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Voyagers

Another shipment of space colonist, this time with childred bred specifically for this long journey. Will they keep it cool?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-05-2021
7

Perfectly fine but not so subtle group dynamics in space

It seems reasonable to deem it "Lord of the flies" in space, and I see no shame in it. I liked it. It's just that the emergence of the 'bad group' seemed forced and rushed. It would have been more interesting if they had genuine and reasonable different views instead of just being jerks.
7

Vortex

Through a rift in time, a detective can meet his murdered wife in the past, and try to catch the killer before it's too late.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-06-2023
7

Simple but sweet time travel conundrums

It's perhaps a bit tame, and guilty of picking and choosing only the time travels paradoxes it wants, but all in all we enjoyed this puzzler that mixes crime, time travel and a love-story into a sympathetic series.
7

Void, The

Policeman and some citizins are trapped in a hospital. Oustide await robed knife yielding people, but inside awaits even more dangerous and grotesque horrors.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-04-2023
6.5

Good scares and filth, but a bit directionless

A pretty interesting and sinister horror, with a good atmosphere and some satisfying creature abominations. But without people to really connect with, and without a clear story or resolution to any of it, it kind of feels like a pointless freak show that can only terrify for so long.
6.5

Vivarium

Couple do a house sighting of a strange sterile house in a neigbourhoud where everything seems the same.. and then can't seem to leave the place

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-05-2020
7.5

Refreshingly and pleasantly weird

Sometimes non-standard oddball movies that do something different, mysterious, bizarre and thought- provoking are just so refreshing and satisfying. Like this one.
7.5

Visit, The

Brother and sister document their first a visit to their grandparents. Including what happens with them after 21:30.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-05-2016
7.5

Evolves into something good

What starts of somewhat doubtfully as yet more mockumentary by cute rapping teenagers, gradually evolves into a rather dark, vile, nasty and scary movie indeed. It's slow pacing and lack of gore/fx only make it stronger.
7.5

Videodrome

In a search for something new for an adult channel, the proucers finds out about what appear to be mysterious snuff movies.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2017
6.5

A fine dose of Cronenberg, but he did better later on

It has the the signature Cronenberg oddities and a sense of irresistible filth to it. But it feels kind of old, clumsy and slow by today's standards. Some of the imagery in this movie came back in later work that I found more complete and better executed.
6.5

Veronica

Ouija board. Trouble.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2018
7

Familair but with it's own sauce

Story wise it is familiar material, but the scares are quite subtle and less hysteric than usual. I liked the Spanish vibe on this and especially the three kids were great. But why it's hailed as one of the scariest movies ever made, I have no idea. The music sounds outdated and isn't helping.
7

Velvett Buzzsaw

A newly discovered range of paintings from a diseased, unknown artist, causes jalouzy, death and insanity within a high-class art community

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-10-2021
6.5

Too sterile to make me care

I guess this inside look into the world of art management and competition for the rich make it worthwhile, but the things going on later are not shocking, strange or thought-provoking enough to really take it to a higher level - They left me as cold as the characters themselves.
6.5

Vanishing Waves

Science team tries to save a comatose patient by connecting her brain with that of a a healthy subject.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-09-2014
7

Kills it's darlings

Much to my regret, this movie kills most it's wonderful, imaginative and tasteful scenes, by endlessly dwelling in them. The unprofessional and unlikely science guy and his motivations are also a dissonant I wished they had left out. Too bad, as this had potential for becoming a mesmerizing gem.
7

Valhalla Rising

A mysterious, mute and invincible viking warrior is reluctantly asked to join other vikings in search of the promised land

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-09-2022
7.5

Somber viking tale

This somber, raw and quiet movie, only occasionally augmented by bearded vikings mumbling a few words, is quite a slow burner but is intense nonetheless. It worked for about 3 quarters in, after which I started longing for some action or plot development. Still, a nice change of pace.
7.5

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Valerian and Lauraline are asked to help save a giant space station, but discover a dark secret along the way

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-08-2017
7

Beautifull, wonderfully sassy but utterly convoluted

For the first half I was able to just let the crazy bubbly actors and colorful nonsense be and enjoy the ride. But after she stuck her head in the jellyfish, he watched a strip show to gain access to a transformation suite, I got tired and bored of the endless barrage of convoluted STUFF going on.
7

Vacation

The Grisswold family offspring attemtps to reach Walleyworld yet again

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2015
7.5

A pleasant, very funny surprise

Expecting this to be remotely entertaining at best, I found myself laughing out loud numerous times, which made me realize what a rarity such movies have become. A very funny movie with Applegate and and Helms showing they totally get the vacation-movie heritage and humor.
7.5

