BoiledDown.netIf everyone's a critic, then so are we! |
The Monuments Men
In WWII, a specialized group sets out to save artworks from destruction or being stolen by the nazis
Wittenberg
07-09-2014
A very boring movie
A moviesubject in danger of being boring. And despite the A-list of actors and undoubtedly good intentions, I am sorry to say that it is.A walk among the tombstones
Private detective searching for a bunch of sickos mutilating and killing the loved ones of drug dealers
RockmeNow
24-07-2015
Another movie with Liam Neeson, definitely not one of his best
I am still wondering what the writers were thinking, as well as Liam Neeson reading the script. Watching a goldfish in a fish tank for 114 minutes must be more exciting than this...The 5th Wave
Girl tries to rescue her little brother amidst an alien invasion in 5 waves
Wittenberg
21-08-2016
Derailed
After a reasonable start, it derails in cheesy teenage love stories, unexciting screenplay, annoying army-squads comprising of teenagers and emo's, and sloppy movie making with aliens that conveniently look just like humans.The Brothers Grimsby
Lowlife british scumbag finds his long lost brother, and gets involved in his MI6 spy job along the way
Wittenberg
11-12-2016
Unprecentented vulgarities are not enough
Some of the scenes are so unbearably low and vulgar that in itself they could have given this movie some sort of cult status. Unfortunately, the lame action and humorless story surrounding is gets rid of that option.Captain Marvel
A woman with superpowers and generic green aliens and avengers and tessaracts and whfff
Wittenberg
27-09-2020
I felt nothing
A cheerful, colorful, slick looking action superhero movie that went straight through me.Flatliners (2019)
Med students have themselves killed and take a peak at the afterlife before they are reanimated. But all is not fun and games.
Wittenberg
24-08-2019
Same problem as the original, executed worse
Like the original, the concept is awesome but I still find the clue rather dull and unsatisfying. Worse, in this version some of characters are quite annoying, some of their lines rather cheesy and the scares copied and uninspired. I was waiting for everyone to just say sorry and get this over with.Battle Royal
A class of students are placed on an island, and the game is that only one survives
Wittenberg
12-05-2022
A bloodfest turned into snoozefest
I was curious because it was listed somewhere as a real shocker, but the gore is not that bad - less so than many splatter horrors around. Furthermore I don't think I will ever get used to Japanese overacting and drama. The scholars are boring, annoying and their contemplations uninteresting.The OA
A missing blind girl one day returns with sight, and an amazing story about the afterlife she entrusts to a small group of people
Wittenberg
25-12-2023
Problematic, but the premise may pull you through
Another Netflix endeavor with a mysterious story that is only just able to make you watch the whole thing, but requires you to sit through excruciatingly slow passages and episodes, flat one-trick characters, many dubious plot-points and even some crinche here and there. The twist felt uninspired.Slenderman
Some kids summon slenderman
Wittenberg
17-08-2019
Slenderman deserves better
I really like the slenderman figure and wanted to like this, but the lead actresses don't really convince, and everything is just moving very slowly from one scare to the next, filling up time in a story that feels a bit loose and lacking ideas, and ultimately, never gets really scary.Prisoners of the Ghostland
A convict is chartered to rescue a woman from a mysterious group that is held captive by ghosts. If not he explodes.
