BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
The Hangover III
The wolfpack gets involved in crazy mafia adventures yet again, but this time they're sober
Wittenberg
07-02-2016
I felt cheated
The 'what the hell happened last night' joke may have been running out of fuel. But as I watched the half-baked comedy that remained without it, I couldn't help but feel cheated.3022
The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
Just made it
It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.The Great Wall
Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
A popsicle
It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.Ready Player One
In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
Childish and patronizing fan service
I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?The Tomorrow War
People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
Forgettable and hardly interesting
While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.Neighbors
Young couple with a baby has a fraternity move in next door. The war begins
Wittenberg
15-03-2015
Watching people having fun wasn't much fun
The lead actors put in a lot of energy and effort into it, but cannot save this mediocre comedy with a shortage of good jokes. The endless fraternity partying and self-contempted mayhem was rather exhausting to me.Hipersomnia
While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
Should have been better
Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.The Titan
On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
Experiment failed
It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.Occhi Chiusi
A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp
With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.12 Strong
Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
Unbelievable
If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.Infinitum: Subject Unknown
In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
Quite plain considering the subject
I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.Higher Power
A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
subpar until it ends
A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!Revolt
During a robot invasion, a commando suffering from memory loss teams up up with a woman in trying to survive
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
Compotent but underwhelming
I couldn't quite wrap my head around why I was so underwhelmed by this. Action, FX and story seem ok and I like how it was situated in Africa for a change. I fear the bland, slightly uninteresting main characters might have something to do with it.Seventh Son
In medieval times, a ghost hunter requires the help of a seventh son (of a seventh son) in order to defeat an escaped witch with evil plans.
Wittenberg
24-01-2016
It's missing factor X
It's all here; bold adventure, dazzling fantasy, witches, dragons, romance, fine effects and music, and amusing performances. But somehow it is all a bit flat, fails to excite or take you along for the ride. Maybe it's exactly this mandatory fantasy mixture that makes it feel formulaic.Heavy Metal
Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
Not aged well
Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.Encanto
All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Objectively great, subjectively exhausting
With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
A rather tired bulge of more Starwars
It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
The chipmunks fear that their dad's love interest might lead him to abandon them, so they set out to sabotage the engagement.
Wittenberg
06-03-2016
Ok for kids. An endurancetest for adults.
Sure, it's an uncomplicated fun adventure, kids will get some fun out of it, and let's not forget the effects blending so seamlessly we don't even notice them anymore. But a kids movie equally suitable for adults, this is not.House of 1000 Corpses
Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way
Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"There's Something Wrong With the Children
Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
Not intense or scary enough
The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem
Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.Beyond Skyline
Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
Strange mixture
An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.The Silent Sea
In a water-deprived future, a team flies to the moon to retrieve a mysterious sample from an abondened base that may hold the key to a sollution
Wittenberg
24-01-2022
Some baseline enterntainment but full of problems
As a scifi fan I could get some enjoyment out of this, but it wasn't easy. We have another unlikely crew handling everything rather unprofessionally, the dialogue has oodles of 'naaaah' moments, the story felt broken and actress Doona sucks the life out of it with her apathetic and depressing style.Zoolander 2
Derek has retreated and gone out of fashion, but must come back into action to save his son
Wittenberg
26-12-2016
Not up to their potential
I dig the whacky Zoolander world and humor, but unfortunately this story was too formulaic and good jokes too scarce.The Accountant
Autistic man has a special talent for accounting, and appearantly for some darker activities as well
Wittenberg
02-01-2019
Too far-fetched
This didn't really connect with me. The story is way too far-fetched, made-up and over the top to be taken seriously, and it dwells in the tiresome notion that autistic people must have superpowers.Star Trek Beyond
A brute force enemy causes the Enterprise to crashland. The survivors must find away to release the hostages and prevent further mayhem
Wittenberg
24-04-2017
Awkward and off
The scenes of destruction are mighty, but overall this really felt off. They totally overdid the constant humor which started to feel like slapstick. The story and events also felt awkward and cheesy like the original series, with embarrassing scenes like driving around a motorbike to divert aliensPhantom
Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
Good intentions drowned in mistakes
Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!Hitman: Agent 47
Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce
I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"Noise
When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge
Wittenberg
22-03-2023
ok but lots of loose ends
Although we liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and decent characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.Time Trap
When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere
I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.Pet Semetary (2019)
A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
not scary enough, too little to standout
While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.A Million Ways to Die in the West
Out of place cowboy is dumped by his true love, but gets unexpected help to win her back
Wittenberg
01-03-2015
Why the story?
Come on people! Why didn't they just parody the hell out of western movies in true McFarlane style? An ineffective mix of some brutal and bold humor drowned in an uninteresting and righteous love story.Exists
Them kids in a cabin in the woods are terrorized my Bigfoot. All caught with found footage.
