BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Tau
Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows
While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.The Free Fall
After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
Ideas were there, movie making skills were not
Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.Mine
After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert
Wittenberg
10-09-2017
Overreached
A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.3022
The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
Just made it
It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.Sharknado
A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
Succesfully bad
With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.The Tomorrow War
People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
Forgettable and hardly interesting
While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.The Great Wall
Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
A popsicle
It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.Ready Player One
In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
Childish and patronizing fan service
I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem
Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.The Titan
On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
Experiment failed
It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.Hipersomnia
While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
Should have been better
Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas
When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
An unnecessary movie with no audience
If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.Higher Power
A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
subpar until it ends
A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!Zombie Lake
Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
Be ready for the worst and have a good time
Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.Babylon
The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies
I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.12 Strong
Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
Unbelievable
If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.Infinitum: Subject Unknown
In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
Quite plain considering the subject
I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.The Amazing Spider-Man
Man gets spiderpowers and saves the world from lizardman
Wittenberg
21-02-2013
Pretty whatever for someone amazing
Making wisecrack remarks while flying through the air during a live threatening battle - kind or ruined things for me. Lizardman not scary either.Revolt
During a robot invasion, a commando suffering from memory loss teams up up with a woman in trying to survive
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
Compotent but underwhelming
I couldn't quite wrap my head around why I was so underwhelmed by this. Action, FX and story seem ok and I like how it was situated in Africa for a change. I fear the bland, slightly uninteresting main characters might have something to do with it.Heavy Metal
Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
Not aged well
Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.Hitman: Agent 47
Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce
I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"Occhi Chiusi
A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp
With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...Wittenberg
15-04-2015
A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.Michiel de Ruyter
The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
Too presumptuous for it's own good
I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.RockmeNow
24-07-2015
A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting
Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).47 Ronin
A bunch of samurai revenging their master
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be
Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.RockmeNow
06-05-2014
Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie
Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)Wittenberg
30-12-2014
Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Advantageous
Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
Different, interesting but very slow
A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.Barbarouse Mexico
Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
Gritty but pointless
The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.Dark skies
Family is being visited by aliens
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
Greys don't have much to say
Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.Thor The Dark World
Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
Another curious case of stellar looking boredom
I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.Finch
Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
A nice tale that had slightly more potential
It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.Stalingrad
In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat
A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.The Cloverfield Paradox
A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so
Wittenberg
07-02-2018
Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.
An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?Hotel transylvania 2
Will the halfbreed vampire child have vampire abilites? Turmoil in the monster hotel.
Wittenberg
11-12-2015
Like a an amusementpark ride
A very animated, lively fun movie that is cramped with jokes. So much so I thought it was exhaustive and it felt as though the bombardment of jokes was camouflaging the absence of a strong story or characters to bind with. Fun - but instantly forgettable.San Andreas
Dad needs to search and rescue his ex-wife and then his daughter in the aftermath of huge earthquake
Wittenberg
28-02-2016
Too Hollywood
A technically sound, mostly good looking disaster flick, served with the typical cardboard characters, an omnipotent superhero, drenched in a sauce of Hollywood cliches. It ends with them staring across the sunset with an American flag waving nearby. yay!Like Father
When her groom walks out just before the wedding, the bride ends up drunk and taking her long lost dad on the honeymoon trip
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
Nothing stands out
It's got the actors, humor, story line and locations, but all in very restrained, save and average portions, making this a rather average affair. Not bad, but could have used some more spices for my taste.The Darkest Hour
Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
A floating light can only be so scary
The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.Tombraider
Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good
It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.Cidade InvisÃvel
After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
A bit plain
The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.The Taking of Deborah Logan
Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary
This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.The Colony
Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
Frozen B-movie
The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Rampage
Retired military man running a gorilla shelter, must save the city form mutated monster animals.