Wittenberg
16-12-2021
Weird is not always good
Some pretty colors and scenes aside, this is mostly uncomfortably odd and confusing. You could argue that is to be commended for being different and broken free from the mainstream, but not in a way that I found pleasing.Silent Hill Revelation
Girl must save her father, who is trapped in a place full of demons
Wittenberg
08-09-2013
Not as scary as it looks
This contains some very moody scenery and genuinely nightmarish footage. But the girl's plan is basically walking from one demon challenge to the next, and the rest of the story is either boring or incomprehensible.Nightflyers
The crew on a spaceship, on it's way to make contact with alien lifeforms, finds itself in more and more peril as they come closer
Wittenberg
18-03-2019
These poor series still contain enough mystery to make it worthwhile
So for this monumentally important mission, they assembled the most insecure, insubordinate, fashion-conscious and unstable crew they could find and make them improvise the entire mission in an insanely incoherent way. But apparently I love space mystery so much that I still watched it. All of it.The Last Full Measure
Pentagon hotshot reluctantly investigates a request for a posthumous medal of honor, and gets more and more involved as he talks to the veterans
Wittenberg
07-09-2020
Overdone
They managed to get a whole bunch a A-list actors giving all they got. But it feels overacted, over dramatized and forced down your throat. The clips during the end scroll demonstrate how veterans ACTUALLY talk. A noble cause for sure, but unnecessarily heavy-handed. Boring, even.Monster Hunter
Army ranger accidently winds up in another dimension where she must fight monsters
Wittenberg
21-03-2021
Awesomeness that left me cold
Such a potential premise, such a big budget, yet still so uninteresting and shallow. I thought only the finale back on earth was somewhat badass. The movie seems to look a lot like the game it was based upon, so perhaps fans will get more out of it.Ghost in the Shell: The New Movie
I think it's about cyborg major leading a team to resolve the assassination of the prime minister
Wittenberg
12-03-2017
Too complicated, not enough magic
It kept some of the magic of the original, but what it kept mostly is endless incomprehensible techno/politics that I could not stay focused on. It's not bad looking, but most of the art of the first movie is no longer here.Immanence
Scientists go on a boat to sea to investigate possible extraterrestial phenomena.. or is it divine phenomena?
Wittenberg
06-03-2022
The story was there, the rest was not
I usually dig science babble, but coming out of the mouths of these guys it sounded ridiculous. And while the story had potential, I am afraid the execution fell short in many other fields as well. Confusing and weird, in a bad way. Clearly not filmed on sea, disguised by pitch black surroundings.Forbidden World
Astronout lands on a base where an alien experiment get out of hand
Wittenberg
17-10-2021
Didn't turn out to be a classic
I watched this old nugget for some nostalgic quirks and perhaps hidden gems, but I am not sure I found them. Sure it has some remarkable nonsense and campy effects, but it's mostly just a bit crappy.USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage
This ship went on a secret mission to deliver the atomatic bomb, but was sunk on the way back, leaving the few survivors in hellish waters
Wittenberg
26-02-2017
Overreached
This movie's overblown ambitions of doing war, drama, survival, courtroom and romance contrast sharply with bad fx, uninspired screenplay, half-baked actors and dodgy editing. I was bored watching those men get eaten by sharks, which can't be right!The Phoenix incident
You know those 4 skatedude guys who went missing in Arizona? It was aliens man!
Wittenberg
23-12-2015
Too shaky
Hurah! It's not just found footage; it's loud, noisy and restless shaky footage too. Which makes this mockumentary, shoving a conspiracy down our throat, rather tiresome and lame.Rape Zombie: Lust of the Dead
A few girls try to survive when all men turn into those
Wittenberg
14-08-2023
Not the killer pulp I hoped for
A film with a good chance of being so outrageously bad and incorrect that it becomes secretly enjoyable, but alas it had too little good ideas or energy for that. It's all quite lifeless. All the zombies walking around with their pants on their ankles earned it a bonus point though.Firestarter (2022)
Girl tries to control and live with her ability to set things on fire, but evil people make her loose her cool
Wittenberg
05-06-2022
Left me cold (that punchline is probably taken)
One of those movies that, on the face of it, looks quite solid and adept, and makes you wonder why you're not enjoying it more. I think her parent's additional paranormal abilities get in the way of an already uninspired and even boring story that fails to ignite. (That's probably also taken.)Hungerford
Some roomies/friends try to survice, after space visitors turn everyone into zombies. Good thing one of them was just doing a film project.
Wittenberg
13-11-2020
A minimal found-footage flick with annoying protagonist
I should sympathize with what they managed to create using very little resources, but it really was pretty basic zombie stuff. Some acted pretty good, some were ok, but the main character was a really annoying dude, and I started to despise his constant heavy breathing and drama.Fantastic Mr. Fox
Fox and friends engage in a war with local farmers when they steal chickens
Wittenberg
13-11-2021
Did not push my buttons
It looks and feels artistically sound and could please Roald Dahl fans. Personally, I found the puppets not very pleasant to look at and I don't like the storytelling much. It's not outstandingly funny, exciting or clever, I did not know how to process it and even got a bit strangely agitated.Reminiscence
When the future is bleak, people instead relive past memories with a machine. The operator running that facility gets involved when a femme fatale shows up
Wittenberg
06-12-2021
half decent idea failed
The opportunity to do something cunning with the central idea gets lost in dull, pseudo film-noir kitsch, and the plot twist comes way too late to redeem it. But the real problems are inexcusably crincy Hollywood dialogue, audience pampering, poorly choreographed fights, among others.The Matrix 4: Resurrections
Neo, living in the matrix again as a guy who made a matrix game, goes back into the matrix to save Trinity, who is in the matrix.