Wittenberg
16-04-2016
Average, quite unoriginal stuff
The more we get to see this creature, the less scary it becomes. And for Christs sake, does it always have to be teenage stoners who experience this stuff? And they brought how many camera's? Sit with the other average found footage horror movies please.Control
Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
Lacks excitement or ideas
While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.This is the End
Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
Mostly self absorbed
The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.Blackhat
In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Nicely shot nonsense
It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.Make My Day
A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
Poor characters and story
While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.Captive State
An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
Average
Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.Curvature
A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
Too flawed to make the story come alive
I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.Harbinger Down
Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts
Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.V/H/S 2
Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
lacks inspiration
It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.Sharknado
A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
Succesfully bad
With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.Romina
Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
Spoils itself
The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.Glass
A researcher investigates the credibility and actual superpowers of the superhero's from Unbreakable and Split
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
Ultimately a failed attempt to prolong this
The story provides a potentially clever reason to bring these people together and add a twist to the story, but mostly it feels like everybody was dragged in front of the camera again, the "research" was laughable and I still hate MPD - it is so embarrassing to look at, not scary at all.Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas
When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
An unnecessary movie with no audience
If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.Outside the Wire
After neglecting an order, a drone pilot is send to join a mysterious supersoldier on a dangerous quest
Wittenberg
23-01-2021
Tries to be something it's not
With military action and gun-toting robots, this ought to has been my thing. But I was quiet disappointed. Mostly because they talk tough and say deep things, but it all falls completely flat. It's just trying too hard to be cool and relevant without following up on it.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.The Witcher season 2
The witcher is training the princess he protects, but her powers become more and more concerning
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
It's now soap
I still like the Witcher atmosphere, and sure there are some memorable moments to be found. But mostly I found season 2 remarkably tedious and empty. The main culprit is the oddly soapy style of storytelling, with endless conversations between people doing bizarre strolls through hallways.Zombie Lake
Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
Be ready for the worst and have a good time
Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.Spectral
Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
Decent ingredients but no cake
This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)Wittenberg
30-12-2014
Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Michiel de Ruyter
The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
Too presumptuous for it's own good
I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.RockmeNow
24-07-2015
A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting
Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).47 Ronin
A bunch of samurai revenging their master
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be
Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.RockmeNow
06-05-2014
Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie
Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...Wittenberg
15-04-2015
A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.A Scanner Darkly
Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
Less than meets the eye
The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)Rambo Last Blood
Retired in Texas, Rambo must come back into action once more when bad stuff happens to his stepdaugther
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Not the right rambo movie for me
I can see what they were going for, but this didn't feel quite right to me. I need him to be in the jungle operating big guns - not walking through nightclubs and brothels. The final showdown was uninspired and disappointing too, as everyone simply walked into the traps and that was that.Nude Nuns with Big Guns
After being sold an abused as a sex slave, a nun sets out to take revenge.
Wittenberg
10-04-2016
Nice and campy
Much like Tarantino movies, it shamelessly celebrates campy, violent, badly acted, poorly edited movies taking please in sweaty Mexican style landscapes. It does so quite well, but it also doesn't do much more than that. And the guns weren't that big either.Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Batman hates Superman for the havoc he inflicted battling Zod, and Lex adds to the misery by creating another supevillain. And also...
Wittenberg
04-09-2016
Tiresome spectacle
A very well made, mostly good looking superhero epic that nevertheless failed to fully make an impression. It was exhaustively messy and cramped, incoherent and sort of depressing. I found Batman totally unlikable and his hatred towards Superman felt forced.Maleficent
The fairytale of sleeping beauty with a few of twists added
Wittenberg
24-11-2015
Beautiful fairytale without impact
At times pleasing to look at, and Jolie is excellent as well. But it combines mystery, children's humor and more darker tones, resulting in a movie that fails to leave a lasting impression in any of these fields.Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Tries everything except being scary or exciting
Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.Swiss Army Man
A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts
I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.The Liberator
A squad comprised out of people from very different backgrounds fighting in the second World War.
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Looks unqiue, but it's not quite there
The half-drawing, half real-life filter make it look unique, and is a great idea for making epic scenes on a lower budget. The action scenes were good, but the dialogue not so much, and it frequently does emotional and sensitive dives which I found a bit forced and cliched.Play Dead
A girl fakes death to get into a morgue, where she needs to retrieve evidence against her brother. But there is unsuspected danger inside.
