BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
Sausage Party
Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen

Wittenberg
06-10-2017

Funny idea with too little good jokes
I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to

Wittenberg
30-12-2018

Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Game Over, Man
Three stoned failure teenagers work as housekeepers in a hotel when it gets sieged. Will they save the day

Wittenberg
16-01-2021

Mostly a bad taste teenager flick
For some reason I thought this would rise above standard teenage, bad-taste material through better jokes, better humor and plenty of gore to spice things up. But it hardly does so, it really is mostly bad taste teenager flick with perhaps a handful of laugh out moments.White House Down
Terrorists take over White House and hunt down the president who is protected by a single security agent

Wittenberg
23-10-2013

Quality goes down too
Initially there is satisfactory Die-Hard-in-the-White-house vibe going on. But as it progresses, events become too ridiculous, cliched, tedious, patriotic and unfunny - making it tiresome to watch in the end. And then it commits suicide with slomo waving flag scene. Ugh.Space Sweepers
Space scavengers find a girl that is also bomb, which marks the beginning of a wild ride

Wittenberg
18-04-2021

Could have been fresh, but gave a headache instead
While I like the designs, FX and fresh vibe, I found it hard to get into the restless and erratic style of the movie, and didn't attach to any of the cartoonish, one-dimensional characters.Dark Shadows
Vampire wakes up in the seventies and sets out to bring back wealth to the family offspring

Wittenberg
30-12-2013

Surprisingly boring
Despite colorful characters and a potentially funny story, this movie is remarkably boring, and the Tim Burtonesque overacting and pacing got on my nerves here. Partially saved by a delightful Eva Green and a reasonable climax.The Shadow Effect
Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?

Wittenberg
25-11-2017

Only just above B level
It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger

Wittenberg
10-08-2019

Hit and miss. Loads of them.
I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.Planes
Planes flying around in the world of Cars (1)

Wittenberg
20-04-2014

What it needs to be
Not much in the way of originality, but adept at telling an effective, colorful and easy to follow story for the target audience.
RockmeNow
29-11-2013

Planes flying around, that's about it
Ok, so it looks like the world of Cars (1), but with planes in it, which could be entertaining. But actually it is not, since they forgot to write a decent story. Too bad...Errementari
Misunderstood and isolated, a blacksmith is keeping a hellish demon in captivity when a little girl enters his property

Wittenberg
28-10-2018

Too much like a musical
The style and dialogues are very overdone and overacted. This may give the movie a unique, almost musical play vibe to it, but it also means that is a bit dopey at times and not really scary either. I liked the Dante-proof scenes of hell near the end though.Deathgasm
Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil

Wittenberg
12-06-2022

Go harder
I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.Noise
When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge

Wittenberg
22-03-2023

ok but lots of loose ends
Although we quite liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and interesting characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.Bloodshot
Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge

Wittenberg
03-01-2021

Lacks characters to make it work
With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.Let Her Out
Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over

Wittenberg
25-02-2019

Doesn't do itself justice
The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.Make My Day
A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine

Wittenberg
19-03-2023

Poor characters and story
While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga noises. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.3022
The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth

Wittenberg
27-02-2021

Just made it
It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.The Tomorrow War
People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
04-07-2021

Forgettable and hardly interesting
While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show

Wittenberg
14-05-2017

Lacks in too many areas to make it work
The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights

Wittenberg
11-05-2014

Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price

Wittenberg
29-12-2018

I thought it'd be warmer
The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist

Wittenberg
13-10-2013

Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.The 9th Company
Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan

Wittenberg
30-10-2016

I think I was supposed to hate the other guys
I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.Hipersomnia
While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell

Wittenberg
30-11-2019

Should have been better
Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.Higher Power
A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason

Wittenberg
07-11-2020

subpar until it ends
A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!12 Strong
Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban

Wittenberg
28-07-2020

Unbelievable
If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.Infinitum: Subject Unknown
In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions

Wittenberg
30-07-2021

Quite plain considering the subject
I think the misleading poster artwork is hat they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.Heavy Metal
Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others

Wittenberg
01-03-2020

Not aged well
Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.Couples Retreat
Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package

Wittenberg
14-02-2016

Predictably average
Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.Mine
After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert

Wittenberg
10-09-2017

Overreached
A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire

Wittenberg
12-08-2022

A rather tired bulge of more Starwars
It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.Encanto
All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one

Wittenberg
31-12-2021

Objectively great, subjectively exhausting
With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.Tau
Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
30-06-2018

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows
While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.Phantom
Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission

Wittenberg
16-03-2014

Good intentions drowned in mistakes
Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!Lazer Team
A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.

