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Dark Cloud

Traumatized girl gets experimental therapy by being secluded in a house run by an artificial intelligence

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2022
5

Too tedious and uneventful

The story is familiar, but one that always seems open for a new interpretation, and it's a story that can work just fine with limited budget like this movie. Unfortunate, this one failed. It is mostly tedious, slow and uneventful, and lacks the philosophical or technological wit to make it deep.
5

The OA

A missing blind girl one day returns with sight, and an amazing story about the afterlife she entrusts to a small group of people

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-12-2023
5

Problematic, but the premise may pull you through

Another Netflix endeavor with a mysterious story that is only just able to make you watch the whole thing, but requires you to sit through excruciatingly slow passages and episodes, flat one-trick characters, many dubious plot-points and even some crinche here and there. The twist felt uninspired.
5

Independence Daysaster

Aliens strike from above and below, smalltown folk (and president) scramble into action

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-04-2014
5

Bad - but sympathetic and unpretentious

You B-movie you! With your continuous bombastic music blasting over shaky camera shots of people constantly jumping in and out a car! But it's sort of all right, it does what it can. Effects are sufficient. Fair game.
5

Pacific Rim: Uprising

The monsters have been defeated, but not for long

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2019
5

Do you like robot fights?

Listen, I just came here for giant robots smashing huge monsters, and got what I wanted. Never mind that every person in this movie is a ridiculous Hollywood abomination and everything they say and do is stupid as can be, making this essentially a horrible Power Rangers movie with no soul.
5

Captain Marvel

A woman with superpowers and generic green aliens and avengers and tessaracts and whfff

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-09-2020
5

I felt nothing

A cheerful, colorful, slick looking action superhero movie that went straight through me.
5

Synchronicity

Small teams get a timemachine to run work, one of them gets caught up in paradoxes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
5

The story is there. Execution is not.

There's probably a really clever, if not somewhat difficult to follow, story in here. But the really lackluster execution, dull performances, suspiciously limited locations and depressing dark colors made me struggle to care... no matter how much bladerunner music they throw in!
5

Flatliners (2019)

Med students have themselves killed and take a peak at the afterlife before they are reanimated. But all is not fun and games.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-08-2019
5

Same problem as the original, executed worse

Like the original, the concept is awesome but I still find the clue rather dull and unsatisfying. Worse, in this version some of characters are quite annoying, some of their lines rather cheesy and the scares copied and uninspired. I was waiting for everyone to just say sorry and get this over with.
5

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

With inside help, Alice gets a change to destroy the T-virus once and for all

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-06-2017
5

Looks alright, feels numb

Much like the previous parts, this looks good and has some creative, vicious beasts on offer. But it also features the same hollow, boring screenplay and empty characters. It feels like a bunch of monster challenges glued together.
5

The Finest Hours

Against all odds, courageous men on a small coastguard boat sail into a storm to help the crew of a wrecked oiltanker

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-07-2016
5

Sunk

Not withstanding the good looks and production values, I thought this was a mess. The 50's atmosphere felt cliched, all characters are either obnoxious, one-dimensional or off, the love story was getting on my nerves and I was sort of glad it was over.
5

Halo 4: forward unto dawn

Cadets getting trained for combat in the halo universe

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-08-2013
5

Mission failed: please try again

What happened? They got great looking props, effects, a spot-on color palette, an exciting Halo playground, and even the warthog. Yet all they came up with are close-ups of whining and insubordinate teenagers, and a minimal story that's still going nowhere.
5

Battle Royal

A class of students are placed on an island, and the game is that only one survives

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
5

A bloodfest turned into snoozefest

I was curious because it was listed somewhere as a real shocker, but the gore is not that bad - less so than many splatter horrors around. Furthermore I don't think I will ever get used to Japanese overacting and drama. The scholars are boring, annoying and their contemplations uninteresting.
5

Carnage

Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
5.5

Great idea didn't work

A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.
5.5

Incantation

A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
5.5

Too messy

There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.
5.5

The Huntsman: Winter's War

An alternative, side-story story situated around the area and events of the snow white fairy tale

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-01-2017
5.5

Nothing to stand out or excite

I think the good intentions are there, but I found it rather flat and uninvolving, appearing rather insignificant next to giants like The Lord of the Ring.
5.5

Carrie (2013)

Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
5.5

Identical yet inferior to the original

Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.
5.5

Terminator Dark Fate

More or less the original story but with more females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
5.5

No

Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.
5.5

Windtalkers

Marines are reluctantly tasked with protecting native american soldiers and their ability to transfer indecipherable messages