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
Fine for what it is
Based a a videogame with no story to speak of, this movie came it surprisingly well (as in: this could have been much much worse). It's a mindless but fun action blockbuster like most Dwayne Johnson movies, and it works well enough as long as your expectations are realistic.Casshern
In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it
With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.Archive 18
Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
Not quite
It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.Kong: Skull Island
Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
It's all there but...
Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.The Interview
Dodgy network channel gets the chance to interview the leader of North Korea, and are asked by the CIA to kill him in the progress
Wittenberg
28-02-2015
Another okay-ish comedy
Given the the actors, plot and possibilties, I expected more of this. Besides a few laughs, there's also very long periods with not much in it, and the movie can be hysteric and a bit embarrassing at times.Tetsuo: The Iron Man
A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie
What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.Kin
Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
Too slow and mixed up
Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.The Deep Ones
Couple rents a place by the sea, but the strange hosts soon drag them into strange rituals involving some sea entity (Cthulhu!)
Wittenberg
28-07-2021
Not scary, but perhaps that wasn't the point. An ode to horror?
Acting and camera work is so clunky that it sometimes feels like you're watching porn. But when I also heard the 50's classic 'whistle' mystery music style I began to suspect they were aiming for a certain atmosphere. It sort of works: it's campy and entertaining. But scary or intense, it is notThe Zero Theorem
Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer
Wittenberg
03-10-2014
Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement
The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.Choose or Die
Girl gets caught up in a mysterious vintage game that makes people make horrible choices
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Some entertainment, but not great
For a horror it doesn't really scare much, and overall execution is a little underwhelming. The way the game interacts with the real world seems inconsistent and not very well thought out. But well, there are some new ideas and it does provide some basic amusement value.The Osiris Child
Pilot must save his daughter from a planet overrun by vicious beasts
Wittenberg
08-04-2019
Bits and pieces
At times this has some pretty graphics, some decent acting and some passable action scenes. But if also features some annoying characters to ruin things, and as a whole felt a bit directionless, and empty.Blue is the Warmest Color (La Vie d'Adèle)
Girl becomes lesbian
Wittenberg
21-02-2016
Beautiful but too long and too slow
You have to admire how the gorgeous lead actrices carry this story with beautifully authentic acting. But everything takes so freaking long in this movie, everything is so spread out that in the end even the intimate love scenes started to bore me.Evil Dead (2013)
Kids go into the woods to rehab a friend Then they find a book and unwillingly release hell.
Wittenberg
14-06-2015
Slashing that still leaves you indifferent
As a cabin slasher it appeared solid and effective, yet I couldn't really get scared or excited by it. Characters too dull and silly, story too well known.Mortal Kombat (2021)
Warriors are gathered to fight other warriors in another realm
Wittenberg
19-06-2021
A step closer to a good videogame movie
With a promising beginning, overall high production standards, appearance of several game characters and even some fatalities (which are oddly more gutting in the game than in the movie) this was close to an actual decent game movie. But the dull, flat characters and story again let it down badly.Gerald's Game
In an isolated vacation home, a man ties his wife to the bed for sexy times, then dies of a heartattack
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
Not as unbearable as I hoped for
A bold idea, but the lead actress was unable to convey her dread and dismay to the screen, the dialogue with her 'ghosts' seemed a bit childish and like a play, and the twist at the very end seemed unnecessary and farfetched.The Mist
A mist containing monstrous creatures traps a group of people inside a supermarket
Wittenberg
28-11-2023
Too much cartoon people to be scary
I think it has that distinctive style of Stephen King, featuring a group of various very talkative and exaggerated characters arguing and contemplating as they face this ordeal. Almost like watching a play. Somehow it drains most of the tension, and left me slightly amused rather than scared.Approaching the Unknown
A skilled engineer and solo astronaut must handle numerous challenges during his the voyage to Mars
Wittenberg
03-11-2016
Sober scifi with a few letdowns.