Wittenberg
28-02-2022
This time, the mindbender is the movie itself
I am not sure how a 4th sequel could have worked or what I wanted from it, but surely it wasn't this. I hate the lazy self aware 'meta' approach and the revisiting of classic moments. Nothing really works anymore, I cringed multiple times. An odd misfire, which makes you wonder how this came to be.The Soul (2022)
Prosecutor dying of cancer takes on a murder case that reveals dark secrets and transplants of more than just cells
Wittenberg
29-05-2022
Probably a brillant story but failed in presentation
I can appreciate the deep, well thought out story that stacks several layers of twists on each other, providing a real thinker of a crime story with perhaps a dash of horror. But it is presented so slowly en depressingly that I struggled to notice or care - and to stay awake too.Pacific Rim: Uprising
The monsters have been defeated, but not for long
Wittenberg
03-01-2019
Do you like robot fights?
Listen, I just came here for giant robots smashing huge monsters, and got what I wanted. Never mind that every person in this movie is a ridiculous Hollywood abomination and everything they say and do is stupid as can be, making this essentially a horrible Power Rangers movie with no soul.Captain America: Civil War
All superhero's turn on each other for some reason
Wittenberg
11-11-2016
More boring and emotionless over the top stuff
In endless talking scenes, which made my son decide to watch something else, all sorts of story-lines from other movies are desperately and uninterestingly brought together. The battles are frantic but boring because noone ever gets hurt. And I still don't care about anyone.Synchronicity
Small teams get a timemachine to run work, one of them gets caught up in paradoxes
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
The story is there. Execution is not.
There's probably a really clever, if not somewhat difficult to follow, story in here. But the really lackluster execution, dull performances, suspiciously limited locations and depressing dark colors made me struggle to care... no matter how much bladerunner music they throw in!Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
With inside help, Alice gets a change to destroy the T-virus once and for all
Wittenberg
18-06-2017
Looks alright, feels numb
Much like the previous parts, this looks good and has some creative, vicious beasts on offer. But it also features the same hollow, boring screenplay and empty characters. It feels like a bunch of monster challenges glued together.Moon 44
Pilot/cop goes undercover to a mining planet to oversee the convict pilots fighting of an alien invasion
Wittenberg
13-08-2023
A disappointing story in a cool scifi environment
The scenery, with it's dark and steamy hallways and spaceships, is remarkably like an Aliens, so that's good! The story though, is mostly convicts and and their navigators fighting, while the hero smokes cigarettes and tries to look cool - not really interesting.Murder Mystery 2
Murder solving couple takes a much needed break on a distant island, but soon enough they're at it again
Wittenberg
08-04-2023
Formulaic slapstick with too little good jokes
I can see what they are going for, and objectively all the ingredients are here for a shot of uncomplicated amusement. I just thought the jokes were not all that, and everything is so safe, formulaic and predictable it feels like you have already seen it - and will forget about it tomorrow.House of Wax
Group of friends winds up in a desolate town where the wax museum holds a horrible secret
Wittenberg
18-06-2023
original subject can't generic horror formula
The wax subject is quite original and caters for some reasonable horror moments. The subject feels slightly underused though, but that's not the main problem. That would be the same old cast of pretty young adults behaving generically, unrealistically and rather tiresomely.Kill Command
Future space marines go train against robots in the woods, but then the robots start to become agressive beyond the program.
Wittenberg
11-09-2016
Nice robots though
Some guys were quite adept at making some good scifi designs and robotics, but not at making a movie around it. The combat lacks tension, performances are underwhelming, there's a lot or repetition and I fell asleep twice.Carnage
Single location film about parents meeting up try to resolve a physical clash between their sons. All start polite and aim to resolve the matter....
