BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)Wittenberg
30-12-2014
Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...Wittenberg
15-04-2015
A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.Next
A guy can see two minutes into the future, which brings him into trouble when he is asked to help prevent a terrorist attack
Wittenberg
20-12-2014
Idea not fully utilized
It's a nice idea that provides some fair entertainment. But a nuclear terrorist attack is not the most inspirational thing they could have done with it. The 'gift' soon becomes gimmicky and the story a little standard.Good Kill
Pilot of unmaned drones is not happy with it's job
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
unfocused and over-edited
I was getting tired quickly of the whining that killing terrorists with a drone apparently isn't exciting enough for these people, and confused because then they start crying because the suddenly have moral conflict with it. Then there's the stiff dialogue and suspiciously insubordinate procedures.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Sand Castle
Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
it's got the stuff but not the story
They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.The Taking of Deborah Logan
Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary
This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.Casshern
In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it
With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.Kong: Skull Island
Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
It's all there but...
Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.Kin
Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
Too slow and mixed up
Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.Jarhead 2: Field of Fire
Supply mission in Afghanistan turns bad and turns into a mission of a very different nature
Wittenberg
02-11-2014
ok-ish, next time believe in yourself
It's not a bad war movie. It is, however, a little too preoccupied with setting up mandatory warmovie cliches and visuals, and showing how great and fun the military is. The Taliban apparently also have serious aiming issues.Velvett Buzzsaw
A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
Too sterile to make me care
I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.The Lost City
Author of classic adventure romans novels suddenly get involved in a real, treasure-finding adventure - with her cocktaildress still on
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
Good fun, but not great
The combination of slapstick humor and classic Indy mystery and adventures still works for me. But the movie seems self aware of it's simple goals, making it a bit lazy. The jokes are a bit insecure and over the top, the adventure a bit anti climactic, the romance not really tangible.Independence Day: Resurgence
Mankind has had a major tech and weapons upgrade, but will it be enough to counter a second alien invasion?
Wittenberg
11-07-2016
Leave brain at home
I guess it rightfully is the brainless over-the-top popcorn scifi movie it needs to be, so that it doesn't need to make excuses for being shallow, stupid and hardly exiting. Fun, but ultimately I find these movies less and less satisfying. Couple of days later, I have already forgotten most of it.Clara
Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant
Wittenberg
30-07-2019
An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda
The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.The Mist
A mist containing monstrous creatures traps a group of people inside a supermarket
Wittenberg
28-11-2023
Too much cartoon people to be scary
I think it has that distinctive style of Stephen King, featuring a group of various very talkative and exaggerated characters arguing and contemplating as they face this ordeal. Almost like watching a play. Somehow it drains most of the tension, and left me slightly amused rather than scared.Bait
After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
Amazingly ok
Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver
The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there
In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.Dumb and Dumber To
They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
Below par
It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.Sully
On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
Over dramatized
The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??Rambo Last Blood
Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Not the right rambo movie for me
I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.Homunculus
A man agrees to have a hole drilled in his head, after which he can see manifestations people's inner selves
Wittenberg
07-05-2023
Great idea, executed so-so
It focuses more on psychological drama than horror of science fiction, and rightly so. It's an exciting concept that unfortunately doesn't really take off. The characters are not really likeable, and the story is a bit of hit and miss. One of those movies you think could have been much better.Cryptozoo
Animation about a zoo housing cryptoid creatures, bad people that want them dead and good people trying ot protect them
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
Great for it's uniqeness, but utlimately a flawed trip
I wanted to like this more, with it's bold ideas, pleasantly strange story and willful drawings. I can see how people describe it as beautiful, but I could also make the case that it can look pretty crude an amateuristic at times. Everyone also seems a bit high and slow, making me sleepy eyed.Anomalisa
The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel
Wittenberg
08-04-2018
Unique but a bit minimal
The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on themHome Alone 2: Lost in New York
During the familty vacation to Florida, the kid accidently ends up alone in New York - as do his nemesis crooks
Wittenberg
12-12-2021
Faithfully more of the same
I'd say it successfully manages retain the same atmosphere, jokes and story line as the original. So if you are in need of more of the same slapstick humor, and warm family friendly Christmas vibes, this will do.The Uninvited
After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
Story is good, other aspects lacking
The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.The Liberator
A squad comprised out of people from very different backgrounds fighting in the second World War.