V/H/S: Viral

A bunch of unrelated horror fantasy stories, except that they all contain some amount of filming. Not necessarily on VHS though.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-07-2015
4

Messy

I'd like to think there is a deeper meaning behind the foul nastiness. But it felt like an unpleasant, loud and incoherent peak in some perverted minds' shock fantasies. 'Yeh so like there's skate dudes and then zombies come.' End of story. That parallel dimension thing was alright though.
4

V/H/S/85

Another batch off vaul horror story's presented and grainy and buggy VHS quality

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-11-2023
7

restless but satisfying horror and mystery in a distinctive format

The stories are dark and nasty but all have some have a pleasing element of mystery in them, really making you curious. Later on, some smart connections between the stories unfold, which shows they put in some effort instead throwing in random gore. The nervous presentation is a lot, but it worked
7

V/H/S aka VHS

A collection of stories, glued together by a horry story, involving various videorecordings of horrific events .Though not all on VHS it seems.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-12-2017
7.5

Loud noise but plenty to make up for it

The hard, restless cuts and loud music can be a bit much, but I did think they have a unique mood going on, there are enough memorable shock moments. And what really struck me was the natural and believable acting throughout, which made the entirely adolescent cast bearable for once.
7.5

V/H/S 2

Here's more bloody horror stories caught on tape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-03-2018
6

lacks inspiration

It sticks with the formula and delivers a healthy dose of blood and horror, but this time it felt less inspired and original. Some scenes started dwelling and had me going: get on with it! Also, the alien story was out of place and out of touch.
6

USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage

This ship went on a secret mission to deliver the atomatic bomb, but was sunk on the way back, leaving the few survivors in hellish waters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-02-2017
5

Overreached

This movie's overblown ambitions of doing war, drama, survival, courtroom and romance contrast sharply with bad fx, uninspired screenplay, half-baked actors and dodgy editing. I was bored watching those men get eaten by sharks, which can't be right!
5

Us

A family is assaulted in their vacation home by... themselves?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-03-2019
7.5

An interesting horror that is adequately scary

An original, gripping and quite tense horror movie that had me talking and pondering long after it was finished... which is a good thing that I find increasingly rare. I just thought that it felt short on being truly scary or under the skin, the way I thought it would be.
7.5

Upstream Color

Woman is force drugged some sort of maggot. From there on, you figure it out.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-10-2014
7.5

Unique experience if you're up for it

Confusing, strange and distant. But at the same time, by shutting the viewer completely out, you can just observe like a fly on the wall, and become intrigued in the process. Did I sound like I swallowed the maggot just there?
7.5

Upside Down

Two lovers, each on different but nearly touching planets with opposed gravities

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-10-2013
7

West Side Story turned on it's head

It's a wonderful movie with a big heart, but the lovestory in it just doesn't quite reach the same level as the visuals and original ideas.
7

Upgrade

Man looses his wife and spine after a brutal accident and assault. An implant of a autonomous chip gives him control again, along with some new skills that come in handy for revenge.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2020
7.5

Cool man

A stylish, fresh movie with some very cool fighting scenes and a nice mix of sci-fi, action and some humor.
7.5

UP

Dredding a retirement home, an old man uses balloons to fly his home to South America for a longlost adventure

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-05-2018
9

A Pixar Pinnacle

Only Pixar could have made a crazy, highly original story like this work so beautifully. It makes fun of the elderly yet respects them at the same time, it looks great and it features splendid music. A truly heartfelt gem and unique adventure.
9

Unwelcome

After a home invasion, a young couple moves to the countryside. But new dangers await there, too.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-02-2024
7

A unique but tasty cocktail

A remarkable mix of (hard-hitting) home invasion, fairytale folklore horror and perhaps even contemplations about manhood. Even the tone varies from scene to scene. But all in all, it sort of worked. Not a masterpiece, but highly amusing and quite intense at times.
7

Uninvited, The

After psychological treatment, a girl returns to the home where something terrible happened to her mother, and dad's new love interest has moved in as well.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
22-09-2018
6.5

Story is good, other aspects lacking

The horror elements play a supportive role to what is essentially a crime/mystery story, which I found a nice change. There is also an satisfying twist that I did not see coming. Unfortunately, the acting and lines felt superficial, and the lead actress' single-expression face isn't helping.
6.5

Unicorn Wars

Adult animation about colorful bears slaying their sworn enemy: unicorns

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-01-2024
6.5

Irresitable concept but hard to like

The bizarre story and bloody cartoon violence promised a unique experience, but I found the bears too unlikable and too annoying for this, so it was hard to live the moment with them. The finale partially makes up for it, offering something of a more profound experience.
6.5