It has a lot going for it, like a nice techy (but not necessarily realistic) theme and a pleasant, sober approach that doesn't do cheap thrills. On the downside, the main actor is not really sympathetic, and the single 'capcom' guy plainly sitting behind a desk was just silly and cheap.Bad Biology
Nymphomaniac with multiple clitori crosses path with a guy who's overgrown penis has a mind of it's own. Not porn. I think.
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Weird filth that does what it wants and I commend them for it
This was sort of rebellious and liberating in a way, but perhaps that's just because I watched too many generic and formulaic Hollywood movies lately. Sure it is bad, trashy and bizarre, but somehow it doesn't care and I sort of enjoyed the audacity of it.Demonic
Woman is asked to communicate with her comatose mother in a 'simulation', but awakens demonic evil in doing so
Wittenberg
31-10-2021
Fresh, but should have been better
It's a nifty combination of tech, occult and horror and I liked it. It's just unfortunate that it failed to really make an impression or become really scary. Like the story required some more twists and layers, and should have 'aged' more before making the movie.Homunculus
A man agrees to have a hole drilled in his head, after which he can see manifestations people's inner selves
Wittenberg
07-05-2023
Great idea, executed so-so
It focuses more on psychological drama than horror of science fiction, and rightly so. It's an exciting concept that unfortunately doesn't really take off. The characters are not really likeable, and the story is a bit of hit and miss. One of those movies you think could have been much better.Nude Nuns with Big Guns
After being sold an abused as a sex slave, a nun sets out to take revenge.
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
Nice and campy
Much like Tarantino movies, it shamelessly celebrates campy, violent, badly acted, poorly edited movies taking please in sweaty Mexican style landscapes. It does so quite well, but it also doesn't do much more than that. And the guns weren't that big either.Sully
On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
Over dramatized
The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
Tiresome spectacle
A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.Oculus
Brother and sister try to get even with a mysticial mirror that causes supernatural drama and terror in their childhood
Wittenberg
21-09-2014
Some scares, a lot of annoyances
They sure know how to do good scares, and there's some nice ideas for the story framework as well. But the present-past alternations gets tiresome quickly, and I was totally put off by the analytical, cold and utterly unconvincing attitude and going-about of the (present day) sister.Maleficent
The fairytale of sleeping beauty with a few of twists added
Wittenberg
24-11-2015
Beautiful fairytale without impact
At times pleasing to look at, and Jolie is excellent as well. But it combines mystery, children's humor and more darker tones, resulting in a movie that fails to leave a lasting impression in any of these fields.Death Note
Dude finds a book in which he can write down the name of people he wants dead. And it works too.
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
Somewhat refreshing but not quite terrifying
Never seen the manga it was based on, so I can't comment on that. I thought it was a reasonably fresh horror with some new ideas and twists that make it worthwhile, but the atmosphere was not menacing or scary; It was reminiscent of the Gremlins and Critters-style 'fun' horror, suitable for minors.Anomalisa
The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel
Wittenberg
08-04-2018
Unique but a bit minimal
The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on themRebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire
Peaceful farmers start a rebellion against a spaceorder threatining their way of life, starting of with recruiting members from across the galaxy
Wittenberg
23-12-2023
Pretty but lacking interesting characters or plot
On the face of it an impressive epic with neat designs and visuals, but most characters are very flat comicbook archetypes, the story was lacking and felt overfamiliar at places. I'll watch the sequels, but probably won't remember this at all when they arrive.Iron Sky
Not realizing the war is over, the nazis on the dark side of the moon are preparing an invasion of earth
Wittenberg
09-02-2014
They should have gone crazier
Smart ideas and very smart looks, but ultimately it lacks the inspiration to really succeed as either a comedy or action adventure. A b-ish flavour remains. They should have gone whack.Dos
Man and woman wake up in a strange hotelroom, with their belly's sewn together
Wittenberg
20-12-2021
Tasteful, but ultimately doesn't make the impression it could
Despite the horrible premise, it stays away from torture porn or excessive gore, focusing instead of the story and mystery of how this came to be. It certainly kept me keen to find out, but performances, the story or big reveal all were a bit mellow to me, leaving me slightly underwhelmed.The Uninvited
After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
Story is good, other aspects lacking