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Looks unqiue, but it's not quite there
The half-drawing, half real-life filter make it look unique, and is a great idea for making epic scenes on a lower budget. The action scenes were good, but the dialogue not so much, and it frequently does emotional and sensitive dives which I found a bit forced and cliched.Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire
Peaceful farmers start a rebellion against a spaceorder threatining their way of life, starting of with recruiting members from across the galaxy
Wittenberg
23-12-2023
Pretty but lacking interesting characters or plot
On the face of it an impressive epic with neat designs and visuals, but most characters are very flat comicbook archetypes, the story was lacking and felt overfamiliar at places. I'll watch the sequels, but probably won't remember this at all when they arrive.A.I. Rising
For a long journey, a cosmonaut will be accompanied by a female android engineered to his taste
Wittenberg
05-09-2021
ok, but would have benefited greatly from better writing
With just a some fairly modest modifications in the dialogue and story line, such as more profound elements of philosophy, existentialism, psychology and perhaps some horror, this would have been great. As it stands though, it still is a decent sci-fi tale.Peppermint
When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own
Wittenberg
03-03-2019
Exchanging the sexes isn't enough
This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.Warcraft
A fantasyworld at peace is suddenly invaded by violent beasts coming through a portal
Wittenberg
11-10-2016
Surprisingly mature, but still a slightly distant game world
Pleasantly surprised by the quality of the characters, looks and various memorable scenes, and the way that things have a mature quality to them.. But you still may feel like you're thrown in a world you do not know, making it hard to connect with it, or be immersed by it.Passengers
On a hightech spaceship carrying 5000 cryosleeping persons to a new earth, one of them wakes up 90 years too early
Wittenberg
22-04-2017
A flawed love story
If found the idea more interesting than execution, which suffers from rather flat, over-directed characters trying to deliver what is eventually a love story in space. The tech/thrills near the end felt rushed and lazy.Chappie
Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
Nice robot, crappy story
Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...Wittenberg
17-03-2015
A bitter sweet 7
As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.Poltergeist (2015)
Family moves into a house in which a ghost goes after the little girl
Wittenberg
29-05-2016
A but uninspired
Right from the start it quite mundanely runs by -=scary scenes=-. Then the science team moves in, after which the scares are pretty much gone. The boy's trick of constantly turning his head toward a scary event VERY SLOWLY was also getting on my nerves. DeWitt rose above it all.Orbita 9
Woman on a long solo space mission gets a visit from a mechanic, after which she learns the true nature of her mission
Wittenberg
08-08-2021
Nice scifi with a twist. One twist - early on.
With a plotline that it's impossible to describe accurately without ruining it, this is a pleasant scifi done just fine. It's just that, after the big twist it's, sort of de-energizes a few notches. When the big reveal is almost at the beginning, it's harder to keep us hooked.No Hard Feelings
A girl gets a car - if she dates an undatable
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
Another fine romcom with not much else
It's good for a few laughs and some well dosed emotional depth. But that, unfortunately, seems to be the review I end up writing every freaking 'romcom' out there. I wish it would have found away to rise above this.What Happened to Monday?
In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?
Wittenberg
12-05-2019
Gimmicky
While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.Older Gods
A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight
These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.The Lazarus Effect
After succesfully bringing a dog back to live, an accident brings the science team to try the trick on one of their own
Wittenberg
31-03-2016
Unremarkable horror despite some good ideas
A promising idea and start can't help this movie from soon ending up with rather cliche and predictable scares and a lack of focus. The science 'team' is also an unconvincing bunch of Hollywood stereotypes.High Life
Survivor on a spaceship tries to take care of a babygirl. Slowly we learn what preceded this situation, and what comes after.
