fine espionage
A decent, classic espionage action flick. It is a bit low on standout moments though, and the cockiness and skills of the main character can be too much at times.Brain Dead / Dead Alive
An exotic rat bite turn the dead into zombies. An dorky man and his girlfriend fight them with all their might.
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
A classic, but has lost some impact over the years
It reached new levels of splatter-gore when it came out, and it still is quite a bloodbath today. The humorous tone helps to make the somewhat campy effects acceptable, but prevents it from becoming really scary or gross.You Are Not My Mother
Girl is struggling with the mysterious behaviour of her mother, and discovers the dark secrets of her family
Wittenberg
05-09-2022
slow but effective
It is pushing the limits of slow burning, and perhaps lacks some focus in the story. But I remained on board the entire time, because I certainly was curious, it is intriguingly uncanny and I really liked the acting of the lead.Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
After getting fired and hitting rock bottom, the anchorman is given a change for a comeback at the first 24 hour newsstation
Wittenberg
29-12-2014
Many great laughs eventually fade away
I laughed out loud several times in the beginning, which is quite rare these these days. But as it retreats to it's story and morals, it looses much momentum and becomes a little basic yet again. I wonder if movies like these could just forget about the plot and just have fun the entire time.Bone Tomahawk
Cowboys go on a mission to rescue fellow-cowboys who were kidnapped by brutal Indians
Wittenberg
10-05-2023
Served straight up, which is both good and bad
I was lured into this reading somewhere that it was a cross between western and horror. Wrongly so, because it really is a western with perhaps some gore at the end. It was okay; very linear, straightforward story with no window dressing. This made it pure and natural, but not really exciting.Them That Follow
A woman of a secluded religious community, that does snake handling to prove their faith, has a secret
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
Slow, but something is growing
The movie has a very serene atmosphere in which the slow daily life in the woods is portrayed very well, so much so that in fact halfway I almost started to long for some action. But there's a constant under the skin buzz that keeps it mysterious and kept me watching, with memorable performances.No One Will Save You
A girl versus aliens invading her home
Wittenberg
20-03-2024
Mostly a decent home invasion movie
I liked the idea of a single, cute girl in a dress facing such dreadful odds, and it certainly has some strong scenes and moments. After a while though, I thought it became a bit directionless, and the surreal dreamy ending felt slapped on without really knowing what it was supposed to mean.Kill List
Ex military (?) but now homebound man accepts a hitjob, but it drags him into an occult nigtmare
Wittenberg
30-03-2022
A mood different than others, but lacks involvement
There's a plain, non-sensationalist vibe in the atmosphere and acting, which I liked and which sets the movie apart. The builtup and climax are also shocking enough. But making the main character is such a nasty, hollow, emotionless man works against the movie and the impact it could have had.Aquaman
The story of sea-based superhero aquaman, and his quest to stop an all-out war with the dry people
Wittenberg
06-08-2019
Sympathetic, fun and over the top
Like many superhero movies, it gets a bit too much and over the top as it moves towards the end (drum playing octopus did it for me) But I must say this has a heart at the right place, Aquaman and others were very likable, and overall it's an unpretentious fun adventure I enjoyed.Alien: Covenant
A colonial spaceship decides to do an unscheduled stop at an unknown, potentially habitable, planet when they pick up broadcast from it
Wittenberg
05-06-2017
Another great alien movie that is also a huge disappointment
It still manages to shock and awe with intense alien encounters en space tech porn. But the more it wants to elaborate on the story and origins of the creature, the more it destroys. I wish I had never seen a live engineer - the single dead one was 100x more intriguing.Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle
Space colonists try to defeat Godzilla by luring him to the mechzilla facility
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
A somewhat mellow but fine chapter in this series
It really is an in-between movie without a convincing climax, and with less tension and mystery than its predecessor. But is also retrains enough of the unique style and excitement to make it worthwhile.Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe
They get mistaken for drilling talents and are sent into space, causing havoc across space and it's dimensions
Wittenberg
01-08-2022
If you needed more of it, then this delivers
I for one missed these guys, and this movie simply delivers a generous portion of everything you love and hate about them, wrapped in a story that's reasonably fresh without ever drifting away from the essence.Upside Down
Two lovers, each on different but nearly touching planets with opposed gravities
Wittenberg
27-10-2013
West Side Story turned on it's head
It's a wonderful movie with a big heart, but the lovestory in it just doesn't quite reach the same level as the visuals and original ideas.Inside
Art burgar gets trapped inside a house for a long time, and needs to find ways to survive (and possibly escape)
Wittenberg
17-04-2023
Quite a unique survival movie
Indoor survival, what an idea! It's all executed perfectly fine, and Dafoe manages to not overdo the gradually increasing frustration and insanity. Nothing mind-blowing here, but it's a worthwhile and refreshingly different movie for sure.Cure
Detective investigates murders that appear to have come through hypnosis
Wittenberg
29-12-2023
Moody but a bit too emtpy
With it's moody, grainy colors and images, and continuous dread of the unexplained, this had the potential for being quite an intense, under-your-skin thriller/horror. But unfortunately, the slowish plot and an overall empty feeling ment some of the scares were lost.We Are the Flesh
In an apocalyptic ruin, siblings mingle with a man offering them perks, but also descending them into nightmarish sexual depravity
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
A trip for some of us
Perhaps it is not fair to rate this without having had subtitles, but I doubt it would have made more sense with them. Being uncomfortable, strange and vile, it's hard to rate movies like this. But in the end,I think I appreciate the vision, the boldness and the tripyness about it.Movies found: 1044 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 391 - 490
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