Unholy, The

Fallen journalist accidently stumbles across a woman performing holy miracles in a small town, but how benevolent is she?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-02-2022
5.5

Fair story just not exectuted well

The story used as a framework is decent enough, but unfortunately didn't quite take off. Everything is a bit uninspired and doesn't seem to connect well (man dies under a burning cross, everyone just goes to the next scene). So we're left with some lackluster scare jumps and unscary horror.
5.5

Unfriended

A single shot view of a computerscreen of a girl hanging out with friends on the web, when something dark from the past comes to haunt them

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-09-2015
7

A novel and well executed horror idea

A bold idea that works surprisingly well and provided a unique scary movie. For sheer originality I wanted to rate this higher, but for that it would have needed more than these unappealing teen characters and a slightly more refined plot.
7

Underwater

People have to find their way up to the surface when something assaults and crumbles an underwater station

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-04-2020
7.5

Not much new but still good underwater thrills

This was unexpectedly solid in fact. Not much wrong with the underwater and alien excitement at all. It is let down by the rather linear story with no real surprises, and looses an entire point for awful appearance of Stewart. God I wish she looked like she did in Camp X-ray in this.
7.5

Under the skin

Alien version of Scarlett Johannsson looking for men who will not live to tell about their close encounter
average 7.5

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-11-2014
7.5

A pleasant mystery

The mystery of not quite getting what is going on really adds to suspense and intrigue and this stylish scifi. Low profile in an effective way, but the many long scenes can be a bit much at times.
7.5

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
04-08-2014
7.5

Bit weird and unsettling, but nevertheless interesting and sensual

A must see for those interested in original alien movies, Scarlett Johansson, or both. Partially filmed with standard digital cameras, providing a successfull hidden camera experience. Visual effects from the eighties and creepy sounds throughout the movie provide the cherry on top.
7.5

Unbroken

The strory of an athletic runner who crashlands during WWII and becomes POW in Japan.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2015
7

Sligthly unemotional

An impressive story that is filmed tidily and with class, yet is a somewhat numb and flat experience, making it miss out on the impact it should have had.
7

Unborn, The

Two security officers guard and secure and builing the night before it gets demolished. Strange things happen.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-07-2021
7

Familiar, but done right

Although we certainly have seen similar things, I thought this was well above the norm. Apparently there is still merit in horror featuring walking around dark places with flashlights. The atmosphere is creepy and unnerving, and I liked the lead actress slowly loosing her cool.
7

Ultrasound

Due to a flat tire man is forced to spend the night at strangers, but it marks the beginning of his entire reality falling apart

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
14-04-2022
7

Intriguing but executed a bit dull

It is hard to follow, but in a nice, mindfuck twisted way, and it is carried on a diligent synth ambient track as well. But something about it is a bit simplistic and uninspired, like the creators were more interested in the idea itself that the presentation of it.
7

UFO

Talented math student gets obsessed with a brief UFO sighting. Not only to find out about their intentions, but also the coverup surrounding it.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
09-02-2019
7

Intriguing little UFO tale

I was sort of waiting for a movie like this. Make the UFO secondary, and focus on what it does to people. This one sort of does that, and I was quite amused by it and liked the central role of mathematics. It can feel a bit low budget at times, but overall: yeh, a smart and nice surprise.
7

Typewriter

Family movies into a new home with a cursed, but sought after, typewriter in it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
24-11-2019
7

mixed

It mixes a lot of themes with varying levels of success. There's horror, but also humor, mystery and sometimes it's almost a children's movie. Likewise it is mixed in quality. Sometimes creative and intense, but quite slow and a bit dorky at others. But it does have a unique vibe that sets it apart.
7

Two days one night

A woman recovering from depression finds out she is going to lose her job, and starts fighting back

RockmeNow
RockmeNow
13-02-2015
7

Okay

Slow paced movie with a rather straightforward plot, nevertheless managed to keep my attention. Interesting insight into moral issues that people are facing while struggling forward in current day society.
7

Tusk

Vlogger stays at a man's mansion to do an episode on him. But the man has plans to turn his guest into something else.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
19-05-2023
7

Sad horror, but without real impact

It's definitely out of the ordinary. Partly body horror, but I also found something very sad about it. The overall feeling however, is that of a student joke - especially after the end scroll. Somehow all the misery sort of passes you by.
7

Turist

After a man's unheroic behavior during an avalanche, both the skiing vacation and relationship with his family is falling apart

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2018
7.5

Intriguing and very well acted

It beautifully showed how this single event was slowly infecting and spreading like disease in their marriage, courtesy of the textbook acting and gentle pacing and camera work. One of those movies I didn't plan on watching, but couldn't stop once I did.
7.5