Wittenberg
19-08-2016

Fun concept exectued unremarkably
Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.The Great Wall
Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against

Wittenberg
30-12-2017

A popsicle
It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.Ready Player One
In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world

Wittenberg
09-02-2019

Childish and patronizing fan service
I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?House of 1000 Corpses
Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits

Wittenberg
06-03-2022

Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way
Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"The Titan
On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
12-08-2018

Experiment failed
It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.Extraterrestial
Adolescents camping in the woods find themselves amongst aliens

Wittenberg
12-09-2015

Manages to be ok
It's the same old adolescents , going to the same old cabin in the woods with the same old aliens. But there's a couple of scenes, moments and even performances in here that keep this movie in the green.The Da Vinci Code
Historian gets involved in relic hunt and cat and mouse game involving dark religious groups trying to cover up our past

RockmeNow
30-12-2014

I liked the book slightly more
Shallow movie with un unconvincing chain of events and rather lame acting. Some nice cinematic shots every now and then, but not enough to keep a serious critic like myself happy ;)
Wittenberg
30-12-2014

Too far fetched
Some might enjoy this modern puzzle into ancient symbols, but I found it hard to buy into the endless array of plot conveniences and over smart people constantly being at the right time and place to solve the next far fetched piece of the over elaborate puzzle.Home
Colorful aliens take over earth, parking the humans in Australia. But one off them makes friends with a human....

RockmeNow
24-07-2015

Just another animated movie
An occasional smile during this okay movie, which is based on a rather unclear storyline. The 3d version does not seem to add much to the overall experience...
Wittenberg
15-04-2015

A warm and and kind movie, but stumbles over itself most of the time
The aliens lack the looks and cuteness to really shine, and the story is incredibly restless and rushed, especially the first half. Halfway through, when we finally get who is who and what's going on, we find a good and creative heart in this movie.Michiel de Ruyter
The life of Michiel de Ruyter, portrayed in 151 minutes

Wittenberg
03-04-2016

Too presumptuous for it's own good
I can appreciate the detailed depiction of this era and it's sea battles, but this movie insists it is a 'real' pro movie with an overload of cliche movie tricks like slow-motion, too much pretentious music and lord knows how many sub-bass boom sounds - sometimes for no reason at all.
RockmeNow
24-07-2015

A mixture of overly dramatic cheap cinematic tricks and shallow acting
Highlights of the movie are the battles at sea, which are rather convincing. Perhaps also somewhat interesting in terms of historical information about this legendary dutch admiral, or for people familiar with the locations this movie was filmed ( I recently visited Vlissingen myself).47 Ronin
A bunch of samurai revenging their master

Wittenberg
28-09-2014

Classic Samurai tale, but not as exciting as it could be
Loaded with beautiful and colorful Japanese scenery, folklore and tradition. Should satisfy Samurai enthusiasts. I wasn't really sucked in though, perhaps because there's no clear character to focus on.
RockmeNow
06-05-2014

Even one hundred samurai could not have saved this movie
Mythical Japanese story presented as cinematic fairytale with overly dramatic and generally unconvincing acting. Every now and then some nice special effects to keep the bored viewer slightly entertained....Cabin in the Woods
Stereotype teens go into a stereotype cabin in the woods..... but something non-stereotype is lurking

Wittenberg
22-09-2013

Good idea with not much else going for it
Sure it gets points for originality. But this one idea is all they had, leaving us with a unscary movie we can only like because it's original.The BFG
Girl befriends a giant and helps him to get his live back on track

Wittenberg
19-08-2016

Lovingly made but not immersing
I hate to be negative about this lovingly-put-together and fine looking movie with plenty of good moments, but ultimately it failed to grab my full attention and made me sleepy-eyed because of a lack of tension and the long dialogues.The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Spidy vs electro and that green dude on the flyboard

Wittenberg
06-09-2014

Stunning and tiresome
There's an abundance of slow and uninteresting scenes that somehow don't flow well, and slowly drain your ability to focus on this. By the time the vivid, beautifully done action starts, I was too exhausted to care.Machete Kills
Even the government needs Machete

Wittenberg
22-12-2013

Deliberately plain, dumb and violent fun.
I am never quite sure where to draw the line between a bad movie and an ode to a bad movie. But I am sure there's some ok fun and slashing to be had here.47 Meters Down
Two girls go cage diving with sharks, but then the crane breaks and they end up on the bottom

Wittenberg
10-05-2018

Not really immersive, a bit shallow (haha)
The main actors do their best but ultimately it isn't as immersive as I was hoping for, in part also because of some dubious underwater physics and patronizing dialogue. I wonder how this would have been without any underwater intercoms... I am betting a lot more special.The Deep Ones
Couple rents a place by the sea, but the strange hosts soon drag them into strange rituals involving some sea entity (Cthulhu!)