Wittenberg
10-01-2015
Great idea didn't work
A brave and fascinating idea that, given the actors, should have been firework. If fails however, as their quarrels are too scripted, their behavior, flip-flop mood swings and intoxication feel unnatural and phoney. And then there's the bizarre overacting of a constantly trembling Jodie Foster.The Huntsman: Winter's War
An alternative, side-story story situated around the area and events of the snow white fairy tale
Wittenberg
28-01-2017
Nothing to stand out or excite
I think the good intentions are there, but I found it rather flat and uninvolving, appearing rather insignificant next to giants like The Lord of the Ring.The Grudge
Woman takes home a curse from Japan, spelling doom for everyone that enters her house. A police officer investigates.
Wittenberg
22-12-2020
A well-made but boring jumpscare horror with zero new ideas
On the face of it, this looks and feels like a decent quality horror with fine actors too. Unfortunately, it has absolutely nothing else to offer but consecutive tired jump-scares with loud noises that you see coming from a mile away - and which get boring pretty quickly.The Great Raid
In WW2 soldiers undertake a daring missing to rescue prisonors from the Japanese Abanatuan camp
Wittenberg
15-01-2017
Felt like a movie, not a war rescue mission
I don't mean to sound disrespectful about this amazing operation, but I wasn't to keen on this movie. I constantly felt I was watching actors playing soldiers and prisoners, with unrealistic over rehearsed lines ruining the mood. The cliched and disconnected 'war movie music' didn't help either.Carrie (2013)
Girl with telekenetic powers and a hideous religous freakmother is being bullied one time too many
Wittenberg
25-07-2014
Identical yet inferior to the original
Who ordered this? A really pointless remake that does everything exactly the same, except for in the eerie atmosphere and masterful cinematography of the original. The only thing new is that the kids now have mobile phones with YouTube. Breathtaking. Moretz is overacting badly too.Risen
Meteors crash on earth causing death among the nearby inhabitants. An xeno-astro-expert is called in to help.
Wittenberg
13-09-2021
Good setup undone by some unfortunate desicions
The setup is similar to "The Arrival", which is a good thing. The first half is also decent enough. But to make the expert such a depressed, lifeless character doesn't do any favors to the already slow-ish movie, and the plot twist is smothered in overblown flashbacks. Some poor CGI at places, too.Resident Evil: damnation
A seperate side story of the franchice? I don't know what it is. Hero vs monster things
Wittenberg
08-05-2021
Somewhat cool, mostly hollow and pointless
It probably looked awesome when it was released. Today it looks okay, and has some reasonably intense Resident Evil abominations running around. But I couldn't care less about the lifeless hero dork, or the vague story that came from nowhere and went nowhere. Not even sure what this is?The Unholy
Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
Fair story just not exectuted well
The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.Color Out of Space
Things get weird and nasty when a meteor-like object and a mysterious color land in the garden of family living isolated in the woods.
Wittenberg
07-06-2020
A bit vague and improvised
It's somewhat ok, but I felt the horrors and scares were random and incoherent collection of things borrowed from other movies. As if every idea dropped was incorporated into this, no matter if it made sense. Consequently, it never gets really scary or intense and I was sort of glad when it was overHercules
Hercules and his companions help out a king against an evil army, but has he been fighting on the right side? And is he really a demigod?
RockmeNow
30-12-2014
Superficial B movie, somebody wake me up afterwards please
I will not spend many words discussing this movie. So I leave it with this...Wittenberg
07-12-2014
A bit boring
The large fights and mythical creatures should cater for some entertainment, but Hercules is a bit of a a B-movie dork, it never reaches anything deep, and frankly I was actually quite bored most of the time. They way they tease about Hercules' skills and origins was a nice find though.A Good Day to Die Hard
McClane helps out his son, who appearantly is involved in some CIA operation in Russia
Wittenberg
15-09-2013
Boring high-octane action. Huh?
