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The Room

Lisa is about to marry Johnny, but loves his friend Mark instead.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-01-2022
3

If you can reach the right state of mind, it could be mind blowing

I knew what I was getting into, and was ready for the abysmal to turn into laughter, fascination and/or admiration. But I started to realize you probably need some friends and beers to reach that state, but on my own I wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself.
3

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

Anti Life aka Breach

Crew on a spaceship transporting the last batch of inhabitants for new earth gets infected, turning them into zombies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-04-2021
3

Dead on arrival

It doesn't pretend to be much, and it doesn't even try or care either. It feels like they gave up hope pretty early on, and just had everyone running through the same hallway until they were done with it. Utterly empty.
3

Mermaid Down

Mermaid is caught, her tail is cut off, she grows legs and ends up in a asylum with weirdos. Yes.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-05-2020
3

A weird failure

Is this REALLY the best mermaid story they came up with? It is ludicrous, strangely paced and uncomfortable throughout. It's like the makers were so increasingly ashamed of this movie that they tried bury it up in increasing levels darkness. The frequent 10/10 scores on IMDB are a deep mystery.
3

Scary Movie V

Spoofs, mostly about Mama and Paranormal Activity

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-11-2013
3

A hideous collection of jokes with various degrees of failure

I actually liked 'Paranormal Whacktivity' better.
3

Deus

A spaceship travels to a mysterious sphere to investigate

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2022
3.5

Terrible scifi with insufficient but still present elements of quality

Apart from the outside space graphics, nothing else convinces in any way. Not the actors, not the ship interior, not the dialogues, not the music, not the directing, not the ship's plumbing. The story and twist are sort of interesting, but are unfortunately buried beneath the problems.
3.5

The Internship

With no relevant skills, two sacked salesmen enlist for an internship at Google.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-02-2014
3.5

404 humor not found

Instead of having a ball with the funny premise, this movie is extremely generic, consisting entirely out of tiresome jokes and gut-wrenching Hollywood cliches so banal it made me look away from the screen.
3.5

Seance: the Summoning

Some teens comfortably go into a morgue to summon spirits between corpses, then seem frustrated if things getting scary indeed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-04-2018
3.5

Not even God can save this movie

A hopeless movie with too many things wrong to even list. When it's halfway it reveals itself as a reli-flick. They figure it's not just any ghost they summoned, but a demon and therefore they need to invoke the power of Christ - who must be embarrassed by this.
3.5

Air Strike a.k.a. The Bombing

In a chinese village under constant bombardment from the Japanese, a Chinese pilot is sent on a ground mission to transport a valuable cargo.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-11-2018
3.5

A tiresome mess

So I saw the version with English voiceovers for all Chinese people so that Bruce Willis didn't need to speak Chinese. It makes this mess of a cringe movie even worse, no matter how many explosions there are. The shelter scene is oddly impressive by comparison, like it was made by a different team.
3.5

Halo: Nightfall

A new type of enemy weapon emerges, so brave soldiers must go back to the Halo to resolve it. I think.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-11-2015
3.5

Really drab. feel free to reuse the props in a decent story

Some of it looks satisfactory, but I was bored out of my mind with this extremely poorly paced movie with ultra dull characters chatting and fighting in a completely unconvincing mission in deep space that is immediately and only compromised by..... worms. This is not Halo man.
3.5

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