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-05-2022
5.5

Did not age well

I think it made an impression as a war movie in the day, but I fear it has aged poorly. The acting and dialogues can be quite corny, the emotional scenes induce cringe, and the action is almost laugable with the hero shooting from the hip and all bad guys instantly drop dead.
5.5

Expiry

A couple fails to have children before the expiry date of their relationship, then a bracelet makes physical contact impossible

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2021
5.5

Too thin

This almost sort of worked, as a minimalistic, futuristic story of a forbidden relationship. But after a while it starts to loose momentum, the therapy sessions (?) with some sort of HAL computer seem endless and pointless and the final escape scene brings it to amateuristic levels.
5.5

The Great Raid

In WW2 soldiers undertake a daring missing to rescue prisonors from the Japanese Abanatuan camp

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-01-2017
5.5

Felt like a movie, not a war rescue mission

I don't mean to sound disrespectful about this amazing operation, but I wasn't to keen on this movie. I constantly felt I was watching actors playing soldiers and prisoners, with unrealistic over rehearsed lines ruining the mood. The cliched and disconnected 'war movie music' didn't help either.
5.5

Hercules

Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
average 5.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
5

Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please

I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...
5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-12-2014
6

A bit boring

The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.
6

Murder Mystery 2

Murder solving couple takes a much needed break on a distant island, but soon enough they're at it again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-04-2023
5.5

Formulaic slapstick with too little good jokes

I can see what they are going for, and objectively all the ingredients are here for a shot of uncomplicated amusement. I just thought the jokes were not all that, and everything is so safe, formulaic and predictable it feels like you have already seen it - and will forget about it tomorrow.
5.5

House of Wax

Group of friends winds up in a desolate town where the wax museum holds a horrible secret

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-06-2023
5.5

original subject can't generic horror formula

The wax subject is quite original and caters for some reasonable horror moments. The subject feels slightly underused though, but that's not the main problem. That would be the same old cast of pretty young adults behaving generically, unrealistically and rather tiresomely.
5.5

A Good Day to Die Hard

McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
5.5

Boring high-octane action. Huh?

Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.
5.5

The Grudge

Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
5.5

A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas

On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.
5.5

The Nun

A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
5.5

Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story

While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.
5.5

Kill Command

Future space marines go train against robots in the woods, but then the robots start to become agressive beyond the program.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2016
5.5

Nice robots though

Some guys were quite adept at making some good scifi designs and robotics, but not at making a movie around it. The combat lacks tension, performances are underwhelming, there's a lot or repetition and I fell asleep twice.
5.5

Risen

Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
5.5

Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions

The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.
5.5

The Temple

Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
5.5

They forgot to write it

I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.
5.5

Resident Evil: damnation

A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
5.5

Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless

It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?
5.5

The Unholy

Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
5.5

Fair story just not exectuted well

The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.
5.5

Color Out of Space

Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
5.5

A bit vague and improvised

It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was over
5.5

Deathgasm

Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2022
6

Go harder

I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.
6

Noise

When a man start looking into his father's life and the factory he worked in, he becomes more insane as more secrets emerge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-03-2023
6

ok but lots of loose ends

Although we liked this movie, with it's relaxed but pleasantly mysterious atmosphere and decent characters, it felt badly insecure about the story it wanted to tell. Was it about the factory? The father? The mother? Was noise really so much of an theme to warrant the title? Hmmm.
6

Captive State

An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
6

Average

Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.
6

Pet Semetary (2019)

A family man discovers a semetary that brings back dead pets. What else could it work on?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
6

not scary enough, too little to standout

While it has some good moments, like the backstory of his wife that is actually more scary than the main plot, overall I found it a bit plain and predictable. The scares don't go deep.
6

Curvature

A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
6

Too flawed to make the story come alive

I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.
6

V/H/S 2

Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
6

lacks inspiration

It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.
6

Make My Day

A space soldier and his friends try to escape from planet when it is overrun with monsters coming out of it's mine

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-03-2023
6

Poor characters and story

While there some stuff to like - like the general looks of it, the music, the creatures, and some cool scifi action - I could not get over the awful main character, who is constantly sobbing and making those awful Manga gasps. Many other characters, as well as the story, can be quite painful too.
6

Phantom

Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
6

Good intentions drowned in mistakes

Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!
6

Romina

Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
6

Spoils itself

The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.
6

Harbinger Down

Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
6

Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts

Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.
6

Control

Woman repeatedly wakes up in a closed room, where a voice gives her assignments to test her telekinetic abilities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-05-2023
6