TrollHunter

Found footage of a filmcrew following a trollhunter in Norway

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-11-2013
6.5

Could have been much better if we believed in any of this

The shaky shots in darks woods are effective, as are the sound effects. But the movie is running out fuel quickly, the trolls are a bit too much to buy into the 'actual footage' thing, and the filmcrew are both scared out of their wits and rather indifferent about their adventures at the same time.
6.5

Troll

A paleontologist (?) works with the government to prevent an accidentally awoken troll to thrash Oslo.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2022
6.5

Only the monster is unique

Trolls are nice monsters for a change, and I somehow expected this to have a Nordic class of restraint, mysticism and folklore. Instead, they went with a full-on Hollywood blockbuster monster-movie vibe, with all the tired cliches and annoyances that come with it. Like you've already seen it.
6.5

Triple 9

Corrupt agents doing one more gig get caught up in a swamp of distrust

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2016
7

Gloomy and effective but not very involving

It's good to see some dark, well-acted, sweaty, and straight up bad cop action again, with effective action/violence because it doesn't want to over dramatize or orchestrate anything. It would have helped though, if we knew a little bit more about these guys so we can sympathize a little better.
7

Triangle

Shipwrecked friends climb onto a passing ship, but it is hardly an improvement....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2015
7.5

An great story, executed slightly dull

Direction and performances are a bit uninspired, contrasting with a really nifty and clever story that keeps your attention all the way. Even my wife stayed awake for this one.
7.5

Triada

Woman finds she's part of a triplet seperated at birth, and some dark secrets surrounding this situation

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
6.5

A couple of problems, but still enjoyable

We enjoyed this little crime puzzler, but I thought is was a little overacted and implausible, and the ending - where the evil nemesis elaborately tells about the masterplan - seemed like an out of fashion James Bond maneuver. The final showdown was disappointing, too.
6.5

Trench 11

Near the end of WWI, a group of soldiers investigates an abandoned German underground complex to find out what they did in there

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-01-2019
6

A bit underwhelming

The premise sets up a decent mysterious and scary atmosphere, but after a lot of flashlights in endless, similar looking dark hallways and disappointing bad guys, the thing runs out of fuel and fails to reap the claustrophobic possibilities.
6

Tremors

Texas country folk dealing with massive worm-like creatures attacking their tiny town

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019
7.5

Cheesy at it's best

Even when it was made, it already was silly, cheesy and ridiculous as can be. But it also managed to be an irresistible and charming combination of fun and dumb action that make it a classic. Every time I stumble upon it, I just cannot switch it of.
7.5

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Something with large and loud robots helping some kid and earth

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
4

Unbearably loud

That's it. I have grown old. Some years ago, I would still have fallen for the stellar CGI and non-stop heavy duty action. But as off now, I can no longer stand this hysteric, over-the-top, screaming insane action and was struggling not to switch this off.
4

Transformers: Age of Extinction

The humans built their own transformers, not realizing what they created. Autobots come to the rescue.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-10-2014
4

near torture

This movie looks AWESOME and is a production triumph. You can however, barely watch this. It is crammed with excessive, loud, stupid, endless, insane action, terrible humor, restless angled camera shots, rushed montage, cliches, bucket loads of kitsch and oversaturated color. Somebody make it stop.
4

Transcendence

The soul of a murdered AI scientist is transfered into the system. Will he play nice?

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
21-12-2014
6.5

Underwhelmed

This subject is right up my alley, but this movie is not. The conversations are a bit gibberish, the science lazy, the action misplaced.
6.5

Trainwreck

Promiscuous and drinking woman is struggling to make a steady relationship work when she meets someone special

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-07-2018
7.5

Well made and well acted

The surprisingly warm and talented cast, including Amy Schumer herself, make this movie flow wonderfully and naturally, providing plenty of smiles and a general good feeling along the way.
7.5

Train to Busan

A man takes his daughter on a train to Busan, just as a zombieoutbreak is happening.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-12-2018
7.5

Original and exciting ride

While the zombie behavior seemed a little outdated and borderline caricature, this movie offers a lot of thrilling and quite original scenes that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout.
7.5

Touch Me Not

I think it's about a woman trying to break through her fear of intimacy

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
07-05-2023
7.5

Experimental sexual therapy

No, it's not soft erotica as the description might seem to suggest. Instead, it is an experimental, wandering movie that explores the meaning of sexuality to remarkable people. Cold due to the bright lights and analytical style, yet intimate by letting us in.
7.5

Total Recall (2012)

Man inserts cool secret agent memories in his brain

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
16-08-2013
7.5

A very decent sci-fi action thriller.