Wittenberg
11-11-2023
Maybe too long and too unlikely, but still a thrilling ride
The premise and story are far-fetched, and I thought the acting lacked finesse. But this still manages to roll out quite an exciting, pretty tense thriller/horror for the most part. Unfortunately it drags on for too long, becomes tiring and even more implausible. Still, enjoyable stuff.Peppermint
When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own
Wittenberg
03-03-2019
Exchanging the sexes isn't enough
This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.Project Almanac
Students built a timemachine
Wittenberg
27-09-2015
Lacks inspirantion or a smart story
They have something going on at first, then all they do with the machine is go back in time to party and solve tedious adolescence problems. By the time tampering-with-time troubles finally start, I was kind of done with it.Mulholland Drive
Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
Should have triggered me, but didn't
The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.Thor The Dark World
Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
Another curious case of stellar looking boredom
I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.Finch
Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
A nice tale that had slightly more potential
It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.Stalingrad
In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat
A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.Snatched
When noone's left to join a womans non-refundable trip to Ecuador, all that's left is her mother.
Wittenberg
01-04-2018
Fine, could have done with more Amy mayhem
I like Amy Schumer, and she lifts this one above the overpopulated 'amusing comedy with a few laugh out loud moments' - but not by much. Almost as though she held back a bit.Good Kill
Pilot of unmaned drones is not happy with it's job
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
unfocused and over-edited
I was getting tired quickly of the whining that killing terrorists with a drone apparently isn't exciting enough for these people, and confused because then they start crying because the suddenly have moral conflict with it. Then there's the stiff dialogue and suspiciously insubordinate procedures.The Consecration
A woman travels to a monastry to investigate the mysterious death of her brother
Wittenberg
01-05-2023
Lacked impact, but ended well
The ending and big reveal near the end are pretty good, but the movie really has trouble getting there. It was a bit unlikely, flat and lifeless, and failed to harvest the creepiness of monasteries and it's rituals. She didn't even react to those nuns lying on the floor, for crying out loud!Dark skies
Family is being visited by aliens
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
Greys don't have much to say
Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.Split
Three girls are kidnapped by a man with multiple identities
Wittenberg
28-05-2017
Multiple Personality Disorder annoys me more than it scares me
Frankly, I was somewhat bored and agitated by the multiple identities, especially the laughable behavior of the supposed 9 year old. Apart from the identities there's wasn't much in there, nor did I find it very particularly scary. It's okay, but underwhelming.The Darkest Hour
Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
A floating light can only be so scary
The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.What Happened to Monday?
In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?
Wittenberg
12-05-2019
Gimmicky
While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.Archive 18
Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
Not quite
It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver
The assembled squad must now defend the farmers against the evil space people
Wittenberg
21-04-2024
A failure with some nice looking stuff here and there
In the end there was some satisfying space warfare porn, and I like how this movie has it's own distinct look. But other than that this is such a strange failure. 100% flat characters, cringy lines, kitschy slowmotion scenes of grain harvesting, and an overall sluggishness woven throughout it all.Independence Day: Resurgence
Mankind has had a major tech and weapons upgrade, but will it be enough to counter a second alien invasion?
Wittenberg
11-07-2016
Leave brain at home
I guess it rightfully is the brainless over-the-top popcorn scifi movie it needs to be, so that it doesn't need to make excuses for being shallow, stupid and hardly exiting. Fun, but ultimately I find these movies less and less satisfying. Couple of days later, I have already forgotten most of it.Doors
Four individual stories that take place on earth where mysterious a substance known as doors make people dissappear
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Pleasantly weird (but not great)
The overall experience isn't great. It lacks emotional involvement or a clear story a character to hang on to. Like the makers didn't quite understand it either. But there's something sympathetic about it. I like the effects, and it is kind of pleasantly weird, doing it's own thing in a ballsy way.The Colony
Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...
Wittenberg
25-01-2014
Frozen B-movie
The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.Tetsuo: The Iron Man
A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie
What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.The Zero Theorem
Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer
Wittenberg
03-10-2014
Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement
The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.Downsizing
Couple decides to shrink and live in a world or other shrunk people, in pursuit of happiness and for sustainability of earth
Wittenberg
22-12-2019
Disappointing second half
Up until they are shrunk, this is set up really nicely, putting in effort to make this idea work and making me eager to find out what's next. But then the story takes a u-turn with a slightly whiny, society critical theme, a horribly overacting Vietnamese, all making the smallness sort of pointless.Choose or Die
Girl gets caught up in a mysterious vintage game that makes people make horrible choices
Wittenberg
21-05-2022
Some entertainment, but not great
For a horror it doesn't really scare much, and overall execution is a little underwhelming. The way the game interacts with the real world seems inconsistent and not very well thought out. But well, there are some new ideas and it does provide some basic amusement value.Mutant Girl Squad
A girl with a mutated knive hand joins a group of other mutant girls to make a stand to those who oppose them
Wittenberg
28-04-2023
Outrageously extreme yet still slightly boring
I really wanted to like this more, as it is a deliciously bizarre Powerrangers with gore, fountains of blood and insane mutations like a chainsaw tentacle coming from someone's butt. Fantastic anarchy, but I also noticed it is utterly flat and empty, making me forget this movie in mere days.Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
Superwarriors defend the good people from the bad people who are after the crystal that empowers the good people
Wittenberg
06-06-2023
A strange but not necessarily tasty mix
Unfamiliar with the Final Fantasy lore, I needed some time to digest the mix of knights driving Audi's in a futuristic world. I liked some of the designs though, and halfway through the story got pretty exciting. But ultimately, the confusing action scenes and hollow characters didn't do it for me.Dumb and Dumber To
They are on the road again, this time to find a new kidney
Wittenberg
22-02-2015
Below par
It's slightly entertaining and slightly comical. But for a movie with a legacy like this, that is not enough and a bit disappointing. I'd say there were about 5 really great jokes. Harry and Lloyd's attitude is also kind of mean and nasty, rather than ignorant and clueless, which tasted funny to me.The Days
Series about the Fukushima disaster
Wittenberg
20-02-2024
Surely this was more nerve wrecking?