The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.Selva trágica
Woman escapes into the jungle from her husband where she is found by a group of rubber farmers
Wittenberg
19-06-2021
You may get several things out of it, but not a lot from each
Is it an adventure movie? An ode to nature? A mystical odyssey? A story about women devouring men? A documentary about rubber harvesting? A little bit of everything I guess, but not really shining in any. A bit static, thin on emotional involvement and abruptly ended.Project Almanac
Students built a timemachine
Wittenberg
27-09-2015
Lacks inspirantion or a smart story
They have something going on at first, then all they do with the machine is go back in time to party and solve tedious adolescence problems. By the time tampering-with-time troubles finally start, I was kind of done with it.The Wolverine
Wolverine visits an dying admirer in Japan, but gets caught up in evil plans (and ninja's)
Wittenberg
01-12-2013
Grumpiness in Japan
It's not bad, but it is let down by too many slow scenes, a constantly grumpy staring Wolverine (yes we get it, he is a lonesome tormented hero!) and a story that feels like you have seen it many times before.Transcendence
The soul of a murdered AI scientist is transfered into the system. Will he play nice?
Wittenberg
21-12-2014
Underwhelmed
This subject is right up my alley, but this movie is not. The conversations are a bit gibberish, the science lazy, the action misplaced.Passengers
On a hightech spaceship carrying 5000 cryosleeping persons to a new earth, one of them wakes up 90 years too early
Wittenberg
22-04-2017
A flawed love story
If found the idea more interesting than execution, which suffers from rather flat, over-directed characters trying to deliver what is eventually a love story in space. The tech/thrills near the end felt rushed and lazy.Rogue
A group of tourists is terrorized by a huge croc in the Australian outback
Wittenberg
31-10-2019
zap resistant
It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it was component enough to keep us watching as we unintentionally zapped into this. It successfully stays away from trying to be campy or deliberately bad, even if the source material could make it tempting to do so.No Hard Feelings
A girl gets a car - if she dates an undatable
Wittenberg
28-01-2024
Another fine romcom with not much else
It's good for a few laughs and some well dosed emotional depth. But that, unfortunately, seems to be the review I end up writing every freaking 'romcom' out there. I wish it would have found away to rise above this.Good Kill
Pilot of unmaned drones is not happy with it's job
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
unfocused and over-edited
I was getting tired quickly of the whining that killing terrorists with a drone apparently isn't exciting enough for these people, and confused because then they start crying because the suddenly have moral conflict with it. Then there's the stiff dialogue and suspiciously insubordinate procedures.Velvett Buzzsaw
A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
Too sterile to make me care
I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.Stealth
Three pilots in super modern jets must deal wih a fourth, unmanned sleathy jet.
Wittenberg
07-04-2013
Saved by coolness
Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through the jetfighter-movie cliches and flawed characters and plot, this movie is saved partially by some decent action scenes and cool moments.Monsters of Man
Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place
Wittenberg
26-07-2021
A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones
Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.The Mountain Between Us
Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
Yeh sort of works
Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.Older Gods
A man retreats into a house to study the mysterious legacy of his friend, involving something larger than us, even larger than God
Wittenberg
12-10-2023
A decent cosmic horror, lacking some weight
These low budget movies have no choice but being a slow burner, but that need not be a problem if the story supports it. And well, I was quite interested to see where this was going and appreciated the ideas. Ultimately though, it was a little too thin and minimalistic to really leave a mark.The Void
Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless
A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.Sand Castle
Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
it's got the stuff but not the story
They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.The Lost City
Author of classic adventure romans novels suddenly get involved in a real, treasure-finding adventure - with her cocktaildress still on
Wittenberg
06-11-2022
Good fun, but not great
The combination of slapstick humor and classic Indy mystery and adventures still works for me. But the movie seems self aware of it's simple goals, making it a bit lazy. The jokes are a bit insecure and over the top, the adventure a bit anti climactic, the romance not really tangible.Independence Day: Resurgence
Mankind has had a major tech and weapons upgrade, but will it be enough to counter a second alien invasion?