Contains some decent old-skool car chases and explosions, but none of it really becomes exciting. The story starts of clumsy and distant, then becomes bland and uninteresting. Definitely misses the Die Hard vibe.Incantation
A woman is cursed of doing some ritual wrong. And she also adopts this daugther - I am not sure how it was related
Wittenberg
09-07-2022
Too messy
There are a couple of intense images, and the underlying vibe of strange and spooky rituals has potential. But the mockumentary approach was far-fetched and not doing it any favors, and the story and timeline are very confusing and jumpy. And honestly, I was kind of bored with it.Terminator Dark Fate
More or less the original story but with more females
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
No
Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.Windtalkers
Marines are reluctantly tasked with protecting native american soldiers and their ability to transfer indecipherable messages
Wittenberg
10-05-2022
Did not age well
I think it made an impression as a war movie in the day, but I fear it has aged poorly. The acting and dialogues can be quite corny, the emotional scenes induce cringe, and the action is almost laugable with the hero shooting from the hip and all bad guys instantly drop dead.Expiry
A couple fails to have children before the expiry date of their relationship, then a bracelet makes physical contact impossible
Wittenberg
25-04-2021
Too thin
This almost sort of worked, as a minimalistic, futuristic story of a forbidden relationship. But after a while it starts to loose momentum, the therapy sessions (?) with some sort of HAL computer seem endless and pointless and the final escape scene brings it to amateuristic levels.The Nun
A horrorstory based around the creepy nun from The Conjuring 2
Wittenberg
10-12-2018
Relies on scary nuns in alleys, not on a good story
While the dark abbey and nun figure do look terrifying, it soon becomes evident that this simply a stack of people slowly walking through creepy corridors and slowly turning their heads towards the next jumpscare. The story or built-up is seriously lacking and it started to bore me.The Temple
Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
They forgot to write it
I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
The Transylvanian monsters go on a cruise, but they are not free from danger
Wittenberg
10-08-2019
Hit and miss. Loads of them.
I am beginning to see that the manic rate of good and bad jokes per minute is a trademark of this franchise, rather than perhaps a way to camouflage the lack of really good ideas. So it's non-stop hit and miss, but ultimately quite forgettable. Except maybe the fish. And the puppy.The Last Voyage of the Demeter
A ship transports a doomed cargo from Transalvania to London.
Wittenberg
10-09-2023
Lacks inpsiration or surprises
Everything is there for a genuinely creepy experience: A mysterious monster, a squeaky wooden ship and gloomy dark seas. Yet I wasn't scared by it, perhaps even a little indifferent. There's something too modern about the style, and a lack of surprises or connection with the characters.Bloodshot
Soldier and his wife are killed, but he is revived with superpowers so he gets to take revenge
Wittenberg
03-01-2021
Lacks characters to make it work
With a few layers and twists on offer, the story is more interesting than I feared it would be, and I counted two pretty decent action scenes. But the one dimensional characters, of whom none is really likable, and the borderline B_movie vibe, make it hard to care about any of it.3022
The crew of a remote space station is faced with tough choices when disaster strikes... back on earth
Wittenberg
27-02-2021
Just made it
It's definitely one of those movies where, due to a lack of resources, people walk and talk endlessly in a handful of sets. So it can be plain and sluggish. But I have to say the actors, music and story are not too bad and manage to lift this movie into the realm of ok.The Tomorrow War
People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
Forgettable and hardly interesting
While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.Curvature
A timemachine forces a woman to stop her other self, who has already used it, from committing a murder
Wittenberg
27-01-2019
Too flawed to make the story come alive
I am a sucker for awesome stories like these, that have the deep low synth tones as a soundtrack, like this one, even if they are made with limited resources... like this one. But it is very minimal indeed, with slow pacing and unconvincing acting, making me bored rather than intrigued.Hipersomnia
While rehearsing for a play, an actress gets mixed up in a horrible alternate reality in a brothel from hell
Wittenberg
30-11-2019
Should have been better
Potentially a mind bending horror story, it feels like the creators just didn't have what it takes. It feels a bit amateuristic and improvised. near the end it derails further, with out of control horror music blasting over a just average finale.Romina
Girl takes horrific revenge on Spanish campers after two of them rape her
Wittenberg
21-07-2018
Spoils itself