If you manage to NOT see this as a reboot, it's a fine sci-fi action flick with some great designs.
7.5

Top Gun: Maverick

Maverick is called back to train a team destined to do the most dangerous mission ever

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-06-2022
8

The people don't work for me anymore, but the flying does

I had some trouble buying into the somewhat desperate portrayal of these pilots as beautiful, perfect, witty, slick, hip beings and the insubordinate way they go about their briefings and missions - even if this is Top Gun. But hell yes, the air footage and final combat makes up for it.
8

Tomorrowland aka Project T

A rebelious teenage girl is the chosen one to glimpse into a future world - and save it too

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2015
7.5

Gorgeous but Disney

For younsters, this is a splendid and exciting space adventure with a great spirit. Grumpy old men like me need to deal additionally with the miles thick morals, and the over-smart main character and her indifference towards the amazing things she encounters.
7.5

Tomorrow War, The

People are send to the future to help fight a loosing war against an alien invasion

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-07-2021
6

Forgettable and hardly interesting

While the time traveling does add something to the alien invasion genre, most of this felt quite cliched and tired. It's one of those movies seems to think it doesn't have to be exciting, involving, innovative or believable because it's just a blockbuster with a lot of money. Wrong.
6

Tombraider

Lara sets of the Japan to look for her long missing father, who was investigating a mysterious tomb on a desolate island

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-02-2019
6.5

Faithful videogame recreations don't automatically mean it's good

It follows the game really closely, and some of the scenes and scenery were really familiar. But, as much as I loved these games, seeing it recreated with real people just falls short and makes everything shallow, predictable and lifeless. I Guess this exemplifies the problem with videogame movies.
6.5

Tokyo Gore Police

A special police officer is on an assigment to take care evil modified humans, which involves a lot of bloodshed

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
7

Entertaining blood fountains

For the most part I was very entertained by the bizarre atmosphere and blood fountains. It's a nice doze of insanity that is so over the top you can enjoy without remorse. After a while though, it did get a bit pointless and clueless.
7

Titane

Woman goes on a killing spree and then hides by becoming someone's son. I kid you not. Also, something with cars.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-04-2023
7

Strange, unpleasant yet secretly fascinating

One of the strangest movies I have seen. I found it an unpleasant experience in ways I had not felt before. Everything is just so confusing, nasty, sweaty and ugly. But at the same time I was fascinated enough to look up the director and will keep track of her future works.
7

Titan, The

On a diminishing earth, some humans are experimentally transformed so they can live on the moon Titan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-08-2018
6

Experiment failed

It started okay-ish with a potentially interesting story and decent actors, but it is let down by a slow pace causing my attention to wander off several times, and then the story falls apart as it becomes incomprehensible and weird.
6

Time Trap

When they try to recover missing persons from a cave, it seems that in there, there is something wrong with time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-08-2020
6

Great idea cannot overcome B-movie atmosphere

I love the idea, and it's one that could have worked beautifully with limited budget and resources. Unfortunately, they went with rather dull, unimaginative characters delivering cheesy lines and doing crincy things, which results in a fatal B-movie atmosphere. Too bad, they were on to something.
6

Time Lapse

Three friends discover a device that takes a photo of their house everyday at eight o clock.... tomorrow

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-01-2016
8.5

Hats off to the minds that can cook up a story like this

A mind boggling story that continuously left me balancing on whether I was aboard or not, and had me drawing diagrams the next morning. And as if the story weren't complex enough, their is still room for an additional twist at the end too. Very clever.
8.5

Tides aka The Colony

Space colonists return to see if earth is habitable again, but get caught up in tribes competing with each other

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-08-2021
6.5

Promising beginning, so-so rest

Initially the wet, misty landscape sets an moody atmosphere, and the story manages to pull you in. As it progresses though, the madmax shenanigans are okay but felt a bit anticlimactic, and as a whole it looses some energy and mystery.
6.5

Thor The Dark World

Evil forces want to bring darkness to the worlds. Thor intervenes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
6.5

Another curious case of stellar looking boredom

I just sat around wondering how I could be so bored with so much beautiful looking stuff going on. Natalie Portman, who is dragged into celestial warfare, doesn't appear to be impressed by any of it either. Points are solely for looks and effort.
6.5

This is the End

Film actors at a party find themselves amidst judgement day... and saviour of the righteous only

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-06-2015
6

Mostly self absorbed

The idea of the actors playing more or less themselves in a bizarre situation like this is kind of nice. But for the most part, the look-at-how-funny-we-are is tiresome instead.
6

