BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Spectral
Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
Decent ingredients but no cake
This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.Deadpool 2
Deadpool looses his wife and wants to protect some kid
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
Lacks substance, just gags
The cynical nature of Deadpool and the kitsch, over-elaborate fighting scenes are the real aces of this movie, but after a while it gets exhausting and overdone, and with only a rather vague and messy story to fall back on I found myself strangely bored for the amount of stuff that goes on.Zathura
Jumanji in space
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
Lacking that extra something
This may appeal to a younger audience, but overall I felt it wasn't quite there. Actors are a bit lifeless, jokes fall flat, scenes drag on for too long. It's fine, but missing the spark, magic, wit or funfactor to make it appeal to a broader audience.Make My Day
A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
Poor characters and story
While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.Control
Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
Lacks excitement or ideas
While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.White House Down
Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent
Wittenberg
23-10-2013
Quality goes down too
Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.Sausage Party
Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
Funny idea with too little good jokes
I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Deathgasm
Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil
Wittenberg
12-06-2022
Go harder
I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.Game Over, Man
Three stoned failure teenagers work as housekeepers in a hotel when it gets sieged. Will they save the day
Wittenberg
16-01-2021
Mostly a bad taste teenager flick
For some reason I thought this would rise above standard teenage, bad-taste material through better jokes, better humor and plenty of gore to spice things up. But it hardly does so, it really is mostly bad taste teenager flick with perhaps a handful of laugh out moments.Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem
Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.Dark Shadows
Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring
Wittenberg
30-12-2013
Surprisingly boring
Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.Planes
Planes flying around in the world of Cars (1)
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
What it needs to be
Not much in the way of originality, but adept at telling an effective, colorful and easy to follow story for the target audience.RockmeNow
29-11-2013
Planes flying around, that's about it
Ok, so it looks like the world of Cars (1), but with planes in it, which could be entertaining. But actually it is not, since they forgot to write a decent story. Too bad...Space Sweepers
Space scavengers find a girl that is also bomb, which marks the beginning of a wild ride
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
Could have been fresh, but gave a headache instead
While I like the designs, FX and fresh vibe, I found it hard to get into the restless and erratic style of the movie, and didn't attach to any of the cartoonish, one-dimensional characters.The Shadow Effect
Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?
Wittenberg
25-11-2017
Only just above B level
It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.The Wandering Earth
Earth is equiped with huge thrusters to fly it to a new habitable galaxy, but the journey knows many dangers
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
The Chinese are starting to copy the wrong things
I can appreciate huge production values as well as the story, but the execution is chaotic, at times incomprehensible and sadly felt like the Chinese are now emulating the wrong Hollywood kitsch and cliches. It felt like a Chinese Armageddon clone.Replicas
When a memory transfer scientist looses his entire family in a car crash, he attempts to get them back by cloning them, including their mind
Wittenberg
11-08-2019
Mostly a missed opportunity
It's a good idea but never really takes off. Everyone seems disconnected and indifferent about what's going on, it lacks the eerie or fascinating ambience I would expect with a story like this, and it has got one of those annoying air computer interfaces, operated by ridiculous hand movements.Hitman: Agent 47
Evil coorporation plans to revive a program for superhuman killers, but they have to deal with an earlier 'model' of superagent trying to stop them.
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Some cool action served in a tired Hollywood sauce
I sort of get the cool and stylish action scenes in here, but it is hard to enjoy them given the the over the top coincidental story and one-dimensional people speaking Hollywood gibberish, like "Sometimes when I can't sleep, I like to take things apart"The Last Voyage of the Demeter
A ship transports a doomed cargo from Transalvania to London.
Wittenberg
10-09-2023
Lacks inpsiration or surprises
Everything is there for a genuinely creepy experience: A mysterious monster, a squeaky wooden ship and gloomy dark seas. Yet I wasn't scared by it, perhaps even a little indifferent. There's something too modern about the style, and a lack of surprises or connection with the characters.Errementari
Misunderstood and isolated, a blacksmith is keeping a hellish demon in captivity when a little girl enters his property
Wittenberg
28-10-2018
Too much like a musical
The style and dialogues are very overdone and overacted. This may give the movie a unique, almost musical play vibe to it, but it also means that is a bit dopey at times and not really scary either. I liked the Dante-proof scenes of hell near the end though.Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger
Wittenberg
10-08-2019
Hit and miss. Loads of them.