We followed this series with interest, but it felt like it failed to capture the terrifying race against time this must have been. There's a lot of staring, sitting around, hesitation and discussion. An on-point observation about Japanese culture perhaps, but I wonder if it went this way.Jellyfish Eyes
Boy and his mother move to a place where the children have little creatures, which they can later use against a great danger
Wittenberg
03-09-2023
A unique but ultimately aimless movie
While the bizarre and colorful little monsters projected on a real world provide an original en wholesome experience, I had trouble getting into this movie. It's too childish for adults, but too lifeless and down for children. Not to keen on some of the acting either.Bait
After a tsunami wave, a group of people get trapped in a flooded building with freaking sharks in the water
Wittenberg
15-11-2015
Amazingly ok
Amazingly, this movie takes its story rather serious, instead of trying to mock itself and attempting to get by with being an unpretentious B-movie. Even more amazingly, it indeed manages to be fairly entertaining and worthwhile. It's still a move a about sharks in the supermarket though!Ichi The Killer
A ganster mob routine of torturing and killing people gets disrupted by a mysterious killer that leaves the rooms soaked in blood and guts
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
A torture movie for research rather than enjoyment
I actually got used to the torture scenes of amputations and various acts with sharp objects. I actually became somewhat interested in, and empathized with, the mysterious killer. But mostly I still felt sick and depressed rather than amused after watching this.Unicorn Wars
Adult animation about colorful bears slaying their sworn enemy: unicorns
Wittenberg
15-01-2024
Irresitable concept but hard to like
The bizarre story and bloody cartoon violence promised a unique experience, but I found the bears too unlikable and too annoying for this, so it was hard to live the moment with them. The finale partially makes up for it, offering something of a more profound experience.Bad Biology
Nymphomaniac with multiple clitori crosses path with a guy who's overgrown penis has a mind of it's own. Not porn. I think.
Wittenberg
22-08-2021
Weird filth that does what it wants and I commend them for it
This was sort of rebellious and liberating in a way, but perhaps that's just because I watched too many generic and formulaic Hollywood movies lately. Sure it is bad, trashy and bizarre, but somehow it doesn't care and I sort of enjoyed the audacity of it.Sense8
Group of people who can sense each others senses across the world, work together to fight those that oppose them
Wittenberg
17-07-2021
Too long for it's own good
After some getting into, the concept becomes quite amusing, even with the odd mixture of campy humor, LHTBQ erotica and bloody violence. But halfway season two it gets tiresome and drags on, and the way their combined skills get them out of heated situations becomes gimmicky. Did not finish.She Will
Older moviestar and her nurse go to a secluded place to recover, but the spirit of witchcraft still lingers there
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
Great atmosphere, lacking story
It laid down a promising groundwork for a modern witchcraft tale, but I felt it ran out of ideas and became a somewhat uneventful movie not really going anywhere, and without a satisfying ending.After Yang
A man tries to get his broken droid and familymember fixed, and finds out a deeper level in it than he realized
Wittenberg
08-11-2023
Atmospheric but ultimately too thin
Saturated with a mellow and melancholic atmosphere that almost gets you in a dreamy state as well. I appreciative how it's more of a wandering, soul-searching sort of poetry than a clear-cut story, but ultimately I found it too thin on substance to make a lasting impression.Lucid Dream
A man tries to find his kidnapped son by reliving the moment in lucid, and later also shared, dreaming
Wittenberg
28-05-2018
Disappointing
The awesome idea turns out to be mostly a rather plain detective/crime story, and the way the whole dreaming thing was supposed to be working seemed rushed and like they didn't really care too much either.Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 221 - 320
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