They/Them

A conversion camp for gays and other QHBT+ variations holds dark secrets and methods

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-02-2023
7

Mostly fine

I wasn't sure I wanted to watch an entire movie featuring exaggerated Q+HTBI characters, but Kevin Bacon is putting on quite a show, and the slowly developing sinister undertone makes it interesting. As it draws to and end, it felt ideas ran out and it winded up as a mediocre slasher.
7

There's Something Wrong With the Children

Two befriended couples on vacation visit a mysterious building, after which their children start to act weird

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-03-2023
6

Not intense or scary enough

The story has plenty of potential, but it's one of those movies that just won't get scary without an obvious reasons why. I am guessing it's that kids that are more annoying than scary, and an atmosphere that makes it feel like an episode in a series - with limited budget and inspiration.
6

Them That Follow

A woman of a secluded religious community, that does snake handling to prove their faith, has a secret

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-12-2021
7

Slow, but something is growing

The movie has a very serene atmosphere in which the slow daily life in the woods is portrayed very well, so much so that in fact halfway I almost started to long for some action. But there's a constant under the skin buzz that keeps it mysterious and kept me watching, with memorable performances.
7

Thanatomorphose

A woman's body starts rotting while she is still alive

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-03-2023
7.5

Unpleasant but relevant curiosity

It's a glooming, filthy and let's not forget very slow film that's not for everyone. But I have to say it worked too. The way she endures it, all alone in her windowless apartment, without seeking help, adds to an deep sense of isolation and depression, and a deeper meaning to it.
7.5

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Folks buy an old town to turn it into something hip, but one house still contains the freaky villain from the seventies

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-05-2023
7

Succesful slasher

While I suspect fans of the original have plenty to complain about, in itself I found this to be a fairly solid slasher movie. It has some good gore, and the tension in some scenes is well done and certainly above average.
7

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

A bad trip about a man who is slowly turning into metal scrap

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
02-01-2022
6.5

A good bad trip, but too pointless to be a satisfying movie

What if those creepy black and white 'art student movies' you see in horror films were a full length experience? Maybe it would be something like this. I was quite intrigued at first; it is effectively unsettling. But after while I wondered where it all was going and I lost my curiosity.
6.5

testmovie

desc
average 6.8

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
20-05-2013
4.5

final floattest, can't be one integer

2.5 for me
4.5

robocop
robocop
20-05-2013
9.5

It will also float this

Floating with 9.5
9.5

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-05-2013
6.5

testing it with float integer

floating rating 6.5
6.5

Terrifier 2

Girl faces a a clown that slaughters people in the most brutal ways

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-11-2022
7.5

A bold slaughterfest with eighties vibe

There's plenty of shock value, with executions that are bloody and painful the watch. They also managed to set up an eighties vibe by the colors used, and perhaps even the acting style. But I also felt is was a bit long and pointless.
7.5

Terminator: Genisys

The original timeline seen from the future perspective - until things start to change....

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-07-2015
6

Full of letdowns.. just barely makes it to 'entertaining'

Kyle is now a miscasted dork. Sarah is now omnipotent and omniscient so all excitement is gone. The terminators scenes feel like a 'best of' rehash of earlier movies. It has an unrealistic and strange sterile look to it. The time travel has become a caricaturisation. Arnold was funny though.
6

Terminator Dark Fate

More or less the original story but with more females

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-04-2020
5.5

No

Some action scenes successfully revisit the hard-hitting robot fights and good old car chases. But my god, Sarah Connor is a hideous, disastrous character now and the other ones have to deliver some pretty painful dialogue as well. The forever recovering evil cyborg got boring, too.
5.5

Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines

Again, a terminator comes back in time to secure the future. Again, he is hunted down by an advanced terminator model

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-05-2014
7

A lesser but stilll adequate episode

Not as epic and overwhelming as the preceding parts, in part because of the rather dull main characters. Still, there's plenty of Terminator goodness in here to have a good time. Average actionmovies back then still were more fun than the soulless fx bonanzas we get nowadays.
7

Terminator, The

In the future, killer robotmachines rule, and send a terminator cyborg back to the presents prevent prevent the human rebellion leader from ever being born.
average 7.0

robocop
robocop
13-02-2013
5

Not bad for such a wuzz

It lacks soul like i have. In the end, it is human decision making that settles things.
5

Catwoman88
Catwoman88
01-02-2013
7

Could have been better meow

This movie needed more latex I could have privided, as well as more meow. Anywway this review is a bit on the long side for testing purposes.
7

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Wittenberg
Wittenberg
31-01-2013
9

The definition of cyborg

This movie not only is still the final word in cyborgs, it also demonstrated how such a movie could be genuinly exciting and intellegent.
9