I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.A Million Ways to Die in the West
Out of place cowboy is dumped by his true love, but gets unexpected help to win her back
Wittenberg
01-03-2015
Why the story?
Come on people! Why didn't they just parody the hell out of western movies in true McFarlane style? An ineffective mix of some brutal and bold humor drowned in an uninteresting and righteous love story.Exists
Them kids in a cabin in the woods are terrorized my Bigfoot. All caught with found footage.
Wittenberg
16-04-2016
Average, quite unoriginal stuff
The more we get to see this creature, the less scary it becomes. And for Christs sake, does it always have to be teenage stoners who experience this stuff? And they brought how many camera's? Sit with the other average found footage horror movies please.Blackhat
In order to combat cyber assaults on a powerplant and the stockmarket, the FBI calls in the help of an incarcerated superhacker
Wittenberg
02-08-2016
Nicely shot nonsense
It looks and sounds slick, but it is ruined by a lazy, romanticized and dumped-down Hollywood view of 'hacking' and a miscasted pretty boy as a hacker. Also, the hacker apparently was allowed to engage in FBI activities like shooting, fighting and pursuit. Preposterous.Bloodshot
Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
Lacks characters to make it work
With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.Encanto
All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
Objectively great, subjectively exhausting
With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.Let Her Out
Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over
Wittenberg
25-02-2019
Doesn't do itself justice
The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
A rather tired bulge of more Starwars
It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.This is the End
Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
Mostly self absorbed
The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
Lacks in too many areas to make it work
The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.House of 1000 Corpses
Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way
Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.3022
The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
Just made it
It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.Khanzab
A girl tries to solve the mystery of her father's violent death, and black magic curse surrounding her family
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
Good scares for some scenes, but not an entire movie
I was looking forward to experiencing the Indonesian take on horror. There are some moods and scenes that are quite intense, but they repeated until they loose their effectiveness. The story gets quite messy and the spirits pop in like puppets a haunted house at the fair.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
I thought it'd be warmer
The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.The Tomorrow War
People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
Forgettable and hardly interesting
While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.Hipersomnia
While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
Should have been better
Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.Hippopotamus
With no memory, a girl awakens in a room with a man telling her she can't leave until she loves him
Wittenberg
10-12-2023
A fair puzzler missing class
Nothing wrong with these low budget movies in a single location, where you'll grow eager to find out how it all came to be. The story is also reasonably well thought out and offers some layers near the end. But I found both the actors and direction missing intensity and depth.12 Strong
Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
Unbelievable
If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.Infinitum: Subject Unknown
In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
Quite plain considering the subject
I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.Higher Power
A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
subpar until it ends
A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!Tau
Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows
While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.The Silent Sea
In a water-deprived future, a team flies to the moon to retrieve a mysterious sample from an abondened base that may hold the key to a sollution
Wittenberg
24-01-2022
Some baseline enterntainment but full of problems
As a scifi fan I could get some enjoyment out of this, but it wasn't easy. We have another unlikely crew handling everything rather unprofessionally, the dialogue has oodles of 'naaaah' moments, the story felt broken and actress Doona sucks the life out of it with her apathetic and depressing style.Mine
After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert
Wittenberg
10-09-2017
Overreached
A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.Heavy Metal
Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
Not aged well
Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.The Great Wall
Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
A popsicle
It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.Ready Player One
In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
Childish and patronizing fan service
I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?Phantom
Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
Good intentions drowned in mistakes
Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!The Titan
On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
Experiment failed
It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.The Free Fall
After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
Ideas were there, movie making skills were not
Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.Revolt
During a robot invasion, a commando suffering from memory loss teams up up with a woman in trying to survive
Wittenberg
07-10-2018
Compotent but underwhelming
I couldn't quite wrap my head around why I was so underwhelmed by this. Action, FX and story seem ok and I like how it was situated in Africa for a change. I fear the bland, slightly uninteresting main characters might have something to do with it.The 9th Company
Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
I think I was supposed to hate the other guys
I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.Babylon
The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies
I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.Beyond Skyline
Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
Strange mixture
An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.Couples Retreat
Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
Predictably average
Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.Sharknado
A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
Succesfully bad
With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.Occhi Chiusi
A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp
With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.Michiel de Ruyter
The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes
Wittenberg
03-04-2016
Too presumptuous for it's own good
I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.RockmeNow
24-07-2015
A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting
Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)Wittenberg
30-12-2014
Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...Wittenberg
15-04-2015
A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.47 Ronin
A bunch of samurai revenging their master
Wittenberg
28-09-2014
Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be
Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.RockmeNow
06-05-2014
Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie
Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night
Wittenberg
04-08-2018
A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens
Wittenberg
02-11-2013
Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?Warcraft
A fantasyworld at peace is suddenly invaded by violent beasts coming through a portal
Wittenberg
11-10-2016
Surprisingly mature, but still a slightly distant game world
Pleasantly surprised by the quality of the characters, looks and various memorable scenes, and the way that things have a mature quality to them.. But you still may feel like you're thrown in a world you do not know, making it hard to connect with it, or be immersed by it.The Deep House
Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.