Wittenberg
28-07-2021

Not scary, but perhaps that wasn't the point. An ode to horror?
Acting and camera work is so clunky that it sometimes feels like you're watching porn. But when I also heard the 50's classic 'whistle' mystery music style I began to suspect they were aiming for a certain atmosphere. It sort of works: it's campy and entertaining. But scary or intense, it is notGerald's Game
In an isolated vacation home, a man ties his wife to the bed for sexy times, then dies of a heartattack

Wittenberg
15-08-2020

Not as unbearable as I hoped for
A bold idea, but the lead actress was unable to convey her dread and dismay to the screen, the dialogue with her 'ghosts' seemed a bit childish and like a play, and the twist at the very end seemed unnecessary and farfetched.The Dyatlov Pass Incident (aka Devil's Pass)
Found footage of students who went into Russian mountains to investigate the mysterious deaths of another group

Wittenberg
02-11-2013

Too much mysteries
Has it's moments, most of them boring. Then it boldly moves on to invoke all the mysteries and conspiracy theories that these nervous paranoid teenagers could think of, making it seem like it is trying to say "you sort it out".Mortal Kombat (2021)
Warriors are gathered to fight other warriors in another realm

Wittenberg
19-06-2021

A step closer to a good videogame movie
With a promising beginning, overall high production standards, appearance of several game characters and even some fatalities (which are oddly more gutting in the game than in the movie) this was close to an actual decent game movie. But the dull, flat characters and story again let it down badly.Tides aka The Colony
Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
03-08-2021

Promising beginning, so-so rest
Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.Escape Plan
A man's job is to test jail security by actually escaping from them. But then the next gig is a jail that was built on all his teachings.

Wittenberg
28-04-2014

Too cliched to be great
The characters and story are too much typical Hollywood cliches and fantasies to make this really exciting. So we are left with a mildly entertaining jailbreak flick.The Cloverfield Paradox
A spacestation desperately tries to harvest a new type of energy for a dying earth, but accidently triggers multiverse dimension stuff in doing so

Wittenberg
07-02-2018

Tries to mask a flat execution with random dimensional thingies.
An awesome premise but lackluster execution with slightly dull actors ultimately no good script. The dimension stuff that happens feels arbitrary, like they just threw in 'weird stuff'. I was constantly like Why did they... why would that.... that doesn't even.... And WHAT WAS THE PARADOX?Advantageous
Without a job and with a daughter to support, a woman decides to earn money by having herself tranfered into a younger body

Wittenberg
17-06-2018

Different, interesting but very slow
A sober, slowly moving drama that doesn't over-please the viewer, has some decent performances by the cast and is certainly 'interesting'. As a whole though, it really is very slow up to the point of lifelessness, some more spices would have been welcome in places.Like Father
When her groom walks out just before the wedding, the bride ends up drunk and taking her long lost dad on the honeymoon trip

Wittenberg
07-10-2018

Nothing stands out
It's got the actors, humor, story line and locations, but all in very restrained, save and average portions, making this a rather average affair. Not bad, but could have used some more spices for my taste.Death Note
Dude finds a book in which he can write down the name of people he wants dead. And it works too.

Wittenberg
14-09-2020

Somewhat refreshing but not quite terrifying
Never seen the manga it was based on, so I can't comment on that. I thought it was a reasonably fresh horror with some new ideas and twists that make it worthwhile, but the atmosphere was not menacing or scary; It was reminiscent of the Gremlins and Critters-style 'fun' horror, suitable for minors.Maze Runner
Not knowing why, a guy wakes up in between fellow victims - all surrounded by a giant maze with monsters in it

Wittenberg
11-07-2015

Improves with age
Upon first viewing I was annoyed by unnecessary vague way everyone talks and the focus on their petty problems instead of the maze itself. And while these problems are real, upon second viewing the core adventure - with some mystery, action and horror - became more evident and enjoyable.Tombraider
Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
03-02-2019