Tenet

A special agent is ask to assist in a mysterious mission to prevent WW3, for which he encounters things that go back in time

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-09-2020
8.5

The most audacious and genius movie ever, but does that mean enjoybale

Clearly we have another Nolan gem on our hands, in terms of visuals, music and the mind blowing story. Initially I wondered if the complexity was just too much, getting in the way of enjoyment. But as it starts to digest in days after, you begin to grasp the sheer genius and audacity of this.
8.5

Temple, The

Three people travel to a mysterious desolate temple in Japan where strange events have been reported

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-09-2018
5.5

They forgot to write it

I quite liked the beginning with moody Japanese scenery and mystery. But as they approach the temple, it looks like they had no more ideas so they just threw in some random, incoherent bland scary stuff and were done with it. Very unsatisfying.
5.5

Teleios

A spaceship docks with a distant spacestation to retrieve a mysterious cargo

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-09-2017
3

The costumes, my god, the costumes!

I think I needed about 7 attempts to watch this all the way through. It is so goofy and off that I thought it would turn into a spacemovie parody, only to realize in horror they are for real. The rest of it is just painfully boring and features a crew wearing the ugliest costumes of all time.
3

Teeth

A girl finds she has teeth in her vagina (there's actually a name for that too: Vagina testada)

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-02-2023
7.5

Surprisingly good

Oh my, what kind of movie can possibly come out of this? A pretty good one, apparently! I was pleasantly surprised by an effective mix of drama, horror and humor. It takes itself seriously with becoming heavy handed, and even has some good cinematographic moments in there too.
7.5

Teenage Mutant Turtle Ninjas

When a badguy attempts to poisson the city, the turtles must finally come out in the open and defend the city

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
04-12-2014
6

An unnecessary movie with no audience

If the idiotic concept of TNMT will ever make any sense, it is in a vivid, wacky animated environment. In a real life movie it didn't really work, the story and pacing were bland and the turtles extremely uncomfortable to look at.
6

Ted

A boy's teddybear comes to live and they become best friends.... which becomes problematic when he is an adult

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-02-2013
7.5

Should have been even funnier

The whole idea is so outstandingly funny that I couldn't help feeling somewhat disappointed. But it IS funny.
7.5

Tau

Woman is kidnapped by a dude working on some AI thing, so she tries to gain the trust of the artificial intercom housekeeper in order to escape

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
30-06-2018
6

Lovely story but difficult to execute - and it shows

While I loved the idea, it would all depend on convincing dialogue and acting whether it would work out. Unfortunately, both are below par and the movie is too slow or mediocre to keep me interested.
6

Talk to Me

Them kids play with a model of a hand that brings them in contact with ghosts

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-09-2023
7

An above average spirt summoner

Summoning the spirits and the inevitable consequences may be a familiar theme, but I thought this movie had enough ideas of it's own to keep it fresh and interesting. I wish it was scarier though, and that I liked the characters more.
7

Taking of Deborah Logan, The

Students want to film a patient with Alzheimers, but end up documenting something much more sinister

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
29-11-2023
6.5

Some good scares and ideas in a mediocre mockumentary

This movie captures the potential creepiness of elderly people doing strange things in the dark quite well, and certainly has some striking scenes to offer. But some of the other characters, and most of the unconvincing in-between found footage stuff, bored me.
6.5

Tabernacle 101

Dude dies and revives to prove there is no afterlife. Dark consequences result.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2023
3.5

Maximum amateurism

I don't mind the similar story to Flatliners; it's an exciting concept there deserves be explored further, and is something that could work fine for a movie with little resources. Unfortunately, this is amateuristic to the core.
3.5

T-34

A Russian ace tank commander is captured by the germans, but gets a unique opportunity to escape. With a tank, of course.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
06-12-2020
7.5

Tank porn. It exists.

A rather bold action flick showing loads of tanks with super slowmo shell penetrations and sweaty screaming Russians. I feared it was more of a videoclip than a movie, but the story catches up and makes it worthwhile and quite exciting indeed. Perfect for tank aficionados like me.
7.5

Synchronicity

Small teams get a timemachine to run work, one of them gets caught up in paradoxes

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
17-06-2018
5

The story is there. Execution is not.