Wittenberg
11-07-2016
Leave brain at home
I guess it rightfully is the brainless over-the-top popcorn scifi movie it needs to be, so that it doesn't need to make excuses for being shallow, stupid and hardly exiting. Fun, but ultimately I find these movies less and less satisfying. Couple of days later, I have already forgotten most of it.Bokeh
Two lovers on a vaction in Iceland one day wake up to find they're all alone
Wittenberg
09-12-2017
Sympathetic and pretty, but runs out of fuel
Starts of fine with beautiful shots of Iceland, moody music, sympathetic actors and by keeping everything small and intimate. But gradually, the 'pretty scenes with music' start to feel like pointless fillers, and I think it tried to say something religious but I am not sure what.Next
A guy can see two minutes into the future, which brings him into trouble when he is asked to help prevent a terrorist attack
Wittenberg
20-12-2014
Idea not fully utilized
It's a nice idea that provides some fair entertainment. But a nuclear terrorist attack is not the most inspirational thing they could have done with it. The 'gift' soon becomes gimmicky and the story a little standard.Black Snake Moan
When a devout Christan, ex-blues musician, finds an unconscious nymphomanic girl on his street, he takes her in to learn her better ways
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
I saw through it
Maybe I was in a bad mood or something, but it felt a bit phony and forced down your throat: Their developing friendship, the characters, the Southern blues atmosphere - all so self-aware and self-content. Still, with these actors, there is plenty left to enjoy.Jarhead 2: Field of Fire
Supply mission in Afghanistan turns bad and turns into a mission of a very different nature
Wittenberg
02-11-2014
ok-ish, next time believe in yourself
It's not a bad war movie. It is, however, a little too preoccupied with setting up mandatory warmovie cliches and visuals, and showing how great and fun the military is. The Taliban apparently also have serious aiming issues.Cryptozoo
Animation about a zoo housing cryptoid creatures, bad people that want them dead and good people trying ot protect them
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
Great for it's uniqeness, but utlimately a flawed trip
I wanted to like this more, with it's bold ideas, pleasantly strange story and willful drawings. I can see how people describe it as beautiful, but I could also make the case that it can look pretty crude an amateuristic at times. Everyone also seems a bit high and slow, making me sleepy eyed.Dumb and Dumber To
They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
Below par
It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.The Mandalorain, season 3
Mando and friends try to reclaim and reinhabit their homeworld
Wittenberg
05-05-2023
Kind of done with this, but very pretty nonetheless
I am done with the dumb-ass, endlessly repeated creed, the preposterous helmet policy (yet still they celebrate with diner?), and once you have mini Mandalorians with mini mando-helmets you're killing lore. And yet, this series still excels at showing many Starwars elements in all of their glory.Videodrome
In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on
It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.Calvaire
A man seek shelter at a French auberge, which turns horrific when the owner strats to claim him as if he were someone else.
Wittenberg
20-07-2023
Nasty, but not in a good way
There's potential here for quiet a nasty, slowly consuming horror/thriller - you might even say it is one. But for me personally, I found the protagonist too stiff, everything a bit filthy and weird so it was hard to feel involved or empathize about it.Creepozoids
A group of deserted soldiers (?) in a post nucelar world hide in a lab, but there even bigger dangers await
Wittenberg
03-04-2024
A bad movie the way I like 'em
Poor effects, attacking rat puppets that move only because the actors handles them, a nonsensical story, unnecessary nudity and people running through the same hallways over and over. And that's just for starters. But it's all quite quirky and amusing.Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 251 - 350
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