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good
It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.Bright
Against his will, a cop gets assigned an Orc as his partner, with whom he will go through a long, dangerous night

Wittenberg
04-08-2018

A not entirely succesfull mixture
It's an interesting idea to, without explanation, simply put orcs and elves among people and base the story on that. But everyone's so chagrined, no one's really likable and the atmosphere is very grim, whereas orcs as basketball gang members and the elves were kind of childish to me.Maggie
Father gets to take care at home of his daugther, in her last few days before turning into a zombie

Wittenberg
26-06-2016

Sympathetic but hollow
I liked the idea of focusing on just one case amidst a global zombie mayhem, and Schwarzenegger is probably at his best ever. Ultimately though, I thought there was a lack of substance and depth, and the pretty shots starting feeling as a coverup for a slightly empty shell.She Will
Older moviestar and her nurse go to a secluded place to recover, but the spirit of witchcraft still lingers there

Wittenberg
12-03-2023

Great atmosphere, lacking story
It laid down a promising groundwork for a modern witchcraft tale, but I felt it ran out of ideas and became a somewhat uneventful movie not really going anywhere, and without a satisfying ending.Skyline
Room full of pretty people must survive an invasion of ugly aliens

Wittenberg
02-11-2013

Good looking B movie
An unusual cross between a B movie with dull actors having tedious arguments, and very decent effects and designs. Guess what's more important in the end?Kong: Skull Island
Expedition team and a heavy military escort travels to a mysterious, previously undiscovered island

Wittenberg
15-03-2018

It's all there but...
Although it feels like the director really wanted to make a Vietnam war movie, the movie objectively seems pretty competent in terms of style, old school adventure and monsters. But it never really grabbed me. I am not sure why, but the rather generic characters might have something to do with it.Selva trĂ¡gica
Woman escapes into the jungle from her husband where she is found by a group of rubber farmers

Wittenberg
19-06-2021

You may get several things out of it, but not a lot from each
Is it an adventure movie? An ode to nature? A mystical odyssey? A story about women devouring men? A documentary about rubber harvesting? A little bit of everything I guess, but not really shining in any. A bit static, thin on emotional involvement and abruptly ended.Cruela
How Cruela de Vil, you know the villain from 101 dalmatians, came to be

Wittenberg
03-10-2021

Well made, just not much in here for me personally
This was received well and praised highly, and I can see the well made and well told story in it. Personally, I was hoping for it to be a bit more vile, more shock, more magic and a lot less about fashion. It has a bit of a happy musical vibe that is not my cup of tea.Captain Harlock: Space Pirate
In a spacewar for access to earth, a man inflatres a space pirate's ship to bring him down. Gradually, he starts to doubt where the real evil lies

Wittenberg
13-05-2016

Just enjoy the pretty graphics
Some stunning and quite unique 3d designs can't make up for the usual overacted, over dramatic way everyone behaves. And a pirate ship that is literally indestructible isn't really helping to make the otherwise vivid combat scenes exciting.Pompeii
Slave gladiator falls for girl above his league, then has to fight his way to freedom through evil romans and erupting volcanos

Wittenberg
03-05-2014

Fine, but not all it could have been
Sort of a fine and good looking flick. Would have been much more intense if the characters weren't as 1-dimensional, the story a bit more refined, and the whole thing looked a little less clean and fabricated.Kin
Boy finds a strange superweapon in a deserted factory, which he is forced to use to help out his brother caught up in criminal troubles.

Wittenberg
05-12-2018

Too slow and mixed up
Ultimately, I found the unusual mix of science fiction, family drama, crime and a roadmovie uncomfortable, and thought that way up until the finale it was rather slow as well. But I have to give some points for originality,the groovy gun and the finale.Area 51
Armed with camera's , some teens attempt to sneak in area 51 and catch a glimps of what's in there

Wittenberg
13-08-2015

Great idea doesn't quite deliver
A clever idea that could have yielded some scary footage. Unfortunately, the teens in question are bit bland and unsympathetic, their efforts for this stunt are a bit over the top, and once inside it's a bit too messy and rushed to deliver true scares. Should have been toned down a little.Sex Tape
Couple makes a sex tape to spice up their sex life, but it ends up on the interclouds! Now, how to get it off?