Wittenberg
19-04-2022
ok as a slowburning, artistic scifi, but hardy delivers a payoff
The decor hardly reminded me of a spaceship, but I presume the creators thought this was irrelevant to the sophisticated story they wanted to tell. And while I was interested and enjoyed this 'alternative' scifi, it was also arrogantly slow and even the word pretentious came to mind.The Void
Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless
A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.Bokeh
Two lovers on a vaction in Iceland one day wake up to find they're all alone
Wittenberg
09-12-2017
Sympathetic and pretty, but runs out of fuel
Starts of fine with beautiful shots of Iceland, moody music, sympathetic actors and by keeping everything small and intimate. But gradually, the 'pretty scenes with music' start to feel like pointless fillers, and I think it tried to say something religious but I am not sure what.The Other Side of the Door
Devastated by the tragic loss of her son, the woman resorts to an indian supernatural ritual to speak to him one last time - and exectutes it wrongly
Wittenberg
10-07-2016
Fair horror
I loved the Indian setting and the story had potential, but ultimately it keeps relying on familiar tricks and I thought everyone was overacting a bit.Doors
Four individual stories that take place on earth where mysterious a substance known as doors make people dissappear
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Pleasantly weird (but not great)
The overall experience isn't great. It lacks emotional involvement or a clear story a character to hang on to. Like the makers didn't quite understand it either. But there's something sympathetic about it. I like the effects, and it is kind of pleasantly weird, doing it's own thing in a ballsy way.Black Snake Moan
When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
I saw through it
Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.1899
A ship with migrants find another ship that went missing, and it all gets stranger and stranger from there
Wittenberg
28-12-2022
A potential gem plagued by avoidable problems
This almost is a successful, super mysterious puzzler with an intense atmosphere, but I found it was let down too much by one-trick pony characters that become parodies of themselves, infuriatingly ineffective communication and strange decisions and logic throughout. The events even felt improvised.Downsizing
Couple decides to shrink and live in a world or other shrunk people, in pursuit of happiness and for sustainability of earth
Wittenberg
22-12-2019
Disappointing second half
Up until they are shrunk, this is set up really nicely, putting in effort to make this idea work and making me eager to find out what's next. But then the story takes a u-turn with a slightly whiny, society critical theme, a horribly overacting Vietnamese, all making the smallness sort of pointless.TrollHunter
Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway
Wittenberg
11-11-2013
Could have been much better if we believed in any of this
The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.Calvaire
A man seek shelter at a French auberge, which turns horrific when the owner strats to claim him as if he were someone else.
Wittenberg
20-07-2023
Nasty, but not in a good way
There's potential here for quiet a nasty, slowly consuming horror/thriller - you might even say it is one. But for me personally, I found the protagonist too stiff, everything a bit filthy and weird so it was hard to feel involved or empathize about it.The Kill Team
A soldier situated in Afghanistan comes into conflict with himself and his squad when they appear do unprovoked assassinations.
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Wish I felt it more, but adept
I am not sure how realistic this was, and found the sergeant a little too wacky to be credible. But overall the story kept my attention and did a reasonable at depicting the dilemma of loyalty versus morals - although I do think they could have hit harder.Troll
A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
Only the monster is unique
Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.Videodrome
In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on
It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.The Mandalorain, season 3
Mando and friends try to reclaim and reinhabit their homeworld
Wittenberg
05-05-2023
Kind of done with this, but very pretty nonetheless
I am done with the dumb-ass, endlessly repeated creed, the preposterous helmet policy (yet still they celebrate with diner?), and once you have mini Mandalorians with mini mando-helmets you're killing lore. And yet, this series still excels at showing many Starwars elements in all of their glory.Camera Obscura
Predictive murders show up on a depressed man's vintage camera. How far will he go to prevent them?
Wittenberg
21-01-2018
Good idea delivered somewhat plainly
It's got a great story and almost reels in that 'low budget doesn't matter when you have good ideas and actors' vibe. But I found it lacking that extra touch and sharpness. It ends up somewhat tame and slow. Some of the horrific scenes somehow left me cold.The BFG
Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Lovingly made but not immersing
I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.Free Birds
Turkeys travel back in time to wipe their species from thanksgiving menu forever
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Somehow it didn't really work.
It's a vibrant, original, good looking adventure with plenty of good jokes... yet still it doesn't quite take off. Something flat and distant remains, and maybe relating to turkeys in a time machine is just a bit too much to ask.The Green Inferno
Student activists go protest in the jungle to save the habitat of the local natives, but end up being eaten by them
Wittenberg
02-04-2018
Eat those annoying actors
The cannibalism and slaughter should please those who like this sort of thing, and the live of the tribe - while not eating - even seemed sort of respectful and authentic. The movie is held back by really annoying characters delivering lots of poorly acted lines.The Outpost
Surrounded by high ground, US soldiers in Afganistan try to survive in this highly untactical basecamp
Wittenberg
30-08-2020
Generic characters having an intense firefight
This is being applauded for it's realism, but unfortunately that meant for me that I remained somewhat indifferent during the long intense finale, because up until that point all they were were cursing, chit-chatting, anonymous soldiers. Armadillo WAS realism and had relatable, likable people in it.Possum
A man tries to get rid of a horrendous puppet
Wittenberg
28-01-2023
A respectable but not entirely succesful oddity