Lacks excitement or ideas

While single-location movies may same ideal for low budget, it must be compensated for by the story and acting for it to work. This movie has neither. It kind of meanders with the concept, runs out of juice and then has a somewhat dissonant finale. Hmmm.
6

The 9th Company

Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
6

I think I was supposed to hate the other guys

I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.
6

Glass

A researcher investigates the credibility and actual superpowers of the superhero's from Unbreakable and Split

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
6

Ultimately a failed attempt to prolong this

The story provides a potentially clever reason to bring these people together and add a twist to the story, but mostly it feels like everybody was dragged in front of the camera again, the "research" was laughable and I still hate MPD - it is so embarrassing to look at, not scary at all.
6

Couples Retreat

Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
6

Predictably average

Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.
6

Outside the Wire

After neglecting an order, a drone pilot is send to join a mysterious supersoldier on a dangerous quest

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-01-2021
6

Tries to be something it's not

With military action and gun-toting robots, this ought to has been my thing. But I was quiet disappointed. Mostly because they talk tough and say deep things, but it all falls completely flat. It's just trying too hard to be cool and relevant without following up on it.
6

Spectral

Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
6

Decent ingredients but no cake

This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.
6

Trench 11

Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
6

A bit underwhelming

The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.
6

The Witcher season 2

The witcher is training the princess he protects, but her powers become more and more concerning

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-01-2022
6

It's now soap

I still like the Witcher atmosphere, and sure there are some memorable moments to be found. But mostly I found season 2 remarkably tedious and empty. The main culprit is the oddly soapy style of storytelling, with endless conversations between people doing bizarre strolls through hallways.
6

Sausage Party

Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
6

Funny idea with too little good jokes

I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.
6

Johnny English Strikes Again

A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
6

Funny but lazy

I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.
6

Wounds

Bartender finds distrubing images on a telephone left by a customer, starts seeing bugs and is chosen for a mysterious cult ritual

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-09-2020
6

Mixed feelings

When slow burning is done wrong, it is just slow. Near the middle it manages to spark some interest, only to loose it again because the writers couldn't figure out how to tie the story elements together. It's pretty ok though, mainly because the performances and created amtosphere.
6

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan is forced to come into action when young princess Leia is abducted by the Empire

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2022
6

A rather tired bulge of more Starwars

It's always nice to have another fix of Starwars, but frankly it is getting increasingly harder to get high from it. This series was low-energy and somehow has no impact on the saga. There are also some poorly choreographed action scenes that may have worked in the 70's, but look ridiculous today.
6

Encanto

All members of a family living a magic house receive special magic talent, except one

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-12-2021
6

Objectively great, subjectively exhausting

With whopping graphics, a tasty Colombian vibe, sparkling colors and scenery, and wholesome life lessons, objectively it is a marvel. But it is trying too hard - too much hysteric humor, constantly restless and hectic, and too much loud songs. The few simple dialogue scenes form oases of serenity.
6

6 Underground

Group of very cool hitman people aim to set free a country from an evil dictator

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-04-2020
6

Failed experiment

I was in for it; could an overload of non-stop Micheal Bay signature crap eventually transform into a trance-like satisfying experience? We'll never know, because even he couldn't keep up the initial pace, and let this slide off to a more generic and only somewhat amusing actionflick.
6

Lazer Team

A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
6

Fun concept exectued unremarkably

Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.
6

The Golem

A woman tries to defend a secluded Jewish community by summoning a creature from the soil

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-07-2019
6

Great setting, but second half is too directionless

It lays down a really good mood with the sober, deeply religious and ritualized community. But it feels like they forgot to think through what would happen once the Golem is there, so it starts to feel loose and deflates. The music, while good, was too eager and didn't really fit well.
6

The Shadow Effect

Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-11-2017
6

Only just above B level

It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.
6

House of 1000 Corpses

Two couples on a roadtrip take detour to find the infamous Dr. Satan, but wind up in a house where a terrible fate awaits

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
6

Disturbing in an unpleasant and lazy way

Much of the unease comes from the nasty music and color-inverted imagery. It feels a bit like cheating. The rest still holds plenty of shock value, but somehow it felt like that was the sole purpose instead of telling a story. Like Rob went 'Oh look how shocking this is", "Just look at this scene!"
6

Extraterrestial

Adolescents camping in the woods find themselves amongst aliens

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-09-2015
6

Manages to be ok

It's the same old adolescents , going to the same old cabin in the woods with the same old aliens. But there's a couple of scenes, moments and even performances in here that keep this movie in the green.
6