Wittenberg
14-10-2014

Little more than it's own tagline
Yes, you'll giggle. But you'll also find that the central joke is pretty much all there is.Rogue
A group of tourists is terrorized by a huge croc in the Australian outback

Wittenberg
31-10-2019

zap resistant
It's not a masterpiece by any means, but it was component enough to keep us watching as we unintentionally zapped into this. It successfully stays away from trying to be campy or deliberately bad, even if the source material could make it tempting to do so.Dead Space: Downfall
Animation based on the video games, in which a spaceship salvages an alien relic from a planet, after which horrible things happen

Wittenberg
28-06-2022

A quick fix of dead space terror but not much else
Fairly competent as a gung-ho heavy duty space zombie action animation, wisely not holding back in blood and guts, but ultimately lacking in depth, truly memorable moments or interesting characters.The Mountain Between Us
Man and woman survice a crashlanding in the snowy mountains, and now face survival as well as a developing forbidden love between them

Wittenberg
14-09-2020

Yeh sort of works
Throughout the film there's alternating scenes of them taking a few more steps, and then a much longer scene of them resting and developing feelings for each other amidst all misery. Both are fine, but none of them felt very profound.A Scanner Darkly
Cop (sort of) gets involved in drug business by using it himself

Wittenberg
01-09-2014

Less than meets the eye
The painted looks of this movie are just great, but I don't quite get why they needed to be in this fairly plain drug story. The effect serves no clear function to me. (Well perhaps there's the shifting suites - but why don't these folks just put on a mask?)Megamind
Two rival aliens crashland on earth. Since one of them seems predestined to be the hero, the other one reluctantly sets out te be the evil villain

Wittenberg
01-11-2015

Ok humor space adventure
A reasonable adventure with a few good laughs, but overal it sort of lacked the spark is paced a bit too slow.Monsters of Man
Secret field test of killer robots goes wrong when innocent tourists and a an ex-navy seal are at the wrong time and place

Wittenberg
26-07-2021

A lot of reasonable ideas, but no great ones
Despite some really good CGI and adequate amusement, it felt a bit like a mixture underdeveloped themes. Grim violence involving children, the tourist' perspective, the robot operators perspective, the evil corp involvement and a jab at robot existentialism that didn't take of.Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Did you know that after killing the witch, Hansel and Gretel became witch hunters?

Wittenberg
15-06-2013

Tries everything except being scary or exciting
Oh I don't know. They tried their best and it shows. But the witches are just there from the beginning, there is no tension built-up. These loud, semi-artistic fights for people with MTV brains are getting on my nerves too. Mixes too many styles and atmospheres.Triada
Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation

Wittenberg
12-03-2023

A couple of problems, but still enjoyable
We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.Clara
Expelled from his teaching position, an obsessed professor carries on his search for exoplanets with help from a not so obvious assistant

Wittenberg
30-07-2019

An exciting scientific quest with a double agenda
The quasi-deep dialogue between the two felt forced and banal, and a stone-juggling hippie telling the atheist scientist (narrow-minded, grumpy and depressed of course!) how to find planets was quite preposterous. The science of it was nice though, and at the end it still was strangely rewarding.Sand Castle
Military squad in Iraq get assigned the task to fix a watersupply, which turns out to be ungrateful and dangerous work

Wittenberg
24-01-2021

it's got the stuff but not the story
They had fine actors, a solid atmosphere, music and four Humvees to make this work, but it just didn't happen for me. The mission, already a bit tedious in nature, needed a level of story telling or tension that just wasn't there. My attention wandered off several times.Dark skies
Family is being visited by aliens

Wittenberg
19-05-2013

Greys don't have much to say
Some good scares and performances. But this movie is so loyal to the alien-visitors handbook that is struggling to fill up the time, resulting in loads of pointless scenes and an anticlimax.Sully
On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away

Wittenberg
27-08-2017

Over dramatized
The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??Thor The Dark World
Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
20-04-2014

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom
I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.Home Alone 3
This time the kid has to defend the house from a bunch of criminals who are after a microchip he unknowingly has

Wittenberg
27-12-2021

Different enough to exist, familiair enough to please?
With none of the original cast available, and with the original story already been told twice, I commend them for doing a slightly different setup whilst still maintain the core features. Without Christmas it looses charm though. Should please the fans and youngsters, of which I am neither.The Forest
Woman heads off to japan to find her twin sister, who was last seen wandering into suicide forest Aokigahara