There's probably a really clever, if not somewhat difficult to follow, story in here. But the really lackluster execution, dull performances, suspiciously limited locations and depressing dark colors made me struggle to care... no matter how much bladerunner music they throw in!
5

Swiss Army Man

A lost and stranded guy finds a corpse on the beach, who's 'special powers' and friendship help him to make the journey home

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
13-08-2017
6.5

Just because it's unique doens't mean I like farts

I guess there's points for originality and it sort of works in it's own special way, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being pranked into watching someone's bizarre fart joke fantasies.
6.5

Sweet Home

A group of very different people in an appartment building is faced with fighting monsters

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
23-02-2021
5

The characters hit a nerve I did not know I had

The groundwork was promising; colorful cartoon-like imagery, pleasantly weird monsters and potentially interesting group dynamics. But none of the people is particularly likable. In fact I started to despise many of them up until the point I could no longer watch it. Never had this before.
5

Svart Krabba

In a fictive war, soldiers are send into the night on skates, to cross a lake for a world saving mission

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
26-05-2022
7

Decent little war movie that does things differently.

Overall it doesn't feel very plausible, and some of the combat feels slightly tame and lacking suspense. But it's different, varied and builts up to a unexpectedly large finale and plot twist. An amusing watch for sure.
7

Suzume

Girl is on a mission to stop doors from releasing sky worms that cause earthquakes, together with her friend - who turned into a chair.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
11-10-2023
7.5

Why minds should be set free

Go see it if you don't buy that description. I really appreciated this wildly imaginative story backed up with spectacular animation. It is a testimony for what may come from unrestricted, unbound filmmaking... even if the result may be difficult to connect with emotionally.
7.5

Suspiria (2018)

Talented ballet dancer is accepted in a mysterious danceschool, were something occult is going on

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
25-05-2019
7.5

Uneasy

While not as deeply disturbing as the of hype would make you believe, it was uneasy for sure. I liked it; photography was beautiful, and the slow tension and mystery keeps you hooked. But at the same time, I was slightly disappointed for not requiring therapy afterwards.
7.5

Superdeep, The

Russian horror about a rescue team entering the deepest researchfacility on earth where strange things have been occuring

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
10-07-2021
7

Plenty to complain about, but enough going for it

Maybe it didn't quite nail the claustrophobic atmosphere the way it could have, it aches towards a B-movie and most characters are unlikable and simplistic. But I gotta say: the overall concept is creepy and done nicely, and the mold/spore enemy original and impressive. Nice music, too
7

Superbad

Two constantly arguing but inseparable friends on a mission to get booze and laid on the last party of the year

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
05-08-2018
7.5

The Tarantino of highschool movies

The constant and lengthy foul-mouthed dialogues and contemplations create an atmosphere reminiscent of Tarantino movies. It's kind of like an adult version of highschool movies. Cool.
7.5

Sunshine

On a spacemission to reignate the sun, one ordeal leads to another when they decide to make a small change in the missionplan

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
15-06-2013
8.5

Beauty and class can outshine anything

This amount of loopholes and illogical elements in the plot would have crippled most movies. But Sunshine is so beautiful, classy and exciting that it outshines them easily. I also love the self aware, scientific-ethical attitude of the crew.
8.5

Sully

On the miracle emergency plane landing on the Hudson where everyone walked away

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
27-08-2017
6.5

Over dramatized

The landing appears faithfully recreated and was thrilling to see, but the events surrounding it felt over dramatized. Also, the research committee seemed strangely angry and eager to discredit the pilot's doings, and almost started crying when they couldn't. What??
6.5

Suicide Club

Detectives try to figure out a pandamic of mass suicides

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
12-06-2023
7

Good until the actual club shows up

The first half is quite shocking and uneasy, as we're all left in the dark as to what is causing these tragedies. Then the real 'club' shows up, which are terribly annoying characters who do annoying things and form a dissonant wedge from which the film does not recover.
7

Sucker Punch

Girl is institutionalized, but lives violent fantasies while dancing which help her escape it the end. Or something.

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
20-04-2014
7.5

Violent video clip, done with much love

Easy to fault, but I was amused by the violent, fabulously stylized, unearthly, anachronistic action, as well as the moody and steamy atmosphere. Absorb it like a videoclip, then you may get it.
7.5

Strays, The

A woman's high life is disturbed when two children show up

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
08-03-2023
7

A decent horror drama

More drama than horror, but a feeling of increasing discomfort and dread is unmistakable. Everything is done pretty well, and I liked how the timelines of two perspectives come together. But part of me felt it remained a little lightweight, could have hit harder.
7

Strange World

Son of an explorer discovers a magical energyplant that changes the word, but when crops die they venture into a strange world to save it

Wittenberg
Wittenberg
03-01-2023
6.5

Bubbly but not engaging

It's hard to not like the vivid, colorful and imaginative world on display, and I quite liked the big reveal as well. But in the end I didn't really feel involved. Perhaps I am growing tired of the generic looks of Disney characters, and did not particularly like any of them either.
6.5

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