The Last Voyage of the Demeter

A ship transports a doomed cargo from Transalvania to London.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2023
6

Lacks inpsiration or surprises

Everything is there for a genuinely creepy experience: A mysterious monster, a squeaky wooden ship and gloomy dark seas. Yet I wasn't scared by it, perhaps even a little indifferent. There's something too modern about the style, and a lack of surprises or connection with the characters.
6

Sharknado

A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
6

Succesfully bad

With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.
6

Deadpool 2

Deadpool looses his wife and wants to protect some kid

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-10-2019
6

Lacks substance, just gags

The cynical nature of Deadpool and the kitsch, over-elaborate fighting scenes are the real aces of this movie, but after a while it gets exhausting and overdone, and with only a rather vague and messy story to fall back on I found myself strangely bored for the amount of stuff that goes on.
6

Zathura

Jumanji in space

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
6

Lacking that extra something

This may appeal to a younger audience, but overall I felt it wasn't quite there. Actors are a bit lifeless, jokes fall flat, scenes drag on for too long. It's fine, but missing the spark, magic, wit or funfactor to make it appeal to a broader audience.
6

Errementari

Misunderstood and isolated, a blacksmith is keeping a hellish demon in captivity when a little girl enters his property

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-10-2018
6

Too much like a musical

The style and dialogues are very overdone and overacted. This may give the movie a unique, almost musical play vibe to it, but it also means that is a bit dopey at times and not really scary either. I liked the Dante-proof scenes of hell near the end though.
6

Terminator: Genisys

The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
6

Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'

Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.
6

Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas

When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
6

An unnecessary movie with no audience

If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.
6

The Hangover III

The wolfpack gets involved in crazy mafia adventures yet again, but this time they're sober

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-02-2016
6

I felt cheated

The 'what the hell happened last night' joke may have been running out of fuel. But as I watched the half-baked comedy that remained without it, I couldn't help but feel cheated.
6

Game Over, Man

Three stoned failure teenagers work as housekeepers in a hotel when it gets sieged. Will they save the day

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-01-2021
6

Mostly a bad taste teenager flick

For some reason I thought this would rise above standard teenage, bad-taste material through better jokes, better humor and plenty of gore to spice things up. But it hardly does so, it really is mostly bad taste teenager flick with perhaps a handful of laugh out moments.
6

The Wandering Earth

Earth is equiped with huge thrusters to fly it to a new habitable galaxy, but the journey knows many dangers

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-05-2019
6

The Chinese are starting to copy the wrong things

I can appreciate huge production values as well as the story, but the execution is chaotic, at times incomprehensible and sadly felt like the Chinese are now emulating the wrong Hollywood kitsch and cliches. It felt like a Chinese Armageddon clone.
6

The Amazing Spider-Man

Man gets spiderpowers and saves the world from lizardman

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-02-2013
6

Pretty whatever for someone amazing

Making wisecrack remarks while flying through the air during a live threatening battle - kind or ruined things for me. Lizardman not scary either.
6

Neighbors

Young couple with a baby has a fraternity move in next door. The war begins

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-03-2015
6

Watching people having fun wasn't much fun

The lead actors put in a lot of energy and effort into it, but cannot save this mediocre comedy with a shortage of good jokes. The endless fraternity partying and self-contempted mayhem was rather exhausting to me.
6

Space Sweepers

Space scavengers find a girl that is also bomb, which marks the beginning of a wild ride

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
18-04-2021
6

Could have been fresh, but gave a headache instead

While I like the designs, FX and fresh vibe, I found it hard to get into the restless and erratic style of the movie, and didn't attach to any of the cartoonish, one-dimensional characters.
6

The Silent Sea

In a water-deprived future, a team flies to the moon to retrieve a mysterious sample from an abondened base that may hold the key to a sollution

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2022
6

Some baseline enterntainment but full of problems

As a scifi fan I could get some enjoyment out of this, but it wasn't easy. We have another unlikely crew handling everything rather unprofessionally, the dialogue has oodles of 'naaaah' moments, the story felt broken and actress Doona sucks the life out of it with her apathetic and depressing style.
6

Khanzab

A girl tries to solve the mystery of her father's violent death, and black magic curse surrounding her family

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
6

Good scares for some scenes, but not an entire movie

I was looking forward to experiencing the Indonesian take on horror. There are some moods and scenes that are quite intense, but they repeated until they loose their effectiveness. The story gets quite messy and the spirits pop in like puppets a haunted house at the fair.
6

Replicas

When a memory transfer scientist looses his entire family in a car crash, he attempts to get them back by cloning them, including their mind