An oddball, slightly experimental film that is pretty close to being fascinatingly disturbing. However, for that it needed more truly intense moments, perhaps some more depth in the story, and perhaps most importantly: a bit more speed, as it sometimes almost comes to a standstill.Sense8
Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Too long for it's own good
After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.The Eye (2008)
After an eye transplant, a woman starts seeing strange and unsettling things
Wittenberg
02-02-2013
Sits a bit too comfortably in contemporary horror
Some okay moments and ideas can't hide the fact that we are getting getting used to this new japanese style horror thing.Coma
Man wakes up in a comatose world, consisting only of chunks of memories... and malicious beings that hunt for him and other like him
Wittenberg
30-05-2021
Boredom in a spectacular world of ideas
One of the coolest and original ideas I've seen in a while, and it looks as cool as the idea itself is. It is therefore all the more frustrating and disappointing that I kept falling asleep. I am guessing it's the boring, over-simplified characters and the vague, pointless missions they set out for.Tides aka The Colony
Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
Promising beginning, so-so rest
Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.May December
An actress parts up closely with the woman she is going to portay in her next movie, and with her secrets
Wittenberg
26-01-2024
Great acting and built-up leading to nothing
A movie filled with a solid cast that are a pleasure to watch, and a story that has the sensation of slowly building up to a climax of some sort. But I don't think it did. Instead it left me with a feeling of being cheated, and wondering what I had been watching.Asteroid City
A small desert town with wandering souls gets a visit from space
Wittenberg
16-07-2023
Objectively great, subjectively empty
I'd be happy to applaud the artistic value, the conspicuous characters, the fantastic colors and the bold cinematography. But ultimately, I could not process it. I could only stare at it, telling myself to enjoy it's objective quality and audacity, yet feeling quite uninvolved and untouched.The Silence
When man-eating bats are released from an ancient cave, only those who can live in silence stand a chance
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
Does what it needs to, but not much more
It sort of does what you expect in a tidy and effective way, to deliver a respectable suspense horror. But so shortly after the superior 'a Quite Place' it came across as a bit tame and second rate.Cosmopolis
During his limo ride to get a haircut, a wealthy financial has conversations (?) with people he meets along the way.
Wittenberg
12-01-2014
Mindbending by chit chat
I was mad at this movie, for its pretentious, incomprehensible and endless bull (or poetry, you decide). I think I fell asleep twice. Then, the next day, I couldn't wait to see how it ended. It's a mindfuck alright.Swiss Army Man
A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts
I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.Maze Runner
Not knowing why, a guy wakes up in between fellow victims - all surrounded by a giant maze with monsters in it
Wittenberg
11-07-2015
Improves with age
Upon first viewing I was annoyed by unnecessary vague way everyone talks and the focus on their petty problems instead of the maze itself. And while these problems are real, upon second viewing the core adventure - with some mystery, action and horror - became more evident and enjoyable.Machete Kills
Even the government needs Machete
Wittenberg
22-12-2013
Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.
I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.Snatched
When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem
I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.Split
Three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple identities
Wittenberg
28-05-2017
Multiple Personality Disorder annoys me more than it scares me
Frankly, I was somewhat bored and agitated by the multiple identities, especially the laughable behavior of the supposed 9 year old. Apart from the identities there's wasn't much in there, nor did I find it very particularly scary. It's okay, but underwhelming.Cabin in the Woods
Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking
Wittenberg
22-09-2013
Good idea with not much else going for it
Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard
Wittenberg
06-09-2014
Stunning and tiresome
There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.Maggie
Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie
Wittenberg
26-06-2016
Sympathetic but hollow
I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.Play Dead
A girl fakes death to get into a morgue, where she needs to retrieve evidence against her brother. But there is unsuspected danger inside.
Wittenberg
11-11-2023
Maybe too long and too unlikely, but still a thrilling ride
The premise and story are far-fetched, and I thought the acting lacked finesse. But this still manages to roll out quite an exciting, pretty tense thriller/horror for the most part. Unfortunately it drags on for too long, becomes tiring and even more implausible. Still, enjoyable stuff.Rim of the World
Stereotype kids on a summercamp become friends as the try to stop an alien invasion
Wittenberg
07-12-2019
Not without problems, but ultimately entertaining enough
People rightfully pointed out the tired stereotype kids and cliche events. I'd add the unnatural jumps in the editing and uncomfortable adult jokes that make it unclear who this movie is for. But despite all this, it still did amuse me and my kids as the children adventure it mostly sets out to be.Captain Harlock: Space Pirate
In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies
Wittenberg
13-05-2016
Just enjoy the pretty graphics
Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)
Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Too much mysteries
Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".Area 51
Armed with camera's , some teens attempt to sneak in area 51 and catch a glimps of what's in there
Wittenberg
13-08-2015
Great idea doesn't quite deliver
A clever idea that could have yielded some scary footage. Unfortunately, the teens in question are bit bland and unsympathetic, their efforts for this stunt are a bit over the top, and once inside it's a bit too messy and rushed to deliver true scares. Should have been toned down a little.Megamind
Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain
Wittenberg
01-11-2015
Ok humor space adventure
A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.Kadaver
Live is drab in a postapocalyptic world, so a family is eager to receive a free meal and attend strange performance play in a hotel...