Wittenberg
13-02-2022
Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals
This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.Strange World
Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
Bubbly but not engaging
It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.Barbarouse Mexico
Several short and nasty horror stories. In Mexico.
Wittenberg
09-05-2023
Gritty but pointless
The atmosphere is different, and the stories have some fairly gritty and depressing stuff on offer. But all seemed to lack a clue or turn of events to liven things up. It's all "bad stuff happens, the end, next", which left a bit of an unfulfilled sensation.Chappie
Write-off police robot secretly gets a firmware upgrade, making him reboot as a child with a huge learning capacity. But he accidently falls in the hands of not so ideal parents to learn from..
RockmeNow
23-03-2015
Nice robot, crappy story
Robotics and the consciousness debate are usually my cup of tea, but Chappie definitely failed to deliver in this regard...Wittenberg
17-03-2015
A bitter sweet 7
As much as I adore the hyperrealistic robot visual FX, techyness and idea of this movie, a robot acting like a child acting like a ridiculous Hollywood caricature of a 'gangster' was too awkward to look at. The governance and discipline within this Tetravaal company were also sand in my eyes.Kong: Skull Island
Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island
Wittenberg
15-03-2018
It's all there but...
Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.Poltergeist (2015)
Family moves into a house in which a ghost goes after the little girl
Wittenberg
29-05-2016
A but uninspired
Right from the start it quite mundanely runs by -=scary scenes=-. Then the science team moves in, after which the scares are pretty much gone. The boy's trick of constantly turning his head toward a scary event VERY SLOWLY was also getting on my nerves. DeWitt rose above it all.Death Note
Dude finds a book in which he can write down the name of people he wants dead. And it works too.
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
Somewhat refreshing but not quite terrifying
Never seen the manga it was based on, so I can't comment on that. I thought it was a reasonably fresh horror with some new ideas and twists that make it worthwhile, but the atmosphere was not menacing or scary; It was reminiscent of the Gremlins and Critters-style 'fun' horror, suitable for minors.Sex Tape
Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?
Wittenberg
14-10-2014
Little more than it's own tagline
Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.Cidade InvisÃvel
After the mysterious death of his wife, a Brazilian environmental police officer (with gun?) discovers the truth about local folkore creatures
Wittenberg
30-01-2023
A bit plain
The Brazilian folklore entities are quite refreshing, and it's all brought rather plainly without much much blustering, which gives it a genuine, unpretentious atmosphere. However, it also makes the experience as a whole plain as well. I thought it missed intensity and excitement here and there.Kin
Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.