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-08-2019
6

Mostly a missed opportunity

It's a good idea but never really takes off. Everyone seems disconnected and indifferent about what's going on, it lacks the eerie or fascinating ambience I would expect with a story like this, and it has got one of those annoying air computer interfaces, operated by ridiculous hand movements.
6

Let Her Out

Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2019
6

Doesn't do itself justice

The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.
6

Seventh Son

In medieval times, a ghost hunter requires the help of a seventh son (of a seventh son) in order to defeat an escaped witch with evil plans.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-01-2016
6

It's missing factor X

It's all here; bold adventure, dazzling fantasy, witches, dragons, romance, fine effects and music, and amusing performances. But somehow it is all a bit flat, fails to excite or take you along for the ride. Maybe it's exactly this mandatory fantasy mixture that makes it feel formulaic.
6

Hippopotamus

With no memory, a girl awakens in a room with a man telling her she can't leave until she loves him

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-12-2023
6

A fair puzzler missing class

Nothing wrong with these low budget movies in a single location, where you'll grow eager to find out how it all came to be. The story is also reasonably well thought out and offers some layers near the end. But I found both the actors and direction missing intensity and depth.
6

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
6

Lacks in too many areas to make it work

The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.
6

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
6

I thought it'd be warmer

The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.
6

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-08-2019
6

Hit and miss. Loads of them.

I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.
6

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

The chipmunks fear that their dad's love interest might lead him to abandon them, so they set out to sabotage the engagement.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-03-2016
6

Ok for kids. An endurancetest for adults.

Sure, it's an uncomplicated fun adventure, kids will get some fun out of it, and let's not forget the effects blending so seamlessly we don't even notice them anymore. But a kids movie equally suitable for adults, this is not.
6

Bloodshot

Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
6

Lacks characters to make it work

With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.
6

Annabelle

A doll brings supernatural misery into a young couples' lives

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2014
6

Lacks suprises or innovation

Somewhat scary, but hindered by the plastic main actors and the collection of scares that all are all taken from other movies, making everything seem boringly familiar.
6

Tau

Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
6

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows

While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.
6

The Free Fall

After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

Ideas were there, movie making skills were not

Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.
6

Mine

After a compromised mission, a soldier hears a mine arm under his feet, leaving him standing pined-down, helpless all alone in the desert

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2017
6

Overreached

A courageous idea that requires a level of acting and screenplay that this movie unfortunately does not have. Near the end it derails in a swamp of endless cliched flashbacks and emotional scenes that had me begging for it to stop.
6

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Demigod kids confront Kronos because their precious summercamp is in jeopardy. No really.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-08-2014
6

I doubt even teenagers will really fall for it

It just - BAM- puts you in this fantasyworld with gods and magic without ever introducing us to anything, without building tension of mystery. There's some charm in the fantasy elements, but mostly it is a childish bunch of whining teenagers. There's also a lack of sea monsters.
6

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Avengers are being attacked by a malicious computer intelligence as well as evil twins

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-10-2015
6

Dull and utterly soulless comic mayhem

Eye-candy it may be, but my god this is flat as a pancake. I cared for no one, as none of the characters was scared of anything as they chatted their way through tiresome and over the top nonsense battles.
6

3022

The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
6

Just made it

It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.
6

The Tomorrow War

People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
6

Forgettable and hardly interesting

While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.
6

The Great Wall

Fortune seekers looking for gun powder find out what the Great Wall of China was protecting against

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-12-2017
6

A popsicle

It tries to dazzle with colorful combat suits and pretty scenery, but the fighting and action is so over the top silly that it fails in doing so. It is impossible to take it seriously and therefore this flirt with potentially profound Chinese folklore is merely a quick sugar fix.
6

Ready Player One

In a near future, where people spend most of their time living their fantasies in VR, a group of friends aims to solve a grand puzzle in this virtual world

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
6

Childish and patronizing fan service

I am a movie, game and VR aficionado so this ought to have been perfect for me. But I found it hard to get into this childish and strange mixture, and it struck me like it was made by someone who doesn't really play games and was constantly going: see what i did here. You kids like this yes?
6

The Titan

On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
6

Experiment failed

It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.
6

Hipersomnia

While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
6

Should have been better

Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.
6

Higher Power

A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
6

subpar until it ends

A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!
6

Zombie Lake

Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
6

Be ready for the worst and have a good time

Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.
6

Babylon

The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
6

A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies

I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.
6

12 Strong

Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
6

Unbelievable

If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.
6

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