The Spanish vibe was a nice change from American teens, and they deliver authentic streams of non-stop chit-chat about nothing. This movie begins by showing how they will end butchered, so after a while I just started waiting for it to happen, getting bored of the cinematic tricks along the way.Higher Power
A nobody is used exprimentally to perfoms hitjobs, but gradually his altered capabilites make him godlike... for good reason
Wittenberg
07-11-2020
subpar until it ends
A strange and disjointed affair that feels directionless and amateuristic. I was about to smack it down, only to find it ending in really stylish special effects, gorgeous colors and mesmerizing scenery. Not nearly enough to save it, but what a turn of events!Zombie Lake
Small town is terrorized by zombies in a lake, eating mostly nude females
Wittenberg
12-11-2021
Be ready for the worst and have a good time
Full of technical errors, non-existent effects, dodgy acting, among many other problems. Successful as campy nonsense though, with a plenty of unnecessary nudity. And that one zombie who starts to feel empathy is not something you see everyday.Man of Tai Chi
In order to help his master and temple, a Tai Chi expert is forced to use this soft style in a hard way in illegal underground fights
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
Dozing off during bare-handed fights to the death.... weird
Who knows: these could be some of the most complicated and extraordinary fighting scenes ever. But it is all remarkably boring, because of the unoriginal story and lack of any tension. Keanu portays one of the most dull one-trick pony villains ever.V/H/S 2
Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
lacks inspiration
It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.Iron Man 3
Iron man takes on a terrorist
Wittenberg
13-10-2013
Iron mess
Mindblowing events and technology, yet noone seems to give a damn. So neither did I. A mess of rushed storytelling, boredom, an unlikable hero, noise and so much Iron man suits that I stopped caring about any of them. Suicide by abundance.12 Strong
Soon after 9-11, a special forces team is sent to Afghanistan to assist a local tribe with fighting the Taliban
Wittenberg
28-07-2020
Unbelievable
If it's based on a true story, I found it suspicious how the Taliban kept running into the line of fire, were unable to hit anything and how the Americans made perfect shots from galloping horses they never rode before. The quasi deep lectures from the tribe leader also annoyed me.Infinitum: Subject Unknown
In a sort of experiment, a woman must escape from a house during which she interacts with parallel escape attempts from herself in other dimensions
Wittenberg
30-07-2021
Quite plain considering the subject
I think the misleading poster artwork is what they actually had in mind: a mind-bending puzzler about realities intertwined through dimension. It contrasts starkly with the very plain and and basic execution in which someone tries to escape a house and the dimension thing hardly takes of.Khanzab
A girl tries to solve the mystery of her father's violent death, and black magic curse surrounding her family
Wittenberg
01-10-2023
Good scares for some scenes, but not an entire movie
I was looking forward to experiencing the Indonesian take on horror. There are some moods and scenes that are quite intense, but they repeated until they loose their effectiveness. The story gets quite messy and the spirits pop in like puppets a haunted house at the fair.Hippopotamus
With no memory, a girl awakens in a room with a man telling her she can't leave until she loves him
Wittenberg
10-12-2023
A fair puzzler missing class
Nothing wrong with these low budget movies in a single location, where you'll grow eager to find out how it all came to be. The story is also reasonably well thought out and offers some layers near the end. But I found both the actors and direction missing intensity and depth.Heavy Metal
Several story's connected by a green power-mongering sphere that brings out the worst in our wold.. and others
Wittenberg
01-03-2020
Not aged well
Sure, there is some stuff to like, but most of the appeal starts to rest on being a 'cult classic ' rather than on actually being great. I suspect it's relevance at the time has since been far surpassed by Manga.Spectral
Through their special visors, soldiers start to see ghostly figures that start coming after them
Wittenberg
04-06-2017
Decent ingredients but no cake
This started off ok with decent looks and characters, and initially it served the mysterious premise nice and easy. But as it progresses, there's not much more than chases and shootouts that feel distant and never truly excite. Also, the all-knowing McGuyver scientist was getting on my nerves.Trench 11
Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
A bit underwhelming
The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.Sausage Party
Adult animation about groceries in a supermarket that find out what happens to them when they are chosen
Wittenberg
06-10-2017
Funny idea with too little good jokes
I was thinking we need more animation with adult humor and themes, but unfortunately this is not quite it. The story is whack, but it simply lacks good material and jokes. It almost seems odd how one can think of a story like this and then make it not funny.Johnny English Strikes Again