Wittenberg
08-11-2020
Mostly missed
It deliverers only partially in the endless possibilities for layers and plot-twists. Worse, the level of fear and tension seem to be on the same level constantly, making you immune/saturated after a while, and a little indifferent as well. But I'd still call it decent and original.Escape Plan
A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.
Wittenberg
28-04-2014
Too cliched to be great
The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.The Consecration
A woman travels to a monastry to investigate the mysterious death of her brother
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
Lacked impact, but ended well
The ending and big reveal near the end are pretty good, but the movie really has trouble getting there. It was a bit unlikely, flat and lifeless, and failed to harvest the creepiness of monasteries and it's rituals. She didn't even react to those nuns lying on the floor, for crying out loud!Cruela
How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be
Wittenberg
03-10-2021
Well made, just not much in here for me personally
This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.Sputnik
Sputnik cosmonauts crash on earth, one of them is carying something unearthly with him. A doctor is asked to investigate.
Wittenberg
26-08-2020
A bit slow
While subjects like this are always a killer, and I liked the Russian take and atmosphere for a change, I found the movie to be rather sluggish. There's a lot of talking and walking through the hallways with too little excitement or tension, nor did I find everything very credible.Captain Underpants
When the evil head of school wants to seperate two best friends, they hypnotise him so he becomes their comic fantasy Captain Underpants
Wittenberg
09-08-2019
Ok, but a bit timid
Funny and sympathetic, but with a title like that I expected a little more rebellion, wit and anarchy (even if the climax involves a giant toilet).Dead Space: Downfall
Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen
Wittenberg
28-06-2022
A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else
Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.Dragon's Dogma
When his family is killed and his heart is stolen by a dragon, a man embarks on a dangerous journey to get it back and slay the dragon
Wittenberg
26-12-2020
A more than average manga/computergame movie, but still not great
The journey contains some exciting moments, battles with classic mythological beasts and the theme of seven sins gave it some some depth. But the one dimensional and stiff characters aren't helping to feel much empathy for it.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?The Forest
Woman heads off to japan to find her twin sister, who was last seen wandering into suicide forest Aokigahara
Wittenberg
25-09-2016
A missed opportunity
Considering the terrifying setting of the movie, I was quite disappointed that it only had rather mundane, predictable and mostly pointless jump scares to offer. It's not too bad, but hopefully not the final word in movies situated here.Lucid Dream
A man tries to find his kidnapped son by reliving the moment in lucid, and later also shared, dreaming
Wittenberg
28-05-2018
Disappointing
The awesome idea turns out to be mostly a rather plain detective/crime story, and the way the whole dreaming thing was supposed to be working seemed rushed and like they didn't really care too much either.Home Alone 3
This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?
With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.Ichi The Killer
A ganster mob routine of torturing and killing people gets disrupted by a mysterious killer that leaves the rooms soaked in blood and guts
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
A torture movie for research rather than enjoyment
I actually got used to the torture scenes of amputations and various acts with sharp objects. I actually became somewhat interested in, and empathized with, the mysterious killer. But mostly I still felt sick and depressed rather than amused after watching this.Sinister 2
Mother and two sons living in a desolate barnhouse, where something evil lurks and there's a box of old movies in the cellar...
Wittenberg
15-09-2019
The movies in this movie are better than the movie
The gruesome, uncomfortable 8 mm footage and the accompanying haunting music are still the highlights of this franchise. But between those parts, it is filling up time with slightly average horror, a somewhat incomplete story and some predictable jump scares.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.Mutant Girl Squad
A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring
I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.Extracted
A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too
Wittenberg
28-06-2015
Great idea, somewhat dull
A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.Sex Tape
Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
Little more than it's own tagline
Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.Jellyfish Eyes
Boy and his mother move to a place where the children have little creatures, which they can later use against a great danger
Wittenberg
03-09-2023
A unique but ultimately aimless movie
While the bizarre and colorful little monsters projected on a real world provide an original en wholesome experience, I had trouble getting into this movie. It's too childish for adults, but too lifeless and down for children. Not to keen on some of the acting either.Movies found: 1044 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 276 - 375
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