Wittenberg
25-09-2016

A missed opportunity
Considering the terrifying setting of the movie, I was quite disappointed that it only had rather mundane, predictable and mostly pointless jump scares to offer. It's not too bad, but hopefully not the final word in movies situated here.Stalingrad
In WWII the battle for Stalingrad, Russians and Germans fight for a strategically situated building and the few women left in the vicinity

Wittenberg
05-10-2014

Actors and story can't keep the few impressive scenes afloat
A good looking - if not over processed - movie, with some very intense scenes that will remain stuck with me. But the rest of story is struggling to bind it all together, with slow and clumsy scenes that fail to show the terror that these men must have been in.Peppermint
When her husband and daughter are buraly murderedand the villains walk free, she seeks revenge on ther own

Wittenberg
03-03-2019

Exchanging the sexes isn't enough
This really is the Punisher but with a female lead and lacking a dark costume. While this may give us an entertaining action revenge flick, it was too familiar, I was annoyed by the army of stereotype badguys and lead character's deep hatred inside (I assume there was) didn't quite come out.The Uninvited
After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.

Wittenberg
22-09-2018

Story is good, other aspects lacking
The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.Extracted
A machine provides a man access to the memories of a criminal, but he gets stuck in there too

Wittenberg
28-06-2015

Great idea, somewhat dull
A swell idea that oozes potential. Execution however, is rather slow, simplistic and tame, so it does not quite reach the skies. Too bad. More ideas like this one though, please.The Darkest Hour
Teenagers must make it through an alien invasion in moscow

Wittenberg
27-08-2013

A floating light can only be so scary
The abandoned streets of Moscow looked great. But the jumpy characters, the goofy people they meet along the way, and the unscary lights just don't have what it takes.The Deep House
Couple tries to score youtube visitors with a movie about a submerged house. But when they dive into it, stuff happens.

Wittenberg
13-02-2022

Unable to cash in on the fantastic concept and visuals
This is an awesome idea and the underwater footage looks fantastic and bone chilling, and must have been tricky to film. It is almost incomprehensible that they still managed to make this NOT scary - but the banal horror story and robotic underwater conversations did the trick. A rewrite, please.Anomalisa
The night before a presentation, a man is trying to make it through a lonely night in a hotel

Wittenberg
08-04-2018

Unique but a bit minimal
The combination of puppets a realistic dialogue makes for a unique vibe, and they sure have cooked up an interesting atmosphere. Unfortunately, sometimes I wondered how long I needed listen to the endless chit chat, and it seem they touched some deeper themes but didn't follow through on themStrange World
Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
03-01-2023

Bubbly but not engaging
It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.The Equalizer
Highly skilled, ultra meticulate (ex-cia?) must come to action once again when he infuriates Russian mobsters by caring for a hooker

Wittenberg
27-04-2015

Old fashioned (in a bad way)
A movie that is trying too hard to be bad-ass, yet it is too long, delivers quite mediocre cat and mouse action and a dull take-them-out-one-by-one-in-a-warehouse finale reminiscent of 80's action movies.Passengers
On a hightech spaceship carrying 5000 cryosleeping persons to a new earth, one of them wakes up 90 years too early

Wittenberg
22-04-2017

A flawed love story
If found the idea more interesting than execution, which suffers from rather flat, over-directed characters trying to deliver what is eventually a love story in space. The tech/thrills near the end felt rushed and lazy.The Colony
Members of a colony, trying to survive in a frozen world, respond to an SOS signal from a nearby colony. But what they find...

Wittenberg
25-01-2014

Frozen B-movie
The dark alley scenes: fine. The outside snowworld: even better. But the uninspired badguys and cat and mouse action is just plain mediocre. Then it secures its B-status by having desolate survivors with full make-up on, and Rammstein rockmusic during fight scenes.What Happened to Monday?
In a fascist single-child society, septuplet sisters have found a way to cheat the system. But for how long?

Wittenberg
12-05-2019

Gimmicky
While original and somewhat amusing, I found it mostly gimmicky. The sisters are simplified and overacted stereotypes like the 'tough sporty jog', the 'posh' and 'smart computer nerd' (with glasses, a cap and long sleeves of course!) but without emotional connection to any of them.The Zero Theorem
Man, already borderline, is asked to tackle an unsane equation on a computer

Wittenberg
03-10-2014

Original and artistically sound, but lacks involvement
The colorful, bubbly and mad future scenery is highly artistic, but also makes it difficult to really pull you in. It won't rise above being a pleasant curiosity, because you can't see any of these people or events happen in real life.Movies found: 882 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 191 - 290
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