A superhacker has exposed al secret agents, leaving the Secret Service no choice but Johnny English to turn to
Wittenberg
30-12-2018
Funny but lazy
I guess it would be unfair too call it formulaic, since this franchise IS a formula. But while I had a good time and some laughs, I couldn't help but feel it is slightly easy and lazy.Prey
Some guys just about to finish a hike through the woods, are hunted down by someone with rifle
Wittenberg
23-09-2021
Needed more
The scenery is pretty, and the plain, no-nonsense execution gives it some purity. But it's hard to connect with the characters who are also having irrelevant work-related quarrels, and the plot is really a very thin succession of shot-flee-argue over and over. It misses some sort of twist or payoff.Phantom
Russian sub must carry a mysterious crew and device along on a mission
Wittenberg
16-03-2014
Good intentions drowned in mistakes
Some fine actors and submarine drills can't compensate for a miscasted Duchovny and slow and insecure script. Most exciting scenes are destroyed when, in the heat of a moment, Duchovny asks "what are you doing now", and the captain actually pauses his command and starts to explain!!!!The 9th Company
Russian soldiers get trained for a mission in Afghanistan
Wittenberg
30-10-2016
I think I was supposed to hate the other guys
I'm sorry, was I supposed to care about these obnoxious, loud, misbehaven, ugly, drinking, gang raping soldiers? Once the stage moves to Afghanistan the movie gets better, but not enough to make up for it.The Shadow Effect
Guy keeps dreaming he's doing violent assisinations... but are they dreams?
Wittenberg
25-11-2017
Only just above B level
It's a decent idea and the main actors do their best, but the movie is just not there. Some of the scenes and acting are awkward, editing is clunky, and chasing scenes were missing out on tension.The Free Fall
After a suicide attempt a woman recovers under the care of her husband. But the doens't remember him, or her attempt....
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
Ideas were there, movie making skills were not
Near the end of this movie, it features some pretty interesting plot twists and scenery, suggesting that some creative minds were involved. But it contrasts starkly with the rest of the film, which feels very artificial and poorly made, like a cheap TV movie.Yakamoz S-245
A group of marine scientists escapes global extinction due to a solarburst, and have to work together with the crew of a military sub to find a new home
Wittenberg
15-10-2022
Loaded with problems, but there's something in there
This series was packed with a lot of problems: one dimensional characters, stalling forever, bizarre behavior and dialogues, and weird decisions throughout - to name but a few. But somehow, the fab color pallet, the music, some scenes and the interesting premise manage to keep it afloat.Couples Retreat
Couples agree to go to a discounted paradise vacation, not realizing relationship therapy is part of the package
Wittenberg
14-02-2016
Predictably average
Besides a colorful tropical scenery and a couple of laughs, this one has only average and mostly predictable jokes and the inevitable moral ending to offer.Errementari
Misunderstood and isolated, a blacksmith is keeping a hellish demon in captivity when a little girl enters his property
Wittenberg
28-10-2018
Too much like a musical
The style and dialogues are very overdone and overacted. This may give the movie a unique, almost musical play vibe to it, but it also means that is a bit dopey at times and not really scary either. I liked the Dante-proof scenes of hell near the end though.Beyond Skyline
Group of people fighting a blue led alien invasion
Wittenberg
19-02-2021
Strange mixture
An unusual combination of reasonably high FX and production values, some unpretentious B movie actors and atmosphere don't even pretend to be anything else, and then a rather odd turn of events that takes the action to the jungle. Not a masterpiece by any means, but it entertains.Lazer Team
A spacesuit that was sent to earth to protect us from bad aliens, falls in the hands nobodies. Now it's up to them to save earth.
Wittenberg
19-08-2016
Fun concept exectued unremarkably
Sort of cozy and sympathetic, but most jokes fall flat and it has a very generic feeling about, like you have already seen it.Babylon
The ups and downs of two actors in the days of the early Hollywood industry
Wittenberg
14-01-2024
A loud movie about a world and people that only exist in movies
I probably should write something like "A daring expose of the decadence and ruthlessness of the inner workings of Hollywood", but frankly I found this a rather loud, unpleasantly over the top movie, with unlikable, unrelatable and exaggerated characters. Pretentious and Oscar hungry.Extraterrestial
Adolescents camping in the woods find themselves amongst aliens
Wittenberg
12-09-2015
Manages to be ok
It's the same old adolescents , going to the same old cabin in the woods with the same old aliens. But there's a couple of scenes, moments and even performances in here that keep this movie in the green.Sharknado
A storm brings hungry sharks way inland, especially those in the tornado!