Wittenberg
05-12-2018
Too slow and mixed up
Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.Selva trágica
Woman escapes into the jungle from her husband where she is found by a group of rubber farmers
Wittenberg
19-06-2021
You may get several things out of it, but not a lot from each
Is it an adventure movie? An ode to nature? A mystical odyssey? A story about women devouring men? A documentary about rubber harvesting? A little bit of everything I guess, but not really shining in any. A bit static, thin on emotional involvement and abruptly ended.The Lazarus Effect
After succesfully bringing a dog back to live, an accident brings the science team to try the trick on one of their own
Wittenberg
31-03-2016
Unremarkable horror despite some good ideas
A promising idea and start can't help this movie from soon ending up with rather cliche and predictable scares and a lack of focus. The science 'team' is also an unconvincing bunch of Hollywood stereotypes.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos
Wittenberg
03-05-2014
Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.A Scanner Darkly
Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself
Wittenberg
01-09-2014
Less than meets the eye
The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)Rogue
A group of tourists is terrorized by a huge croc in the Australian outback
Wittenberg
31-10-2019
zap resistant
It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it was component enough to keep us watching as we unintentionally zapped into this. It successfully stays away from trying to be campy or deliberately bad, even if the source material could make it tempting to do so.The Taking of Deborah Logan
Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary
This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.Casshern
In some future, a man brought back from the dead - now possessing superpowers - is the only hope against other humans risen from the dead
Wittenberg
09-02-2024
A pretty and special movie, but it's hard to be moved by it
With every scene set against artificial backdrops of futuristic steampunk, this is certainly a special looking movie with an mysterious atmosphere to match. It's just that the characters are flat as a pancake, and the story and everything else is so boombastic and unrelatable.The Other Side of the Door
Devastated by the tragic loss of her son, the woman resorts to an indian supernatural ritual to speak to him one last time - and exectutes it wrongly
Wittenberg
10-07-2016
Fair horror
I loved the Indian setting and the story had potential, but ultimately it keeps relying on familiar tricks and I thought everyone was overacting a bit.Monsters of Man
Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place
Wittenberg
26-07-2021
A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones
Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
Tries everything except being scary or exciting
Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.The Mountain Between Us
Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them
Wittenberg
14-09-2020
Yeh sort of works
Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.Mulholland Drive
Woman on her way to make it in Hollywood, finds a mysterious woman in her bathroom (probably not the best summary).
Wittenberg
25-11-2021
Should have triggered me, but didn't
The Lynch-weirdness comes in late and it quite small doses, so mostly it actually felt like a movie of girlfriends going on an adventure. I love being puzzled by surrealism, but in here it didn't seem to trigger me, or the subjects and themes were just too plain.The BFG
Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Lovingly made but not immersing
I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.Sand Castle
Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work
Wittenberg
24-01-2021
it's got the stuff but not the story
They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.Finch
Survivor of some world apocalyptic event builts a robot to take care of his dog when he dies
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
A nice tale that had slightly more potential
It's a sympathetic tale of human friendship and it works for the most part, growing on me as it went on. However, I think the robot's progress in learning, behavior and humor could have been more subtle, interesting and refined, and making him sound like Borat was part of the problem.Stalingrad
In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity
Wittenberg
05-10-2014
Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat
A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.Sully
On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
Over dramatized
The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??Dark skies
Family is being visited by aliens
Wittenberg
19-05-2013
Greys don't have much to say
Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.Thor The Dark World
Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
Another curious case of stellar looking boredom
I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.The Uninvited
After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
Story is good, other aspects lacking
The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.The Mist
A mist containing monstrous creatures traps a group of people inside a supermarket
Wittenberg
28-11-2023
Too much cartoon people to be scary
I think it has that distinctive style of Stephen King, featuring a group of various very talkative and exaggerated characters arguing and contemplating as they face this ordeal. Almost like watching a play. Somehow it drains most of the tension, and left me slightly amused rather than scared.Anomalisa
The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel
Wittenberg
08-04-2018
Unique but a bit minimal
The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on themThe Darkest Hour
Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow
Wittenberg
27-08-2013
A floating light can only be so scary
The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.Archive 18
Video repairman gets a myserious gig to restore some tapes, and the footage drags him into the supernatural and occult
Wittenberg
12-02-2022
Not quite
It started of well, with a nice blend of horror and mystery, and I liked how the 'found' footage was alternated with 'real' footage. Unfortunately, it was let down by really unrealistic, strangely behaving and talking characters, a onedimensional lead actress and well, it's failure to become scary.Movies found: 1030 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 211 - 310
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