Wittenberg
02-03-2014
Succesfully bad
With a story like that, this movie needed to be bad. And it succeeded effortlessly, with an helpless actors, abysmal effects, bad editing and incoherent lighting in every scene. So if you are INTO that sort of thing, you could be sort of entertained. If not, like a said: it really is bad.Occhi Chiusi
A woman is living isolated in the mountains with her daughter, and things get weird. Or something.
Wittenberg
13-02-2024
Not only hard to see, also hard to grasp
With dark and often very closed-up imagery, and depressing and slow flow, it certainly has a ominous and unsettling vibe to it. But I found the story too unclear and vague to make much of it. I am not sure what it was about, and that's not always a good thing.Let Her Out
Something's growing inside of a woman... and it starts to take over
Wittenberg
25-02-2019
Doesn't do itself justice
The basic idea is quite good and could potentially have resulted in a very intense, physiological and emotional horror. But alas, despite a reasonable beginning, I found the actors weren't up to it and the movie has mostly some plain and borrowed jump scares to offer.Time Trap
When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere
I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.Deathgasm
Outcasted and bored metalheads play a song that summons evil
Wittenberg
12-06-2022
Go harder
I liked the idea of making the foul subjects of metal come alive, but unfortunately this movie offers only some lukewarm gags and horrors. And despite all the effort, there still is something unmetal about it - like they didn't dare to venture into the actual macabre subjects of some of these bands.Terminator: Genisys
The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'
Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas
When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
An unnecessary movie with no audience
If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Decorated Iraq soldier relives his experiences, and contemplates going back there, all during a honouring appearance in football game show
Wittenberg
14-05-2017
Lacks in too many areas to make it work
The alternating scenes of war and hollow mass entertainment could and should have generated interesting contrast, but I found it too unfocused in what it was trying to say, it lacked style, dialogue was lengthy and some themes, like the negotiations for the movie salary were uninteresting to me.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Mysterious chocolate maker invites kids to his factory where one will win a price
Wittenberg
29-12-2018
I thought it'd be warmer
The original book passed me by, so I may be missing the point. While I can see the magical adventure on offer, I also thought this was rather sterile, cold and strange - especially Depp's performance - up till the point of being uncanny and unpleasant.The Hangover III
The wolfpack gets involved in crazy mafia adventures yet again, but this time they're sober
Wittenberg
07-02-2016
I felt cheated
The 'what the hell happened last night' joke may have been running out of fuel. But as I watched the half-baked comedy that remained without it, I couldn't help but feel cheated.There's Something Wrong With the Children
Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
Not intense or scary enough
The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.The Amazing Spider-Man
Man gets spiderpowers and saves the world from lizardman
Wittenberg
21-02-2013
Pretty whatever for someone amazing
Making wisecrack remarks while flying through the air during a live threatening battle - kind or ruined things for me. Lizardman not scary either.Captive State
An underground network of rebels fight back against alien occupation
Wittenberg
01-08-2019
Average
Apart from a few tasty scenes, the scifi level is very low and they might as well have been fighting human oppressors. I found it hard to follow what everyone was doing and what the plan was, and the red dust from the poster is not in this movie AT ALL. Quite average.Neighbors
Young couple with a baby has a fraternity move in next door. The war begins
Wittenberg
15-03-2015
Watching people having fun wasn't much fun
The lead actors put in a lot of energy and effort into it, but cannot save this mediocre comedy with a shortage of good jokes. The endless fraternity partying and self-contempted mayhem was rather exhausting to me.Harbinger Down
Crab fishing boat picks up a space derelict from the ice, after which something otherwordly preys upon the crew
Wittenberg
21-10-2019
Bearable for sci-fi horror enthusiasts
Acting is mostly bad. Dialogue strange and clunky. Monster makes inappropriate animal growls. And plenty of bad stuff besides. But still, the concept of something mysterious happening on a dark, desolate ship in the arctic is still enough to make this worthwhile, and some of it is quite okay.Movies found: 1043 | max movies per page: 100 | Showing: 131 - 230
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